With an entire season dedicated to hating on Karent, who knew that Lea would be enemy number one? Karent got off easy tonight, with most of the drama stemming from feuds between Adriana and Joanna, Lea and Marysol, and most surprisingly Ana and Lea. Ana was relentless in bashing Lea, and although Andy’s ears weren’t bleeding like they would in New Jersey, this reunion is starting off strong.  

The first topic of the night was plastic surgery. Who’s had it? Well, everyone. Each lady raised their hand and confessed to some type of procedure; Lea with her face lift, Joanna and her “enhanced” breasts. Fillers, Botox, nose jobs, it’s a Miami thing. Viewers wanted to know about Mama Elsa’s botched plastic surgery, and apparently it all started with some bad injectables in the eighties. Andy wondered why Lisa’s husband Lenny couldn’t fix her up, and Lisa acted as if she was a lost cause due to her age. Poor Elsa, she’ll be in part two which means she’s backstage, fuming at this topic I’m sure.

Next Andy asks about Joanna and Romain’s relationship, showing clips of all the problems they had with the emails and possible cheating. After their engagement at the end of the season, they broke up. Joanna says her mother forced them to speak face to face and work it out, which they did, and they are back together. Adriana is quick to jump in accusing them of getting back together two days before the reunion for publicity.  Joanna accuses her of being jealous that she is in magazines. They’re no Brad and Angelina, and I don’t think they’re gracing the cover of “US Weekly” so I don’t think they’re doing things for publicity. Adriana just has it in for Joanna and will attack her at all costs; she even implies that Romain cheats all the time, as if she would know. Both Lea and Lisa are friends with both women and often get stuck in the middle, being forced to pick sides. For whatever reason, Lea can’t even talk about this without breaking down in tears because she picks the side that’s right in each argument. When asked about her relationship with her sister Marta, Adriana flips out at how Joanna loves animals, but treats her sister like shit. She’s a bully and tells Marta to shut up. Ana is sick of the word bully being thrown around inappropriately, she doesn’t think girls at cocktail parties should call what they do bullying, and Andy agrees. 

Karent and Rodolfo are no longer together. After the accusations in Bimini, Karent waited more than a week to even talk to him due to her father’s illness. She admits that her defense mechanism is her smile (finally) and so she used that to get through it. Ana calls Rodolfo the “Mexican Slade” as in Slade Smiley, meaning that his texts to her as well as his relationship with Karent were just to be relevant on the show. Lea is appalled at how the women breaking the news to Karent were in their glory watching her suffer. That was really only Alexia, who's not even there. She may also be speaking about Adriana and Ana, who we all know hated Karent. Ana is quick to say that Lea is now blowing sunshine up Karent’s ass, when she hated her and mocked her all along. Lea admits to making comments about her before she got to know her, but that she admitted that to Karent and they moved passed it. Ana asks Karent what flavor the “Lea Kool-Aid” is, and Lea says Ana doesn’t even know how to get divorced. Where did this fight come from? All of a sudden these two hate each other and are saying the nastiest things to each other. I really thought all season long, Karent is so in for this reunion. Instead Karent is like a little puppy that everyone is fighting over. 

This is the perfect time to talk about Lea and her backhanded compliments, “nice nasties,” and digs surrounded by laughter. Is her humor mean-spirited, is there truth in every little joke she makes? According to her, there may or may not be truth to them, but she does admit to making little digs. Everyone’s been a victim of her instigating, and even Lisa admits to having hurt feelings from Lea. Ana says she’s sick of her vanity in knowing celebrities, and that she never even heard of her so she’s no “Mayor of Miami.” Self-Made? Please, Ana doesn’t think so. Lea leaps off the couch in her own defense, and Ana tells her to be careful, she may break a hip. 

Marysol and Lea’s red carpet feud is old news, and Andy quickly gets sick of talking about it. Marysol has a valid point, Lea bashed her all season long and they never hashed it out. She trashed her business, and has ruined her reputation. She did to her what Marysol was accused of doing to Elaine, taking money out of her pocket. Marysol may avoid confrontation, but Lea didn’t give her much opportunity for one. Ana defends Marysol, as always, mostly because she wants to attack Lea anyway. Lea just wanted Marysol to take responsibility for what her company did, and Marysol is pissed that Lea hurt her reputation with her “big fucking mouth.” Ana calls Lea a fraud, and that she’s never done anything without the help of a man. Her best work was done on her back, and that’s when Lea threatens to expose Ana for who she is. What did that mean? Ana lays it all out, she went to school, got married, raised her kids, and that's it. Her daughters aren’t socially awkward, a comment obviously directed toward Lea’s son. That’s when I realize that Ana is going too far. She must know something awful about Lea to be this mean, making a subtle dig at her son is just wrong, tacky even. 

Now we move on to Joanna’s obvious drinking problem. What else is there to say? She drinks too much, and gets mean when she does. Next is another opportunity for Joanna and Adriana to argue, this time about racist tweets and comments. Joanna said Adriana was from the “slums of Brazil,” and Adriana called Joanna a “Polish immigrant.” Their arguing is really about nothing anymore, once it becomes about tweets, they’re just grasping at straws. 

More fighting and analyzing of this season to come, next week part two will conclude the season. What did you think of tonight’s reunion? One thing I noticed was that there were very few viewer questions, and I felt like Andy was barely there. Maybe the women had too much to say. My questions are: where did this Ana and Lea Black feud come from? What happened between them that turned Ana into this nasty below the belt warrior? Let me know what you think here