It’s Day 17 of the feeds and Dana is HOH—so really, if you don’t like that I’m not impartial and throw in commentary once in awhile, buck up. There are going to be a lot of “ManTrolls” peppered throughout these paragraphs…

To revisit the remnants of last night, since the hand of sleep gripped me before it did the HGs: Dana decided that, as HOH, it was her duty to go around being obnoxious and demanding explanations from everyone. As was to be expected, she gnawed out her home for the week with the Stooges later in the evening with Jun close by her side (she calls Jun her “First Lady;” hmmm…). Despite giving the appearance for about, oh, ten seconds that she wasn’t going to ally herself but simply “shake the house up,” she made her choice obvious by whom she chose to attack (Alison and Nathan) and whom she chose to listen to with blinders over her eyes (the Stooges). She regurgitated over and over that she doesn’t “***** trust anyone in that house,” but I think she will sum up to do a very good job of trusting the exact wrong people in that house—which, actually, makes me giggle in glee.

As last night wound down, Dana had a long conversation with David that gave us some hope; in it, David told the truth ~except~ for maintaining the lie that wanting to use the veto in order to have her put on the block was a ploy. Dana seemed to accept what he was saying, but we should know better by now. The Paranoid Queen eats everything everyone says and then goes directly over to the Stooges to vomit it all up and have her belly scratched. Several times during this conversation Justin came in to tell Dana how late it was getting (I suppose he was looking for some bedtime cuddling action), but Dana insisted on finishing her conversation with David, and anyway, she asked Jun to sleep with her in the HOH that night. Before snuggling down to sleep, however, we overheard Dana tell Alison that she will stick to the alliance and nominate two of the Stooges. Of course, Dana also told Alison that their little love-triangle going on with Justin isn’t a source of concern for her, and we know that that is an out-and-out lie (but don’t feel bad for Alison—there wasn’t a whole lot of truth brimming from her lips, either).

By four in the morning, Jun had fallen asleep somewhere else in the house (I guess she finally got tired of baby-sitting Dana; still, to last that long, she’s got stamina) and Justin took her place by the HOH's side. Though little compliments are thrown in (“I like you with your glasses on; it’s so natural. I find glasses sexy,” and “You have a washboard stomach”), Justin took the opportunity for game talk rather than romance. He told her that if she can trust anyone other than him in the house, it is Jee and Robert. *Sigh.* She fed right into his hand as she told him that the “elite” are her target. And so went the night that would not seem to end until…

About three and a half hours later. Ha! There will be a food competition in thirty minutes (at 8:30am) and BB cheerfully wakes up the sleep-deprived HGs who must get up and get their booties in gear. The truly crazy thing is that Jun is already up and getting ready when the wake-up announcement sounds. I agree with her that some of the other HGs are lazy-asses, but this is just…weird. There is a brief FOTH as everyone wakes up and BB gives them their instructions for the competition, but we come back in time for the competition itself. The HGs are dressed in camouflage board-shorts and bikinis, which might be candy for our eyes but the HGs complain: Erika says specifically that they are ~not~ eye candy (ha! And you were all chosen for your stellar personalities) and Alison worries that her “boobies keep falling out” of her top.

The rules of the food competition are easy: they will have army helmets with which to catch little parachuting “army men” that will be hurled over the walls into the backyard. The army men are really different-colored capsules that represent different foods. Once one touches the ground, it is no longer in game play. There are gold capsules that represent the special foods they picked out last night, such as a daily Burger King lunch. When Dana reads this bit of news, by the way, the HGs aren’t suitably excited for the treat sponsored by the fast food giant (one of them even complains, “Burger King?!) and after a momentary FOTH (which shows us Michelle being interviewed outside), Dana rereads the news and everyone bursts into cheering. Way to pull a fast one over on us, BB. *Eyes- rolling.*

The competition gets under way and there is a lot of laughing and a lot of scrambling for the capsules, many of which, despite their efforts, are strewn all over the backyard. Once the capsules stop falling and the competition is over, the HGs take turns opening their capsules and reading what they’ve won. They appear to have a good variety of foods; to name only a few: sausage, steak, liver, lamb, shrimp, ostrich burgers, alligator, bacon, nuts, spaghetti, skim milk, sour cream, margarine, marshmallows, chocolate ice cream, cake mix, bagels, pita bread, tortilla chips, corn flakes, granola, many vegetables and fruits, dressings, seasonings and herbs, beer and wine and sports drinks, and the Burger King lunches. They then rifle through the capsules they missed and see that they lost out on getting lobster this week (I think they will survive).

To celebrate, the HGs get their Burger King lunches right away (it’s not even ten in the morning yet). Alison complains, “Oh, this is so gross to eat at nine-thirty in the morning,” and a round of shut-ups chorus through the kitchen—after all, Alison wasn’t one of the ones on PB&J last week. They all, including her, dig eagerly in and only hope that tomorrow they can pick what they get.

You’d think that with the lack of sleep, the exertion of the competition, and the full bellies of fast food that the HGs would head back to bed, but it is the day of nominations and no time is to be lost! Nathan zones in on Dana early and pushes for the original alliance; he warns her that if she sticks with them she has a guaranteed three weeks, but if she turns her back on them she might go next week. She counters this with the fact that she will have the Stooges’ votes (she hopes) and that in all reality she likes Justin and Robert just too darn much to nominate them. Of course, she also states that she still trusts Alison, Nathan and Jun—contrary to everything else she says, including that she cannot trust ~anyone~ in the house. I think poster KimM sums it up best when she writes, “This woman is nuts.” Ultimately she says she only wants to look out for herself and cannot trust the original alliance to not stab her in the back. When Nathan assures her that he will make sure they look out for her, she retorts that he doesn’t have near the influence he thinks he has. Okay, maybe she is smarter than she seems—though a lot of her actions right now are based in emotion over how she was shunned, she feels, last week. “I want to ***** people over before they can do it to me.”

Alison, meanwhile, provokes a brief FOTH when she mutters angrily, “I’m going to throw up. Don’t give me a ***** Whopper and Onion Rings at 9:45 in the morn—” and she is cut off. Tsk-tsk, show better appreciation for your sponsors, Alie!

Around eleven o’clock we learn from Dana and Jun’s conspiring that nominations will be held this afternoon. We also hear, much to MY dismay, that as far as she knows now, Dana will nominate David and Jack. Of course, when Justin pops into the HOH and Dana asks him whom he thinks should be nominated, he suggests Alison and Jack. Alison, he says, is like Nathan who will say anything to go with the numbers, and she is also a very strong player who can win competitions—so don’t think any lingering bad feelings from their relationship influence this choice (ha!). Jun has by this time moved on to the Blue Room where she tries to warn Jack of his impending nomination in a roundabout sort of way. She tells him that though she trusts the alliance more than she does the “other side,” Dana does not and will most likely nominate two from the elite. She later tells Dana that she spoke to Jee and it was certain that the Stooges were going to nominate Dana this week (Jun is playing a good game). Dana, however, lets this roll off her back and says, “Fine, but it’s a new game now.”

Afternoon tidbits of interest: Nathan tells Alie that his member is named “Anaconda.” When Dana says that she forgot to take her “pill,” Jack jokes, “Don’t worry, I’m shootin’ blanks!” Apparently after Jack’s sixth kid, he had a vasectomy. Dana tells Alie that ~everyone~ is up for grabs in her nominations-decision except for Jun, because Jun is the one who has lied least to her. The others ask her why did she bother to vote with the alliance if she won’t stick with it now, and she remarks that it happened so suddenly that she didn’t have time to really think it through. Now, however, that she is in a position of power, she will play the game to her advantage; in fact, when Alison points out that they need to get rid of the “threats” in the game (Justin, for example), Dana emphatically replies, “Yes, but threats to ME. That’s what you guys need to understand!” And what Dana obviously doesn’t understand is that a player cannot play that kind of game so early on in the game—she’s only placing a neon sign flashing “EVICT ME” on her forehead.

Tidbits continued: Alison wants Justin out. She knows that he will turn on her, and since she is “the ***** one who brought him into the house,” she wants to “***** take him out.” Dana tells Robert that she is going to nominate Alison and Jack with the intent to evict Alison. David and Jack make a last-ditch effort to save the alliance, but are met with a wall of resistance as Dana says, “I am not looking out for six other people. I am not looking out for three people. I am not looking out for Justin. I am looking at what is best for me.” (Okay, okay…evil…forces…are…taking…me…over…because I actually respect that! I still think it is a stupid game-play, however.) Jun tells Nathan that she is sticking with the numbers—lol, which means for now she is still with the alliance. Jack warns Dana to stop the “kissy-swapping-spit” with Justin or it will cloud her head. Jack also tells Dana that Robert remarked at the HOH competition how “that bitch has got to go” (meaning Dana), but Robert denies it effusively when Dana asks him; though Alison, David and Jack will all confirm it, Robert chalks it up to them all being against him. And why wouldn’t they be when he says things like this about Erika: “That ***** whore! I’m going to ***** slap the bitch!” And yet within an hour the rat is literally lying in bed ~crying~ and talking to Erika about how he doesn’t want to be sequestered. Am I the only one to yell, “Then LEAVE, Robert, LEAVE!” Don’t worry, we’ll be fine without you; in fact, I’ll pop some champagne and dance a little jig with pure, unbridled happiness!

Just after two in the afternoon, Dana decides to take a shower. As the cameras follow her about in the bathroom, she bites at BB, “Stop being all up in my business.” When they continue to move about and follow her, she threatens to sing; sure enough when she does, the feeds switch to FOTH. Hmm, methinks BB needs to have a talk with her in the DR…

Alison and David take this Dana-less opportunity to bash her. Alie admits that in the DR she always refers to Dana as “ManTroll,” while David remarks that there probably isn’t a single DR entry of his in which he doesn’t refer to her as “bitch” or “psycho-bitch.” He then says she looks like a wombat. Apparently this is not bad enough, however, because Alison takes it a step further and says she looks like “Minnie Mouse on crack.” Erika takes David’s place and the bashing turns to play-talk: Alie considers putting Dana up against Jun next week because neither of them can be trusted. Erika is surprised at this, but says that her game-focus is shifting because Dana “is really starting to piss (her) off.” Alison then veers off strategy and starts to diss her own body and all the “cellulite” she has and Erika, as Alison expects no doubt, immediately tells her that she has a lovely body and needn’t worry about it. (Btw, Alie also mentions that she put Michelle’s dress—the one she wore for her eviction—into storage to give it back to her.)

There’s been a lot of talk and jokes directed at Jun on the boards for her eating habits, but generally this hasn’t been the case ~inside~ the house—that is until today when Jee cracks the following after someone asks where Jun is: “I don’t know, but I bet when the food shows up she’ll come out.” Looks like her penchant for munching hasn’t gone unnoticed. As I’ve said before, however, I’d rather see her snacking than killing herself with cigarettes. Dana and Justin meanwhile are in the HOH room where she lies down to let him scratch her back and their conversation wanders over the many usual topics they visit. Robert, they believe, ~is~ all he claims to be (a big ladies-man, etc.). Alison and Justin’s relationship was “nothing”; they were only “*****-buddies.”

At 4:00pm we go to FOTH and when the feeds return twenty minutes later, one of the cameras is playing with the memory wall. Speculation abounds on the board that nominations must have occurred, but one bright soul points out that all ten keys are still on the wall. Suddenly we see a woman, who is clearly not a HG, in the house adjusting the pictures and talking into a walkie-talkie. The HGs are apparently on lockdown outside, but it only lasts a few minutes and soon enough the mystery woman disappears and the HGs resume their haunt of the house. It’s not long before we once again go to FOTH, however, and this time when the feeds come back at quarter to six it is obvious that nominations ~have~ occurred.

Through simple deduction (Alison is the only one in bed with the covers pulled up to her chin and Jack comments that he will eat all the pretzels before Wednesday), we learn that Alison and Jack are nominated. Dana wastes no time in telling her cronies that there must be “no mistake; all four of you vote her out.” She means, of course, Jee, Jun, Justin and Robert. Nathan meanwhile is trying to console Alie and telling her to “keep cool,” as she apparently blew up at the meeting; he also tells her that David is very mad at Dana and that Jun has her back, though on this latter point Alison is rightfully worried. She then makes a comment that, for the first time, doesn’t make me hate her: “I’m not going campaign against Jack. I’m 22, he is 58. That would just be disrespectful.” I don’t necessarily agree—it ~is~ a game, but still…Alison’s not being the usual selfish witch she normally is.

As for Erika, some startling true colors might be starting to shine through. She readily tells Jun that she will sacrifice Jack for Alison mainly for the reason that she suspects Alison’s nomination was engineered by Justin. See, Erika is upset that the male exes are targeting their ex-girlfriends; maybe she is scared if Alison is picked off, she will be next (having narrowly escaped eviction last week). Of course, to David and Jack she maintains that her vote will go to Alison. Hmm, even if we don’t know which is the lie and which is the truth, that Erika is playing two sides right now is evident.

Nathan’s key apparently was in the last position; Dana said it was meant as a warning to everyone that if the veto is used, Nathan will be put in their place. David seems to have taken this warning, because he remarks that there is no way to get the veto, use it and force Dana to put up one of the three “Stooges” (he actually used the term, and from a convo earlier it appears they got it from the DR—how about that?!). His advice is to avoid winning the veto and to sacrifice Alie; the other two agree (Erika and Jack). The three of them then blame themselves for putting their alliance in this position having let Amanda go and by not using the veto last week. Also interesting to note is that Dave mentions the idea of there being a secret alliance between Jee and Jun (and he is not the only one to have thought of this—Alie wondered about it earlier; in fact, she reiterates this supposition to Nathan later).

There is a lot of pompous talk this evening on both sides. Erika remarks that she hates “being outsmarted by someone not as smart as (her).” Dana says that she “just did something that no one in the whole house had the balls to do.” It appears that both sides see themselves in the right and the other side as imbeciles. Alie and Dana have a mini-spat over the nomination, and when Alie remarks, “I’m disappointed in you,” Dana throws the words back in her face. Alison blames Justin for influencing Dana, but Dana says that Alie is the one person in the whole house who has disappointed her most. Over in the Blue Room David says that they now play a waiting game until next HOH and then bursts out, “Slutslutslutslutslutslut!” Is he talking about Dana? Erika deflects the comment onto herself and calmly says, “Stop calling me slut,” to which he replies simply, “I can’t.”

Back to Alison, she tells Dana she won’t vie for the veto; she wants to be evicted so she can be with her boyfriend for his birthday (bah, I am so sick of nominated HGs singing this tune). She then asks Justin if he will vote as “she” (Dana) wants and vote for her and he says yes; he won’t use the veto, either, if he gets it. She offers to tell him everything she knows the night before she leaves, but he says he doesn’t want her to. She calls him stupid, and I agree, but Justin seems to think somehow that Dana saved him this week. Once alone, Alison throws a solitary tantrum in her bedroom, flailing blankets and asking the Space-Muffin above to let her win the “goddamn veto” (that lasted long), and then covers her head with her hands. It’s always fun to watch these princesses come to the realization that their popularity won’t save them…

A bit later, Nathan assures Alie that he will use the veto if he gets it. He actually asks that she let him get it, so that she can be saved and he can’t be nominated in her place. She agrees and says that if it works out, she’ll get HOH next week (because she is “honestly smarter than everyone else in the house”) and everything will be golden. Whether or not Nathan will keep his word, it is obvious that he doesn’t want Alie to win the veto; he knows that if she does, he is a goner.

Interesting tidbits of the night: When Erika mentions that Julie Chen is dating Les Moonves (the head of CBS), there is an instant FOTH. Jun prepares a veritable feast of pasta, seafood and steak for dinner. Everything Dana says the alliance blamed on the Stooges, they deflect off onto Alison (they ain’t SO dumb and Dana is easy to play when she gets to hear what she wants to hear). Both sides (Dana, Jee, Justin and Robert versus Alison, Erika, David, Jack and Nathan with Jun somewhere in the middle) repeat over and over and over ad nauseam that they have to get HOH next week. The original alliance considers wooing Jee over to their side. Dana basks in her glory as she talks to the Stooges about how no one will use the veto (“it’s perfect!) and how much fun it was to watch “their” faces as they pulled the keys that afternoon. David puts a toaster in the bathtub and triumphantly announces, “There! Now Dana can take a bath!” When Nathan remarks that Alison has “a hunk of a nose,” she irritably informs him that she doesn’t appreciate that since she spent four thousand dollars on it (to steal poster livefeedwhore’s joke: Refund!!). As she heads for bed, she notices her blue elephant is missing and asks where it is. David tells her that the last time he saw it, it was making toast; Alison goes off in search and finds it in the bathtub with the toaster (lmao…I don’t know why, but I find this ***** hilarious). She, of course, yells at him and says the “execution” hasn’t happened yet, to which he replies, “It committed suicide!”

The night trails off in the usual manner with Dana and Justin massaging each other in the HOH room as they and the other Stooges engage in self- congratulatory talk that requires the putting down of everyone else. Alison and Nathan conspire; Alison and her blue elephant eavesdrop at the HOH door; Jee notices her and Dana wants to catch her in the act, but doesn’t manage to; and eventually the house settles down into sleep…that is excepting Dana and Justin who continue chatting long into the night (despite a lack of sleep on the former night), and as Phantom puts it, “Oh crap, more of their insufferable confidence.”

Get used to it folks, it’ll be quite a many night before we’re rid of it!