It’s Monday morning and the first wake-up call rings out at ten in the morning. The usual routine follows and the day gets underway amid cereal crunching and mundane chatter. Jack wonders about the twist—he speculates that a way to keep Dana in would be for BB to offer the HGs money to not vote against her. He also mentions that BB told him the Sandbox would soon be closed (as the HGs dwindle in number, BB always closes one of the rooms to prevent them from isolating themselves in separate rooms). Alison meanwhile calls Nathan a brat, and Erika excuses it as he is the only boy in his family. And so the chit chat begins.

The morning falls to pool lounging, sheet-washing and card games. Everyone is duller than dull can be. Jee and Robert discuss what may be coming up and realize that they are due for a luxury competition soon. Jee hopes that it is not one like the “dinner one” again, since he didn’t “give a ***** about it.” They figure that it won’t be an animal, since they already have the turtles, and after they’ve exhausted a very small spectrum of possibilities, they change the topic to missing their family and being sexually frustrated. As Justin comes over and starts to discuss how the three will vote on the morrow (will they throw Dana a sympathy vote or not?), “Duhna seems to still be floating like a discarded turd in the pool.” (Hey, folks, don’t be mad at me! That was a Phantom quote, and I just thought it was too funny not to include here.)

As the afternoon kicks into gear:

The Stooges are still upset that Dana has been campaigning against Jun. Now there is even doubt on whether they will throw her the one sympathy vote they were going to give her (through Justin). Hey, it’s just my opinion, but I think anyone who allows others to give away sympathy votes in this game from this point on is stoopid—since the evicted HG can’t see the tapes, all they have to learn is that person A voted for them to stay and persons B, C, and D did not. When $500,000 is riding on those sequestered HGs’ opinions, I wouldn’t risk it.

Justin considers himself a goner if he ever is put on the block. He’s probably right.

Alie and Nate have a little heart to heart in the HOH, which goes much as every one of their conversations go: *Pout.* “I don’t want to fight.” *Pout.* “Are you mad?” *Pout.* “No, but what about this deal you have with Justin?” *Pout.* “I did it in our best interests so that we are not nominated together!” *Pout.* *Glare.* *Whine.* *Yell.* *Glare.* *Pout.* “Are you going to be nice to me?” *Pout.* “I’m always nice!”

Dana continues to campaign, most precisely telling Erika that Jun would be impossible for almost anyone to beat in the final two, implying that they should get rid of her now while they have the opportunity. This ploy of Dana’s spreads throughout the house, and everyone is even more sick of her after they hear it. It’s one thing that the two factions can agree on: Dana has got to go!

Erika suggests to her alliance that perhaps they might save Dana and take her over to their side. When Alie and Nate are aghast and exclaim, “Why would we do THAT?” Erika explains that their chances with Dana might be better than with “sneaky, sneaky Jun.”

Robert, while talking with Jack, guarantees that all three Stooges will vote Dana out, and Jack guarantees that his side will all vote her out, too. Robert later tells Jun directly that Dana has not only been campaigning against her, but that she has accused her side of throwing the last HOH competition so the other side could get it. He assures Jun that Dana will be voted out unanimously, and the other Stooges who are nearby nod their heads in agreement. It is worthy to note that throughout this conversation with Jun, Robert is swearing profusely and seems genuinely pissed off with Dana—much like he was with Nathan when Nathan used the POV. Of course, when Dana approaches him a bit later and apologizes, he seems accept her apology wholeheartedly. Apparently, Jack told Dana that she was not as “in” with the Stooges as she seemed to think she was and perhaps they threw the HOH competition in order to get her out—and this, Dana says, caused her to doubt them for a little bit. She is sorry now that she did, however: “I feel like such a dumbass. I can’t believe I let him get to me that way.” Jack also told Dana that the entire house met and agreed to vote Dana out as a whole; Robert, of course, frantically sweeping his final votes into a nice, little pile, denies this and tells her that nothing is certain until the vote takes place on the morrow.

Whew. Long paragraph. But it doesn’t end here. Dana, as expected, when all hope seems finally gone, starts to sing that pitiful tune I could have bet a billion dollars she would sing: “I just want out. I want everyone to vote for me.” Aw, that’s right Dana, you’ve sure convinced me! Less than an hour after you’ve been ~told~ everyone is voting you out, suddenly you ~want~ everyone to vote you out. Oh yes, you’re so believable. I believe you as much as I believe you are all going to be sequestered on the sunny beaches of Cancun.

Robert relates Dana’s apologies to his cronies, but they don’t accept it so easily. Justin says that what Dana did was “uncalled for” (accusing them of throwing the HOH competition). Jun doesn’t understand why Dana constantly talks to her as if she is not on the block, too—talking about getting the POV, having the POV used on her, getting the votes to stay, etc. I actually agree; Dana seems so wrapped up in herself that she can’t seem to grasp the concept that Jun is going through something very similar. Jun is only there to be her sounding board for how Dana could be saved. Anyway, Dana soon comes into the conversation that is taking place in the kitchen, and she apologizes again to everyone. Jee accepts it; he also emphatically states that none of them threw the competition. Justin doesn’t really say much, and Dana blames pretty much everything on Jack (she wonders why else but to screw with her would he talk to her now since he hasn’t talked to her for weeks—and yet I wonder, doesn’t that go both ways?).

The alliance, meanwhile, throughout all this drama that going on in the kitchen (and what is laughable is that Jun states several times that the other side’s plan to create discord in their group will not work), is sitting out on the patio and talking about Dana’s imminent departure. Erika assures Alison that Dana will go. They laugh about how Dana had this coming—that she had been warned, but ignored it. Nathan even mentions his last offer to her, and Erika states, “She didn’t just want to be part of the group, she wanted to be the leader of a pack.”

Dana and Justin have a discussion alone and he seems to be really disappointed in her and how she has campaigned against Jun. Apparently Dana told Jun, “I don’t know why they don’t want me here, I can win competitions,” and Justin thought that this was insensitive to Jun. Dana only mutters, “Well, she must have taken that out of context.” She point-blankly states that she is ~not~ campaigning against Jun (I think somehow she actually believes that) and that her conversation with Erika on the previous day was completely innocent. She says that she never asked for the other side’s votes (and that is true, at least not directly) and even asked that if they ~did~ decide to vote for her to stay, she would appreciate it if they told Justin and the others.

Meanwhile, Erika and Jack silently smile in glee at how Jack’s mischievous plan to create discord in the Rat Pack has worked: “People only believe what they want to believe…but I like messing with their heads.” Apparently he never actually ~told~ Dana anything, but only alluded to the things Dana eventually believed—like leading a blind man into a guillotine and clasping his hand around the rope, I suppose.

A bit later Robert asks Nathan to ask Jack not to tell Dana, when she will assuredly confront him tonight about the things he told her, that the Rat Pack plans to vote her out. (There sure is a lot of he told her that she told him that he asked her to ask her if she told him that he said to her this and he said that…agh!)

By now evening has rolled around, but not much changes as the HGs wander about and conspire and argue and munch and lounge and do their usual things. What is interesting is that the two factions still seem to be collaborating over handling Dana—despite the mess Jack created, the Rat Pack only wants Jack to help calm her down for the evening so that they don’t have to deal with the loon any more than necessary. Even Jun warns Erika, “Look out for Dana. She’s going to be on your tail after today.”

Evening bits to note:

The stress that Dana is creating in the house is getting to everyone. If she’s not creating a clamor, the others are talking about her meltdowns and getting pretty fed up themselves. Erika: “I’m about four minutes from going off!”

The HGs get a board game to play called “Quoridor.” Apparently, it is the game the HGs got last year.

Robert approaches the idea that the evicted HGs may not even be sequestered together as they have all been assuming; Dana is visibly upset at this thought.

The HGs suspect that there may be a competition in which they will play the game Quoridor against the cast of Britain’s BB4. (Just to note: The HGs are unaware that BB in the UK has already ended.)

Jee and Jun play the board game together and have a great time together. They even play Rock-Paper-Scissors in Korean while smiling and laughing—unusual behavior for the two together.

Jun tells the Stooges that she is disappointed in them for not telling her right away how badly Dana has been campaigning against her. Justin tells her it was for the sake of the friendship—he didn’t want to ruin it for them with one of them leaving so soon. Now, however, he has given up sticking up for Dana as she is a lost cause. Don’t believe it? Just before this conversation, Dana insisted to Jun that she never went behind her back and that the “tapes will prove it.” As I have said many times before, what planet is this troll living on?

Buddy sustains a leg injury when the boys find a black widow and put it in his web to watch them fight.

And now it’s midnight already. It’s been a do-nothing, back-stabbing, game-playing, boring bonanza of a day. And it goes on for a couple hours yet. To note:

Jun is upset that Justin told Dana that Jun was mad at Dana for campaigning against her (holy moly, I feel like I am trapped in a Sweet Valley High book recounting this). She felt that it was her place to talk to Dana about it, not Justin’s. Her and Jee discuss their alliance; she tells him that she knows right now he will honor his alliance with the Stooges over his alliance with her, but that she hopes that when numbers come into play he will side with her (meaning further down the line).

Erika, Jack and Nathan suspect that learning the game Quoridor will be useful as it may be part of an upcoming competition, probably a luxury one. They are concerned that their abilities to play it may not be very good.

Jun asks the members of the Sandbox to tape real goodbye messages for her in the off chance that she is evicted: “It would just be too much in front of my friends out there to not have any goodbyes from the house because, you know, you never know. Remember what happened with Michelle.” They all assure her that they will and Jack says, “We absolutely will. Alright Jun-bug.”

Alie tries on outfits for Wednesday’s live show (which is still not until the day after tomorrow) and models them for her alliance. She seems very giddy and happy—with the idea that Dana is going?

The Three Stooges wonder how they are being portrayed on the internet—are they called the Three Musketeers? The Three Amigos? Keep on with that train of thought but take a layover in Stupidville, and I think you’ll have your answer, boys.

And so it goes. The HGs wonder about the upcoming HOH competition and all vow that they will get it. There is strategizing upon strategizing—who has secret alliances, who is really running the groups, and who are the real threats. It’s nothing we haven’t heard before. So day 28 ends, a fairly unproductive day, an extremely uninteresting day, but another day in the BB house nonetheless. There is a spark of interest in the evening as Dana and Justin engage in some heavy petting under the blankets, but as their breathing quickens and their hand movements grow steadily faster in rhythm, many of us must feel that interest evolve into revulsion. If you are interested, however, it does appear that Justin is trying to give Dana…a parting gift? As his hands move and she breathes deeply, he asks her if she wants him to stop, but she says no. Then he asks her, “Did you?” Hmm, and she says no, so he continues. Though nothing happens to make us think that anything was, uh, accomplished, Justin does go into the bathroom to wash his hands before he heads back to bed to sleep. Okay, everyone, on three: One…Two…Three: EW!!

Until tomorrow.