Mo parties, mo problems! Especially when sweet little Kyle is the host. Well actually it doesn’t really matter who is the host, it’s the guest that counts. Brandi has been all over my television promoting her new book “Drinking and Tweeting,” as well as all over my magazines trashing her ex-husband and LeAnn Rimes, as usual. But in Housewives land, all the drama lies with Brandi’s feud with Adrienne and Paul. Oh, Adrienne’s been all over the press herself for dating 20+ year younger Sean Stewart, the son of Rod Stewart. Sean is most famous for his stint on “Celebrity Rehab,” and the six degrees of separation between the two shows grows more alarming. Here’s yet another six degrees-style eerie coincidence, Rod Stewart’s wife, Penny Lancaster is being named as Taylor Armstrong’s likeliest replacement for next season. Adrienne's apparently out too.
Kim hosts a nose-reveal party, and considers it to also be a party to thank everyone for supporting her during her sobriety. Kyle walks in with Faye, and I have the realization that she’s just whoring her around to try to get her on the show. Is Faye blackmailing Kyle for a spot on the Housewives? She must be, or maybe Kyle really feels the need for back-up, which I can’t blame her for. Once Kyle has arrived, Kim receives a phone call from Taylor, excusing herself from coming to the party. She sounds out of it, as they point out; says she’s fallen in love over the last 48 hours and is being whisked away to Beaver Creek on a private plane as we speak. Is Beaver Creek a euphemism? Kim is particularly concerned, and that’s usually a red flag for big trouble. I mean if Kim Richards thinks you have a problem, contact Dr. Drew immediately. Kyle asks Taylor if this means she should just keep taking care of Kennedy, and Taylor has no idea that Kennedy is even with her. “Oh she’s with you?” What? Where did she think her child was? What a lunatic, she really does need help. Now the Richards' sisters are freaking, and they tell Adrienne and Marisa what just happened. Marisa says that she’s most worried about the fact that Kennedy is always with Kyle, and stays at her house way too much. Kyle defends Taylor, saying that Kennedy has more fun being around a lot of kids, but Marisa thinks it’s so that Taylor can run around and do whatever she wants. Kim wonders “is she safe?” Who the hell knows what’s going on with her?
What starts out innocent, as Adrienne jokes with Kim about not using Paul as her surgeon, turns into something more. Not only does she say it three times, but she tells Kim’s doctor that her husband is “the best.” Nice Adrienne. Maybe she’s just socially awkward, she is just that rich. Kim’s nose looks great and she shows it off in a big reveal, as Adrienne looks at her watch.
Adrienne is at home with her kids playing in the pool when they all realize that the house next door is on fire. It’s Lisa’s old house and it’s up in flames. Adrienne freaks out and puts her kids in the car, but Paul doesn’t want to leave. He tells her that the street’s blocked off, and she’s frantically acting like she’s in an action movie. She says that Paul is an idiot for not choosing to be with his family at a time like this, but he just wanted to take pictures of the fire and watch the action.
Kyle’s preparing for the party, and is unhappy about the decorations thus far. Adrienne and Paul are getting ready and getting in their limo, and they’re planning on having a good time and ignoring Brandi’s bad karma. In the car, Paul wonders what the hell Brandi’s talking about with the lawyer’s letter, and Adrienne says that Karma’s a head nod, because once you’re that rich you don’t use bad language of course. Brandi meanwhile has so much anxiety about seeing Paul, and is basically a deer in headlights the entire night. Adrienne and Paul joke about how much plastic surgery Brandi has despite the fact that she can’t afford a lawyer.
When Lisa shows up to the party, she calls Adrienne out for ruining yet another piece of her furniture. She says that Adrienne once ruined her couch by leaving a huge brown stain on it, and she went and did it again at the tea party, ruining the chair. Why it’s from self-tanner of course. Adrienne is not apologetic in the least, and later admits that she saw the stain when she got up to leave the tea party. How classless.
Taylor and Kim meet up at the party and talk about the private jet fling that Taylor went on. Well it turned out to be a three day affair, and all I can think about is her daughter staying with Kyle all that time. Kim is more concerned than ever, and can’t believe that Taylor is telling her how great it was and being so casual. She would have expected her to be apologetic, or have some sort of explanation. Kim, you’re in crazy town, doesn't it feel familiar?
Brandi is on the verge of a panic attack and has to go inside to have some alone time with her friends. She doesn’t want to ruin the party, and Lisa had given her the advice that she should pull Adrienne aside and talk to her alone. Instead, Brandi goes the eighth grade route, and has her friend go summon Adrienne, saying that Brandi wants to talk to her. Paul is hot and bothered, and refuses to let Adrienne go alone. He is, after all, the greatest lover of drama in all of Beverly Hills. Lisa has so many snarky comments for Adrienne, this time saying that if it’s a battle of wits, Adrienne is unarmed.
At the confrontation that doesn’t want to be one, Brandi starts out saying she liked Paul and Adrienne and doesn’t want all this fighting. The whole letter issue comes up, and they both swear there’s no letter. Brandi wonders than why she had to hire a lawyer, and Adrienne says that she too had to hire a lawyer. Well you didn’t, you chose too. I’m not saying that Paul and Adrienne didn’t have the right to. I may like Brandi, but at the same time I feel like Paul and Adrienne can do whatever they want. Paul wants to know what Brandi’s problem with them was to begin with. She says that Adrienne called her trash, “To your face?” No Adrienne, it’s never to anyone’s face, and Brandi says she uses lawyers and Bernie to do her dirty work. These two can’t handle anyone ever putting down their chef. Brandi pulls a bunch of papers out of her bag, all different things about Bernie and “Radar Online.” She was told that he was selling stories to them, and Paul is willing to read everything and becomes concerned about it being true. Like I said last week, Paul is suing Bernie currently for blackmail, and so he should have listened to Brandi.
Lisa likes Brandi as much as she dislikes Adrienne. She’s in Kyle’s ear about what hypocrites Paul and Adrienne are because of last year’s white party when they insisted that Taylor and Russell leave the party because they sent Camille a letter threatening to sue. They had said then that friends don’t sue friends, or even threaten to, and yet here they are. Is Brandi that good of a friend though? Lisa’s so desperate to make them look bad; she calls for Taylor to confirm the hypocrisy. When you’re relying on Taylor to back you up, you need to reassess. Lisa even tells Kyle that she should ask them to leave and say “rules are rules.” Vanderpump Rules that is, right Lisa?
OK, finally some truth being revealed. There was a meeting that Brandi was supposed to attend to agree to stop talking about Paul and Adrienne, and if she didn’t show up she would then be sued. Paul says that yes there was contact. Finally! Thank you Paul, Adrienne’s relying too heavily on the way questions are worded and the way she answers them, it’s all bullshit. She even in the end says that no legal action was taken, what’s defined as legal action? Come on, did she go to law school herself?
A little progress was being made, and both parties had calmed down. Then enter the Vanderpumps, the Richards, Faye, and whoever else wanted in on the drama. Ken is there to step in and defend Brandi. He says that friends don’t sue friends, and that he could have sued them because of Bernie. Don’t mention Bernie if you know what’s good for you, Ken. He says that Adrienne accused Lisa of selling stories, and it hurt his business. Paul says that the “Maloof’s hoofs” comment affected theirs, and Ken thinks it probably helped. That shoe line actually came out? They all beg Paul to acknowledge the similarity between this and Russell and Taylor last season, but Paul doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter. Taylor’s friend Dwight makes a comment and Paul tells him to buzz off. Ken asks Paul to help pay for Brandi’s bills and Paul wonders when Ken became Brandi’s father, or boyfriend, whichever. Kyle doesn’t want anyone being attacked at the white party, and it’s left unsettled. Had everyone left them alone, something may have been accomplished, but it was still nice for Brandi to have some back-up in Ken and Lisa.
Brandi’s never going to get anywhere constantly complaining about the legal fees and being a single mom. When Paul said that Brandi should watch what she says if she’s so concerned about legal fees, I couldn’t help but agree. Sure they’re rich and can use legal action instead of a good old fist fight, but that should make you extra careful about what you say. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time Brandi, sorry. Despite being mostly on Brandi’s side all season, she had no right to say what she said, and she shouldn’t have expected to get away with it. She makes plenty of money on this show, so I can’t feel too bad for her.
What’d you think, should Brandi be excused because she can’t afford legal fees? Should Paul and Adrienne have taken legal action despite saying friends don’t sue friends?
Let me know your thoughts here.
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