Week oneish (nearly two Hamster weeks) in the Big Brother house is over, and what a week it was. The show started out with great promise with Arnold and TwoElleAllison introducing the X-factor. General consensus has the X being A-OK as a twist and first night reactions were interesting. But like a leaky locomotive, the show lost steam quickly as live feeders felt more like bottom feeders watching the vapid and vile discuss who they'd like to "pound" or expounding on the location of the Atlantic Ocean. With no Roddys, Marcis or Amys to spice up the confab, it began feeling all too much like an extended frat house. Poster after poster commented about not being 'as into it' this year or about lacking anyone really to cheer for. Even on the other end of the spectrum, no one proved as hate-worthy as the evil minions Chiara or Shannon. Not even the stunning (well, yeah, that's a stretch, but we take what we can get) chair-tossing and eviction of unstable Warthog Scott could infuse the game with much more than a few hours of 'whatever' interest—not even the houseguests made that much of a fuss over one of their own leaving. Heck, they wanted him out too. Then, just when Live Feeders were lamenting that season four was turning into the Big Coma, the week came to a startling conclusion, ending with a, well, bang. RangerDave and Amanda broke new ground on the American incarnation of Big Brother when they stress-tested the HOH bed, doing the fastbunny deed before the watchful eyes of Live Feeders. To make matters worse, Dave blew chunks sometime after the act. Talk about going to extremes to avoid cuddling... So after a week of ups and downs (and ups and downs), and now that CBS has officially turned into the nation's pimp, selling sex for ratings, where does that leave the houseguests? Some have gained ground, while others are clearly going down. Scott -- First out of the house after a week one minor meltdown. Scott's chair-tossing incident didn't seem too egregious on its own, but his instability, mood swings, issues over the funky-syphilis, and constant professions of love for Amanda all combined to making him a potential problem. Taking him out was probably a good move by Arnold and TwoElle. Of course, they also bear the responsibility of letting him into the house in the first place.... Let's hope he gets help and stays the frell away from Amanda. Amanda -- Evicted. Too bad, too, and had the vote been 48 hours later, she probably would have stayed. Most of the HGs seem to actually like her, and Live Feeders seemed to want to keep her around for a while, even before 'The Event.' Amanda, of course, becomes forever one half of the answer to a pop-culture trivia question being the first woman on a major US network to have sex in front of the camera. She may also be in the running for dumbest reality-show contestant, however, as she only got down and dirty with the boy from the 'in-crowd' *after* the votes were cast. At least no one can suggest she did it for votes, which overall is probably a good thing. Glad she went out uninhibited and having fun. Alison -- Wow, this girl is hard to get a take on. Or is that just 'hard to take?' None too bright ("the Atlantic ocean is that one between England and Spain"), she does at least seem to be playing the game. I say 'seem,' because I feel she's more about playing her real-life current boyfriend. Seems she is on a summer flirt party, trying to get it on with any of the cute boys if they'll have her. If not, she'll call strategy and say all is justifiable. What-ev-ah. Hanging with her two wicked-step- sisters Jun and Dana, together forming Nathan's Harem, Alison is lampreying her way into the mid-game via SharkyNate. It will probably work, but there is little to like about this sorority girl—and I do mean 'girl,' as I don't think she has the maturity or savvy to truly be called 'woman.' Dana -- Think of Dana as a less sophisticated, gruffer version of Dani from last year. She's got a big old Frito-Lay chip on her shoulder, and from the first night, when Jee took 'her' cot, this woman has been all about the confrontation. Well, not *all* about confrontation—she also is about the back-stabbing, gossiping and paranoia. It would not be shocking to see her play herself into a nomination with her running about and talking to everyone who'll listen, slamming them all out of earshot. If the 'original 7.5' breaks down, look for Dana to be one of its first targets as she's not half as attractive to the men as she wants to be, has already been labeled 'ManTroll' by the classy boys, and is distrusted by even her stepsisters. Dana really needs to back off and tone down her 'above-the-radar' game. She'd do well to take heed of ol' Billy's advice, "Cool it with a baboon's blood, then the charm is firm and good." David -- Living up to his unit's motto: ‘Rangers lead the way,’ RangerDave demonstrated superior knowledge of battlefield strategy and tactics. Proving that a good offence always probes the enemy, finds an opening, and then sends forth a powerful thrust, RangerDave and his little Tsun-Szu became the other half of the 'first-to-get-busy' Hamster coupling. Even in spite his Clausewitzy finishing maneuver, Dave remains relatively high on most everyone's likeability scale—he’s much, much better than his pre-show commercial promotion antics would have indicated (Scott stole that thunder anyway). If Dave can keep his brain cells active even after his dead-man-sinking stunts, he's in a very good position to move deep into the game having a relatively stable agreement working with Jack and Erika. Erika -- Erika isn't in a great position. Despite being a Live Feeder favorite, and despite showing more intelligence and real-world maturity than most of her Hamster friends, Erika made the sin of isolating herself somewhat from the others during frosh-week. As a result, her RatBastard ex Robert has become more in-with- the-in-crowd than Erika is. All is not lost, however, as the Big E has established a seemingly solid and under-the-radar alignment with Jack and David. Therefore if some of the cards fall right in the next two weeks, and the internal cracks in the harem (pun not intended) fracture that group, look for Erika to pick up the pieces of her early stumbles. Jack -- Jack is in the box and he's under the radar. Jack looks a lock to get at least to mid-game as no one has him on their radar yet and he's not on anyone's bad side. Jack's advice to all is to shut-up and listen. He's doing a fairly good job of it, though with the mental pip-squeaks he's in the Habitrail with, he has to guard against over-confidence and the desire to flaunt his game-understanding. So far, so good for our foxy FBI dude, though if he was into forensics he may be busy for weeks in the HOH room collecting samples... Jee -- Jee the wiz. Jee managed to lull his way through his first nomination, and then came through to snag HOH from the cool kids. We'll see where Jee goes this week, but he's likely going to lay the groundwork for his own demise as dollars-to-donuts says he'll want to be seen as one of the cool group and do what they tell him to do. An early departure for Jee won't be that shocking, however, as had the group had another couple of days to make the choice, Amanda might have been kept over bad-hair-cut Jee. Let's hope to the Space Muffin that Jee makes his own choices and doesn't get played by the playahs. Just don't hold your breath. Jun -- I don't think I will ever look at the start of summer the same. First, BB starts the summer out by introducing me and thousands of other Live Feeders to this petty, back-stabbing, nail-filing, snack-munching, hanger-on stepsister, and then they go and pronounce her name like that glorious end-of-school month June. Yeesh, way to ruin it for us Arnold. Yeah, Jun is hanging with Dana and Alison, who as a group all are stuck like tentacles to Nathan. Jun is a bad reproduction of Dana and doesn't miss a chance to diss her stepsisters when they are out of the room. This attitude and lack of game-skill will likely see her in the bad graces of a number of players before long. She may be another early-mid game evictee. Justin -- Justin is cruising, but his physical stature and rumored genius status has him on a lot of people's radar. He's regarded in the house as a decent guy, however, and this will likely keep him in good stead for a few weeks. Also, he seems less likely to play a leading role in the coming Alpha-Male confrontation between Nathan and Dave or Jack. If he can avoid that, he'll do much better. Michelle -- ...............................like ...............................................preen..................................... like..........................................ya know? Pout. Nathan -- Nathan and the skanky harem dirtied the HOH room long before Dave and all his bodily fluid came *ahem* on the scene. Nathan is eye candy but little more. He thinks quite highly of himself and has effectively told other guests so. "Maybe I'll be a congressman." Confidence, that's what a chiseled jaw will do for ya. But old Nate might be too high on radar right now, and his harem is so obviously a Self-Destructo group of harpies, that Nate's lot may be cast with the wrong group. Look for this Okie from Muskogee to try to leverage his charm and charisma, have his defender watch for others to see through the drawling smokescreen, and try to work him into a mid-game nomination. Robert -- RatBastard is not liked by most Live Feeders. Hearing he and the other miscreant men expound on women they'd like to 'pound' was gross enough, but when Robert actively plotted to get Amanda drunk in order to take advantage of her in that state, his Ick-Factor level went to maximum warp. Yeah, I'm a geek, but this guy gives skanky men a bad name. Unfortunately, he's more popular among HGs than his ex, but look for someone to catch on at some point and vote this cad out on his predatory ass. Good riddance.