This one is going to be a real quick one, folks! Time, time, time, see what’s become of me…

Just after eight in the morning, BB is already prodding the HGs awake, much to their displeasure. A food competition is imminent, however, and they have to get their shapely bums out to the LR to wait like good boys and girls. Before the inevitable FOTH, we see a giant cashier sign, a hanging skillet with a whisk in it, both of semi-gargantuan size, and a counter with various foods (such as French fries and Spaghettios) lined up upon it. Jee practices his food competition speech and we learn that the competition will not be a physical one and that the there will be two teams, one red and one blue. We head to FOTH then and see Amanda outside being interviewed (wonder what their choice of conversation is, hmmm?).

To our surprise, we come back from FOTH in time to see the competition (sometimes they let us, sometimes they don’t; today they must have been in a generous mood). I’m going to keep this quick: it appears that the competition involves digging around in a giant bowl of something, finding something, tasting it and guessing what it is (the speculation is that they have to guess the meat and vegetable in a casserole). The teams are as follows: Blue includes Dana, David, Michelle, Nathan and Robert; Red includes Alison, Erika, Jack, Jun and Justin. The vegetable/meat combinations are ham and cauliflower, venison and artichoke, etc.

Team Red wins, much to Nathan’s dissatisfaction. Much of his anger is directed toward Michelle who took her “sweet-ass time staring at the board.” David chooses a different approach to dealing with the realization that a week of PB&J is to come: he starts scarfing down his competition casserole. He stops, though, and with much humor and frustration in his voice yells, “This ***** sucks! Sucks my white ass, food!”

Half the house crawls back into bed at this point, while the other half flutter about doing the same old BB thing: engage in boring, idle chatter.

By noon everyone is up again. There must have been an announcement that nominations are soon because not only is that the topic of conversation as they mill about, but Jee heads to the DR for instructions. Game-talk ensues and woowee is there a lot of it. Forgive me for cheating today but point-form is the only thing that is going to get me out of here in time for work:

- We hear Erika comment as she primps, “I want to look good to be nominated.” She’s no dummy, folks, despite having certain inanimate parts…

- The boys want to let Michelle know that she is being nominated so she won’t freak out. Jee finally tells her and she cries. She wants someone else to be used as a decoy, and I cannot say that I blame her. Jee assures her, however, that no one will vote for her because she it too sweet—thus she makes the perfect decoy (oh you stupid, stupid people! If a decoy works at all, it is luck! Don’t think because it worked once that it is fool-proof, because you’ll be bitten on the ass if you’re so stupid).

- Jee believes the ultimate vote against Erika will be unanimous.

- Jack and Justin strike up a deal (wow): Jee will not put up David or Jack if neither of them put up Jee, Justin or Robert next week (c’mon, 2 to 3, that’s not fair) ~and~ agree to not veto Erika.

- Again, all factions distrust Dana, but the ruling faction this week (Jee and his cronies) don’t feel it is necessary to go after her yet.

- Everyone seems to agree that they will not use the veto if they get it (including Jack), but that they must vie for it in order to prevent Erika from getting it herself. Jee’s back-up plan, however, is to nominate Dana if the veto ~is~ used. An added benefit to getting rid of her early would be that she’d not be on the jury at the end of the game. No one is to know this plan but the Bert family (Ratbert, Jeebert and Justinbert) in order to prevent anyone from assuming to save Erika.

- Jack tells David that he has already agreed to the deal offered by Justin, but that David can still back out if he wants. Dave then goes to the Berts and tells them he doesn’t want to take the deal—he wasn’t going to save Erika anyway, and as long as Dana isn’t on the “protected list,” he’s cool. In the end, however, he strikes a semi-deal with them that pretty much says he won’t veto Erika this week as long as Jee agrees to put up Dana if Erika uses the veto on herself (Jee’s plan anyway).

- Alison tells David and Jack she won’t vote for Erika. She then tells Dana that Ratbert has approached David and Jack with a deal. Despite Dana professing her disbelief, she confronts Ratbert who says it is totally untrue. Dana seems satisfied, and when the Berts ask David why he told Alison about their proposed deal, he covers and says that he never did but that Dana is simply paranoid. They buy it. They also, however, consider putting David up against Erika—maybe to shake him up? Alison, meanwhile, goes to Jee to ask him that since Dana told her about the Berts and David and Jack striking a deal (which ~is~ a lie; Alison told Dana), does that mean she is a target since no one approached ~her~ with a deal? Jee assures her she is not, and I am left thinking, wow…good one, Alison.

- Justin is afraid they made a serious mistake revealing the Bert-alliance (you think? Come on, you knew he couldn’t be the smart one for nothing).

- Erika heads to the HOH room to tell Jee that she knows she will be nominated, but that it is “only a game” and she won’t hold any grudges against him. He is relieved and thinks it was “very big” of her to come to him like that.

- After much talk ensues (see above…lol), we overhear Dana say to Jee, “You’ve got to have a back-up plan,” and we laugh and hope that the Space-Muffin aligns the stars to boot her ass outta there this week.

As things settle down, the strategizing recedes into the usual chatter. Things to note: Jee respects Jun for not over-playing her game this week; he also says that she is very intelligent, much more so than many of his professors when they were together. Nathan and Robert comment on Alison who has the “best ass in the house,” but that it won’t stay that way for long—she has reached “maximum density” as it is (okay, I detest Nathan and Robert because…? Asses). Everyone’s nerves wear thin where Dana is concerned: “I’m so sick of her” and “I can’t stand that girl” are some of the comments that are overheard about her.

FOTH. It lasts over an hour. When we come back, it is clear nominations have occurred and Erika and Michelle are up. Jee is upset. He’s still trying to assure Michelle that she is safe. He apologizes over and over that he had to do it, but he wanted to ensure Erika’s eviction. Using Michelle as a decoy is the best way to do that, he argues. Later we also learn from Jee that the reason FOTH was so long was because there were problems with the nominations box and BB had trouble dealing with these “technical difficulties.”

If you think that strategizing is over for the day now that nominations are completed, think again. Things get stirred up when Jun tells Robert, after he comments how well Erika is taking her nomination, that Erika is handling it so well because she is confident she won’t be evicted. Robert is aghast when Jun further tells him that any of the original-8 alliance will veto her if they get a chance (huh? Doesn’t that include her then? This girl is still operating on alliances from yesterday). Hmmm. Despite Rob’s shock, he doesn’t seem to put much weight in what she says because he doesn’t immediately run to his henchmen and relate what she just told him. It seems as though Jun is just trying her best to throw the house into turmoil; she later approaches Dana and tells her that Nathan is “fed up” with her. To this, Dana replies with her usual posturing and crudeness: “He’s got balls the size of elephant nuts. Haven’t I done enough for that kid?”

The night then makes way for some tye-dying fun. Dana has an attack of the “vapours” (lmao), while Erika is more animated and talkative than we’ve ever seen her. There is hot-tubbing and munching (only for half of them!) and general chatter.

The important things to note as the night winds down:

- Erika tells Jack that she understands that he has to do what he has to do to stay in the game; she will harbor no hard feelings against him at all.

- Jun is surprised when Nathan tells her that if either Erika or Michelle use the POV, Dana will be nominated (this girl is on crack if she can’t realize that everyone in the house is sick of Dana by now).

- Justin “hangs” a blue elephant of Alison’s, and in retribution she dumps a pitcher of ice-cold water over him in the shower. A flurry of ice cube-throwing then ensues.

- Jun looks through their handbook and finds rules about nominations—in particular that the HOH is not to inform the house of who is to be nominated before the actual nominations. She is very soon afterward called to the DR (hopefully to get into trouble for being such a *****-disturber).

- Rob tells Jee that Jun knows about the back-up plan to nominate Dana, and this upsets Jee. They wonder where the leak is (morons, morons, morons). It is not long before Jun tells Dana. Dana, of course, angrily but calmly confronts the Berts and they deny it all. Though it is obvious that Dana is upset because she “cut ties” with her other alliance to join theirs and she doesn’t want them to “*****” her around, she is mollified quite easily by them. She then goes on to blame all the back-stabbing and gossiping on David. Of course, Jun (to Jee) later blames Michelle, so who really knows what the ***** is going on. Jun also tells Jee that David and Jack won’t stick to their deals with him (more *****-disturbing), and Jee is understandably angry. Much later Jee tells Alison that Jun told Dana about his back-up plan and Alison is upset. (He said she said be damned! This is more like he said she said he said she said he said she said and on and on ad infinitum!)

- Jack assures Erika that even though he won’t veto her (due to the deal), he won’t vote for her eviction, either. Erika thinks the Berts were dumb not to put two of them (David, Erika and Jack) up together, but all three are relieved it was so. David laughs that “they think they have us played.” They think they can tally up enough votes to oust Michelle, even though they know ***** will hit the fan the minute she is evicted.

The night ends with some Duckball and the usual chatter and plotting. By 2:30am, all the HGs make their way into their beds and settle down for the night. And so goes the days of our BB lives…

PS: I’m super sorry for the point-format but I’m SO out of time. ::Running to get to work on time…::