By: Kimba
As no competitions wait for the HGs this morning of the 21st
day of feeds, the HGs choose to sleep in until eleven o’clock. Wouldn’t it be
nice if everyone’s Monday morning could start like that? Erika greets the day
with a little ditty about a “ManTroll” who must be killed, and it is clear to
everyone watching what the theme of the day will be—after all, two of our
favorite people are nominated and we have to lose one this Wednesday. Bah.
Two members from opposing factions (Alison and Robert) discuss strategy
early on, and it appears to be a ploy on both sides to gain as much information
as possible without giving up very much at all. Thus, the conversation isn’t
really interesting. Alie lies and says that if she wins HOH, she doesn’t know
whom she will nominate; Robert repeats the lie. He further fibs when he tells
Alie that Dana is not out for her and not telling other people to nominate her
when they get the chance. Their fantasies then move on to where they will be
sequestered, and they are under the delusions that Acapulco could be the place.
Interestingly enough, at about quarter after twelve, the message “Expect
the Unexpected” shows up on the plasma screen. Though no one really comments on
it, it does make us go hmmm…
As the day moves on, Dana, Jee, Jun, Justin
and Robert hang out in the living room after finishing their breakfast
sandwiches and chat about, what else, how much of a loser Nathan is. Robert says
Alison thinks like a “high-school kid;” Dana regrets, again, not putting up the
Blondies together; Robert repeats over and over how Nathan is “so gay.” Erika is
a “stupid bitch”; everyone else is so “childish” and don’t belong in the house;
and on and on and on. An interesting thing to note, however, is that the Rat
Pack has decided ~not~ to tell David or Jack (whomever they vote against) that
they will be evicted—they want to give “them a taste” of what they got last
week.
Meanwhile outside, the rest of the house is engaging in some
fun—David does his now familiar cannonball into the pool trick to douse some
unsuspecting HG. This time the unlucky person is Nathan, and as the Rat Pack
watch through the windows, they make fun of Nathan not wanting to get his hair
wet and of Alison who “didn’t even laugh,” that “bitch”—as Dana remarks.
The house falls to the regular: lounging, card-playing, chatting, etc.
Some things of note: Dana seems to think that because she has “five years of
school,” she should be making a million dollars a year—only if it were that
easy!! In any case, though she used to make three times the money she does now,
she is happy doing what she does (karate instructor). Jun can’t understand that
because she loves money too much. Jun majored in Sociology, but soon switched it
to English (okay, maybe not so important to note…).
As for strategizing,
here are some interesting parts of the afternoon: Erika, though she doesn’t say
exactly whom she will vote for this week, admits that she “never thought that
this would happen so early in the game” and that she really likes Dave—who just
also happens to be the stronger player. She also admits to the others that she
thinks he is “brilliant”—he hasn’t lost a chess game yet. Nathan just wishes he
would stay more focused. The alliance group spends quite a bit of time studying
possible HOH competition questions, unlike the Rat Pack who is lounging around
feeling pretty secure, obviously.
Burger King arrives and the HGs are
even less enthused than yesterday. I think perhaps the fast food loses its
appeal day after day. Some of the HGs don’t even bother coming in right away;
Dana and Justin are too involved in a battle over whether or not Dana is going
to get wet that day. While Jee cheers Justin on, he tries to pull her to the
pool, but after many cries of “I don’t want to wash my hair today!!” he manages
to wrangle her under the shower which Jee immediately turns on over the both of
them. Justin laughs, but Dana mocks anger—her basket of laundry was nearby and
got soaked. She does giggle, however, and only remarks, “You ***** *****-head,
you are so done! You are so done!” Her retribution is swift and involves a
spraying hose.
Jun is outside during this altercation, but she soon gets
up to go inside—perhaps for her lunch? Dana immediately yells at her, “Jun,
don’t eat yet! Don’t eat if you’re not hungry! It’s one of the rules of weight
loss!” You know, I can understand support from your friends when you are trying
not to compulsively eat, but does Dana really need to shout it across the
backyard like that? And later go inside to grab her meal and partake in the
greasy goodness herself out on the patio? Oh well. The Rat Pack eats outside
while the remaining members of the original alliance chow down inside. Could the
split in the house become any more defined? Justin takes the lull of lunch to
reiterate his case that David stay over Jack—he insists that he wants it so
because he’d rather be sequestered with David than with Jack ~and~ because he
thinks Dave would stick to their deal and go after Nathan (and really, as he
says, “what the ***** is Jack going to do?). Ah Dana, listen, listen! In fact,
all of the Stooges keep running by the idea of keeping David, but Jun is the
adamant one that he ~must~ go. A few times she says, “***** Dave”—and am I the
only one to think that her animosity is less about getting a good player out and
more about her refuted attempts to seduce him? Nothing much gets solved,
however, as Dana goes out to lie in the sun; oh, and to give her credit, she
actually doesn’t eat the BK: “I’m just not hungry. I just ate, dude, I’m full.”
Not long after this, Dave enters the HOH room with the Stooges and, as
yesterday, pleads his case for staying. He guarantees that he will go after
Alison and Nathan in order to stay. He also agrees to be the scapegoat to
nominate Dana and Jun after the Blondies go. The Rat Pack says that they must
convince Dana and Jun first, and then tell him that if it works out they will
bring ~him~ to the final four (and ~not~ Dana or Jun). They also want Erika on
their side—that is, until they can dump her. On this note, Dave leaves and soon
the two women who think they are part of the Stooge-group enter. The Stooges
work on them to vote Dave out, but Jun, as usual, is not convinced—“he will
stick to the original plan. Unless something drastic happens, we should stick to
getting Dave out… Once his anger passes about Nathan, and it will, he’ll be back
to getting us all out again.” The Rat Pack choruses, “You’re right, you’re
right” and it appears once again that Dave is their target for the week (though
Justin does keep fighting). Dana, to be honest, does appear to be sitting on the
fence, but she likes that Jack is scared and wants to keep scared people in the
house—David doesn’t seem to be one of them.
Dave is then called back to
the HOH at this point and is put in the hot seat by Dana and Jun while the
Stooges head outside. Dave reiterates that he will stick to the deal to get
Alison and Nathan out, while he also points out that he has more influence over
Erika than Jack has. He spends quite a bit of time explaining how he will side
with them in order to stay, but when it is all done, the women have other topics
on their mind. Dana: “So, you wanna make out? Have you had any sexual dreams
about me yet?” I think that if Dave could stay, he might possibly be the exact
tool needed to drive a wedge between the step-sisters. Eventually Erika comes
in, but nothing much is said—she just sits and listens to what Dana has to say
(Alie and Nate-bashing) and parrots everything back to her. Dana does say that
she wants David to stay, but just doesn’t know if she can believe him;
furthermore, the fact that Erika will never want to “side” with Robert concerns
her. She also tells Erika that, during the second week, Nathan did not trust
David, Erika or Jack and considered voting out Erika.
Once Erika leaves,
she immediately goes to her allies and tells them about that last tidbit of
information. They don’t take it too seriously, however, and agree that they
can’t trust a single word Dana says. As for her wanting to keep David in the
house, Jack remarks: “She is thinking with her panties!” Dave and Erika then
decide to play cards, but as they head to the living room, Dave stops and says,
“Wait, I’ve got to grab something.” And what is the something? Alison’s butt!
She doesn’t murmur one protest as he gropes her bum. She does, however, pout
that neither Dave nor Jack have asked her for her vote—to which Dave and Erika
reply, “Because your vote doesn’t matter! We’re in the minority.”
Over
in the HOH room, things are not looking so good for David. The Stooges, who
~really~ do deserve that name, tell Dana and Jun that David said (not agreed;
no, no, they say this as if Dave came up with the idea) he would put Dana and
Jun up for nomination once Alison and Nathan were gone. Of course, Dana is
pissed and says, “That is why he has to go now.” Jun agrees and says that she
hasn’t trusted him since Day One.
The evening rolls into being and the
HGs move on in their usual way. Erika cries a little bit and admits that the
game is getting to her, while Alie tries to comfort her. Alie then moves on to
bashing the ManTroll with Nathan and hilariously enough says, “I ***** hate her.
I hate when people talk behind other people’s backs. I hate when people go
around and conspire.” Oookay, Alie. Why don’t you tell us now how you hate
flighty blonde women with messed-up noses? Some of the HGs exercise; Jun reveals
that she has gained at least ten pounds since coming into the house (a pair of
jeans she brought with her don’t fit anymore). Dave works on his flirting skills
when he takes everything Dana is holding out of her hands, lifts her onto the
freezer and moves close to her in between her legs. She only laughs and gets
down, but she likes the attention a lot. While she prepares dinner, he smacks
her butt over and over and, yes, she likes it. As boredom gets the better of
him, he loops some bath-poofs over his ears, dons some kitchen gloves and places
a translucent yellow bowl on his head for a hat. He shoots some hoops and
mutters that he is “bored out of his gourd.”
Around eight in the
evening, talk about the weather commences. Now you may think, how boring! But
for some reason, Robert is convinced that there will be an earthquake tonight.
Whether he is messing with the HGs or not, he acts as though he is being
serious. Even Erika says, “Whenever someone says an earthquake is going to
happen, it happens.” Ooh, eerie. Heh. The sky, however, looks odd according to
the HGs, and some thunder and lightening is observed. Alie goes inside to get
the Earthquake Instructions they are given by BB, brings them back out and
starts reading them. To her horror, one of the cautions is to stay away from
windows: “Oh my god, this whole house is windows!”
Despite their
momentary panic about a supposed earthquake, the night soon settles into its
normal routine. Dave and Rob plot how to scare Jee with a fake earthquake when
he is asleep. Dana and Justin cuddle in the HOH room; when the other Stooges
come in, they bash Nathan and talk about how they will “rub it in his face” if
they win HOH. Alison asks Jee to let her use the cards when he is done with
them, but the second Alie is gone, Dana tells Jee not to give them to her. Her
generosity doesn’t stop there; apparently Alie’s birthday is on Thursday and
“***** that bitch! We ain’t doing nothing for her.” There is ping pong and more
ping pong and general restlessness. Again, the house shows how divided it is:
the original alliance hangs out in the living room while the Rat Pack congregate
in the kitchen; Dave, however, floats between the two. There is some rather
raunchy talk about wet dreams and ejaculate (and how Nathan probably doesn’t
have any, according to Dana) and Viagra (Robert: “Oh, when I get home I'm gonna
do so many chicks. I want to bring some Viagra to the cast party. You can *****,
come and stay hard. It's still hard in the morning”). If you want to read more
nasty words spewed by Rat Bastard on this subject, head to Updates and check out
Bert’s transcript of the convo.
The step-sisters (Dana and Jun) are
meanwhile bashing the HGs (did you think it was going to be something else?).
Erika has bad style; she looks like a man sometimes. Alie’s thighs are too
thick; she is not very pretty. Robert’s looks are a 5, but his personality bumps
him up to a 7 (WTF?). Amanda wasn’t so attractive, but Justin disagrees here and
says that she was “hot”—a 9 at least, and a 9 for personality, too. Michelle was
“kinda thick” in the face according to Dana, but again a man comes to the
rescue; Jee thinks Michelle was very attractive. Man, I just wonder what these
two women would be saying about each other if they weren’t allied right now…
Chitchat: Justin tells the others that if Julie Chen asks him how he
feels about his ex-girlfriend being vetoed, he will answer, “Nathan is a *****
*****.” Sure, Justin. Dana tells the others how the people at her work would
“die” if they found out she smokes pot (do these people KNOW they are on
camera?). She then recites a little story about drinking a bottle of vinegar to
cheat on a drug test; luckily for her, she became so sick by it that they sent
her home and she didn’t need to take the test. So if vinegar works, apparently
so too do cotton balls soaked in Clorox—this is according to Justin who knew a
guy who did it (that’s bleach! That’s ***** crazy!). About Alie: she is trashy,
she is a giant ho, she is ***** retarded…need I really transcribe this all? It’s
not as if we haven’t heard the Rat Pack say this ***** a billion times before.
The wee hours of the morning approach (it’s well after 1:00am at this
point) and Robert chooses to tell Erika that Dave is getting voted out. Erika
cries and asks Dana if she can give her vote to Dave (meaning vote against Jack)
and Dana says yes. Still, she doesn’t take the news well—she says that David
provides her mental stability in the house and if he goes, she wants to go next
week. Dana, in between apologizing profusely, only tells her to channel her
anger towards Nathan. Eventually she goes on to delve into her hate for Nathan
again. What I don’t understand is how she blames him for playing emotionally
when it is “just a game;” isn’t her anger towards him emotional when it is, as
she says, only a game? Can’t she understand that if Nathan had to lose one of
his allies, he’d rather it not be Alison because she is his closest partner?
Dana only seems to accept game-play when it is hers; as for being emotional, she
is one of those crazy people who is completely submersed in her emotions but
absolutely denies that she is. Freak.
Erika leaves the HOH and heads to
the hammock to try to compose herself. She is still crying, however, when she
tells Dave that he “makes it bearable” for her, and even yet still when she
finds Jack and tells him that since she knows he is staying, she is going to
vote against him (and thus give a vote for David to stay). Her compassion is
well-received by her allies, but the Rat pack only make fun of her the second
she left the room. Robert remarks that she is only crying because “she knows her
***** back is up against the wall.” Jun meanwhile keeps saying about Erika, “Get
***** over it.” Jun…as much as I want to have compassion for her and her obvious
eating disorder and how people make fun of her based on that alone…I just can’t
***** stand her!
Dave, Erika and Jack meanwhile discuss how they feel
about Dave leaving. Jack says it is going to be boring without him. Erika states
that David must be the most popular person with the internet-watchers and
everyone must love him (we do, we do! We don’t want Dave to go!!). David takes
it all like a good sport and says not only was it a fluke that he got on the
show, but now he gets to go home and call Amanda (awww). The conversation soon
turns to strategy: Erika wants Dana out now more than anyone. She also seems to
think it a good possibility that the final four will include the Stooges and
her. As they all agree, Erika and Jack will be in a “pristine position”: ready
to play the hate of the Rat Pack against the hate of the Blondies and to get rid
of Dana and Jun for the Stooges. The night wears on and Erika continues to
sniffle—she is really not happy.
By four in the morning, the HGs all
settle down to sleep. Before they do, we learn a few things: Dave promises that
he will call Dana “ManTroll” on the live show (why do I believe him more than
Justin?). Alie calls Dana “trashy” (interesting, that is what Dana called her
earlier), but then stops herself and says, “Let’s not be catty like them.” Jack
mentions that Dana and Jun went “ballistic” on him that morning for making
bacon—apparently they were making sausage and he had “no right” to make bacon,
too. Erika tells the others that Robert’s car was repossessed and that he lives
with his parents in a home owned by his grandparents (lmao, that is NOT what
Robbie has been leading the others to believe—what with walking around naked all
day on Viagra with a huge *****). Golden boy is angry at Jun (they are all
gunning for her now) and how she walks around with “her ass hanging out of her
shorts.” It’s “disgusting” to him. He also can’t wait until “Dana puts the HOH
key around Alison’s neck;” he really seems to believe she will win it on
Wednesday. Alison mentions the “Expect the Unexpected” message that came onto
the plasma screen—there may be a chance for David yet (ah, don’t make me hope!).
Erika and Jack agree that they will let Alie or Nathan win the HOH if they are
still in the competition in the end; but that if they aren’t, they will gladly
win and put up Jun and Justin. Finally, Dave considers the many ways that he
“can make an impression” on the live show—maybe by dissing the Rat Pack?
And that’s it today for the “We Hate Dana Show” (as so titled by Erika).
Tune in tomorrow for what will assuredly be another segment.
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