Looking at the Shahs, I’d think they were all in their thirties. Knowing the Shahs, I know that most of them are actually closer to forty. Watching the Shahs, I’d think they’re all tweens. With everyone fighting to be the prom queen to Reza’s prom king, GG’s abusive behavior is becoming the least of our problems.
Asa picks Reza up and they sing and dance like two girls on their way to a Miley Cyrus concert. It’s clear that they are getting along way too well, and that Asa’s premeditated plan to become the new BFF of Reza is working. OK, they haven’t shown anything about this premeditated plan I’m speaking of, but I know that’s what’s happening. Asa also mentions that she’s going to throw a concert for herself, to premiere the Persian Pop Princess like a coming out party. I’m so excited for that, I hope it’s as big of a train wreck as I imagine. It will be.
GG and MJ meet up, and the purpose is for Asa to arrive and for GG to apologize and make up with her. GG orders three appetizers and after a while they realize that Asa isn’t there. MJ finally figures out that Asa isn’t coming and leaves her a voicemail. GG doesn’t even get the opportunity to make things right, as she says, and I do feel for her. Sure she was wrong, she should never have touched Asa, and if Asa doesn’t want to talk to her again that’s her right. Asa, however, should have just not showed up. She should have never agreed to come in the first place. MJ explains why she uninvited her from her birthday, and GG finally gets it. So that’s one baby step.
Reza has Asa, MJ, and Mike over for mimosas and melon balls to give Mike an ultimatum. It’s either GG or him and Asa for this Mexico trip. They’ve drawn the line, and they’re not willing to compromise and give GG another chance. Either she goes, or they go. Mike is quick to give in and uninvite GG. He calls her and tells her on speaker phone, and she’s mad because she tried to apologize to Asa. She doesn’t understand why friends can’t put things in the past instead of excluding her. Mike feels bad of course, and I’m sad to see him stuck in the middle.
Well, I won’t be feeling bad for GG for too long. Now she’s meeting with her sister, with her father as the mediator, to work things out before her weave launch party. GG, however, is completely delusional in thinking that her sister owes her an apology, rather than the other way around. This is obviously the first time they are speaking since their last blow up. When the sister says three days after their last fight she gave birth, I’m pretty shocked. Her sister gave birth between the last fight and this lunch, and she’s still fuming at her demanding an apology? You’d think she would have put this aside when she went into labor, right? Whether she’s seen the baby or not, I don’t know, but it doesn’t seem like they’ve had a congratulatory get together at all. So, GG wants to make clear that this launch party is all about her, and that she has final say. It’s the biggest deal ever, and she demands respect and praise. Her sister wants to make sure GG is aware of the fact that she’s been working on this for a year without her, and the party is for the company, not GG. She doesn’t get to step in and take all the credit for this; she’s the celebrity spokesperson to put it best. GG is in charge of marketing and advertising, she’s not just a pretty face. All season long the argument was about how GG hasn’t done anything, and has pretty much just been a pretty face. She’s a pretty face that may slit your throat, but still, just a face.
The rest of the Shahs are headed to Cabo, including fired Shah Sammy, who was replaced by Lilly, who is also on the trip. That must suck, being fired from the show, and continuing to go to every event. I’m glad that Sammy is there, however, considering the fact that he always takes MJ’s side. Lilly announces that she doesn’t drink alcohol, and now I feel bad for her. That’s pretty much the point of the trip for everyone else, I know my Shahs. MJ is concerned about the giant stick up Lilly’s ass, and her contagious constipation face.
At the hotel, Lilly gives Asa some bikinis from her product line, and gives MJ some cover ups. She’s concerned about MJ always wearing unflattering clothes, and that was before she even saw her bathing suits. Luckily the tunic she gave her is beautiful and fits! The group is all drinking poolside, and Mike is on his way to being black out drunk. He disappears when the rest of the Shahs are ready for dinner. They bust into his room to find him sweating on his bed in a complete daze. He goes into the bathroom to throw up, but MJ finds him naked on the toilet moaning. She sees his “doodool tala” or golden penis, and is very impressed.
Since he is a lost cause, everyone else goes to dinner. It starts out really nice, and MJ becomes jealous of Asa as she licks the rim of Reza’s drink. She feels like she’s crashing their honeymoon, and I feel for her. She starts talking about her therapy session and how she has a vivid memory of her parents arguing over her mother’s infidelity. Lilly is intrigued and at first seems sincere. She’s happy to have a real honest conversation with MJ, and toasts to real talk. MJ, of course, ruins it. She goes on to call everyone at the table her friends, and looks at Lilly as she says “and acquaintances.” Lilly is quick to pick up on that little diss, but she wants MJ to know that she doesn’t care.
MJ goes on and on about her therapy session; she rambles. Asa is giggling. Between her and Lilly, they’re disrespecting MJ. Lilly keeps harping on the acquaintance comment, and Sammy comes to MJ’s defense claiming it was innocent to say that she doesn’t know her well, but is opening up to her. MJ asks if Asa and Reza have ever gotten a phone call from MJ about Lilly. Instead of saying no, Asa says she did call her a Chia Pet. MJ declares it a lie, and now they’re fighting. Asa is being a mega bitch these days, and it’s obvious she wants Reza to take her to the prom, and not MJ. Reza is giving in to it too; he’s not taking MJ’s side ever anymore. As Asa and MJ argue, Asa says that being with MJ is like going down the rabbit hole with Alice, and I guess MJ called her a Pop Pills Priestess or something like that. Asa tells MJ she shouldn’t talk about popping pills, because they all know she is the pill popper. MJ is furious now and calls her a bitch, which she is. Not to say that MJ may perhaps be a pill popper. I’ve always thought so, but it doesn’t even matter. Lilly says MJ took an Ambien that day, and so she is a pill popper.
Now MJ is so mad she’s in the bushes, and demands that Reza come and be on her side. Lilly is impressed by Asa’s calm demeanor, and Reza is mortified by everything that comes out of MJ’s mouth. In the end, Asa comes over and MJ tells her to go fuck herself.
Next week they go through MJ’s bag and find Valium. There is more drama and more high school behavior. GG might as well be planning her sweet sixteen rather than a weave launch party at this point. The drama never ends, all I know is that there will be a lot more fighting to come, and hurt feelings. What did you think? Were Lilly and Asa just setting MJ up to make her look bad? Let me know here.
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