The Krafty Chronicles -
Survivor All Stars Week 2
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By: FuggyBootnling
"I think I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a day that went by since being in
Africa that I didn't think at some point, even if it was just for a moment,
about Survivor, about the game, and about the possibility of coming back one
day." - Lex van den Berghe
Wow...just...
Wow.
It's like
seeing old friends again. Each and every one of these contestants brings
something to the table, I like them all in some fashion. The speculation,
theorizing, dreaming is over. All Star is HERE, and it's overwhelming.
What other reality show would be able to do this? Could rely on the star
power of itself to carry it through a season? It's a mark of the supremely
successful casting process of the show that something like this would even be
viable. Who needs a Celebrity Survivor? As Burnett said himself, THESE are our
A-list stars.
Last season I wrote an article for this site on the Pearl
Islands final six, talking about how all the players in the final six sucked.
Now...I can only think of one way to write this. All these players...
ROCK!!!!!!!! I MEAN FREAKING RAWK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where do we
start? Just pick a player...
Jerri rocks because she's managed to bite
her tongue for six days about running the show, becoming almost the Amber to
Jenna's Jerri. That's no small feat for someone as assertive and strong as she
is. Though next week it looks like she will fight with Rupert, the most popular
castaway ever. Something tells me this won't exactly endear her to the viewing
public.
Jenna Lewis rocks because she has gone from being a naive
Pagonger to the power player on her tribe. She's boundlessly enthusiastic, and
absolutely utterly in it to WIN IT. It's a take no prisoners competition with
her...but yet she's respectful of people too. And she's hot, in fact hotter than
she was on Pulau Tiga.
Big Tom rocks because he's just...Ol' Big Tom!
He's funny, he works his ass off, doesn't complain about the elements, does the
patented Big Tom Dance in the rain, and no one else says "Crybaby titty sucking"
better. Oh, and he's also scheming and plotting his ass off!
Kathy rocks
because it's great to see that indomitable spirit and enthusiasm she always had
in the Marquesas. And that wonderful laugh is back too! Can't wait to see more
of her strategic thinking.
Rich ROCKS!!!!!! because he's...just so damn
arrogant, but yet he's fighting his own common sense in thinking that he could
win. He knows he's got a huge target on himself, an even bigger target than any
other winner, but he just isn't letting that get him down. He's circling, trying
to figure out what to do, knows he can't win...maybe...even though he
can't...but then he'll see...
Lex rocks because he's personable as hell,
gets along with the tribe, and could care less about Rich's nudity. Plus...he's
in a rock band, so he has to rock.
Ethan rocks because he has shown more
personality in two episodes than he did in 13 episodes of Africa. Snarky
comments about Jenna? Geez, I know there is bad blood because you dated, but the
angelic Mr. Zohn actually DISSING someone??? Funny thing is, I like him even
more for that.
Rupert rocks because...well, he's Rupert, and you gotta
give him props for turning around so soon after Pearl Islands and doing this all
over again. Plus he rigged up a nice Hawaiian sling spear, and caught the first
fish. Food providing is going to be INVALUABLE this time around!
Rob C.
rocks because...he's The Robasu, and will rock from now until the end of time.
The Obsessive Survivor Fan, who not only places third on his fave show, but then
becomes an All Star?? He's already succeeded at the game beyond his wildest
dreams.
Amber rocks, because she's executing her original FUTR approach,
and in this crew of BIG PERSONALITIES that's a great, great strategy. She WILL
go far.
Alicia rocks because she's looking smokin', she is strong and
fit, and is butting heads with Mariano, who needs someone to stand up to his
rulership.
But for that matter, Mariano rocks because he's stepped up to
take the lead, when no one else in the game has dared to do so. That takes
balls, and more power to him for doing that. Plus he's been making with the
funny more than just about anyone so far.
Sue rocks because she's tough
as NAILS. Drinking the water, eating raw food...the woman is made of iron. Like
Rudy, she is just one of a kind - it simply wouldn't be All Star without her.
Plus I have a soft spot for Wisconsonian accents.
Jenna Morasca rocks
because the Insider clips show just how witty and charming this woman really is.
It's too bad she's about to leave, and we won't get to see how long she would
have lasted in the game.
Shii Ann rocks because she wants to keep Rich
in the game, for a little bit of time at least. "What fun would it be if the
king left on the first day?" She's absolutely right...there'll be plenty of time
to boot Rich later.
Colby rocks only minimally, given that I don't think
his heart is really into this. He keeps talking about how hard it's going to
get, why he came out there, and so on. But...he's still Challenge Machine Colby,
and deserves some rocking props for that.
Rudy rocks...for obvious
reasons that don't need to be explained. As Jerri said he's "one of a kind." Can
you imagine if he somehow snuck into the merge? He would have been in for the
long haul. Though maybe not...his interviews since Thursday show me the man was
still in Survivor I - "make an alliance of four and then duke it out in the
end." Sorry Rudy...if you hadn't noticed, the game has kind of evolved since
then.
Finally Tina rocks too...because she fulfilled my wishes about
Episode One and was voted out first. Buh-bye!
I can't imagine how hard
it must be to edit these first few episodes down. Not only are there three
tribes to cover, but there just isn't anyone who's dull, or not worth some
screen time. I could watch three hours of this a week, with rapt attention.
Could this be the greatest Survivor series ever???
Funniest Quote: It
goes to Rob Mariano, with his laugh-tastic "We wouldn't wanna upset Pretty Boy
Probst." Again, it shows confidence in the franchise that they left that in, the
first time I can recall any contestant making fun of Jeffy within the show
itself.
So for next week...well, it shouldn't be a big secret
(especially given the previews) that the fate of Jenna Morasca's mom will be the
heavily discussed topic. All Star started filming on November 3 last year, the
episode upcoming will take us to the 11th, and Carla Morasca died on the 19th.
So Jenna will be leaving soon, and probably this episode. It's going to
be...really sad to see. I think. Jenna is a woman who took a LOT of heat in the
Amazon for her behavior, but I've grown to have an immense amount of respect
for her. She's a beautiful person, both inside and out, and a worthy winner too.
I can't imagine she would have made it very far, but I still would have liked to
see just how well she would have done.
The days just can't tick by fast
enough.
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questions/remarks to the Joker's Mailbag
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