“Why do I have to tell you what to do all the time?”
Aaryn: “You just don’t get it.”
David: “What don’t I get?”
This conversation was inevitable at some point. But seriously, David, the second night of the feeds! And this isn’t the words of David’s enemy. Aaryn is his closest ally, his showmance. These are the words of someone who is trying to help, but is becoming overwhelmed with frustration. “I just feel like I am wasting my time trying to explain things to you,” says Aaryn.
But this is the scary part: David is sort of right.
This fight was precipitated by a brief conversation David had with Elissa. After being put on the block by the secret MVP (who is clearly Elissa), David is tired of listening to hearsay and approaches Elissa to see what’s up. He calmly asks her about her sister, whether or not she is MVP, and why she would want to target him.
This conversation he had with Elissa is the reason why Aaryn is so livid. If you’re thinking to yourself, “Gee, that doesn’t seem like much cause to warrant getting harangued for a half hour,” you are not alone. Well, Aaryn feels that—by talking to Elissa—David has demonstrated a lack of trust in Aaryn. She already told David that Elissa is a liar and cannot be trusted, and once you willingly participate in a conversation with someone who Aaryn has blacklisted, you have betrayed her. She is nervously yelling at the man who is so mellow we have dubbed him, The Big Chill, telling him that he looks desperate and is freaking out.
David doesn’t know quite how to react to this. He looks as if he thinks she is about to burst out into laughter and assure him that she is just breaking his balls. That never happens. She just continues to reprimand him for being a doofus, only digressing to curse herself for aligning with said doofus.
It’s hard to gauge what’s going on in David’s head. He incessantly apologizes to her. But when he says things like, “I don’t know what I was thinking,” I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic. And after she tells him that he can’t play the game “personally,” he points out that she is actually playing the game personally.
David eventually caves in. The notion of losing Aaryn is just too painful for him. She forbids him from talking to Elissa; he complies.
I should note that Aaryn has a point.  David was too quick to believe that just because Elissa cried in front of him, that she was being honest. She, in fact, was lying to him. But Aaryn’s insistence that David never seek primary information if Aaryn has given him secondary information is ludicrous.
On Thursday afternoon, Jeremy confronts Elissa in a room full of spectators about a lie Elissa has been purveying, that her sister is a model. Elissa clarifies that she said her sister was Gisele Bundchen, the “uber-famous” Victoria’s Secret supermodel, and that it was meant as a joke.
Jeremy does not know who Gisele Bundchen is.
“Do you know who Tom Brady is?”
“Then I find it hard to believe you don’t know who is wife is.”
“Sorry, I don’t keep up with his wife. I’m not a domesticator follower.”
Jeremy’s anger is going to be a serious issue for him. At one point he says, “If you got somewhere to be, walk your ass downstairs.” And yet, he seems to be displaying a lot of restraint. This is first gear from him. I look forward to some future Jeremy fights.
Pretty in Pink
Wednesday night, GinaMarie organized the obligatory Big Brother fashion show. All the girls were getting dolled up and suddenly David waltzes into the changing room.
And then David changes into a dress.
This happened so fast. I don’t know who suggested it, but David just stood there quiescently as the girls threw a dress over him. He subsequently inquired about the availability of heels.
But here’s the best part of this whole debacle: The girls weren’t prepared for the show yet. So David has to walk around the house in his pink dress for about twenty minutes, waiting for the show to commence. He sits down on the couch awkwardly as the camera zooms in on his exposed underwear, and then hikes himself back up to his feet in an anxious fit. He preens in front of a mirror and makes sure his matching visor isn’t askew. The girls still aren’t ready. David is trapped. David is trapped in a pink dress.
David was a good sport, swaying his hips sinuously as he did his runway walk,  but there is something tragically metaphorical about this incident. As he repeatedly apologizes to Aaryn, chasing her in and out of rooms, I can’t help but see that pink dress superimposed over him. In his dotting affection for the girl with the blonde hair and blue eyes, he has been completely emasculated. He has given up his individuality in this game.
 She has also—after McCrae won the veto— apologized to David.
 This observer suspects that the judges were taking bribes from the appointed winner, Helen. David worked so hard. He wanted that crown more than any of those girls and it is a travesty that they overlooked him.
|Weíre Not in Kansas Anymore|
Am I a bad person for enjoying the utter shock and dismay on those houseguest's faces?
|Joker's Roasts BB Canada - Next Four!|
Here they are, your second group, served on coals as Jokerís scoop.
|BB Canada: Joker's Roasts the First Six|
Itís March! Time for fests - BB Canadaís 1st six house guests. Prepare for Jokerís finest blend, As we roast Canadian friends!
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Close But No Calzone|
End of the season awards, thoughts on the Big Brother 16 Finale, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Heard Dat|
And Big Brother 16ís MVP is . . .
|BB16: The Real Issue with Frankie Grande: Gay to Gay|
Editorial thoughts on Frankie Grande
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: What is Love?|
Wading through the onslaught of Christine hate, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Lyrical Genius|
Feeling bummed out from another predictable week of gameplay? Enjoy this greatest hits compilation of Caleb's freestyle rap verses.
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Time to Play the Game|
Caleb's rap game, Donny's social game, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 16: There's Just Something About This Year's Cast... I know, They are Us...|
The casting this year reminds me of a cross section of AmericaÖ
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Stay Classy, Internet|
Amber is evicted, and a Washington Post blog questions whether this is the most sexist cast of Big Brother ever
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: What's the Upside, Zachary?|
An appraisal of Zach's gameplay, and the latest developments of Caleb and Amber
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Bombs Away!|
The many implosions of the Bomb Squad, the many iterations of the Just Friends Lie, and the many names of Devin
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: A New Hope|
Caleb and Amber make amends, and Julie Chen reviews the tape
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Believe in Yourself|
Joey makes an announcement, Frankie and Zach discuss the weather, and Caleb tells Amber how he feels
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Scouting Report|
Your guide to the Big Brother 16 cast
|In the Beginning... Part 1|
Iím often asked how I happened to create JokersUpdates.com (a far better question would involve how a model/actress morphed into an author/computer geek...)
|ďI Ainít Good. Iím the Best.Ē|
A film review of Arthur Pennís 1967 classic, Bonnie and Clyde
|Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Score!|
The Sole Survivor of Blood vs. Water is crowned, Monica finds the real Monica, and memorable moments from the reunion
|Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Mixed Bag|
Tyson looks through his bag, Vytas joins the jury, and Ciera ditches the newbies
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: The Drinks are on Andy|
My final thoughts on Big Brother 15, the reunion, and Andy
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: The Amanda Show|
Amanda's arrival at the jury house, end of the season awards, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: The Lying Game|
Andy's legacy, conspiracy theories, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: John Nash in the House!|
Amanda doesn't listen to music, Elissa smiles, and Andy and Elissa fight over the meaning of "threaten"
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Fighting the World|
Jessie pisses everybody off, Amanda gets her Axl Rose on, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: The Path of Least Resistance|
Double eviction madness, Amanda's conversational skills, and the person I want to come back in the house
|Big Brother 15 - Live Audience Experience|
Sharing my Big Brother studio audience experience, from start to finish!
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Cause Without a Rebel|
Candice inadvertently invokes a skit from Chappelle's Show, and I go on another diatribe about the MVP twist
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: America's Sweetheart|
Passages from The Fountainhead, the glaring contradictions of Elissa, and one of my favorite houseguests I never get to write about
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Aliens Exist|
GinaMarie stars in The Fugitive, and is Aaryn a racist?
|Big Brother House of Mirrors: You and Your Phonies|
McCrae pretends to be MVP, Howard unsuccessfully throws a competition, and Aaryn tries to apologize
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Say Cheese!|
My take on the MVP twist, and Helen's penchant for Nirvana
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Too Much Too Soon|
A look at the insanely fast pace of the game so far, and the art of the Jeremy apology
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: For Your Love|
An evaluation of the major Big Brother 15 showmances
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Fight Club|
Amanda displays her acting chops, Jeremy steals some wine, and Aaryn cooks some pizza
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Pretty in Pink|
Aaryn expresses her disappointment with David, Jeremy and Elissa discuss Gisele Bundchen, and David wears a dress
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Scouting Report|
Your guide to the Big Brother 15 cast