Close But No Calzone

Frankie has a question for Cody. He asks him if he thinks it’s fair to characterize him as Derrick’s puppet.

Cody’s a little turnt up. He feels maligned by that question. He says that he was decidedly not Derrick’s puppet, elaborating that he had some moves of his own, one of which was evicting Mr. Inquisitor, thank you very much.

Cody’s next question comes from Hayden. Hayden inquires as to Cody’s biggest strategic move in the house. Cody talks about the week Zach was in jeopardy and how he galvanized the movement to flip the house.[1] “[W]e kept Zach and essentially sent a good amount of people that were targeting Derrick out of the house,” says Cody.

That kind of sounds like you were Derrick’s puppet, bro. It reminds of that time you told the majority of the house about your plan to nominate Caleb for taking the cash prize over the POV, only to be talked out of it by Derrick. And then, of course, there is that other time you won the Final Two competition, and you chose to dual it out with your buddy Derrick.

A hand is raised. It is my own. This is my question, and this one is for Cody: Cody, you chose loyalty over $500,000—was it worth it?

 

 

Lighting Round

Here are some final observations on the Big Brother 16 Finale:

 

  • I think the jury question round would benefit from a less controlled environment. I want to see scrapping. I want rebuttals. The live ceremony is but a charade. Two of the questions (Donny’s and Nicole’s) actually asked the recipient to explain why they deserve to win over the guy they are sitting next to, a question that could be reworded as, “Would like to take some time to iterate what you would normally say during your Final Statement?”
  • Julie asked to speak to Donny, winner of America’s Favorite, and Donny never made it over to her. Did he not hear her?
  • The Team America segment was way too long. It was entertaining to see reaction shots from the rest of the cast, but did we really need a Team America highlight reel spanning their inception to their dissolution?
  • If you don’t make Jury these days, I hope you have an expressive face, because you are not granted speaking privileges during the live show. Naturally, this meant—
  • There was no follow up on Caleb and Amber at all! There was a moment when the cast was reintegrating and we see Caleb and Amber briefly interface, but the camera quickly zoomed past them. 

 

End of the Season Awards

Best houseguest to watch on live feeds: Caleb

Best competitor: Frankie

Best Diary Room sessions: Caleb

                Honorable mention: Jocasta

Best competition: BB Tourn-eye-ment (Battle of the Block)

                Honorable mention: the Big Black Box (Battle of the Block)

Rip Van Winkle award: Donny

Best Alter Ego: Rhinestone Silversmith (Frankie)

Catchphrase of the season: Fruit loop dingus (Zach)

                Honorable mention: Drunker than Cooter Brown (Caleb)

Best piece of apparel: Beast Mode Cowboy onesie

                Honorable mention: Amber’s bunny slippers

Worst alliance: The Double Ds

Best Alliance Name: Nicotine (Nicole and Christine)[2]

Mascot of the Season: Toucan Sam

Daniele Donato “awkward” award: Donny apologizing to America (for refusing to attempt the Team America mission) after casting his vote for eviction

Best houseguest shout-out: Lowes (Caleb)

Most love shown to JokersUpdates: Derrick

 

Now That’s What I Call Out of Context Quotes Volume 3

Frankie : “One time, Dan Marino walked in on me when I was shitting.”

Caleb: “I think we need to make a chemical bomb tomorrow and blow it up in the backyard.”

Zach: “My mom can’t be around me in public.”

Caleb: “You know, honestly, what I’m going to do is I’m gonna take a banana peel, and I’m gonna take the pickles, not cut, and I’m gonna put ‘em in that banana peel and wrap it up, simply because you can never judge a book by its cover. You know, and you think it’s a banana, but you have no idea what’s inside that peel until you open it. . . . [G]ive the banana a chance. Open it, peel it, and see what’s inside.”

Cody: “I look like a penis.”

Frankie: “I would love to do, like, a gay dance album.”

Caleb: “I really have no idea what I’m gonna do. I’m not good with patterns, numbers, none of that. And Mama always says, ‘Son, you may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but at least you’re in the box.’”

Victoria: “All the houseguests think that I’m just some princess living in the house, but, honestly, I’m a warrior princess.”

Christine: “I’d rather get shot in the eye than have to read a sci-fi fantasy.”

Donny: “I have an art of befriending people.”

Caleb: “I’m gonna go to a Halloween party with a shirt that says Beast Mode Cowboy on it. . . You know how many little kids are gonna have them costumes runnin’ around—Beast Mode Cowboys?”



[1] This isn’t a true statement.

[2] This name was coined by Christine.