What is the Persian nose business you ask? I have no clue but I do know that Asa is passionate about it, and she specializes in it. Apparently, it has to do with admiring Persian people with large noses, and it is serious business. The Shahs always find new ways to amaze me; I learn so much when I watch this show. Mostly, I learn about having a really high opinion of yourself, and about not being afraid to let everyone know just how great you think that you are. 

GG and MJ meet to have a doggie play date, and we learn that GG doesn’t remember any of her bad behavior from last week. She doesn’t remember anything she did, or Omid’s hands being up her dress, but she does remember every rude comment Asa made. Particularly the strange comment about Omid having a big nose, and how glad Asa was that he didn’t get a nose job. Little does she know that Asa was apparently dead serious about that, and that she wasn’t making fun of him. Oh of course, it all makes sense now. She wants to tell Asa how much she appreciates the blubber on her ass and that she’s glad she didn’t get liposuction, which is pretty much the same thing, I’ll give her that. MJ reminds her that they’ll soon come face to face at the big pool party, and I feel like I’m watching “90210.”

Lilly is a successful business woman. Just ask her and she’ll tell you she loves being herself. She’s smart, pretty, successful, and often thinks to herself, “I get to be Lilly Ghalichi and that’s pretty amazing.” Yes, she said that. Lilly went to law school and hated being a lawyer. She decided that since she’s pretty, skinny, and rich, she should start her own company. So she created “Swimgerie,” bikinis with a touch of lingerie sexiness. We see her at work with her employee, whom she calls “Fuffer-nutter, peanut butter, coochie lover.” When a model arrives we learn about crotch juice and how they use crotch liners to prevent ruining bikinis. One bikini someone tried on still has a liner attached and Lilly freaks out at the “crotch juice” because it may have AIDS on it. Eew! That really happened. 

At lunch with Reza, Lilly declares all of his friends (cast mates) alcoholics. She wants to give them all a ride to AA. She’s so mortified by the way they acted that she’s going to skip the pool party to avoid witnessing more bad behavior. She’ll re-meet them another time, when they’re going to act appropriate and not be partying. Reza too is mortified, embarrassed by the way they acted, but he loves them and isn’t offended by what Lilly thinks. He still loves her for being so skinny and still wants to wear her. 

Reza and Asa meet with a psychic, who gives Reza a generic reading that floors him. He’s so amazed that she read that he loves his family, and if he cheats on his partner he’ll be left broken-hearted. He is so amazed at how much she knows about him! I thought it was pretty odd that a well-known psychic would be using a regular deck of cards to tell his fortune, but her reading was so accurate. How’d she know he loves him family? That was so random. Once she leaves, Reza tells Asa he’s having a gay life crisis, and needs to decide if he wants to wear Daisy Dukes or flannels. Meaning, does he want to settle down or party? 

We meet Reza’s boyfriend, Adam, who Reza thinks lacks passion. Of course Reza likes him for two reasons despite his lack of passion: skinny and nice ass. What’s with him and being skinny? They go to a cooking class and Reza wows the class with his cooking skills. He does a great job and the teacher loves him. Adam kind of just stands there with a real lack of passion for cooking at least. 

At the party, as everyone arrives there’s a short scene between Reza and Mike. It seems like a little foreshadowing to me. Reza tells Mike that he should get out of commercial real estate, and instead partner with him and sell million dollar homes. He wants him to replace MJ, who, what else... lacks passion. Reza just wants to be surrounded by skinny, passionate people, is that too much to ask? I think it’s foreshadowing because MJ and Reza are on the verge of a major fight, and this may have something to do with it. Mike seemed interested at least. 

Asa, dressed like “Blossom” of course, sees Omid, dressed like the “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” and they try to make peace. Try. He apologizes for his comment about hitting the girls at the table, and admits it was wrong. He seems sincere and it could have easily ended. He had no intentions of bringing up anything about what Asa did in turn. GG, after drinking a bottle of whiskey, isn’t about to let it end there. She tells Asa that she was rude too, she called Omid loud (he was,) and made the nose comment. Asa is clueless because to her, the nose comment was genuine and thoughtful. She’s shocked that someone could take it the wrong way. 

At this point, MJ is at GG’s side, basically backing her up by confirming things that were in fact said. That’s not lost on Asa. She’ll have words for MJ once she deals with GG, who thinks that Asa is being dismissive - and it makes her blood boil. What Asa doesn’t understand is that GG once had a nose job, so she’s extra sensitive to that comment. She doesn’t get it, Asa was being sincere in loving Omid’s nose, because she’s invested in the “Persian nose business.” 

 How dare they take what she said as offensive! Asa meant exactly what she said. She loves his nose, and she was happy that he didn’t get a nose job. This woman is so clueless and wrapped up in her own self-proclaimed fabulousness. She really thinks that this wouldn’t be taken the wrong way or come across as rude. No, she really does believe that. It doesn’t even matter, what does matter is that Asa thinks that GG causes drama at every party (true.) If you’re going to tell GG that she causes drama, then GG is definitely about to cause drama. The earrings come off, and in a flash they’re in a physical fight. GG threatens to fuck her ass up about eight times, and she may get tossed like a salad. MJ tries to hold her back, but she’s so dumb she ends up falling backwards taking GG with her. As GG gets up, she grabs a chair and tries to hit Asa with it. Now we’re in “Jerry Springer” mode. Asa tells her she’s just a “toothpick in a wig,” and GG is taken away. 

Mike tells GG how drunk, absurd, and disgusting she is. GG feels disrespected, and tries to go back to fight Asa some more. Omid picks her up and takes her out of there. Asa just wants to play some basketball with the boys and ignore all the drama. She’s truly a guy’s-girl isn’t she? MJ approaches and Asa calls her out for being two-faced. She says she spoke to MJ ten times since the dinner and MJ was always on her side. Now, in front of other people, she’s against her. MJ tells Asa she doesn’t realize that she says mean things all the time. Everyone at this point is right about others, and wrong about themselves. 

Asa: Says rude things, is completely self-absorbed, and obnoxious. Is she right though about GG and MJ? GG does cause drama at every party, and MJ did change her story and take GG’s side. Asa however, is still delusional to think she wasn’t insulting Omid by complimenting his big nose. Whether she was sincere or not, girl needs a filter. 

GG: Causes drama at every party, is a drunken hot mess. She says Asa was rude and she definitely was, she’s right about that. She had every right to be offended. 

MJ: Says Asa is rude and mean, yes absolutely. MJ did speak to Asa ten times and never tell her that, only to tell her in the form of taking GG’s side in a fight. That’s not cool either.  

Next week, Reza and MJ will sadly get into a major fight. So what do you think? What’s worse, being a drunken drama queen, or saying mean things and claiming innocence? You decide,here