It’s Eviction #2 Day! Time to get up and greet the day in anticipation, HGs! C’mon! Up and at ‘em! Can’t you hear me? Get up! It’s an exciting day! We’re going to get to see the Stooges’ castle toppled! Get up, get up, get up!

Well drat. They’re not listening to me, and BB is actually letting the hamsters sleep in until ~noon~ today. Up and about already are the usual, Erika, Jack and Jun, and when BB softly comes over the PA and says, “Good morning HGs. It’s time to get up for the day,” Jun sarcastically mocks, “Get up so you can have some stimulating conversations with your fellow HGs.” Apparently BB didn’t like this much because we were then treated to our first FOTH of the day.

Our first laugh of the day comes when Dana is complaining about the condom wrappers in the bathroom (from the balloons last night) and Jun remarks, “They must be David’s; he uses all the condoms in the house.” *Chuckle.* *Snort.* *Guffaw.* What fun the reunion show will be!

Our second laugh of the day comes when Jee comments that the “internet people” are taking snapshots of him. That’s not caps, folks, but snapshots—he actually believes that a clicking noise he keeps hearing is caused by internet people controlling the cameras and taking snapshots of them. Oh, Jee, Jee, Jee… They are right that there are people waiting out there to capture still images the second “a girl is naked;” but we don’t control the cameras. If we did, there’d be no FOTH! Oh, and Jee? There are people out there who will capture the guys naked, too!

The men then fall to talking about what they will wear for the live show today. Jee insists that he won’t dress up. According to him, you only have to look good if you are a nominee and in danger of going out. As HOH, he can dress any way he likes. He then goes on to comment how Nathan is the worse HOH of the two of them because he put up two weak players, while Jee put up too strong players (uh-huh, okay).

Around one o’clock, the HGs are called to a meeting by BB and there is a FOTH for a half an hour—could be rehearsals for this afternoon? When we come back, however, nothing much seems to have happened. HGs are lounging around, eating, drying their hair, etc. Soon there is chatter amongst the original alliance about what is looming this afternoon. Nathan asks Dana if she is “cool” with everything; she says she is. He also remarks that it is going to get crazy, that ***** is going to hit the fan. After all, they have the numbers, the smarts and the athletic ability. (Numbers are precarious; the athletic ability is fairly equal, I’d say; as for smarts, I didn’t realize they existed in that house independent from Jack.)

A little while later, Nathan whispers to Jun that he caught Dana and Justin “making out.” Jun reacts with displeasure (makes puking noises) and tells him not to tell Alison—for despite Alie’s protests otherwise, I think Jun knows exactly how much of a jealous creature Alie can be.

At four o’clock, while some of the HGs sit gathered in the LR, the feeds cut to FOTH. When they cut back for a few minutes an hour and a half later, we see Michelle dabbing bronzer on Nathan’s face. Unfortunately this is all the excitement we are going to get, because the lovely front door returns to greet us once more and it is not until after the show is completed that our feeds come back.

Of course, by now, everyone knows that Michelle was evicted by a vote of 6-2 and that Dana acquired the coveted position of HOH. As we come back, several things are going on. Out in the BY, most of the HGs are grouped together and Justin and Robert are laughing about how well they were duped. Yes, folks, two of the Stooges took the upset quite well, despite their shock. They laughed at how well they were “gotten,” and when most of the original alliance stayed quiet in discomfort (or glee) while Curly and Moe chuckled, Robert said quite sincerely, “You don’t have to act like it is so personal! It’s just a game!” The others chill a bit and listen in humor to Justin and Robert talk about how they thought the announcement was a mistake at first or that perhaps some of the HGs had mistakenly voted the wrong way in the DR. Justin then realizes that his taped goodbye to Michelle wasn’t very sincere because he never thought she’d be evicted, and Robert gasps in shock, “I didn’t even tape one!”

Dana, meanwhile, alternates between giggling over “all the announcements for competitions” she will now have to do and sadness for poor Michelle. While Robert maintains that it was actually a good thing that she went out without the anxiety of believing she’d go out, Dana believes that it was worse because “she was hit in the face with a brick.” To be honest, Dana actually looks really upset about this. That is, until she starts playing with her HOH key and starts giggling again.

Inside, David is wandering around doing normal David things (which means weird), and as he goes he is singing, “Psycho bitch got it. Psycho bitch got HOH” to the tune of Winter Wonderland before he simply starts yelling, “Mother *****” over and over again. Apparently David is not so happy about the HOH competition outcome. He vocalizes his worries when Erika comes in and he asks, “Do you think she’d swing if I ***** her?” Even though the 6-2 vote was a good thing that showed they were all allied, he doesn’t trust her to stick to the alliance now that she has the power of HOH.

And, oh, how that power restores confidence to the ManTroll! Not soon after Erika and Jun join David in the kitchen, Dana strides in and in a firm voice with only the slightest lilt to it says, “All right, so who was in on getting me put up for nomination with the POV this week? Come on, I am asking everyone in front of everybody until someone cracks.” David stumbles over a reply, which amounts to him insisting he told the truth—the Stooges ~had~ vowed to put her up this week. What is Dana’s response? “I am this game’s worst nightmare. Everyone is about whispering, but I am going to have everything in the open.” She then punctuates her words by tapping her finger on the kitchen island and says, “I ~had~ to win this HOH.”

As soon as Dana is alone with Justin, she tells him that now there is no longer a majority in the house. There could be, but she will see to it that there isn’t. Looks like Dave was right to be worried. Mostly Dana babbles on about how she has achieved her goal—she will get to be on the jury at the end, and thus sequestered (she can’t be voted off next; thus she has made it to the final 9, which is as far as you need to go to make the jury).

And what about Jee this entire time? Well, Jee hasn’t been looking so happy. In fact, Jee remarks what we’ve all been thinking, “I am ***** retarded. I don’t know nothing.” You said it, Jee. He talks to the other Stooges about what went down, and none of them are taking it too badly. Apparently Jack has already apologized, and they all agree that what happened was one of the best strategic moves made in BB history. Dave joins the convo, and Justin treats us to a re- enactment of his reaction: when he heard the news, he looked at David, who looked surprised as well. He then thought that he and David must have been the two votes and was even more confused that Robert would have turned on him then. Though they all know now that David’s reaction was obviously a lie, they take it as a good joke and laugh.

Remember that Nathan said he had caught Dana and Justin making out? Well, now Jun is telling everyone that ~Nathan~ was swapping spit with Michelle last night. Justin and Robert confirm this saying they heard it, too. It only lasted about fifteen seconds, according to Michelle (she told Jun before), but it was supposedly very good. Jun jokes that Nathan pulled a “David,” and that he and Dave are “the ***** farewell party!” Nathan insists that there was no tongue involved, and Justin yells, “Am I supposed to believe you after what just went down in here?!” Good point, Justin.

Speculation over who will be nominated is the event of the night. Jun believes Dana will nominate Dave or Jee. She also remarks when Nathan says that Dana is going to drive everyone nuts that “things are going to get ugly.” Erika, on the other hand, must have absorbed some naïve-cooties from sitting too close to Michelle, because she thinks that Dana will stick with them since she voted with them. No one else seems convinced. Smart folks, for once, because exactly while they are having this conversation, Dana is burping up the beans about the original alliance to Robert. She tells him point-blankly that he cannot trust any of them and now he has to know that she was right. Robert, unfortunately (though not surprisingly), seems a little slow on the uptake.

Oh well, hoping that the Stooges could take the “treason” of the household that day as mature adults only lasted long enough to fill a couple of paragraphs: already Jee is bitching, “They ***** with the wrong people.” It has hit him “to (his) heart;” what they did to poor Michelle was wrong. He tells the other two Stooges that if any of them are evicted, they must be avenged! (Forget Dream Team; I think Jee wants to be a superhero now!) You’d think, however, that they would be partially appeased with Dana’s acquirement of the HOH, but Justin remarks all too soon, “She’s on a damn power trip—more than before!” One week…one week we have of this… *Sigh* says me.

At nine-thirty in the evening, the HGs get their promised meal and food goes flying as they chow down on the feast (for feast it is for the PB&J-cursed HGs). They also have to fill out forms for BB about what foods they like (seven things) that will then be used for tomorrow’s food competition. They wonder what they should ask for: prepared meals or more generic items? Much talk about it and what the competition tomorrow will entail ensues.

After dinner, Dana and Erika have a chat on the couch, and it is nice to see Erika open up a bit (even if it seems suspicious that it just ~happens~ to occur on the night Dana wins HOH). They discuss what is really important: their families and friends on the outside. Dana then says about the HGs in general, “I don't care who you are. You will be small and lose yourself. On the outside, I don't care what you think of me. I don't want you to like me. That's what my friends are for. They love me regardless.” Erika agrees and admits that a part of her thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to go home to her loved ones. She then takes the opportunity to attack Robert in a back-handed sort of way by saying she will not stoop to his level and say nasty things about him as he has been saying about her. Dana replies that what Robert has been doing is “immature.” Erika nods and remarks that she hopes people watching know she doesn’t “go around killing people’s families.”

Dana heads off to her HOH room, which she has already taken over in grand style, and begins whispering with Jun about which alliance to side with. Jun urges Dana to consider the original five; she believes that it would be easier to win competitions against them towards then end than it would be to win them against the Stooges. Dana rebuts this and says that she worries about the Stooges targeting her for siding with the original alliance, but Jun retorts that if Dana defects to the other side, the remnants of the original alliance will gun for her even more than they would the Stooges. Sometime during this confab, Erika walks in and makes a valid point about the women needing to get together for a meeting just like the men have been doing—there are, after all, only four of them left. They discuss whom they want up on the block, and various male HG names are bantered about. What is clear is that Dana actually likes Robert much to Erika’s displeasure; she distrusts “someone(s)” in the alliance, but won’t say whom; and the women, including Dana, want the next eviction to be a guy, because it would “suck for it to be another girl to leave.”

Back to the Stooges now, who are getting angrier and angrier as the night goes on: Robert complains bitterly, “I can’t believe they’re all that stupid to ***** with us. Those ***** people are ***** (meow!). Alie is such a shady mother *****…and Dave’s a piece of *****, too.” What happened to the chuckles and not taking it personally?

A few tidbits of the night to note: Dana points out a piece of tape on the wall and says she was told to look at it when “talking to Julie” so the cameraman can zoom in correctly. The women try hard to convince Dana that the men on their side (Dave, Jack, Nathan) are trustworthy, but Dana isn’t lapping up their milk and honey as they wish she would. She tells them that she knows if any of them had won HOH, they would have put her up against Justin (they all, of course, deny this). Despite this, she adamantly affirms that one of the Stooges will “go next week.” She is thinking in particular about nominating Jee and Robert (or so she tells the women) and justifies promoting Robert’s eviction by saying that “they say he doesn’t want to be sequestered anyway.”

By midnight the HGs are trooping through their hygienic routines of the night. We overhear someone ask Justin if he is “sleeping in there tonight” (the HOH) and he replies, “I don’t know, but I am sure I will one night this week.” His confidence is only surpassed by Jun’s confidence in him for she tells Alie that Justin will be sleeping in there all week. Alie doesn’t seem too thrilled at this news. Erika and Jack confer on the night’s proceedings and she tells him that she is fairly sure that Dana will nominate Jee and Ratbert; she thinks that even though Dana is so loud-mouthed and cocky, that she won’t act too ballsy for fear of retaliation the next week.

But don’t underestimate a Mantroll pissed off—because as they speak, Dana and Justin are engaging in a little massage and a little talk in the HOH room. Seems harmless enough, but Justin is telling her that the original alliance seriously wanted her out this past week. When Dana counters that she was told it was only a ploy for strategy’s sake, Justin tells her that is utter bull-*****. He is very frank and very sincere, and it isn’t hard to see that he is sowing a serious seed of doubt in a mind fertile for paranoia. He even offers to call everyone out on their lies for her. While she listens to what he has to say, and she assures him that she will not nominate him (she says she won’t do the rest of the house’s “dirty work”), she doesn’t say that she won’t nominate the other two Stooges. Hmm. She does say, however, in front of both Jun and Justin that she doesn’t believe the “five course meal of ***** that Alison just fed her.” They all agree and a new alliance seems to be forming…

Alison and Nathan, meanwhile, are partaking in their own massage and strategy talk, but there really isn’t anything interesting to note (well, Alison says she doesn’t trust Jun, but that’s not such a surprise). Things seem to be trudging along in a rather unremarkable way until FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

It starts off with Dana deciding that tonight, her night of coronation, is the night to confront Alison and Nathan. In particular, she attacks Nathan about the comments he has made about her, and Nathan scrambles to get out of it by blaming it on Alison (she is in the room during this). There is some arguing about him playing all sides, about him wanting her nominated this past week, but he maintains that he just wants to stick to the alliance as long as they can. There is more arguing, but it is really too confusing for me to translate here…it basically boils down to Dana being pissed that they all ganged up and targeted her last week and then lied to her about it (as Justin told her, they all went as a group to Jee to fight for the use of the veto). When Nathan ultimately tries to tell her that she has to stick with them, she storms out of the room.

The feeds now show Dana with Jun, who is telling Dana that she can’t trust Justin ~or~ the alliance and that her and Dana have to stick together. Dana continues to fume—she is upset that they all think she is such an idiot, but Jun plays their advocate and tries to split Dana’s anger between the two factions. Suddenly we hear yelling off the feeds we are focused on and it soon becomes apparent that there is another heated argument occurring between Alison and Justin. What comes through loud and clear: Alison: “Don't make it look like I'm kissing her ass! No more than with Jee. I went in Jee's room twice last week. Don't make me out like I was all in that *****!” Justin: “You’re telling lies!” Alie: “Shut up!” Okay, so it is not a particularly clever fight, but it is a fight nonetheless. On it goes. Justin: “You're lying! You lie to my face!” Alie: “That is BS! I never lied to you.” Justin (sarcastically): “That's why I was so shocked I was a target? THIS IS A GAME! Alie: “What are you talking about? You're making it like it's something it's not!”

When it is over and the involved parties retire to their dens of iniquity, there is talk about the fights in mostly quiet tones. How anti-climatic, I know, but it’s what they do. Alison has told Justin that she doesn’t want him to talk to her ever again while they are in the house, and they both look angry enough to spit nails. Other HGs have been laughing silently to themselves over it; Robert says, “This is great.” The house falls to chatter in the aftermath and as Alison heads to bed, clutching her blue elephant, several HGs gather in the LR to play cards.

Of course, Alison can’t stay out of the loop long and she heads to the HOH room where the other women are congregating and chatting. Not much happens until Dana suddenly decides that she wants to talk to Robert and only Jun is allowed to remain. The other women are shooed out and Robert herded in where he is immediately put on the spot. Dana wants the truth from him ~now.~ He tells her basically that everyone but he, Jee and Justin wanted her out; in particular, he bashes Alison and Erika (the women, of course; if Jun weren’t there, she’d be on his list, too) and say that they were the most vocal in wanting Dana out. He says over and over that he is telling the complete truth and he doesn’t care what the others think, and Dana is eating it up. She tells him that she “could go with the numbers,” but that she doesn’t like them. Robert keeps slathering on the honey and says that he wouldn’t mind be ousted by her because he respects her (*gag*) and that Dana, Jun, Justin and Robert would make a good alliance who will not target one another. At the end of it all, Dana declares confidently that she knew it had been all bull-***** that the Stooges had wanted her out next (stupid, stupid Dana; she’s like the unpopular kid who just wants to be liked).

So now Dana wants to put up Alison. The men are, much to my horror, successfully turning the women against each other. Every ***** year. *Sigh.* Oh yeah, and Ali and Justin are arguing again… Can you tell how enthused I am about it? Well, for the record, it has to do with the game, but the undercurrents are definitely tensions built from their past relationship. Mostly Alison just doesn’t want to see Justin “rubbing up on other women” in her presence. So much for not being jealous.

It’s now time for me bed. I regret that I cannot keep up with the drama in the house (Jee is now working on Dana and trying to convince her that the Dark Side is essentially evil), but I’m falling asleep at the keyboard and fear that I may start blathering even worse than I have been. I think it is mostly safe to say that the house is in chaos and if you want a more detailed version than what has been presented here, head on over to updates. I’m heading to Slumberville and only hope that the HGs soon follow.

Till tomorrow.