Fasten your seatbelt as Claire runs a stop sign (ironic?) while the cackling continues, Modern Family takes it to the next level, again.

I was at my neighborhood Christmas party when a discussion about Modern Family broke out. Yea, no exaggeration (miracle I know), literally a discussion of Modern Family broke out when skinny Cam appeared during the Texas game (who did they play again?) and I remembered that I had an episode DVR’d at home. Hurrah!

Gloria – The glamorous Latin angel is suffering from a case of forgetfulness brought on by pregnancy. Is that a real thing? I’ve had three children, and I don’t remember being forgetful, not at all.

Ummm, pretend you just didn’t read that.

Attentive Jay is obviously very concerned for her welfare, so he asks Claire to babysit and watch Gloria on a shopping excursion to a super warehouse mart. When Claire arrives, Jay tells Gloria she made the shopping date with Claire. Hmmm, classic gas light moment. Poor Gloria, she gets back at Jay by cackling because she forgot he was standing behind her.

Alex – Alex is a victim of unflattering Facebook photo shares at the hands of Haley. Apparently the photos of Alex have generated hundreds and hundreds of likes. She’s ready to get even. It’s the opportune time. Haley who’s never taken a bad picture in her lifetime, not even her arrest photos, is putting on her orange garb to do some community service roadside. With camera in hand, Alex captures shot after shot after shot, but every good amateur photographer knows, just like my mother always said when there’s a good sale “If one is good, two are better.” She positions herself for more shots over a storm drain surrounded by a large mud puddle.

Guess what happens next? I’ll give you one guess. Alex drops her camera in the storm drain, has mud splashed on her and trash thrown at her by a passing motorist. In a sincere act of the type of love only sisters can relate to, Haley posts to Facebook a not to be forgotten shot of a muddy Alex and it gets over 700 likes.

Phil – The tension between Phil and Jay comes to a head at a children’s, sports-themed birthday party. With Luke and Manny within earshot and eye shot, Jay sits at a picnic table with Phil’s friends and shares classic Phil, and the my wife Claire whipped husband moments as only Jay can. Phil gets tired of the abuse in a big way when they take it into a boxing ring, literally. Despite the massive inflated gloves, and I mean massive, Phil not only could not stop himself from hitting Jay, he did some real damage. Well, okay, not “real” in that Jay went to the hospital, but real enough where tough guy Jay needed an ice pack on his neck. Ouch. I honestly never saw that coming.

The Tree – Aw, a cat needs to be rescued from a tree. Wait! That’s Cam in a cat costume. Ohhh! He’s an understudy in the musical CATS. OK, I may not have ever seen Phil pummeling Jay coming, but yep, I did think one day, we’d find Cam in some type of predicament like this. And that is why Cam is Cam. On a side note, he is seriously shrinking. Eric Stonestreet, the actor who plays Cameron Tucker has lost quite a bit of weight. While Googling just how much weight he’s lost (with no luck) I did see that it’s rumored he’s dating Charlize Theron. If you Google Charlize Theron you’ll find that Wikipedia states her mother lawfully killed her father with a fire arm. Or is that what happened on Sons of Anarchy last Tuesday?

Cam ended up in the tree because obviously he was trying to save it, after all, that is the tree where he and Mitchell shared their first picnic in the shade. Mitchell takes one for the team and when Cam is called to duty, Uhh, I mean to Cats, he takes his place. Now that is love.

Claire– Claire like all good moms wants to normalize Haley’s behavior so she shop lifts an item while shopping with Gloria so they can do community service together. Claire doesn’t have the glamour mug shots Haley did though.

Got ya! No, that didn’t happen. Gloria’s cackling distracted Claire while they were shopping and Claire accidentally walked out of the store wearing a sweat jacket she was trying on. Gloria saved the day not once but twice. Firstly by faking her water breaking while Claire was being questioned by store security and secondly by faking labor when Claire is pulled over for blowing past a stop sign while rushing Gloria to the hospital.