You would think that one little fight from last season wouldn’t have much impact on this one. Well what if I told you that we’re up to episode 12 and it’s still the only source of drama? I mean major drama, like lawsuit drama. It all started when sweet little Lisa made a joke about Adrienne’s shoe line, calling it “Maloof’s Hoofs.” Hilarious, right? Because of that comment Adrienne decided to bring down Lisa at the reunion show, and tried to bring Camille and Brandi in on it, among others I’m sure. Brandi wouldn’t go along with it. Adrienne didn’t like that, and that formed the alliance of Brandi and Lisa. Adrienne and Paul supposedly threatened Brandi and were mean to her; Brandi got so fed up she dropped the bomb about Adrienne using a surrogate for her twins, proving that she’s a liar. Adrienne then drops off the face of the earth, not before suing Brandi. Everyone picks sides, and decides that it’s their battle to fight. You’re either team Adrienne, or team Brandi. On team Adrienne, we have Kyle, Taylor, Kim, Camille, and the immoral Faye Resnick. On team Brandi we have Lisa, Brandi, and Yolanda as an alternate. As ancient as this whole fight may seem, we’re still fighting about it and finding new ways to keep it going.
This “empowering women” pole dancing class is very confusing. Not just because it’s about empowering women by pole dancing, but also because the only people there are our housewives. Maybe it was a practice run, but we never see the actual class so we don’t really get to see the reason why they’re in Vegas. Marisa started out as a fun and bubbly girl that Brandi could be friends with, but two episodes in and she’s turned. Now she’s bitching and acting offended by the class, empowering women should be about having successful careers, not pole dancing. I can’t say I disagree; I’m just surprised by Marisa and what I thought I knew about her so far. Everyone tries out the poles, and Lisa’s pretty good. Marisa claims she’s never sexy, and when she got up there all the ladies ignored her and talked amongst themselves. I guess they, like us, aren’t sure if Marisa is on the show or not. Yolanda acts like she’s there to have fun and not take herself too seriously. That is until they tell her to slap her own ass and she proclaims that she has three children, so how dare they ask her to do something so beneath her.
Kim calls Kyle while she’s in the limo with all the girls. She tells her that she’s thinking about getting a nose job, like umm today. What? She’s scheduled to go have the surgery, but she’s not sure if she wants to, it’s just a thought. Everyone’s shocked, and Kyle doesn’t think it’s a good idea, obviously. Kim doesn’t need a nose job first of all, and secondly she’s recently sober, should she really be on pain meds? All the ladies are harping on it and asking Kyle a lot of questions, and Kyle brushes it off as Yolanda says. Yolanda’s interviews really have it in for Kyle, making me like her even more. She’s good at pointing out all her flaws, something I too take pride in.
Kim has her surgery, and they made it seem like she was alone. She had her assistant with her, but it was kind of sad when she was in recovery and no one was there. It was a success, and I’m sure she looks beautiful. I still don’t think she needed it, but from the looks of it when she was at home and Kyle visited her at the end of the episode, she looked great. For all the worry about her taking pain meds, she didn’t even take anything, so there.
Let’s all have a nice relaxing dinner to end this trip, shall we? No? OK, let’s have a big dramatic fight instead. The ladies have a beautiful set up in Brandi’s hotel room. There goes Marisa spilling red wine all over her dress, and insisting that the trick to getting red wine out of fabric is by pouring white wine all over it. Where’d she hear that dumb idea from? Oh, Barbara Streisand of course. This is the second time Barbara Streisand’s name has been dropped on this show. The dinner starts out civil, at first everyone is concerned for Kim and the pain meds ordeal, but we already know how that ends. They consult Jen, who as I told you last week was the main counselor on “Celebrity Rehab” and is a recovering addict. She thinks that they probably would have advised Kim to wait a while before getting the surgery, since she hasn’t been sober too long. Kyle really doesn’t want to talk about it; she wants to talk about Adrienne.
Whatever possessed Camille to bring it up, we’ll never know. First of all, Camille has been on this season more than she was last season, and she’s not even on the show anymore. In fact, she’s been on it much more than Taylor, who pretty much no longer exists. Camille blurts out randomly that she feels bad that Adrienne isn’t there. Brandi says that she likes Adrienne, but because she disagreed with her about something she got sued, and it’s gotten ugly. Everyone, even me, knows that she’s not being sued because of what happened at the reunion, it’s because of what she said a few weeks ago. To be honest, she’s not even being sued, she just received a cease and desist letter. Now Brandi feels like blaming it all on the reunion show fiasco. She has Jen confirm her story about the dreaded phone call. Now she adds details about her calling Camille, and Camille saying to just do what you want and don’t go along with it. She implies heavily that Camille was going along with Adrienne, and Lisa looks at Camille like it’s her chance to finally confront her on it. Camille denies everything; she never knew about the Lisa part, she thought Brandi was calling because she was nervous about the reunion in general. Brandi insists that Camille knew everything. Camille goes into fight mode, which is Camille at her best. Her dramatic acting style comes out, and she says “I can handle you, but I won’t stand for it, excuse me. Stop lying.” She gets up, exits stage left. Perfection.
Kyle brings Camille back in, and she’s furious that Brandi is putting words in her mouth, throwing her under the bus, and putting her on the spot. She says that her perception of what happened is different than Brandi’s. Brandi does what she always does when she’s backed into a corner, blurts out an inappropriate fact about another cast member. Well first, Camille tells Lisa that Adrienne was upset about Lisa not using “The Palms” for her daughter’s bachelorette party last season, and that’s what triggered the initial fight. Old news. OK, so now Brandi can’t help herself, and says that Adrienne only owns 2% of “The Palms,” so who cares? Everyone is so offended; the girl went and dropped another bomb. Camille and Kyle both fly off the handle. Oh, I’m so into Camille’s bitch mode that I forgot to mention that Kyle’s been ranting and raving defending Adrienne the whole time. So Brandi’s proud of herself for saying this stupid fact, the “elephant in the room” like it’s a bad thing, or embarrassing. Camille tries to compare it to Lisa, who she now claims doesn’t own “Sur.” She says she owns 51%, and Camille calls her just a figurehead.
All Brandi can really say during the entire argument, is what she always says, “she’s suing me.” Camille’s comparison doesn’t go over well, and Lisa is offended that Kyle won’t defend her as hardcore as she defends Adrienne. Yolanda is consuming all this info to ask a great question, why are you fighting someone else’s battle? She’s got it in for Kyle, like I said. Camille starts screaming at Yolanda and she brilliantly tells her, “Shhhh.” She throws down in her interview, saying that Kyle loves drama. Yes! Then Yolanda steps it up even more, and becomes my hero. As everyone is screaming and making fools of themselves (not Lisa of course,) Yolanda simply stands up and says she’s leaving. She’s got a private jet waiting for her, she’s done, goodnight.
In the end, Lisa is hurt that Kyle has no loyalty for her; it’s been chipped away over the years, or seasons. Camille heard she doesn’t own “Sur?” Well, she’s heard that Camille’s a silly cow. What’s the difference? Kyle is oblivious to everything; she still thinks she’s perfect, like the best wife, sister, and friend anyone could have. She doesn’t see herself, and next week she and Lisa will finally have it out. Adrienne and Brandi will also have it out, and Taylor’s face was there.
What did you think? I’m not picking sides, because I loved Camille’s bitch mode, love Lisa always, and love Yolanda’s subtle dominance. Kyle, not so much. Brandi, well I like her but enough already, we get it. Adrienne, I don’t dislike her at all, and I feel bad that she’s taken a step back from the show. As for tonight’s fight, do you see Yolanda as the new voice of reason like I do? Let me know here. And trust me, Kim nose best.
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