Before we go over this episode, I have to say that the preview for this season looks fantastic. I’m so excited for it! Orange County has bored me in the past, but they definitely have the perfect mix of Housewives that were never meant to be friends, to truly bring some excellent drama. 

We start off with Vicki and her new face. She had a chin implant and some other work done, broke up with Brooks, and is about to become a grandmother. With Don and Michael gone, Brianna is moving back into the house with her husband, and is about to go into labor.  

Heather is planning the first event of the season, a Clam Bake. What’s important about this scene, and the only thing that’s important, is that Alexis is not invited. Heather is not ashamed to admit that she can’t stand Alexis, and neither can I. 

Tamra has moved in with Eddie, and unfortunately found out the hard way just how controlling he is. Controlling in that he wants the kids to turn out the lights when they leave the room; stuff like that. She promised herself to never let a man control her again, so we’ll have to wait and see if Eddie’s OCD is a strain on their engagement. 

Brianna goes into labor, and after hours and hours waiting, she gets an emergency C-section. Baby Troy is here, and he’s adorable. Vicki can’t believe she’s a grandmother. She only called Heather, who passes the info on to Gretchen and Tamra. Tamra and Vicki haven’t spoken in seven months, since the reunion. Apparently Vicki wrote Tamra an email accusing her of in fact giving her the evil eye. She also said that Eddie would break up with Tamra, harsh words like that. Their friendship is obsolete; too bad they’ll both be at the damn Clam Bake. On to the topic of Alexis, Gretchen and Tamra can’t stand her either, of course. They go back to her accusations of them being bullies for what happened last season in Costa Rica. Gretchen thinks that calling them a bully is just a way to garner sympathy with bullying being a hot topic. Too bad kids in high school committing suicide are no comparison to Alexis crying at the dinner table. They were trying to help her with her bragging ways. 

Speaking of bragging, Alexis begins the season telling us how big her new home is. She and Jim have never been better. Blah blah blah! She’s been so stressed out decorating, and she’s given up her fashion business and her Fox News job. At the last reunion it was made clear that she was fired the day filming stopped, something she of course denies. She found about the Clam Bake, and is happy she’s not invited. Unless the other women are willing to apologize, she wants nothing to do with them. Silly Alexis, you’ll be back in the mix soon enough. 

On the way to the Clam Bake, Tamra and Alexis are dressed up like the Double-Bitch Twins in their red tops and white pants. Double your blonde, does not double your fun. They make catty jokes about Vicki’s facelift, when the truth is both girls are terrified to come face to face with Vicki’s new face. Tamra acts like the mean girl in charge, but we all know that Vicki is the number one mean girl of Bravo. Vicki’s also on her way, scared as well because she’s going alone. Once they get there, they call bullshit on Vicki and Brooks being broken up. Why? They think she’s lying so no one will bother her about Brooks, the douchey loser who was supposedly using Vicki for money. No one liked him, and he was the main reason for Vicki and Tamra breaking up. OK, the only reason. 

Heather worked hard on the seating chart, but once Tamra and Gretchen arrive they try to change things around to sit together. Get over yourselves. These two are never funny; I can’t believe I have a whole new season to listen to Gretchen’s cackle. She laughs after everything she says, yet has never said anything remotely funny. Nevertheless, I do kind of like Gretchen. Tamra too, although I hated her back in the day when she was trying to set Gretchen up to be “naked wasted.” Gretchen has forgiven her and so have I. Vicki arrives, and it’s a major cliffhanger with neither woman knowing whether to say hello to each other or not. It’s a standoff, and we’ll have to wait until next week to see who goes first. 

According to the amazing preview, it’s obvious that Vicki and Tamra will be friends again soon. They were dancing and partying together in the first clip. Brooks and Vicki will also be getting back together. There’s a new girl, and an old girl. The new girl Lydia looks fascinating, while old girl Lori is back to stir the pot. Lori seems to have lots of shit talking to do, a surprise twist for such a boring old Housewife. I can’t wait! I saw tons of screaming people. Get excited!

What did you think? Are you as excited for the new season as I am? Let me know here