It’s Saturday in the BB house and like most weekend days, it is going to be a slow day. At ten o’clock, BB asks the HGs to get up, but unlike yesterday, there is no urgency in the tone of their words. The hamsters begin to stir in their beds and gradually make their way out of their warm beds and into the morning routines that have become the norm: tooth-brushing, face-washing, coffee-making, dish-tackling, cereal-eating and DR-attending.

Around half past the hour, the HGs are told that the luxury competition will begin in thirty minutes, but most of them only laugh as they remember the hours spent waiting for the veto competition yesterday. Jun begins preparing eggs and turkey bacon, taking special care to pick out some vegetables from the egg mixture for Nathan (she initially added them, forgetting that Nathan is an uber-picky eater). Various drivel ensues as the HGs eat, so much drivel, in fact, that recounting here the conversation about beauty products and beauty tips Alison, Erika and Jun engage in would be too tedious for me to bear. By quarter after eleven, the hamsters all have their provided bathing suits on and dutifully wait by the backyard door to be let out for the competition.

Though the exact details of the competition are somewhat hazy, it appears that on the inside of each of the bathing suits the HGs were provided is a hidden letter. The HGs need to take their suits off to find the letters and then arrange those letters on a clothesline to spell out what their prize will be. This means that the HGs will be quite naked. Of course, BB can’t have a bunch of naked people running around the backyard, so to provide a certain measure of privacy for them, BB has generously supplied a large yellow hose that pumps out profuse amounts of soap bubbles. The HGs take the bubbles, spread them on their bodies, and get naked. As you can imagine, things get messy and noisy very early on, but amid much laughter and pointing, the HGs eventually get the word spelled out: LAUNDRY! Yup, as a reward for getting naked and rolling around in bubbles, the HGs get laundry service for the week. Is it much of a surprise that Erika doesn’t sound very thrilled? “This just sucks,” she says (apparently they ruined some of her clothes during sequestration and she doesn’t trust them with more). The other HGs aren’t very excited about it, either. Can you blame them? Instead of taking away something for them to do, BB needs to GIVE them something to do.

After the HGs shower and get dressed, they wander inside and lounge and chat about the competition. Robert says that he not only saw Alie’s “boobs,” but other areas, as well. When she tells him she doesn’t believe him, and he describes what shape her, uh, southern hair forms, she quickly shuts up. Obviously he ~did~ get an eyeful. Jun, too, got a different kind of eyeful during the competition when a certain part of Nathan’s anatomy apparently knocked her in the eye. As she tells the others about it, he only asks, “What were you doing down there, anyway?”

The afternoon now falls to the usual: Jun prowling the kitchen as others nap and play cards amid general jabber. There is a brief intermission in the verbal mundanety after their Subway lunches arrive and the hamsters quietly eat their sandwiches. After their bellies are full, the few topics of conversation that swirl among their heads have mostly only to do with one of two things: the “lame” luxury prize and their increasing boredom. Of course, they also talk about “boob jobs.” Erika can’t remember how much hers cost; Nathan says he’d “permit his wife” to have the surgery. When Erika sarcastically responds, “Good for you, Nate,” he hastily says, “Anything to make her happy.”

Afternoon blather: Robert says it would “***** suck” if he went before Erika; as there is a chance of that happening next week, he is scared. Jee and Jun briefly talk: they know Alie knows about their alliance; thus, she is their real target before Jack (despite what Justin and Robert want). Jee assumes that Robert’s real target is Erika. If she is not, Jee would be very suspicious (that Erika and Robert could have a secret alliance much like him and Jun). Nathan encourages Alie, if she wins the HOH next week, to nominate Justin; Nathan is “sick of hearing his voice.” The Blondies then chatter about strip clubs: Nathan has never been to one and never wants to go. He also would never “let” his wife go to one; if she did, he would be “very disappointed.” Alie, however, wouldn’t care too much if her fiancée went to a strip club for his bachelor party. She would know that he still loved “(her) and (her) body.”

As the hours drift into evening: more blather. Nathan doesn’t want to give Justin the satisfaction of pleading to stay in the house. If he does go, however, he asks that Alison give him a “sympathy vote.” He tells Alison that the DR-people have been very encouraging, telling him not to give up. It is obvious that Nathan has hope, but he is trying to act very nonchalant about it. Alie talks about her boyfriend: she says he is the only guy she has found to put up with her “*****” (and I wonder, beating her and cheating on her is being tolerant?). Jun, in one of her not-so-very-bright moments, reveals that she didn’t think the evicted HGs got to see their taped goodbye messages. The others laugh as she tells them her messages weren’t all very nice (she called Michelle “flaky,” and she wasn’t overly kind in her message to Dana, either). Justin assumes that the extra vote to evict David came from Alison (he is wrong, it was Nathan; and anyway, Alison admitted to voting against Jack right after the live show). The guys, while hot tubbing and eating fajitas prepared by the house chef, lust after evicted women: Nathan wishes Michelle had been there for the luxury competition today, while Robert says the same of Amanda. Jun mentions while showering that her “boobs” are “growing” and getting “meatier”; Robert tells her that is the way he likes them.

By now, surprisingly enough, it is midnight. The night has been wasted away in utter triviality. The few hours before bedtime are no different. Nathan professes against ever becoming a “damn liberal”—he will be a “conservative Republican until the day (he) die(s).” He’s flabbergasted that Jack is a Democrat; Erika is one, as well (“a woman Republican? That’s, like, an oxymoron,” she says). They are both pro-choice. They discuss the possibility of Arnold Schwarzenegger running for governor in California (little do they know what is actually happening right now!). Alie tells the others that she and Justin had a bit of a spat over something she said in the DR that was repeated to him by BB. Apparently she made some comment about him never doing his laundry and called him a “little dirtball.” “It’s on,” Justin told her, and she retorted that he better watch it or she’ll “spill” all of his stories on national television.

As for what the HGs got to see during the luxury competition, Jack tells Alison that, while she was protecting the “silver,” he got to see the “gold.” Erika got a “complete view” of Jee, but she averted her eyes. Neither of the women saw Nathan’s “tomatoes” (he took special care to make sure that either his privates or his face were covered), while Erika was just as covert, mainly trying to stay out of sight of the cameras.

More chatter, this time strategy: Erika and Jack tell Alie that, if they win HOH, they will nominate Justin and Robert. They aren’t too concerned about Jee because they know the other two Stooges will turn on him before they will each other since he would be almost impossible to win against in the end. When Nathan tells Alie that Jun told him not to trust Alie who was siding with the Stooges to “save her own ass,” Alie denies it vehemently and blames Jun for trying “to stir up trouble.” Nathan meets up with Jun in the kitchen not long after this and we hear Jun say, “That’s not what she said…” Jun does admit, however, that Alison ~did~ try to convince Justin to take Jack out this week instead of Nate—only she immediately let it drop when she could see it wasn’t “going to fly.” When Nathan heads back to the room where his allies are hanging out, Alison looks up at him and says, “What’s the dirty look for, Nate?” Apparently, Nathan isn’t too happy with Alie right now. Well, he’s the idiot that has trusted her so far, so how much sympathy can we have for him, really? The minutes after this fall into a he-said, she-said as they all congregate in the HOH room and there is lying all around, on Alie’s part, on Jun’s part, and on Nathan’s part, while the Stooges only laugh about it. It gets good for a minute when Nathan turns on Jun and says, “You’re a little snake. If you’re going to call people out, let’s call you out. If anyone’s a sneaky person, it’s you! Why are you trying to stir things up? If I leave, I leave.” Jun, her body frozen in that blasé attitude that makes you want to slap that ***** out of her (okay, maybe that’s only me), replies, “Okay, okay. In this house, you don’t know what is fact and what is not, but okay.” Nathan also mentions that Jun has been playing both sides, reporting information back to them, but the Stooges don’t seem to take this seriously at all.

Which brings us to the Stooges. What have they been doing while hovelled up in the HOH? They’ve been playing Old Maid and Uno. What do they do after the little Jun-Nathan confrontation? Play more cards while bashing the heck out of Nathan: “He’s a pouty bitch!” They’re also not overly thrilled with Alie for reporting everything to Nathan, and as Justin says, they don’t care if this comes back to “bite her in the ass.” There’s also a string of profane name-calling following this, but how much can we listen to the “***** bitch” and “damn whore” comments without wanting throw our speakers out the window? Jee, meanwhile, tells his cronies that he is going to call Nathan out for talking so disrespectfully to Jun, but the minute he is alone with the Golden Boy, he backs down and simply says, “Are we cool? This is between you and Jun.” As for Justin, he’s not mad enough with Alie to not hang out alone with her a bit later, and when she asks him if he believes that Jee and Jun have a secret alliance, he firmly says, “Not in a million years. I totally trust Jee and Robert.” Besides, he says, they fight all the time. Alie then tells Justin that her target is Jun, but not to let Jun know; Justin says, obviously, Jun will be the first to go “after Jack and Erika.” Of course, to the others, Justin assures them that Alison will go before Jun (the Stooges are tired of her; she is a “pathological liar,” they agree, but they can’t let their dislike of her keep them from going after Erika and Jack first).

And so the night goes, as it always does and ends. Jun tries to smooth things over with Nathan, blaming all the drama on Alison. Justin and Robert tell Jun that Alison believes her and Jee have an alliance; Jun waves it off (and must be doubling her intentions in her mind to get rid of Alie next). Alie complains ad nauseam about Nathan to the Stooges and later to Erika and Jack: she is tired of Nathan telling her he’s sorry he saved her, as well as she is tired of feeling as though she owes him a favor. Nathan’s upset, too, and he takes what opportunities he gets to badmouth her, as well. They’ve both done each other so, so wrong. Poor babies. (Blarg!) Later, in the LoveRoom, they bicker: “If anyone is being a spoiled brat, it’s you.” Now tell me, does it really matter which of them made that comment? It can be equally applied both ways. Erika and Jack, meanwhile, realize that they have to win next week: they can’t trust Alie to put up the right people if she wins HOH, and Jun won’t side with them unless they are in power.

By the strike of three o’clock, the whispering dies its daily death and the HGs journey to dreamland for another night. Sunday morning will be here all too soon and then it is another day of mindless strategizing, backstabbing and boredom.


Until then.