Let’s all say goodbye to that beautiful idiot. I will miss you dearly, David. You provided me with an abundance of fodder for this column. It’s actually a little frightening doing this without you. And sure you looked like an imbecile on national television, but at least you leave knowing you found the love of your life or whatever.

When David is being interviewed by Julie Chen, he mentions that he hopes Aaryn didn’t vote for him. All I can say is that I hope, for David’s sake, Aaryn never watches this. It is the same kind of distrustful comment that precipitated many a protracted lashing.

David painted Aaryn in the image of an angel. He just took her pretty face and filled in all of the other chasms. Aaryn knew this. She told David so; of course David didn’t comprehend it. But now something interesting is happening: Following his eviction, Aaryn is beginning to yearn for David. This is the same guy she excoriated for hours for having no ambition and being an inept communicator, the same guy she told that Jeremy is more of the kind of guy she is attracted to, only abstaining from her feelings toward Jeremy out of deference to Kaitlin.

All of a sudden, she likes David now. She thinks she may have been too hard on him and says she didn’t realize how much their relationship meant to her.

They’re both delusion. Maybe they are meant to be.


Jeremy and Kaitlin

I’m not sure what to make of these two. I suspect that neither is terribly attached to one another in a context that isn't physical. They just seem to be having a mutual good time, Jeremy choking Kaitlin as they make out.

 While they both sporadically question each other, the difference is that Jeremy is more interested in playing the game than he is in having fun. Now, Jeremy's conception of playing the game is totally cockeyed—he isn't so much confident that he will win every competition as he is certain—but he has options. He has The Moving Company to branch out. Conversely, Kaitlin's game is singularly contingent on Jeremy. All she can do is get Jeremy to recalibrate his behavior in a more tactful way.

In the Big Brother house, Jeremy will always be the choker and Kaitlin will always be the girl getting choked. 


Amanda and McCrae

This was probably the most unanticipated showmance of this year and they are the strongest pair in the house right now. They are both relatively level-headed and have an implicit trust in each other. Amanda’s only viable option right now is McCrae, but she is a savvy, albeit aggressive, player. McCrae has The Moving Company, yet I don’t think he values that over Amanda (not that he is neglecting The MC.) 

McCrae also had one of the best week one HOHs in modern Big Brother history, which leads me to—


Me and McCrae

I didn’t expect to have a one-sided voyeuristic bromance with someone on an Orwellian themed reality show being shot 2,700 miles away, but I am officially digging some McCrae. Judging from the preshow interviews, I thought he had the largest cool quotient. He seemed funny but not stupid, smart but not didactic, eccentric but not glib.[1] I also connect with him as a former pizza delivery boy myself.

But he recently said something that has made me forever faithful to his cause.

While discussing movies titles with numbers, McCrae opined, “8 ½ is a really good movie too.”

Well, I’m pulling for McCrae to win this game now. Go ahead, watch 8 ½ and tell me it isn’t the greatest film ever made. And watch Big Brother 15 and tell me you aren’t rooting for McCrae.


Canada is For Lovers

GinaMarie’s infatuation with Nick is fairly troubling, especially when Nick has made it manifestly clear that he is not interested. So you would think she would just get over it, or at least bear it in silence as she watches him with bated breath from afar. There is no way she would continue to make untoward advances after repeatedly getting rejected, right?


Sure, she will attenuate the awkwardness of her advances with comments akin to, “Oh, Nick is my friend. We’re good friends, that’s all.” But the advances never stop. She harbors some elusive hope that just maybe she can break him down.[2]

On Thursday afternoon, GinaMarie learned something that will haunt her for the rest of her life: Nick was complicit in voting out David. GinaMarie was devastated. Aaryn then tells her that Nick has been playing her the whole time and subsequently tries to prop her up by saying that girls like them don’t have to put up with such abuse.

GinaMarie plays along, pretending not to care. She has concluded that, since Nick isn’t receptive, he must be gay anyway. And whenever she is feeling particularly vulnerable, she’ll invoke her amazing, hot boyfriend.

Am I the only person who questions the existence of this boyfriend? It reminds me of that one guy we knew in high school, who was so starved for attention that he manufactured a fictitious girlfriend.

“Well, when do we get to meet her?” we would all ask sarcastically.

“That may be difficult”, he would say. “See, I met her while she was vacationing. She’s actually Canadian, so we don’t get to meet up as often as we would like. But we talk on the telephone all the time! And she’s prettier than any of the girls in this lousy town! I swear!”

GinaMarie gushes to her friends about how she can’t wait for them to meet Matt when this is over. But I have a suspicion that Matt will always have prior engagements.

Don’t be mad at Matt. It’s a long drive from Canada.


Jessie’s Choice

Jessie says she is like Bella from Twilight. There’s nothing more I can add to that.

[1] Yes, of course I could tell all of that from a 2 minute video.

[2] Think of Natalie’s anaclitic relationship with Matt on Big Brother 9.