Speidi's lips are sealed – they are on strike!
Believe it or not, Heidi and Spencer love the basement. They weren’t obvious, they get along with everyone, they don’t fight, they don’t yell, they don’t scream – wait, ohhh I forgot, this is Celebrity Big Brother UK, no one is yelling, or screaming, karate chopping, crying, protesting, yes, after all, they are human.
Welcome to the Basement Speidi. There is an American commercial for a spray that promises to make the grossest locations smell like roses, ummm, that is what the basement looks like, but I don’t think the contestants were given the spray to make it smell like roses.
It’s cold, it’s miserable, but they are all in it together and that’s exactly how the basement contestants behaved.
Model Paula (I think she’s 50) gets sick and the show doctor mandates that she leaves the basement. Aw, even Brit doctors are polite.
We approach the end of day one; the houseguests in the luxury house love each other. Claire is cooking up a storm, they are drinking and enjoying and having a grand old time.
Even the houseguests in the basement love each other. I swear they do! Hey, I wouldn’t lie to you, a fellow addict. I know what it’s like to live with addiction.
The Big Brother mystery voice (he’s still there – I was worried he left with Davina) comes on and says the luxury guest need to select a member to go to the basement.
Now in America, this would have meant some serious drama, but these are the get along Brits, so Rylan and Frankie, since they are men, are the only two even considered. Frankie happily goes down.
No, really, honest! He’s happy to be a gent and go.
From the basement, Frankie gets to choose someone to go up to the luxury of the house. Everyone has a moment to plead their case, and guess what; all of them choose the footballer. They say he needs a big bed, he needs real food he…ummm, what about Speidi you ask? I’m telling you, E V E R Y O N E chooses the footballer.
Oh come on, I have better things to do with my time than lie. Speidi said they were happy in the basement without showers, suitcases, underwear, and I’m not being sarcastic.
But the choice isn’t up to the housemates, it’s up to Frankie and Frankie sends Speidi up.
Yes, you read correctly.
Why? Well because, Frankie didn’t want a lady in the basement, and Speidi was a package deal. So as Speidi leave they tell everyone they love them, and that they are awesome and that they’ve never met more amazing people in their entire lives.
No really. I swear.
Now, Spencer is still Spencer, he’s still saying snarky things when he’s alone in front of a camera with Heidi, but here’s the thing I never expected. It may be all in the editing, but the guy Spencer is when he’s alone and unfiltered, is completely different than who he is when he’s with the group, so the question I have is, is Spencer softened by the Brits, or is he villainized because that was the way to fame?
I love the Brits, but I’m beginning to think he was villainized, and no, I did not drink liquor while cleaning my closet.
Since Spencer is still Spencer, there were opportunities where Speidi could have socialized with the group prior to being sent up into luxury and each time they chose not to do so, even when they were asked to unblock filth-filled pipes to give both abodes hot water (thankfully our Australian soap star did it.) With that said, Brits are not stupid. Even though in BB UK they cannot discuss nominations, guess who everyone nominated (a Big Brother record?) But that’s a quick flash-forward. More about that is coming.
Speidi wakes up their first morning in luxury and tries to cook breakfast but there is no electricity. We find out that if two basement housemates trudge through oil muck, that electricity will be restored. Since Speidi isn’t in the basement anymore, naturally, Frankie and the Scot agree to turn back on the power by doing the task.
Nominations – the Big Brother mystery voice tells the basement housemates that one of them will need to step up and volunteer to be nominated. Frankie does (aw, Frankie, I knew you’d make us Italians proud) and because he sacrificed himself, everyone in the basement is allowed to move upstairs. Hurrah!
Nominations continue and many are nominated (because they can’t talk about nominations) but Speidi is nominated by everyone, a Big Brother record. Who saw that coming? Sadly, Paula is nominated by four people so it will be Frankie (my favorite man,) Paula (my favorite woman,) and Speidi (whom I love love-love as well.) It’s a lose-lose situation for me but I can’t turn off YouTube because it’s an addiction.
Poor me! My closet looks amazing though.
Challenges continue but there is very little drama, because this is Big Brother UK. Everyone works as a team. Everyone is a part of one unit. If you’re evicted they cry and wail and tell you how much they will miss their new BFF.
One of the group competitions involves passing food from one person’s mouth to another. Heidi has a mild nervous breakdown because Spencer will not be receiving the food from her, but passing it to a woman named Lacey.
She goes into the Diary Room and asks Big Brother to change the order. They decline. She threatens to not play, and Spencer says he’ll intentionally throw the comp. (Hey, now this is the Speidi I thought I’d see.) However, in the next scene, Heidi is passing a bull's penis to Spencer who is passing it to Lacey.
Heidi really took one for the team. She was the first in line and the stuff she had to carry in her mouth…OMG! I can’t believe it! One was represented as being a bag of vomit (I’m sure it wasn’t, but I’m also sure it smelled like it was.) We see a shot where Spencer throws-up at the table and keeps going!
Who are these two? It really has me wondering about the press. We are led to believe that the Brit press is obnoxious, abusive, thrill-seekers, but Speidi are represented so well on the show that I’m honestly thinking the American press has led us astray.
Case in point, there was a challenge where the housemates needed to pass a ping pong ball by mouth in teams to a glass container. Speidi said, “No,” because the partners were random. And get this. Are you sitting down?
No really, sit down for this one; I can’t have anyone fainting at home.
The entire house, everyone (E V E R Y O N E) supports them and tells the Big Brother voice that they are in the wrong to ask a married couple to go against their vows.
Speidi were honestly touched and they said that they had family members who would not have stood-up for them in that way.
The First Eviction – Sadly, our first eviction was glam Paula. I’m sending air-kisses to Paula. Love you! Miss you already!
The Twist – In true Big Brother UK form, Speidi was offered a deal no one can refuse; to convince the house they are ‘walking’ because they were nominated by all, and they couldn’t spend another minute with them. In exchange, they’d be back in the basement, but it would be ‘pimped-out’ just for them and they’d be immune from nominations if no one caught on it was a game.
Good luck Speidi. I’m your biggest fan.
Discuss this and more in Joker's Celebrity Big Brother UK Forum.
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