A:Ivette has said that throughout this game, they were both (her and Beau)picked for each other
M: She's really pointed out that "you are the friend" you are the friend" but,she's pointed out about 20 times, you're right, that really could've hurt Beau
A: umm...I saw Beau and Ivette as equal, as applying for this show, because thru the whole game she said, "we're equal", "we're equal", "both of us got thrown into this together. Neither one of us knew each other" "neither one of us"...That's why I was, I wanted to do, and I'm not saying I, we made wrong decisions, so I'm not second guessing that, but that's why I was going to do what you told me to do, because #1 you could've knock me off, if you wanted...I didn't think you were going to do it , but,you could've, and I had to go with...I saw us as equals. I did see that (picking nose pause)because you had told me so many times that Beau and her were equals, that one didn't deserve it over the other, because they both, they got picked separately to be together..does that make sense? (ed note: huh?)
M: riiight, yeah
A: like they were not friends, they picked them from two different pods and put them in one. One wasn't over the other...Like Jennifer applied for the show...
Maggie: you know, I wonder why Ivette said multiple times "Beau is the friend", and Beau agreed with it, wasn't like she said it when he wasn't there
A: well, they initially found Ivette at the...
M: first, yeah, they found Ivette first. Ivette went to the first fight club and Beau didn't, so that's how...
A: yeah, that's how you can assume that she's the friend, but if you look...
M: got it
A: none of Ivette's friends even got picked
M: yeah
A: they went outside of that even round (?), it doesn't...I mean to me , it doesn't sound like she has a lot of friends, I mean or half of them, I mean, she's...are p*ss*d off at her or she's p*ss*d of at them
M: yeah, that's weird, to hear those things, that's weird...I don't...I don't get over my friends
A: yeah, yeah
M: *sigh* I don't know April
A: I...I just think because of the age, I don't know I just think there's way different maturity levels, here, and, you know, even last night when she was saying..you know..."I don't want Tush to ever feel like she can't do something"...well, if you can't...
M: well, did you hear me, I'm all, well, you can't go out to dinner,you have to, when you are fresh with, a couple, you make a salad at home, like there's not, that's what you do and cuz you're in love, it's, it's okay
A: yeah
M: it's okay to not go out...it's part of...you know...like, when people come over to our house and they bring a plant
A: yeah
M: you know it's like it's part of the new...house thing you do...it's the new couple thing to do. We sit down, when we have people for dinner, we make a big pot of spaghetti, cuz that's what you can afford, and that's like they come over for dinner...to be with us, not to eat our food
A: yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying...I...I mean, again,
I think that could be definitely like a cultural thing, different, I don't know, I mean, yeah, I would love to uh, uh say I would give Matt everything he can, because I don't want him to ever feel he can't have it, but if I don't have the f*ck*ng money
M: yeah
A: then I won't do it...he should understand that and I should understand that, and it should just be a given.
M: Yeah
A: I don't know, I mean like, honestly, you know, I feel like a lot of people have been very contradicting in what they say, and I'm sure I've been guilty of it, maybe, on occassions, I don't know...but I feel...you're right...I feel guilty for mentioning what I have, and I...
M: yup
A: It's not my, it's not my fault, on what I have, you what I'm saying?
M: no, you've earned it
A: I worked to get there, I shouldn't feel bad, like I would never, like I feel like I have to mention that I have debt just to, to, to relate to her
M: I know
A: and we all have debt, and we shouldn't have to bring that up to feel like we deserve it more than someone else...or we, don't have certain things, or, our family needs things, or, and I feel like I've had to do that on several occassions, and that's not something I would normally do, you know? that's what I'm saying, it's not gonna come down to me, for me, who deserves it more, I will vote for...who I want to...I will look at several things, and I'll vote on who I think should get it
M: mmh
A: of course not Janelle, but...but I think Ivette has figured out the only person, which we, we all know that, the only person, but I think that's why now she's now started to become Janelle's friend, you know, because she does feel at a disadvantage because she's HOH this week and she doesn't get to compete, so she's like, well, my only option is...she doesn't think she can win against us...
M: but, I'm sure she, she knows that Janelle sees that, Janelle's playing the game
A: yeah, do you understand? the other night, in the bathroom, which, janelle's playing the game...sat down, looked at me and said "there's only one person in this house that I hate" and I didn't even asked her who it was, and then later she mentioned it again, and I was like, well, if it's me I'm A-okay with that, you know? She goes..."Uh, hello! it's Ivette" and I was like, well you talk to her...
M: what she say?
A: UHH She said..."just because I talk to her doesn't mean I like her", that's what she said, something like that, it was something to that effect...
M: hmmmm
A: Ah...(nose picking pause) but now Janelle's playing the game, you know what I'm saying? like she is going to want to feel like...maybe now, I mean Howie is telling her, "they all think because you've never become friends with them you're never gonna win, so why don't you at least step it up and try the next...week"...(nose picking pause)
M: mmh
A: uum, I don't have a problem talking to her, I'll say hi, I'm not going to be rude, there's no need for me to be rude, but at the same time I'm not gonna...I don't find commonalities (ed. note: is that a word?) with her
to keep a conversation going...
M: yawns
A: I, I don't know, I don't know...I just know that people (ed. note: meaning Ivette?) are working on her, I can tell it, I can see it, I can feel it
M: yeah, I can feel it too (ed. note: meaning, Ivette and april?)
A: because I'm sure, you know? This show's pitch is Oh! 500thousand, it can change your life! you know, your family will be so proud of you!
M: yeah, yeah why would your family be not proud of you if you went for the money than if you went for people you've only known for ten weeks
A: (nodding her head) ye, yeah..(nose rubbing pause)
A: wouldn't a friend understand?
M: right
A: *rolling her eyes* I don't give a sh!t (both are smiling sarcastically)
M: NO! NO! my friends would not understand!
A: I'm like, I don't care if they don't understand, I just don't care because I know what I'm doing
M: No, and, it was pointed out to all three of us sitting here so many times earlier, you go against the friendship, your f*ck*ng vote is gone!...gone! wha?...even if it is you and Janelle in the end, you go against what has kept you in this house for ten f*ck*ng weeks and you are sh1tt1ng on everything that is created
A: Nodding quietly...sad...it would (ed. note: she prolly brown-stained her panties just now)
M: How much bad blood is that?
A: trust me, it would feel so...I would hate it to have to give a vote to Janelle...Oh my god! I would...Hate it
M: I know that!...but, what would you hate more?...it's your on people turning on you
A: Absolutely, that's why it hurt me so much that week, with you, I really thought you were, because you, you talked about it, I was like, mother of God, I didn't give a sh1t about the money, I didn't give a sh1t about staying in the house, it hurt me personally...it wasn't about the f*ck*ng game...
M: mmh yeah
A: I was just like...OMG, it was just crazy!
M: so, think about...what ocurred with me, and then think about what they're doing to...Ivette right now
A: yeah, no, I know...but, strong people don't...
M: that's right...
A: you know what I mean? it doesn't persuade your position or
M: that's right
A: But again, I think...Ivette said she came here strictly for...the money
M: I know that
A: You know what I'm saying? So...
M: So, are you supposed to turn your back on her if she does go for the money? whispers...ohhh God!
A: this is the deal..I've stuck to several, I've made several promises in this game, and I'm gonna stick to my promises...if, if she went against this, my promised was that she wouldn't get the money...
M: right
A: and I'm gonna stick to that promise. I feel like I've broken one promise in this game and it was that week that Jennifer was HOH...
M: mmh Me too
A: and
M: that's the one time I feel like I've broken my promise
A: yeah, and I'm not, I'm not gonna do it anymore.I felt like crap, it fricken bit my counterpart, I call her counterpart cuz that's what we call it in the field (?), it bit my friggen friend...did Ivette ever apologize for that? f*ck no!... did anyone...?...
M: She never got the credit for it. You, me and Jen did (shrugs shoulders)
A: so it was like...I just don't... I know ivette has a huge heart
M: Oh God yeah!
A: huuuuuge
M: no one debates that
A: huuuuge...you can tell she wants to save her family...
M: right, no one debates that...
A: but...you have to see, again, that money does not solve problems. Money, if anything, adds to problems, in my eyes it does, it can...and that's why (forehead pimple scratching pause) it's like don't, don't point out that my husband probably makes really good money cuz he's an investment banker. He f*ck*ng earned that position...
M:I know that...
A: he's paying over $50thousand in debt for schooling because of that, so just because he makes good money, doesn't mean he owns money...you know what I'm saying? like...
M: You don't have to explain that to me...
A: He deserves where his at in live, I deserve where I am in live...
M: so do I
A: like about my internship "gosh, you've been so fortunate"...I worked my a'hole for that internship, I prayed every night, I went above and beyond on my paper, on my interview, on my grade, it was like, it wasn't, nothing has ever been handed to me...nothing...just like I know nothing has been handed to you...umm, she admits that things have been handed to her throughout her life...I mean...my parents have never been...had...lots of money...ever...ever
M: nope
A: now, were we poor? no, but we've never had money to were we could just...like, I don't ever remember going to a movie when I was a kid, like, at the theater
M: movies...I don't think I went into movies
A: like, I would hear people talk about movies and I'be like, whu?
M: I remember going to see Star Wars at the theater, maybe in higshchool
(small town family nights movie talk from Maggie, how they couldn't buy treats so went to Baskin&Robbins after movie)
A: I don't know Maggie...
M:there's no right answer in this game, no matter what you do, someone's gonna see bad in it...
A: I just feel like every time anything is mentioned, it's like a competing debt, like I shouldn't have to throw out that I have debt, or you know...
M: I know...I've made it really clear one deserves more the money, but I've also talked about how you and me don't, haven't a face(?) with the money...
A: I don't think anyone deserves it more, it that what you've said?
M: I don't think anyone deserves it more...
A: Oh, I thought you said "I clearly have stated that someone deserves it more"
M: no, no...no one deserves it more than the other
A: and I'm even including Janelle in that...
M: She isn't got a face in that (?) she's never talked about deserving the...money more than anyone else...
A: another thing that confused me is that,last night when she was talking about the bidet, I said, so, you're saying you have a nice house, and she goes "yeah" then she goes "n'no... when we had money"...
M: yeah, yeah
A: like...which one is it...I just don't get it, I guess...I feel like, yes, I feel like I've had to, to...what sucks, is, in a way I feel like I've had to throw my debt out there to even f*ck*ng compete, which I shouldn't even have to do that...
M: no
A: and it sucks, and I'm not gonna do it again, cuz we all have debt, no one is friggen scott free, in this world, no American, you know, doesn't have debt...
M: right, right
A: and...I know for you, the day that you signed papers on your house, it was like, you were so proud of yourself, and I'm like, I'm not gonna sit here and not be proud of what I have, and what I own...
M: (weak) yeah
A: and I know you feel the same way, we shouldn't have to say we're sorry, or give it to someone because of it...
M: (weak)nope (silence)
M: I'll be right back...I'm gonna pee (ed. note: Thank you Lord!!!)
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