|did not have before coming into the house. After 62 days I will take away the following things:
1st - I'm a lot strong than I have ever given myself credit for. I have spend the last 34 years underestimating myself and being intimidated by people who are bigger and smarter than me. I have underestimated myself at every turn. As corny as it seems. the 1st endurance with the surf boards, for me to do what i did in that challenge, that was a turning point for me (not in the game), but in life. I'm stronger than I was
2nd big thing I will take away when I walk out the door tomorrow is that I have spent my adult life being very superficial and judging people primarily by things that don't matter..the way they dress, look etc. If I'm ever gonna fall in love, I need to re prioritize, I need to give people a shot who I might not initially find physically attractive. Not just with intimacy but having straight friends again. I need t be more open and crawl out of my comfort zone, because I'm missing so much in my day to day life by not doing that.
Another think I have learned is a life lesson I think I came into the game with and something I was trying to explain to Rachel. Not all the attention you get is gonna be positive attention and if you are hungry for attention. Negative attention is never going to get you what you want. I've seen that in my 20's but seen it magnified in Rachels behavior.
4th thing: I am to pessimistic and it makes me an unlikable person. I get really down on myself and my hopes for the future. I take it out on people around me, so I apologize to production for my diva behavior. I need to find a different process because its not fair to the people in his life supporting him. I need to work on that to be a better person.