First off, let me note that this is the longest updates day we have ever had. Usually when I write my summaries, I have about 7-8 pages of updates to sort through. On a long day, it is about 10. Today? 17! So this it going to very choosy; I ~will~ get the important stuff in, but I can’t be blamed if I miss something.

A bit after nine in the morning, the usual HGs tumble out of bed: Erika, Jack and Jun, while the other HGs continue to snore away. Not much happens in this interim but Erika and Jack lounging in bed, dissing Dana and helping each other memorize the colors of their shirts from the veto competition on the previous day. At ten-thirty, BB issues a wake-up call, but when Dana and Jun get up, it is not clear from their comments whether it was the first call or fourth. Dana seems to think it was the latter and that since only a handful of them are up and at ‘em, BB will be upset. Not soon after, BB announces a lockdown.

The morning falls to chitchat as HGs shower, brush their teeth, make breakfast and comment on the loud, rumbling sound coming from outside (it sounds like a steam cleaner, but they suspect it has to do with cleaning the pool). As Dana and Jack prepare their first meal for the day, they banter back and forth and Jack, without David at his side, manages to make a few worthy jokes:

Dana: Did you have a good night?

Jack: Well, I didn’t have sex.

Dana: (laughs) Nobody did.

Jack: It’s hard not to think about.

Dana: David is in there.

Jack: Yeah, I have my back to him. That isn’t safe. Maybe I should turn around.

Around quarter after eleven another wake-up call sounds (“that ~has~ to be the fourth,” Dana mutters) and the rest of the HGs crawl out of bed to greet another sunny day in California. BB then announces that there will be a luxury competition by one o’clock. An hour before, the HGs gather in the living room and pull ping pong balls as they did on the previous day in order to determine the order of the competition. David is first up; Jun is last. But before the competition gets underway, a little fun is had in the bathroom at David’s expense. Apparently he had stacked some furniture in front of the little potty room, and Alison, in retribution, throws a couple of glasses of water onto the glass door to make it transparent. He, of course, clowns around and we get a couple of nice shots of his heinie (check out the caps!). Jack and Nathan, meanwhile, are discussing what hairstyles they prefer for women, and as Nathan puts it, “I only like girls with hair longer than their shoulders. It takes a certain type of girl to have really short hair.” (Nathan is, by far, the most backward, ignorant fool I have seen on BB—ever!!) Of course, Jack is not much better: “Whenever I think of short hair, I think of Julie Andrews and it makes me want to throw up.”

Pre-competition tidbits of note: Alison thinks orange juice has a “natural caffeine” in it that non-coffee drinkers use to stay awake all day. Erika only buys cheap sunglasses now since she always sits on them and breaks them. Nathan mentions that he won’t marry a “girl” who cannot cook (surprise, surprise). All the HGs speculate on what the prize for winning the competition today will be; some assume great things are waiting such as cars or treadmills or concerts (though some of this is definitely said with humor—especially when David guesses “hookers”).

Just after one, as promised, the competition begins and the HGs learn soon enough that their versions of “luxury” are not exactly met by BB’s version; the prize turns out to be a four course dinner with the HG of their choice. The rules are as follows: each HG gets a bottle of champagne. With it, they must fill a glass and put it on a tray. They then get spun around and around and around on a chair until they are sufficiently dizzy. Immediately, they must get up, grab the tray with the champagne on it, and carry it across the yard without spilling very much of it—beyond a marked red line. If they do, they must go back and refill. Whoever can do this in the fastest amount of time wins. Jun, as usual, complains the second she can: “Alie is a ***** ice skater—she should be okay spinning.”

And right Jun is, for who wins but Alie herself? Her time is 11.40; the second closest, I believe, was Erika with 14.81. Poor Jack sustains a nasty injury after having fallen and smacked his face into the ground, enough so that there is a brief FOTH to administer medical attention. When back, however, he is grinning in good humor and taking it like a sport, much unlike Dana who continues to whine over and over how nauseous she is. Just be thankful you haven’t had your Burger King yet, Dana. Alison chooses who other but Nathan to accompany her on her dinner, and toting their bottles of sparkling California wine, the HGs head in and the competition is over.

Immediately the HGs take to lounging and chatting as usual, and one comment by a poster made me giggle because of a typo: “Nathan says Erika is going to pose for Playboy when she gets gout.” Haha. Nathan and Jack say they will both want autographed copies. Jee remarks how glad he is that he didn’t win the competition, because he would have taken one of his fellow Stooges and that would have looked “gay.” The trio then discuss what ways they like to smoke pot and soon after, unsurprisingly, the feeds change. At 2:30pm, the daily repast of Burger King arrives and the conversation lulls as the HGs feed. David is wearing Amanda’s hat today and the camera frequently shoots a close-up of him as he gobbles up his food.

Once satiated, the house falls to general chat and merrymaking as they slurp up their remaining champagne (except for Robert who is a recovering alcoholic). A lot of “I am so drunk” comments chorus throughout the afternoon. Jee gets a tad horny (“affectionate” as he terms it; or “sleazy” as the others do) tipping the bottle and staring at Alie’s backside, while Nathan gets so tipsy, bumping into walls, that Justin comments he is like a “girl” and can’t imagine what he would be like in a club. It could be because he never drinks outside of the BB house, Nathan admits. Justin says that he is funny when he is drunk, but that Alison “gets violent.” A round of “Girls Gone Wild” jokes follow this comment, and Alison laughingly protests that she has never even “flashed.” Justin tells Jack that he will be “mobbed by the older ladies” when he gets out of the house and then qualifies the comment by adding, “those thirty-something, late-twenties women.” Wow, as a 27-year-old woman, it’s a shock to learn that I am an “older” lady already. Sheesh.

By four o’clock in the afternoon, Nathan is half-passed out in bed and Alison stumbles in to topple over onto him. The camera gets in a visual joke as it pans from a picture of Alie and her boyfriend to her sprawled out on top of Nathan. He drunkenly comments, “I hold your destiny in the palm of my hand.” She sexily replies, “You like that, don’t you?” They pull the blankets up over them and there is a lot of movement occurring and a lot of protests getting steadily weaker as their little romp continues. Eventually, after nothing much really happened, they both fall asleep and all that can be heard is snoring.

Over in the HOH, a little cuddle action between Dana and Justin is happening, as well, but it breaks up soon and innocently enough. She heads outside and he follows a bit later. When the guys see Jee passed out on one of the deck chairs, they get the bright idea to pick the entire chair up, walk it over to the pool and dump Jee in. Unfortunately, Jee wakes up while being transported and clings onto the chair for dear life as they are trying to dump him and chants, “No, no, no, no!” At most a leg gets wet, but the HGs laugh nonetheless and Jee wonders, “How long was I laying there? Am I a dork?” There is a lot of fun being had at this harmless prank, and many posters hope that the future will see more good-natured fun like this.

As the evening kicks into gear, some chatter and happenings to note: David kicks their ball over the wall and out of the backyard; he blames it on “the wind.” Jack asks Erika to share his bottle of wine with him this evening and she accepts. Dana reveals that there will be no America’s Choice this year—not only is that a brand name they cannot use anymore, but they have no sponsor for it. Nathan misses his nine-year-old sister (awww). The HGs again attempt to pool-dump poor Jee who has fallen asleep on the same chair that is now directly next to the pool, but despite their SWAT-team-like movements, he wakes up again in the nick of time. After they leave him alone long enough for him to fall asleep again, they decide now to decorate him with whipped cream, tickle him and hope he smooshes the cream all over his face. When he wakes up to the prank, he starts yelping, “What is this on my ear?! Gimme a napkin! What the hell is this? Gimme a napkin!!” It’s actually quite hilarious. Erika and Jack don’t seem to know Nathan’s plan to veto Alison, because they talk about how sad it will be to see her go (either we know something they don’t know, or vice versa). Jack mentions his daughters are 26, 21 and 19, while his “boys” are 37, 36 and 31. Erika tells Nathan that it was 1998 when she broke up with Robert, and Nathan replies incredulously, “1998?! I was in high-school that year!” *Sigh.*

Around seven in the evening, Nathan tries to wake Alison up. Their date will be at nine-thirty and they need to get ready soon, but Alison doesn’t seem too enthusiastic in her groggy, post-inebriated state. She announces that she has “the worst hangover” she has ever had in her “whole life, to be perfectly honest.” Poor Alie. No wonder she isn’t ready for David’s retribution! While she takes a shower, David moves in stealthily, dumps a glass of water on the door (again, to make it transparent) and struggles with her to pull her towel away. Though she makes a good effort to stay covered, there is some definite jiggling-action apparent behind the glass. Egads! A lot of laughter and hilarity ensues, of course.

As dinner preparations begin, the HGs mill about and laugh over the antics of the day. Several people can be heard mimicking Jee’s yelps for mercy during the afternoon pranks, and more than one person reiterates over and over through laughter how it all went down. Jack says several times that he was not involved, but uh hmmmm…I saw the video and definitely remember Jack helping to carry that chair! Talk moves on to the upcoming date and everyone is being very supportive—that is until Dana shoots over to Justin, “Why couldn’t you win the ***** dinner?!” Nevertheless, many help out with advice or style tips as Alison prepares to look her best. Erika helps her do her hair, and it looks very attractive when she is finished. Nathan irons his shirt and the others are encouraging him and Alison to have a good time. When he notices how red he is in the face, he asks Jun to help him cover it up—and yes, once again we see a female HG helping to apply make-up to Nathan’s face. To be fair, he just doesn’t want to look silly on camera with a red face. Heh. Meanwhile, Dana is telling Justin that Alie wanted to borrow her black skirt, but Dana wouldn’t let her—she was too afraid she’d “stretch it out.”

When the two are finally ready, much complimenting on their appearances ring out; Jack, in particular, tells them that they look like “a storybook couple.” They wait in the living room for BB to call them out to their dinner, and their conversation revolves around how they are the stars of the show right now—both because of the dinner and because of being nominated and getting the veto. We learn at this time, too, that they have pet names for one another, literally: AlieCat and NateDog. Finally the two get called to the DR; there is a brief FOTH and when we come back the two are outside in the backyard enjoying their candlelit dinner.

You might think that the romantic setting would spark some personal, interesting conversation, but one of the first things we hear Alie say is: “I hope they’re all jealous of us. I’d love to rub Dana’s face in this,” and she points to her cheesebread. The hilarity continues. She tells Nathan that Pennsylvania is “colonial,” and when he doesn’t know what she means by that, she explains, “It’s like civil war-ish.” We also learn that she lost her license for driving too fast (or so according to her). Surprisingly, there is not much game talk, but it may be due to BB’s warning—several times they stray into talking about Dana and the game, and each time they pull back and remark that they are “not supposed to talk about that.” At times, I curse BB for this. I’d much rather listen to them bash Dana than hear Nathan say that he wants to have a boy someday so he can pay for his retirement (because a girl couldn’t possibly hope to earn enough money to help her parents out, could she Nathan? Ahh, I am really trying hard not to be a raging feminist here, but he makes it so damn hard!). They chat on into the night about their families and friends, their career aspirations (or lack of) and school, and their past relationships. If you’re interested in the Blondies, it is worthwhile taking a gander at the updates; if not, I wouldn’t bother.

Inside, the HGs are wandering about doing what it is they do, be it chat or play cards or vegetate. David washes some dishes and suddenly looks up at the camera to say, “I could use a Sugar Mama. Attention internet Sugar Mamas!” They fill out their Burger King orders, and ridiculously enough Jee asks for avocado on one of his burgers. As a HG sneers, “Do you really think they have avocado?” The HGs then decide that with no competition looming on the following morning they are going to play a drinking-game (everyone but Alie, Nathan and Robert join in). The game involves cards and rhyming and a lot of glug-glugs. Apparently it is called “the circle of death” and requires each person to rhyme a sentence with the one that came before them; if they screw up, they must drink. Around ten o’clock, Alie and Nathan head back into the house (the date lasted under an hour). They are told by the others to go change and come back to join the game. While they are in the bathroom doing as told, it appears that Nathan is rehearsing his veto speech to save Alison. It looks like her trust is not misplaced. She, in fact, is so confident that she whispers to him that tomorrow she would like to wear the veto necklace to sleep. Eventually they head out to the living room and join the game.

The game continues for a bit, but soon changes to other antics and fun inside and outside at the hot tub. The party involves the usual drinking and chatter and sex-talk and antics. Interesting bits: During the gabble of “I’m gonna be so wasted” and laughter, we overhear Justin call Robert “Rat Bastard.” Hmmm, looks like we’re not the only ones who think so. Jun, who is very, very drunk, tells Justin to “suck her *****.” Rat Bastard says he’d jump to take advantage of Jun right now in her inebriated state if “she had a better body.” (Can we count the many ways in which this ***** deserves the name RatBastard?) Alie sucks whipped cream out of David’s mouth. Several of the guys admit that they are scared of a drunken Jun who grabs their “packages” and then calls them gay when they resist. When David notices the hot tub is Jun-free, he climbs in where Dana gives him a kiss. Alison encourages her to do it again, but she jokes, “No, he did it with Amanda.” Shockingly enough, David chooses this moment to actually admit that he ~did~ do it with Amanda, and the others are reasonably surprised.

Meanwhile, Erika and Jack head inside where he tells her that she is the “only woman in the house;” the rest act like they are in junior high (get out? Really?). Nathan joins them—he’s had enough drink for the night and probably doesn’t want to listen to the “Nathan is so gay” jokes anymore. He agrees that the girls are acting very silly and annoying while they are drunk, and soon he heads to get ready for bed with Jee following close behind. Erika takes this moment to look up at a camera and say, “I just want to go on the record to say that I think this show is really lame.”

After midnight happenings: Dana and Nathan hang out and chat in the HOH room. Nothing much interesting is said—Dana only repeats that she thinks Alison hates her and that is why she nominated her. She also is not looking forward to giving up the HOH room. After their convo, Dana walks over to the kitchen where she puts her arms around David and mutters something to the effect of, “If you didn’t make out with Amanda, I swear to God!” (Confusing, because I thought that he had admitted to ~sleeping~ with Amanda. Perhaps not.) Dana gives his neck a kiss and Jun jumps over to join in. She then talks about how “swollen” her breasts are because her monthly visitor is imminent. Though she swears she is sober now (she threw up), she goes on to ask David, “What would you do if I crawled into your bed naked? Would you hold me or slip it in?” David’s response? “I would get out of bed!”

At this time, Dana looks outside and notices that Alison and Justin are getting a little too close for her comfort…and indeed, they are. In fact, he is putting hot wax on her breasts (she has her bikini top on) in the hot tub. They whisper and it is hard to hear as the water is bubbling away, but what we do overhear makes us go hmmm: Justin remarks, “Please! It’s not like I’m making her my ***** girlfriend.” Apparently Alison is trying to bring Justin over to their “side,” but Justin isn’t having any of it. Throughout their conversation, they play with the wax and when Justin waggles a finger at her, she playfully tries to bite it. “You are so ***** scandalous…so ***** scandalous,” he says.

Meanwhile the debauchery continues inside. Dana and David assume some rather stimulating sexual positions, all in good humor and fun with the others cheering them on, but David becomes a bit…aroused, shall we say? They talk about wanting private rooms with no cameras and showering together, and in the midst of it all Dana looks outside and says, “They’re still out there.” The two she is talking about come in soon enough, however, but when Alison slips out of her bathing suit and covers herself with a towel, Justin quickly tugs it away—and yes, we get to see, for a few seconds anyway, a naked Alie laughing and scampering for her towel back. When Robert hears about this and complains that he didn’t get to see it, Justin remarks, “I wasn’t thinking about you! I was thinking about America! The Internet!” I think I want to smack him, but doubtless scores of internet viewers want to thank him.

Trickles of interesting bits long into the night: Dana will “***** kill Nathan if he uses the veto,” she says. “Alie makes my stomach turn. You have no idea how ***** sick it makes me.” (Sorry, Dana, who was it who hates whom?) Justin makes fun of Alie to the others about her attempts in the hot tub to sway him; he also says that while Nathan is a good guy, he is a “***** moron” in the game. The others (Dana and Ratbert) join in and really bash Nathan for being “such a little bitch”—they are obviously scared he will use the veto. Meanwhile Alie is telling Erika and Jack how hard she tried to sway Justin: “I even poured wax on his nipples! You have no idea!” Erika and Jack then head over to the HOH room where everyone agrees that Nathan is stupid if he uses the veto on Alison; they hope that Nathan is only playing her to “deflect her passion” (in other words, prevent her from going ballistic on him). A lot of Alie-bashing is occurring; Dana tells Justin, “You are lucky if I ***** touch you after touching that bitch.” It seems like the warm cozy feelings of house harmony before the date have all been banished in the presence of hate, back-stabbing, jealousy and greed.

And so the tides of BB sway. As the night trails off into morning, the talk about alliances gets chaotic. Someone brings up Alison’s belief that Jee and Jun have an alliance, and everyone laughs at her stupidity (if only they knew). Nathan doesn’t guarantee that he will or will not use the veto when talking to Erika and Jack; he thinks Alison is a “loose cannon.” Apparently he was upset by her actions with Justin tonight, but he still thinks she is a strong player and would be good to keep around on their side. David tells Nathan that if he uses the veto and Dave goes up, he won’t harbor any hurt feelings about it. Is he sincere or trying to sway Nathan? Who knows, but what we do know is that when Alison wakes up and she and Nathan have a conversation in bed, all veto-hell breaks loose. Nathan tells her how disappointed he was with the way she acted tonight: “You act like a freakin' idiot. The whole house thought you were a freakin' idiot…I just had higher expectations for you. I thought you were more of a classy girl, I guess.” She cries. They argue. She bites at him, “If you don’t want to use it then don’t!” And he replies, “Okay then, I won’t.” As she gets out of bed, he tells her that she just blew it for herself.

A mini-tantrum in Alison style ensues. She cries some more and threatens to leave the house. She doesn’t understand why Nathan would be so mean to her. She asks him why he doesn’t trust her—she would “never, ever come after (him).” He repeats several times that he is not jealous, but from what we can see it appears he, in fact, is. As she begins to console his manly feelings of inadequacy and assures him that he is her partner first and foremost in the house and that she’d choose him over Justin any day, Nathan finally tells her that he will save her. He doesn’t say it overflowing with love and happiness, however; it sounds more like, “Fine, I’ll save you and then you can do whatever you want.” But the feelings of discord only last a short time before they are once again under the covers and cuddling and kissing. David comes in and they reveal to him that their plan, in order to save him if he is put up in Alie’s place, is to threaten Jun that she will be their next target if she doesn’t vote against Jack. Thus, with Alie, Erika, Jun, and Nathan voting out Jack, they will beat the three votes coming from Jee, Justin and Robert. (Btw, it is worthy of note that earlier, while Alison and David were in bed together, there were some suspicious movements under the covers; when Nathan calls Alison on this, she denies that anything happened. Me, I just wonder why this group just doesn’t all get nekkid and have an orgy and be done with it.)

Dana and Jun are in the meantime talking about how much they hate Alison—they wish they could “take her on” in the street. They head to the storage room to get toilet paper (they are out), but none is available. It looks like paper towel it is. Before bed, Dana goes to the Stooges’ room and hugs each one of them goodnight, paying special attention to Justin—kiss kiss. When she’s back with Jun in the HOH room and Jun asks her what she is going to do about Justin, she says, “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” He is not her type, she admits. He’s not only too short, but he’s got those cauliflower ears going on. By four in the morning, they settle down into silence and sleep is not far behind.

As for AlieCat and NateDog, these two finally decide to settle down into their separate beds for sleep, as well. Before they do, however, Nathan tells Alie that Dana offered him a hand-job; she asks if he is serious and he says yes. Alison recoils: “That is the most disgusting thing I have heard in my whole life.” He then admits it was a joke, and Alison says, “I was really ready to go stab her in her sleep.” Jealousy is a two-way street, apparently, and it looks like Nathan likes it that way. (Note: For a more detailed account of the Blondies’ convo, go to updates and look for Bert’s posts entered in around 4:00-6:00am on the 27th.)

And there you have it. The longest summary to date. I just as heck hope less happens on Sunday, because I don’t know if I can keep up with this! Till then, adieu.