Leading up to the premiere of Season 5 tonight was an all day marathon of last season. I caught up with a few episodes, like the big RV trip that led to the blow up between Teresa and Caroline. By the time it got up to the end, when Teresa set Melissa up to be exposed as a supposed ex-stripper at the Posh Fashion Show, I could barely watch. Usually I’m elated to get to watch the reunion shows over again, always my favorite episodes. I turned it off. The reunion shows last season were brutal and I couldn’t bring myself to relive all the vile family drama. Last season was dark to say the least, and I couldn’t even imagine where it would even begin this season. 

The aftermath of Hurricane Sandy began the show, and it was almost a metaphor for the aftermath of Season 4. The devastation and destruction left everyone picking up the pieces in shock. The Gorgas, Wakilies, and Guidices all lost their second homes on the Jersey Shore. Living in an area affected by Sandy, not a day goes by when someone doesn’t inquire about what the storm put you through. I was just telling my husband earlier today that I didn’t want to hear the words “Hurricane Sandy” for at least three days. I then sat down to an episode dedicated to it. The worst part, or saddest I’d say, was when Teresa and Joe reveal that they hadn’t even spoken to her brother or Melissa to check on one another. Since the reunion show they hadn’t spoken, and it was left off with Melissa declaring that Teresa would never see her kids again. Now a year has passed, and nothing has changed. 

It seemed staged that Milania would bring up how much she missed her cousin Antonia, but she did. What happened to the little monster that was running around wrecking everything every season before? Milania is like a little angel all of a sudden, and totally adorable. On the other side of town, Antonia wrote a letter to Milania in school saying that she misses her, and Melissa decides to mail the letter. When Milania gets it, Teresa gives her the phone and she calls Antonia up. They are so cute and want to have a playdate, with both mother’s scrambling not knowing what to do. Obviously they’re going to see each other again, they’re filming a show. I wish they didn’t treat us viewers like morons like we’d be on the edge of our seats wondering if they’ll ever speak again. Obviously they have to. 

After texting back and forth, with Melissa uncomfortable with dropping her daughter at Teresa’s house, they all go to a bead store to make jewelry. Thanks to Gia, who has grown up so much and has a possible boyfriend, she texts Melissa with the plans for Teresa to tag along. On the way Joe talks to Milania on the phone and asks her if she’s excited to see horsey-face. What an idiot. This guy is the worst, why would he say something his daughter could easily repeat? I would never call Teresa innocent, that’s like an oxymoron, but come on Joe. He obviously loves the drama of the siblings not speaking and despite the fact that he has no reason to hate Melissa he can’t help but make fun of her to a six year old. Worst person on television. 

The playdate gets really awkward, especially when Melissa randomly becomes really bossy and wants the girls to make perfect sellable jewelry. I can’t remember the last time I even agreed with Teresa, yet she at least didn’t care what the hell their bracelets looked like. It was really weird and gave Teresa some ammunition to have something on Melissa. They realize that their daughters’ communion parties are on the same day, and when Teresa says they have to change days Melissa is silent. Finally Teresa says that she’ll change the day to “be the bigger person,” which isn’t something you say out loud when you’re actually trying to be the bigger person. It’s all the same bullshit going on, nothing has changed. 

As for the rest of the cast, not too much to report. Caroline’s hair looked amazing tonight, and for whatever reason she and Albert bought an apartment in Hoboken. She claims it has nothing to do with living closer to her sons, but that’s definitely a lie. She’s obsessed with those kids, we all know it. She has the Gorgas over and gets pissed when Melissa is texting back and forth with Teresa. She decides that Melissa is causing problems, and that she has to talk to Joe alone to resolve his problems for him. Bad idea; she’s just trying to redeem herself after being accused of bullying last year. 

I think that Bravo only has Kathy on the show for the access to Rosie at this point. Rosie’s complaining about dating and Kathy suggests social networking, but not on the internet. What the hell is real life social networking? 

Jacqueline talks about her sons autism and I feel so bad for her struggle. It’s obvious that it’s been hard on her, and when her son says Ipad she can’t believe it. It was a great moment for them after he hasn’t been communicating at all. 

The preview for the season is promising, but it looks a little like the “Real World Road Rules Challenge.” What’s with all the trips and activities? Lots of scenes had both Teresa and Melissa together, both good and bad, and so this season will be a big repeat of last season. What’s different is that Caroline seems to be turning on Melissa. 

Can’t wait to hear what you thought about the start to Season 5 here. Do you think Melissa is part of the problem like Caroline does?