Tonight was Heather’s big appearance on “Hot in Cleveland,” and she actually did a great job. Watching Heather made me realize that she really is an actress, or was, and I now have a new found respect for her. We also heard more whining from Lydia about her mom being a pothead, and it seems like a big reach for a storyline. Get over it. Why are we talking about this? Vicki and Tamra made up, sort of, calling each other a bitch turned from serious to joking, which is their way of burying the hatchet I guess. Slade and Gretchen were more annoying than usual, sealing their fate as the “two a-holes” couple from SNL. Remember them? 

Lauri Peterson made a surprise appearance tonight, well not a surprise since they’ve been promoting her return for months. She obviously has some vendetta against Vicki, and is so transparent about being on the show solely to bash her. I can’t call myself much of a Lauri fan from back in the day, and so I’m not impressed by her motives. It’s nice to hear about all her kids, even though I didn’t really like them either. Do you remember in the first few seasons when the show was heavily based on the lives of everyone’s kids? Do you also remember that everyone’s kids were pretty much obnoxious douches? Well they’re all grown up, and I hope to never see them or think about them again. Lauri drops lots of backhanded comments about Vicki’s divorce as she and Tamra search for a ring for “small hands” Eddie. She starts out saying, “hey Tamra, why buy a ring when Don has a ring he’s not using anymore? Get it, cause like Vicki’s marriage fell apart?” Didn’t Vicki used to be Lauri’s boss and help her out a lot before she hit the jackpot marrying a millionaire? I remember Vicki really teaching Lauri about the business and trying to help her when it came to making a living for her kids. Lauri insinuates that Vicki may have been the reason why Tamra and Simon got divorced. I’m sure that Tamra doesn’t think so, but she claims that Vicki definitely didn’t help. She calls Vicki a hypocrite for always giving her opinion of Simon to Tamra but not wanting to hear any opinions about Brooks. Lauri says that Vicki tried to destroy her relationship with George, which must not have been filmed. 

Is Vicki being Jill Zarined? First of all, you may think I’m a huge Vicki fan based on my defense of her each week, but the truth is it’s more of my dislike of everyone else. Tamra may be right about Vicki dishing out advice but not wanting it, lots of people are guilty of that, especially a control freak like Vicki. I don’t like everyone turning their backs and bad mouthing Vicki constantly, and it reminds me of Jill Zarin in season three of New York. Sure Jill heavily deserved the backlash of her actions, but it got to the point where everyone else was just letting it consume them. Jill had her good qualities, and many flaws, but deep down she was a good friend when you were her friend. She did a lot for you when you were her friend. When you weren’t, watch out. She was, however, herself to a fault, whether she wanted to be in front of the cameras or not. Here Vicki is in the same boat. I’ve seen this woman do so much for others, maybe in her harsh way, but that’s Vicki. Jill Zarin was the matriarch of New York in the beginning, and the show ate her alive. Vicki is the matriarch or all the Housewives shows, and here we are watching everyone being ungrateful and catty. 

My only comment on Lydia’s conversation with her mom is that it’s a stupid storyline, and unnecessary. What makes me lose all interest is Lydia saying that it’s a dark secret she’s been hiding her whole life, yet here she is divulging every detail on camera. What? Who cares if her mom smokes a joint every night? I can’t tell if they thought this storyline would be cute, funny, or serious? I mean there’s no PSA at the end of the episode saying “if you or someone you know smokes pot, call this hotline.” Who cares?  

“Happy birthday Gretchen, my gift to you is to increase your bills by a couple hundred dollars, yay!” Ugh Slade, if Andy wasn’t so objective when it comes to all things Housewives, you’d be the jack hole of the week. So for Gretchen’s birthday, Slade transfers her lease over to a Rolls Royce because it’s a couple hundred dollars more than her old lease was. What? These two are really getting on my nerves; she needs to be demoted to friend of the Housewives like Camille. Slade needs to be banned from Bravo. 

Bravo must have been overjoyed with Betty White’s appearance on the show. While Heather is doing her table read at “Hot in Cleveland,” where Wendy Malik seems to be the nicest person in the room, Alexis is taking up acting as a hobby. She’s got free time on her hands, always a bad thing when it comes to Alexis. After a horrible appearance on “General Hospital” she’s been bit by the acting bug. It’s painful to watch her even talk to the teacher about taking the class, let alone the class itself. 

It would have been a good learning experience for Alexis to watch Heather’s live taping. Too bad she would never ever be invited to anything by Heather. That’s a shame because unlike Gretchen and Slade, AKA the a-holes, she would have actually shown up. They came so late and walked in trying to learn how to look at the screen on their phone. Talking and ruining the whole thing, they then walk off and miss Heather’s performance. Everyone noticed, and even Tamra her fake BFF had a lot to say about it. 

Heather did a fantastic job, and now they’re at dinner to celebrate. When Gretchen reveals Slade’s “Gift” everyone wants to gag. Tamra is like “are you fucking kidding me?” For once I agree, and it’s as pathetic as I thought. Thanks for the confirmation ladies; your reaction reflects my mine exactly. So dumb! Lydia must have pulled a script out of the menu and says, “so Tamra, the last time you and Vicki were together you called her a bitch. Has your relationship improved, or would you like to argue now while we’re filming?” Umm, OK. That was weird, and luckily they don’t argue. Tamra apologizes and they say what they think and put it past them. Nice scene, my blood pressure is down. Vicki as usual, says she felt like the fifth wheel on the trip, and they joke about Gretchen’s BFF status with Tamra. Gretchen pretends not to care about them making up, as long as she has that friendship bracelet she doesn’t care. With the few comments Tamra made in her talking head about Gretchen and Slade tonight, I’d put that bracelet somewhere safe Gretchen. 

This was a great episode that put a lot of things into perspective for me. I wonder what happened that made Lauri turn on Vicki so hardcore that she decided to return to the show just to embarrass her. I also wonder why Lydia is openly talking about something she’s been hiding her whole life. I wonder too what Slade has against Bravo that they’ve giving him a lifelong contract for airtime. These questions may never be answered, but I’d love to know what you thought about tonight’s episode here