¡Ay, caramba! Fasten your seatbelts and plug your ears to avoid Gloria’s cackling, Modern Family shows us yet again, it is unlike any other comedy sitcom in history.
Phil and Claire are in bed, their slumber is interrupted by the phone ringing, Phil falls, Claire answers and so the drama begins. She then calls Mitchell, awaking Cameron from his nightmare with the news that Haley has been arrested for under-age drinking. Mitchell, Claire’s brother (an attorney offered to assist) while Cameron is offended, thinking Claire is resistant to him watching her two children at home. Cameron immediately goes for the jugular with insults to Mitchell regarding Claire’s behavior but Mitchell doesn’t bite. Next, Claire calls Jay and Gloria hoping Jay still has a judge connection. Alas, he does not, Gloria tells her to bribe the cops. Manny overhears, enters Gloria and Jay’s bedroom and offers wisdom and his parental advice.
Cameron is now in Claire and Phil’s home, singing as he cooks breakfast for Alex and Luke. As Alex and Luke come down for breakfast, Lilly confesses that Haley is in jail. Cameron has surprised them with FACON, which according to Mitchell is “FACKEN” disgusting. Luke is allergic to soy and off to the hospital they go.
Claire is in no hurry to rescue her daughter from the police station. She wants to make sure Haley has learned her lesson and believes letting her stew in jail is the most appropriate way to do so.
Manny has tickets to the festival. Gloria, who just woke up, is too tired to go and Jay would prefer to not go either. When the phone rings, it’s Jay’s ex-wife, Dede. This is, to my knowledge, our first meeting with her on screen. Jay has confesses that he is concerned over Gloria and Dede seeing each other yet again. Apparently, Dede has a pretty violent personality when it involves Gloria.
The environmental law lawyer, Mitchell, is not busy representing pandas in court today; he’s on his way to bail out Haley with Claire and Phil. Claire checks on Cameron as he checks Luke into the emergency room. He wants to make sure the kids made it to school, and Cameron doesn’t admit where they are or let on that there is anything to be concerned about. Mitchell is both arguing and admitting that possibly he’s over his head when they learn that Haley has been charged with resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer. Yikes!
Mitchell, Claire and Phil are shown the video of Hailey’s arrest. Luke enters the hospital room, wearing the gown backwards, which means front side exposed. Thank goodness he’s just a child. Interns doing rounds are shown the ropes by Alex. Who didn’t see that coming?
Finally Haley is released; looking haggard, admitting that although she didn’t intentionally assault an officer, she did indeed fall on the cop while climbing down a fire escape.
Phil is thinking about all of the Waffle Houses they passed on the way to the police station. Gloria comes home and Dede finds that Gloria is pregnant. Dede laughs with a cryptic, eerie, menacing cackle. Now we understand why Jay found Gloria’s laugh attractive, showing clearly, beyond a doubt, that Dede is a psychotic. She’s so thrilled because her uterus has fixed itself. Don’t ask. We’ve only known her on screen character a few moments and it’s painfully obvious why Jay and Dede are divorced.
Haley dresses for her disciplinary hearing looking like she’s auditioning for Catherine Zeta Jones’ role in "Chicago." Phil for the first time in the history of the show (as I know it) acts like a parent and not a friend and tells Hailey how disappointed he is in her. Claire then allows him to have a waffle; after all, we ARE talking about Phil. Somehow, Gloria and Dede are having a friendly conversation.
You know what is coming next, right? It is so predictable now that Dede and Gloria are friendly. Jay’s every flaw is aired out in the open. Manny enters and talks to Dede as if he’s her therapist; actually, that is who he is. Haley appears before the conduct board; she says she has no defense. She was drinking, she was underage, she states she’s sorry for the bad decisions she’s made, she admits she’s missed several morning classes, dated TA’s, and they tell her they appreciate her candor. She closes, saying, “Wild Cats,” but it is not their mascot. Whoops!
Luke is still in the hospital, and his parents still don’t know. Alex has now been admitted as well because she passed out while watching a C-Section. While the cackling continues, Jay defends himself as to why he wasn’t around to help with his older two children. He was making a living, living pay check to pay check, and states there will be plenty of time now for their new one because he’s financially secure.
Cameron, while driving everyone who’s missed school but been released from the hospital, finds out that Claire doesn’t have a lack of confidence about his parenting skills. Instead it’s actually his baking skills, and, he’s even more offended than he was originally. Honestly, even the viewer can tell they are both dense on the inside and firm on the outside.
Haley has been expelled, but she vows to buckle down. Her parents are calm and supportive, and assure her she that can reapply next year. When Haley arrives home she’s shocked to see that Alex has made adjustments to their shared room, one that Alex had all to herself for the last few months. As Luke hears them fighting he reminds Alex to calm down because Haley may have a shiv. The "Cosby Show" this is certainly not. What’s your take on all this? Come discuss it here.
