BB16: The Real Issue with Frankie Grande: Gay to Gay

The real issue with Frankie Grande has nothing to do with many of the things that make me dislike him. He wears a wardrobe that should have been left in the 80s, lies about his age, grandstands, lacks self-awareness, rides coattails, demands rather than commands attention, worries endlessly about his image, and the list goes on.

None of that matters.

In the grand scheme of life, and certainly the micro world of Big Brother, there are always people one will like and others you just cannot abide.

As a lesbian, I can say without reservation that Frankie's behavior under the microscope of Big Brother is more than bothersome, I find it dangerous.

I have raised my two sons, now 21 and 23, with my partner for the last 11 years. We have taught them a certain framework of life and Frankie puts a kink in some of those lessons. For instance, we have told them, and their friends, that should a gay person ever flirt with them,  ask them out on a date, or be touchy feely with them they could simply, and politely, turn them down in the same way they would if someone of the opposite sex did the same.

Then you have Frankie. Frankie who has repeatedly groped obviously straight men. Frankie who has had his roaming hands removed more times than I can count only to come back and do it again. Shameful.  Men who identify as straight should be treated as such. I do not believe in the guessing game when it comes to sexual orientation. That is for them to declare and not for me to play a game with.

I cannot see into the heart or mind of another, so this is pure conjecture on my part, but I have watched many hours of his behavior, and I truly believe Frankie has used his touchy feely ways in a mean spirited way. His attempts to seem light and friendly read, to me, as hateful. He knows those guys would be terrified of being perceived as homophobic and that they had to feel under pressure to just accept Frankie's behavior rather than forcefully tell him to knock it off. Of course, maybe a few of them really have not been bothered by Frankie's constant and inappropriate touching, but I have heard several of them complaining about being tired of it. I don't blame them. I would have been the first one on the bandwagon defending them if they had finally told him to knock it the hell off and anyone tried to claim they were being homophobic. I think they took far more than anyone should have expected.

The danger in this is not that one gay man will undo all the work the larger gay community has done to show that we are just like anyone else, but that he has had some effect on the thinking of others.

More than once in more than one Big Brother chat room, people have equated Frankie's antics and behavior with Frankie being gay. This is simply not the case. He in no way represents the gay community on a global scale. He is one pathetic douche bag who is filled to the brim with himself that happens to be gay. His homosexuality is not the reason for his abhorrent personality.

Do not even get me started on his "lessons" about gay life and how gay people act out in the real world. Or his nonsense about lesbians choosing to be gay. None of the gay people I know have ever behaved in the way Frankie does. Some flamboyant, yes. Some in love with the brightest colors in the universe, yes. I have seen flashes of parts of Frankie in many of the gay men I have known, but Frankie is a total package unlike any I have ever witnessed.

Gay people come in all of the same range of behaviors, shapes, sizes, political beliefs, religious beliefs, cultures, just as straight people do. I, again, implore people not to equate Frankie's lack of self-awareness, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors with his homosexuality.






It is not paranoia if they really are out to get you.