Good Morning Houseguests! This is your wake-up call! It’s 10:20am and everyone needs to get up! Chop-chop!

Houseguests! It is 10:30am! Get your asses out of bed ~now~! Okay, okay, so BB doesn’t exactly use those particular words, but their intent is clear. Despite there only being a brief FOTH and nothing much else important going on over the next half hour or so, BB isn’t letting the guests pull their usual nyum-nyum-I’ll- just-pull-these-blankets-back-over-my-head-and-ignore-you-zzzzzzzz. East Coasters must give BB a mental pat on the back on these mornings.

The first morning chatter revolves around the veto and what or what not certain HGs would do if they obtained it. The Berts (my term for Jee, Justin and Robert; Dana fits into this alliance only as long as it takes before they turn on her for good) seem to think that were Michelle to get it, she wouldn’t use it. As poster Phantom states, what are these people thinking? The current HGs are ~not~ Marcellas; with all the game-playing and back-stabbing occurring, I think it would be game-on for someone to use the veto on themselves—especially this week what with the numbers being in favor of an original-8 HOH next week.

Just before we cut to FOTH, David and Michelle monopolize all four feeds and while David attempts to draw her into conversation (and imitates a Chinese person in what appears to be very bad form as poster bruhe remarks), Michelle is working up to a crowning moment in petulant pouting. Perhaps the POV competition is imminent?

It could be! Around quarter to noon we go to FOTH, and the feeds don’t return until a little over an hour later. The first things we notice are Jun in the kitchen, where her feet are sprouting roots, I think, and Jack and Justin and some others in the backyard where a pond and a bridge are set up and the remnants of some Duckball action are in process. One poster notices that Dana is upset, and not soon after we learn that David has won POV! Woohoo, what could this possibly mean? If it is too soon to play his cards and use it, at least we will get to enjoy some what-ifs with this outcome. Of course Michelle thinks that “if she asks,” he will veto her. Jee, on the other hand, believes it’s all par for course: they’ll stick to the plan and the POV will not be used. It’s funny how the HOH always seems to think that they have the power to dictate how the POV will or will not be used. I suppose he or she ~does~ get to nominate someone in the vetoed position and that is threat enough, but he can’t nominate the person who holds the POV—thus were David to use it to save Erika, neither him nor her nor Jack (were Jee to stick to his word and not nominate him, for Jack never broke his deal with the Berts) and their mini-alliance of three would be intact for another week. Sure, there is a chance Jee would nominate someone else they’d not want up (Alison or Nathan), but there is also the chance that he would nominate Dana—and oh, what joy would that be! If they’re going to lose one of the original-8, it might as well be her; it might as well be any but the three of them, no?

But don’t think the others are going to sit idly by and let Jee rule—as soon as they can, David and Michelle approach Jee with the plan that they veto Erika and Jee nominate Dana. Michelle is willing to let Erika be the one saved as long as Dana goes up—I suppose she feels more confident against Dana than she does Erika (and Jee, listen up! That should tell you something!!). While Jee is holding out, wanting to “stick to the plan,” Michelle is doing a good job working on him. Meanwhile, Jack is telling Erika that he will lie to Jee and tell him that Erika is essentially the one who “saved” him in week one (whether this is a joke or not is unclear), and Alison is overheard whispering to Dana that she has nothing to worry about—Jee will not nominate her (this lie is not so hazy). It appears that everyone is doing their best to plot and scheme, but in the end Jee is having none of it: “I don’t mean to sound selfish, but I ~am~ HOH.” In other words, the POV is really mine and don’t cross me by using it, David—never mind that you or one of your alliance could win the HOH next week and axe me in a second. Geez. Don’t the Berts understand that they simply do not have the numbers to wield their temporary power in such a brazen manner? Well apparently they don’t, because it is not a few minutes later that Robert insists that they ~do~ have the numbers and will probably win HOH next week. Color me confuzzled by their lacking math skills.

Ooh, interesting comment interjected somewhere in the midst of this all that is worthy of note: Michelle seems to think that David, when push comes to shove, would “never choose Erika” over her. The X-factor is sure laying a blanket of delusions over many of the exes’ eyes.

In the kitchen, Jun is grilling up some PB&J sandwiches with cinnamon for the food-deprived HGs. While Michelle and Nathan are appreciative that someone else is making ~their~ food for them and trying to inject some originality into what will soon become their worst nightmare, Dana comments that there is too much jelly. Take your lessons from an old adage, Dana: don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Jun is pretty much your only friend in that house right now.

After some food, the HGs divvy up chores for the week. While some head directly to their tasks, others mill or lounge about in their usual way. Some of the interesting chatter overheard: Robert hasn’t let his daughter meet any of his girlfriends since Erika (when his daughter was 3). Dana thinks she did well with the POV competition considering she didn’t practice (she always has an excuse). Erika remarks to Jack that she doesn’t like how passively they are playing; hmm, could this nomination finally be scaring her a little bit? Whatever Erika’s motivations, Jack agrees. He says that David will tell Jee that while their deals were not to veto Erika, their votes remain their own. Since the numbers work in Erika’s favor, it will be in Jee’s best interest to allow David to use the POV so Jee can nominate Dana and prevent Michelle from being evicted. Now let’s just hope that David ~does~ tell Jee this. Jee seems to be closer than before to agreeing to putting Dana up and with a little more prodding—boom! Dana might get that square kick in the ass we’ve all been hoping for.

The situation is looking up as we overhear Robert advising Jee to go with it, as well. Who knew? But Rob seems to think that the threats of Dana either vetoing herself next week were she to be nominated (which seems to be a foregone conclusion if she is not evicted this week) and of her perhaps nominating two of the Berts were she to win HOH are too great to be ignored. Justin disagrees, however, and thinks that Dana won’t come after them, while Jee says he is “committed” to getting rid of Erika (Jee, Jee, you stupid HOH, you’ve done your part as HOH! The votes are the HGs to give to whom they choose!). Dana eventually comes in on the conversation to plead her case: she wouldn’t backstab them, she likes them better than anyone else in the house, she will be loyal to their alliance—the usual Dana blather. Once assured by them of their support, she moves on to posturing, choosing Nathan as her favored target: he knows he is going to “go” because he is after her “ass” (I…detest…listening to this woman think she is all that!).

As the afternoon winds down into evening, the male HGs turn the kitchen island into a makeshift ping pong table and have some good-natured fun with it. Jun plays a little bit but then sits on the sidelines watching and eating and eating and eating (must be hard, I have to say, to quit smoking cold turkey before entering that house—and I’d rather see her eating than sitting outside puffing on a coffin nail). When a lockdown is announced and the HGs are told to go to the backyard, they play basketball and marbles, exercise and talk more strategy. David approaches Michelle to discuss the POV and how he wants to use it, but of course Dana won’t allow this to happen and comes over to interrupt. Her choice of stimulating conversation: bitch about the lack of food, bitch about the bugs, bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. Bitch.

The lockdown is quickly over but the HGs mostly continue to hang out in the backyard. Dana and David idly chat before he decides to play HORSE with Michelle. The other non-eaters congregate on the basketball court and, as soon as Dana leaves, agree that Dana needs to go this week (this includes Robert who only stipulates that Erika, “the bitch,” has to go next week because he doesn’t want to be sequestered at the end with her; as he says, Erika “is pure evil and will kill your ***** family”). Meanwhile dinner is served by Jun in the kitchen and all the HGs who can eat it are eagerly digging in.

As soon as Robert gets a chance to talk to Jee alone, he recounts the basketball court conversation but twists it so it appears to have been all Nathan’s doing. When Robert tells Jee that Nathan told David (he said he said he said), “Dave, it’s all up to you,” Jee remarks, “No, it is not all up to Dave!” POV to Jee has all the power of the Queen in Canada: symbolically she holds all the power, but in truth she does nothing but nod her head to what the Prime Minister does. Yet the fact of the matter is that this analogy is fallacious; David ~can~ use that veto regardless of what Jee wants.

Jee finally gets some real balls, however; he calls David in and tells him that if the “house” screws him over by using the veto, what will stop him from screwing them over in return and nominating someone else than Dana? The conversation might get interesting, but who comes in but the ManTroll herself (I’m sorry; normally I don’t care for derisive monikers, but Dana is so damn annoying…). After David leaves, her words of wisdom run along the lines of: “When people act so hard about one person and worry so much about that person, there is a reason why they are so threatened.” Dana, they’re not threatened, they’re aggravated out of their minds by your constant bitching and moaning and back-stabbing!

Outside, Dave gives us hope when he tells Michelle that, regardless of what Jee wants, he is going to do as he see fits; if it gets him evicted soon, so be it. He will go home and enjoy some time with “his girl.” However, he does think it would be a good idea for everyone to go to Jee and tell him they want Dana out. On the heels of this thought, he returns to Jee and twists and throws an argument Jee used back in Jee’s face: if Jee nominated Erika with the belief that everyone wanted her nominated, then why won’t he nominate Dana with the same belief? Jee maintains his position like a good stubborn mule and remains unyielding even Nathan comes in to support David. Somehow, in Jee’s mind, he has worked as hard as “a horse” and risked “his life” to do what he did; he is not going to let anyone influence him but will play the game to his advantage. I think the supposed power of the HOH has corrupted Jee’s brain cells. Jack comes in at this point and the argument becomes even stronger: David and Jack can control Erika, while Dana is a wildcard. Furthermore, Erika is not nearly as good at competitions as Dana is. Jee, however, reiterates that if the veto is used, he won’t nominate Dana (I really think this has become more about Jee having his power questioned than it is about actual strategy, because all Jee is really doing is ensuring he will be a number one target in weeks to come).

When David and Nathan finally leave, the Berts congregate and believe that ultimately David will not use the veto. They realize that Erika must be an important part of the other side’s alliance if they are fighting so hard for her, but they still trust everything that David says. The others meanwhile are having a meeting of their own and deciding that, unfortunately, with Jee being so stubborn they have no choice but to vote Michelle out (note that at this point, though they have talked about telling Jee to let the veto be used or they will vote Michelle out, they have not actually done it). They agree Michelle is their weakest player and they have no other choice. Next week they have to go “balls out” to win HOH and get Dana out (I am only afraid that they will change their minds and go after one of the Berts; Dana might end up sliding through a couple more weeks). Before they head out to the kitchen to play some ping pong, they tell Erika that she is staying and she quietly looks pleased. When Jun tells Nathan and his allies that they have her vote, it appears that Erika will, indeed, be safe (Alison, David, Jack, Jun and Nathan = 5 votes).

Interesting tidbits of the evening to note: Alison calls Justin out on his alliance with Jee and Robert, but he only laughs it off (“why don’t you just put a ***** target on my back”). Later when in the HOH, he really rips into her for making the comments she did. Jee tells Dana that he had to assure David that if he didn’t use the veto this week, Dana wouldn’t nominate him next week were she to get HOH; she is rather surprised at this news. Justin defends Dana to Alison and says that she is only playing the game so hard because it has been a dream of hers since Year One to be on BB (really? Hmm, apparently she has applied all four years); he adds that she is actually “a pretty cool girl.” Still, essentially ~everyone~ agrees that she needs to go; the only discrepancy is in when (this week, next week).

When midnight strikes, the strategy talks suspend long enough for the HGs to gather and sing “Happy Birthday” to Jun. As the last couple of hours of the day unwind, the HGs play cards and chat. !!Warning!! Cover your eyes over this next part if you are shocked by vulgar sex talk. Michelle lets everyone know that she “didn’t give head when she was 15” (so does that mean she did when she was 16?), and that she doesn’t even really like it. She may be a virgin, folks, but I think when you’ve given head to “five” guys, the issue becomes a technicality. Jun admits to having had anal. David says that if he could “fist” a girl, he’d run in the other direction. Jun is the sole female to let a guy “shoot” into her hair. Ali’s first time was when she was 14; Dana was 16. No one fesses up to having had a threesome. David and Michelle have had phone sex (I don’t think they meant together). David likes to do it in places where there is a chance he will get caught (really?! Lmao…). Nathan has only been with two women, and Justin laughs that he had been with more than that by the time he was 14. Justin, apparently, munches a good *****, while David says he is not into that. And on and on and on.

There is some more strategy talk in the wee hours before bed, but nothing really stands out. Will David use the veto? Will Dana be nominated if he does? Will Erika be safe if he does not? Will Jun stick to their alliance? These are questions that are much talked about but not answered. By four in the morning, most everyone is snuggled in their beds (Jun in the HOH room for her birthday) and strategy will have to satisfy itself by playing in their dreams before it can resume its usual place as the reigning BB activity in the morning. And so the weekend begins.