Let’s all say goodbye to that beautiful idiot. I will miss you dearly, David. You provided me with an abundance of fodder for this column. It’s actually a little frightening doing this without you. And sure you looked like an imbecile on national television, but at least you leave knowing you found the love of your life or whatever.
When David is being interviewed by Julie Chen, he mentions that he hopes Aaryn didn’t vote for him. All I can say is that I hope, for David’s sake, Aaryn never watches this. It is the same kind of distrustful comment that precipitated many a protracted lashing.
David painted Aaryn in the image of an angel. He just took her pretty face and filled in all of the other chasms. Aaryn knew this. She told David so; of course David didn’t comprehend it. But now something interesting is happening: Following his eviction, Aaryn is beginning to yearn for David. This is the same guy she excoriated for hours for having no ambition and being an inept communicator, the same guy she told that Jeremy is more of the kind of guy she is attracted to, only abstaining from her feelings toward Jeremy out of deference to Kaitlin.
All of a sudden, she likes David now. She thinks she may have been too hard on him and says she didn’t realize how much their relationship meant to her.
They’re both delusion. Maybe they are meant to be.
Jeremy and Kaitlin
I’m not sure what to make of these two. I suspect that neither is terribly attached to one another in a context that isn't physical. They just seem to be having a mutual good time, Jeremy choking Kaitlin as they make out.
While they both sporadically question each other, the difference is that Jeremy is more interested in playing the game than he is in having fun. Now, Jeremy's conception of playing the game is totally cockeyed—he isn't so much confident that he will win every competition as he is certain—but he has options. He has The Moving Company to branch out. Conversely, Kaitlin's game is singularly contingent on Jeremy. All she can do is get Jeremy to recalibrate his behavior in a more tactful way.
In the Big Brother house, Jeremy will always be the choker and Kaitlin will always be the girl getting choked.
Amanda and McCrae
This was probably the most unanticipated showmance of this year and they are the strongest pair in the house right now. They are both relatively level-headed and have an implicit trust in each other. Amanda’s only viable option right now is McCrae, but she is a savvy, albeit aggressive, player. McCrae has The Moving Company, yet I don’t think he values that over Amanda (not that he is neglecting The MC.)
McCrae also had one of the best week one HOHs in modern Big Brother history, which leads me to—
Me and McCrae
I didn’t expect to have a one-sided voyeuristic bromance with someone on an Orwellian themed reality show being shot 2,700 miles away, but I am officially digging some McCrae. Judging from the preshow interviews, I thought he had the largest cool quotient. He seemed funny but not stupid, smart but not didactic, eccentric but not glib. I also connect with him as a former pizza delivery boy myself.
But he recently said something that has made me forever faithful to his cause.
While discussing movies titles with numbers, McCrae opined, “8 ½ is a really good movie too.”
Well, I’m pulling for McCrae to win this game now. Go ahead, watch 8 ½ and tell me it isn’t the greatest film ever made. And watch Big Brother 15 and tell me you aren’t rooting for McCrae.
Canada is For Lovers
GinaMarie’s infatuation with Nick is fairly troubling, especially when Nick has made it manifestly clear that he is not interested. So you would think she would just get over it, or at least bear it in silence as she watches him with bated breath from afar. There is no way she would continue to make untoward advances after repeatedly getting rejected, right?
Sure, she will attenuate the awkwardness of her advances with comments akin to, “Oh, Nick is my friend. We’re good friends, that’s all.” But the advances never stop. She harbors some elusive hope that just maybe she can break him down.
On Thursday afternoon, GinaMarie learned something that will haunt her for the rest of her life: Nick was complicit in voting out David. GinaMarie was devastated. Aaryn then tells her that Nick has been playing her the whole time and subsequently tries to prop her up by saying that girls like them don’t have to put up with such abuse.
GinaMarie plays along, pretending not to care. She has concluded that, since Nick isn’t receptive, he must be gay anyway. And whenever she is feeling particularly vulnerable, she’ll invoke her amazing, hot boyfriend.
Am I the only person who questions the existence of this boyfriend? It reminds me of that one guy we knew in high school, who was so starved for attention that he manufactured a fictitious girlfriend.
“Well, when do we get to meet her?” we would all ask sarcastically.
“That may be difficult”, he would say. “See, I met her while she was vacationing. She’s actually Canadian, so we don’t get to meet up as often as we would like. But we talk on the telephone all the time! And she’s prettier than any of the girls in this lousy town! I swear!”
GinaMarie gushes to her friends about how she can’t wait for them to meet Matt when this is over. But I have a suspicion that Matt will always have prior engagements.
Don’t be mad at Matt. It’s a long drive from Canada.
Jessie says she is like Bella from Twilight. There’s nothing more I can add to that.
|Weíre Not in Kansas Anymore|
Am I a bad person for enjoying the utter shock and dismay on those houseguest's faces?
|Joker's Roasts BB Canada - Next Four!|
Here they are, your second group, served on coals as Jokerís scoop.
|BB Canada: Joker's Roasts the First Six|
Itís March! Time for fests - BB Canadaís 1st six house guests. Prepare for Jokerís finest blend, As we roast Canadian friends!
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Close But No Calzone|
End of the season awards, thoughts on the Big Brother 16 Finale, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Heard Dat|
And Big Brother 16ís MVP is . . .
|BB16: The Real Issue with Frankie Grande: Gay to Gay|
Editorial thoughts on Frankie Grande
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: What is Love?|
Wading through the onslaught of Christine hate, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Lyrical Genius|
Feeling bummed out from another predictable week of gameplay? Enjoy this greatest hits compilation of Caleb's freestyle rap verses.
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Time to Play the Game|
Caleb's rap game, Donny's social game, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 16: There's Just Something About This Year's Cast... I know, They are Us...|
The casting this year reminds me of a cross section of AmericaÖ
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Stay Classy, Internet|
Amber is evicted, and a Washington Post blog questions whether this is the most sexist cast of Big Brother ever
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: What's the Upside, Zachary?|
An appraisal of Zach's gameplay, and the latest developments of Caleb and Amber
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Bombs Away!|
The many implosions of the Bomb Squad, the many iterations of the Just Friends Lie, and the many names of Devin
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: A New Hope|
Caleb and Amber make amends, and Julie Chen reviews the tape
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Believe in Yourself|
Joey makes an announcement, Frankie and Zach discuss the weather, and Caleb tells Amber how he feels
|Big Brother 16 House of Mirrors: Scouting Report|
Your guide to the Big Brother 16 cast
|In the Beginning... Part 1|
Iím often asked how I happened to create JokersUpdates.com (a far better question would involve how a model/actress morphed into an author/computer geek...)
|ďI Ainít Good. Iím the Best.Ē|
A film review of Arthur Pennís 1967 classic, Bonnie and Clyde
|Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Score!|
The Sole Survivor of Blood vs. Water is crowned, Monica finds the real Monica, and memorable moments from the reunion
|Survivor: Blood vs. Water: Mixed Bag|
Tyson looks through his bag, Vytas joins the jury, and Ciera ditches the newbies
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: The Drinks are on Andy|
My final thoughts on Big Brother 15, the reunion, and Andy
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: The Amanda Show|
Amanda's arrival at the jury house, end of the season awards, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: The Lying Game|
Andy's legacy, conspiracy theories, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: John Nash in the House!|
Amanda doesn't listen to music, Elissa smiles, and Andy and Elissa fight over the meaning of "threaten"
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Fighting the World|
Jessie pisses everybody off, Amanda gets her Axl Rose on, and out of context quotes
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: The Path of Least Resistance|
Double eviction madness, Amanda's conversational skills, and the person I want to come back in the house
|Big Brother 15 - Live Audience Experience|
Sharing my Big Brother studio audience experience, from start to finish!
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Cause Without a Rebel|
Candice inadvertently invokes a skit from Chappelle's Show, and I go on another diatribe about the MVP twist
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: America's Sweetheart|
Passages from The Fountainhead, the glaring contradictions of Elissa, and one of my favorite houseguests I never get to write about
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Aliens Exist|
GinaMarie stars in The Fugitive, and is Aaryn a racist?
|Big Brother House of Mirrors: You and Your Phonies|
McCrae pretends to be MVP, Howard unsuccessfully throws a competition, and Aaryn tries to apologize
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Say Cheese!|
My take on the MVP twist, and Helen's penchant for Nirvana
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Too Much Too Soon|
A look at the insanely fast pace of the game so far, and the art of the Jeremy apology
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: For Your Love|
An evaluation of the major Big Brother 15 showmances
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Fight Club|
Amanda displays her acting chops, Jeremy steals some wine, and Aaryn cooks some pizza
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Pretty in Pink|
Aaryn expresses her disappointment with David, Jeremy and Elissa discuss Gisele Bundchen, and David wears a dress
|Big Brother 15 House of Mirrors: Scouting Report|
Your guide to the Big Brother 15 cast