Lyrical Genius

“Are you seriously ready for this? Because Beast Mode can say anything when he’s rhyming.”—Caleb

Man, does this season need some action. Nicole just came back but has no traction. Déjà vu like I’ve seen this all before. You know I hate to say it, but this really is a bore.

But check it, dude: My mind turns back to greener pastures. Like the stealth runner, the kung fu master. My man is prolific, mad scientific, iller than Bill Bellamy to be specific. Yeah, he’s terrific. Earned his honorifics. A house without Caleb would be straight up horrific.

But, homie, my time is just a tickin’ away. And ain’t got nothin’ left here to say. So let me turn it over. I hope you all enjoy the latest rap verses from Beast Mode Cowboy.


Dude I write the sickest raps

They comin’ out of my flaps

It’s like lips but comin’ up I eat ‘em like trap flap jacks


I’m a lyrical genius

I spit words like a vocabulary list

I’m coming out I’m speaking correctly

I don’t have a lisp

I come out hard

I’m swinging baseballs like soccer balls

And I’m kicking you in the nuts and makin’ your eyeballs froze

I’m a lyrical genius

I like to take baths

I like to go fishing in my Master Crab

I don’t know what you got to say but I make words outta nothin’

I’m comin’ up with somethin’ so you better



Derrick comes down down the stairs, it’s like homie please

He’s got the same sweatpants that he’s wearing when his thing is hangin’ by his knees

Christine comes up, she thinks it’s funny

But it’s runny

It’s like this guy [Zach] fartin’ after eating turkey out the oven

Oh no, hold up

My bracelet just went off

That means I’ve done somethin’ all day

I’m just about to piss you off

Because yours is at like point two

Maybe, hey, you ain’t even got it on

But it’s OK ‘cause

It’s just me possibly goin’ home

It’s not you because I’m on the block

Can’t you see?

No because you got my glasses that I got last week

Hold up, listen, take ‘em off

You’re wearing a gator shirt

I got these shoes that I wore on a spit I won my HOH in

You piece of dirt

I like to rhyme

Kick it

My vocabulary is sickening

But I like to go on picnics


Check this

I look like Boogie

But I can rhyme like Snookie

But she’s like four foot tall

She’s lookin’ like a boogie

Right outta my nose

It’s green and it’s not froze

It’s a little bit gooey

You’ve got a volcano on your nose

Nope it’s just a pimple

It’s not a volcano


So since I’ve done licked your balm

Why don’t you just read my palm

And let’s kiss in front of your mom


I’m feelin’ kinda fugly

What rhymes with fugly?



You’re kinda ugly

Hold up


I’m rhyming off the brain

I don’t even know what’s goin’ down

I’m kinda insane

Like my Instagram

Insain Physique

When you mess with Caleb

You mess with more than me

I’m not alone

There’s like three or four of me

I’m like kinda Devin with the personalities


I’m a lyrical genius

My mind is sensless

I done lost my braids

I‘m comin' out, I’m an army boy, I play it like charades

But I’m like a renegade

I wear the army suit like I’m for real

This ain’t like lemonade, I’m comin’ out

I’m the real deal

I put on a gun, I walk the streets of Baghdad

I’m comin’ out throwin’ elbows just like my dad

But he walked the streets many days before me

He was out like a night stalker throwin’ bullets down the street

But hold

We don’t play

We don’t do it your way

We do it our way which is the right way

Not your way



I’m a lyrical genius

Comin’ out with a large penis[1]

I‘m like a well comin’ out

I’m not here to see this

I’m just here to play the game

I’m playin’ it for real

They got Beast Mode Cowboy hangin’ out with his fishin’ reel

I’m catchin’ big fish

I don’t catch minnows, I catch sharks

I’m comin’ out like malarks

Playin’ dart boards on the frickin’ charts

Gettin’ on the yachts, throwin’ blocks for dots

What, you talkin’ to me?

I knock you on the clock

Take off the top of your domepiece

Send it to your mom in a box

But if Beast Mode Cowboy hit you in the chest, he’s knockin’ off your socks

But hold

I’m not done, it’s the power that’s within me

When you check out Beast Mode Cowboy, he has no enemy

Not even anemone

I play this by myself

I got Zach Attack over here, she’s comin’ in here with the turkey melt


I’m a lyrical genius

But you’ve already seen this

Because I’m not done, I’m comin’ out from the seamis

What’s the seamis?

I don’t know, it rhymes with penis

She’s eatin’ some turkey with some mustard and some cottage cheese


I’m not Santa Claus, I’m comin’ down your chimney throwin’ some Rolos just like a holo

Eat it like a marshmello, you cook over the oven and you comin’ out with like a dead fellow

You’re burnt, you’re crisp, you’re black around the edges but white inside

Man if I could just take you out of this house and get out of inside

I take you out in the backyard, punch you out, put your lights out for real

Beast Mode Cowboy only use baitcaster reels

Because I’m not soft, I am the real deal

Charmin ain’t got nothin’ on me

I’m hard as a block like steel

I already told you once

I’m like a renegade, I don’t drink lemonaid, I come out drinkin’ Mike’s Hard Lemonaid

It’s got a little kick to it

It’s not little soft stuff, you feel me?



I’m a lyrical genius

I’m spittin’ mad ether

Have you ever heard of that dag-gum band named Seether?

I have

Have you not?



I’m talkin’ about your dong and you’re slong like a ping pong


I’m a lyrical genius

I switched hats for reason

Because right there I’m country boy, now I’m a different season

And now I have a different reason to rhyme just how I do

We’re on TVGN

What the heck do we do?

I don’t know, we just sit in the bathroom and make a bunch of rhymes

The last time a took a cold shower was like

I don’t know. What, like a couple weeks ago?