We interrupt tonight’s “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” to bring you a Suzanne Summers’ infomercial about looking and feeling younger through healthy eating and sex. Her co-host is Miss Perfect, herself: Yolanda. Is anyone else getting sick of this obviously for camera facade with Yolanda? Among the other women I do like her. She’s got strong opinions, and usually I agree with her. But at home, she’s doing too much to show us how perfect her life is, who gave her “housewives” advice, Teresa Guidice?
It really did seem like an infomercial; Suzanne Summers sitting around with some women of a certain age, discussing healthy eating, vitamins, hormones, and Lisa’s favorite subject, sex. Do you want to live to be 110 years-old, like Suzanne, and still look 40? Simply take a bag of supplements every day and eat like Yolanda. When Yolanda isn’t bragging about her perfect lifestyle, her friends or family are doing it for her. Suzanne Summers boasts about Yolanda’s perfect aesthetic appearance, and how her wedding was the most beautiful event she’s ever attended. Lisa is made to feel uncomfortable, as usual, as she jokes about her lack of a sex life with Ken: “No sex and no swallowing - pills, no swallowing pills.”
Brandi takes a pole-dancing class to prepare for her trip to Vegas; she wants to look like she knows what she’s doing. She looks like a natural, she immediately has major skills. Kyle is having a graduation party for her daughter Sophia, and since Brandi is too busy pole dancing, it’s safe for Adrienne and Paul to come out and play. Despite what Brandi said about Adrienne and Paul being way too personal for TV, I’d also be pissed if I was Adrienne for ruining the season for her. She’s barely been on the show ever since the comment was made; she’s been reduced to a background player. Even Faye has been on it more. Speaking of Faye, she’s at the party and Adrienne and Paul are grateful for her attack on Brandi. Faye doesn’t tolerate people who “stab you in the heart,” and just say sorry. Kyle is relieved when Adrienne and Paul leave, innocently of course. She didn’t want her daughter’s party to turn into the bitch about Brandi show, which it did. That’s understandable; this is the Kyle show after all.
Kim wasn’t at Kyle’s party. She’s too busy looking at pictures of herself while her houseboy hangs them. Looking at the pictures makes her think about her body changing, this makes her think about getting plastic surgery. She just wanted something done, anything. The plastic surgeon (who’s not Paul,) said no to getting her eyes lifted, and no to a facelift. A nose job, sure. She settled for a nose job. Looking at Kim I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her nose at all. It seems like she’s doing it just to do it.
Everyone’s packing for Vegas. Marisa is packing with the help of her mom, who begs her not to pack all of her clothes which are ugly. She pleads for her not to pack each thing that makes her look like she’s from the boondocks; everything looks like it’s from a second hand store. Lisa’s also packing, and she doesn’t even really know what she’s going to. Ken wants to know how an event for empowering women involves stripping. Good question.
Let’s talk about Brandi’s friend Jen for a moment. Jen is always seen with Brandi since the beginning, she’s obviously her BFF, and as Brandi says she’s like her husband. If you’ve ever watched “Celebrity Rehab” or “Sober House,” you know that Jen was a counselor on both of those shows. She battled celebrity addicts and is a recovering addict herself. From watching those shows, I know that Jen is a bold, awesome, often loud person. Seeing her on this show always brings me down because they never let her speak. Every time they show her on camera it looks like she just finished saying something and it was cut out. Why can’t Jen be a part of the show?
Brandi and her mute husband Jen are in Vegas with Kyle, Lisa, Camille, and Marisa. Kim’s too busy getting her nose done, and Yolanda has to make chicken for her husband. They have a nice dinner together, where Brandi can’t order wine properly and everyone actually gets along. Brandi opens up about her divorce, and her and Kyle bond over they’re tumultuous relationship. They also bond over Brandi force feeding Kyle an oyster, which was really gross. Brandi calls-out Marisa for the way she talked to and about her husband last week. She clears it all up saying that it’s just misunderstood banter. So she does love her husband after all.
They also spend a lot of time making fun of Leann Rimes which I enjoyed. She copies everything about Brandi from clothes, to bags, to husbands. Camille definitely identifies with Brandi the most with what she’s gone through in her divorce. Kyle can’t imagine what it must be like. They ask Camille what her sex life was like with Kelsey, which always seems to come up. Camille assures us that she lost it, but she found it, and it’s working better than ever. Lisa on the other hand doesn’t want it.
Before Yolanda takes the trip to Vegas she has to cook dinner for her husband. It’s so important to cook for your husband, treat him like a king, and have a perfect marriage. Never spend two weeks apart, and don’t get divorced like her dear friends Heidi Klum and Seal. I’m convinced she was put on this show to name drop.
The next morning Yolanda’s in Vegas with the girls and they head over to rehearse Brandi’s class. No one, not even Brandi knows what the hell this empowering women thing really is. She tries to practice public speaking and fails miserably. She does however pole dance like a pro.
Next week there’s a dinner party fight. Yay, Camille’s yelling at Yolanda. Uh oh, Camille’s being nasty to Lisa. I may or may not enjoy this then. What did you think? Are you convinced that Yolanda is perfect, or is she the only one?
Let me know here.
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