They say the first step in fighting an addiction is to admit you are powerless over your addiction. I humbly stand before you, powerless, asking God to grant me serenity, because I am addicted to Big Brother UK.

So much TV, so little time since the start of The Bachelor (my Godson went to high school with Sean,) and The Biggest Loser (I’ve lost 125 lbs. so I’m passionate about the contestants.) However, my passion, my heart, and my time are dedicated to the adorable, always polite, drama-minimalists, the contestants of Big Brother UK.

Thank God for YouTube and for whoever first posted an episode and thank you whoever you are who figured out how to post full episodes. Having to watch ten minutes at a time was getting a little old. I did it, but it was getting old.

Today, I watched the live launch through day eight. I’m embarrassed to admit to exactly how many hours that equated. Fortunately, Big Brother UK is something I can watch the way most listen to a radio. My walk-in closet has power sockets so I launched the episodes while I cleaned my closet. Hurrah!

Initially, I took notes that lasted only a few minutes. I had so many notes on the adorable Italian Stallion-riding Frankie and the X-Factor winning, irrepressible Rylan that I immediately became mentally exhausted. So I took the easy way out and decided to relax, clean my closet (if you can call that relaxing, I’m a little bit of a freak that way I guess) and enjoy myself. I thought that if I feel like writing an article after, great! If not, and I just want to do something for fun, that is perfectly okay too.

I enjoyed it so much; naturally, I had to share with all of my fellow addicts. Lucky you!

Boo! Where is my Davina? If I’m ever picked for this show, I must meet her, but she wasn’t there. Instead there is a new host. I’m sure I’ll love him eventually. Davina will always be my first so I imagine it’s kind of like James Bond. They say whoever you see first in that role will always be the actor you consider James Bond.

The Twist – What I love about Big Brother UK compared to the American Big Brother we are used to, is that the contestants honestly get along pretty well because the audience decides who stays and who goes. Plus, after years of watching the show I’m convinced that the Brits are positively the most polite people on this earth because in order to keep things interesting they are continually introducing twists. This season is no exception. The twist is that only half of the contestants enter the house. The other half enters the basement.

The basement is a cruel, hard place where they rummage through rubbish to eat, they have no access to showers or hot water, and they make their own beds (not linens, they make their own beds, out of cots.) What is really cruel is that this is a Celebrity Season, so each cast member is a celebrity in their own right.

Naturally, a celebrity certainly didn’t sign up for that kind of hardship. If you can imagine the American Show Survivor held in a basement without access to fire or rice, that’s the BB UK basement.

A W E S O M E – Bravo producers!

The Celebrities – I have no idea who they are because I don’t live in the UK, but they are all amazing I’m sure. They are: an Italian jockey named Frankie, two reality show winners - Rylan and a busty brunette, two soap opera stars - a man from Australia who was in a show called Neighbors and a woman named Jillian, a model named Paula – she’s my favorite, a former footballer, a gorgeous young Scott, a platinum blonde named Claire who was the lead singer for a pop group called Steps and kind of looks like Deborah Harry from Blondie, and Speidi (more about that later.)

Twelve celebs in all are introduced in pairs. Frankie, another of my favorites, and Rylan are brought out first. They are told that they will be the deciders on who goes to the basement and who lives in the luxury of the Big Brother house. The first pair is two women. Paula, the model is sent to the basement. She reminds me of Lauren Bacall. The rest arrive in male/female pairs and each man is sent to the basement. Frankie and Rylan are true gents. Then the final pair is announced, a married couple who will play as one person, and it’s (I so wish I could pause for a commercial break to keep up the suspense) Speidi.



Yes, you heard me, Heidi and Spencer. After I picked myself up from the floor and recovered from the shock, I thought to myself, and this is why I love this show!

Guess where they are staying?

Discuss this and more in Joker's Celebrity Big Brother UK Forum.