It’s eviction day, and if I thought that there was any chance that Robert might be picking up his bags and exiting that front door, I might be a bit excited. As things stand, however, the possibility of that occurring has about the same odds as Alison winning this thing (eek, I shouldn’t say that—Will taught me a hard- swallowed lesson). As on other days, BB plays Jekyll and Hyde this morning when giving their wake-up calls: the first call at 9:30am is friendly and non- threatening; the second call fifteen minutes later is loud, angry and no-nonsense. With tired reluctance, the HGs pull themselves out of bed and a new day has begun.

Brushing teeth, making coffee, packing bags, plucking eyebrows, it’s a yawn-and-snooze morning. We catch a tidbit of interest outside on the patio when Robert says to Erika, “So are we okay for tonight?” Okay for what? Well, apparently even Erika is confused, but the conversation has to do with who will vote for which nominees and how this will influence the new HOH's nomination choices. We also hear Robert say when Erika gets up to leave, “This talk stays between you and me. After Jee leaves, there’s no alliance.” Hmm. Meaning no ties anymore to the Dream Team and their wishes or no alliance with Erika? Seems to me that it must be the first.

Five people left in the house, soon to be four: you’d think that you could have a conversation in relative privacy. Perhaps, but when you have the likes of Alie and Jun around, don’t count on it. Throughout the conversation above, Jun strategically placed herself by a window near the two and overheard enough of their words to make herself uncomfortable. As she says to Alie a bit later, “They were guaranteeing each other something.” This prompts a discussion about Robert and the possibility of evicting him tonight instead of Jee. They argue that Robert might be impossible for either of them to win against in the final two, but it seems like odd reasoning to us live feed listeners since Jee would be the most impossible of all to beat.

The morning and early afternoon falls to manicuring, lounging, napping and a plethora of FOTHs. If something of note were actually happening in the house, I might be more inclined to be a tad peeved. As it is, the damnable FOTH music is proving more entertaining than the sloth-like HGs today. What we do overhear and see that could be considered of note: Robert tells Jee that he is going to do everything in his power to oust Alie from the house. Jun takes pleasure in teasing Jee, but when he asks her to be nice to him, she promises she will for the rest of his “last day.” If she is not, she offers, he can “kick (her) in the ass.” We overhear BB telling the HGs that the winner of tonight’s HOH will be able to compete in next week’s HOH competition, as well. We also watch as the HGs go through a bit of rehearsal: they are told to “walk the evicted HG to the door,” do their “chatting” like they normally do, and “go to the desert room for the HOH competition.” The announcer also talks about rehearsing Alie’s POV speech, the eviction votes and the HOH competition, and we learn that there ~will~ be a POV competition for next week. Finally there is a FOTH, but not before we’ve gained a lot of information! Thanks BB (or thanks to somebody who forgot to throw the switch!).

Over an hour later, the feeds come back and the HGs are milling about, getting ready for the show. They all look very nice, dressed up and polished, but very little happens as they one by one enter the living room, sit and wait for the live show. Soon enough it comes and the feeds, of course, switch to FOTH. More than halfway into the live show, feed-watchers see, with little surprise if any, Jee exit the house and make his way with his bags to the Julie Chen-interview house. Yes, Jee has been evicted by a vote of 2-0, and Robert wins HOH after Erika misses winning it by a fraction of a flea’s hair.

As the feeds come back after the show, the remaining four HGs are chatting about seeing the sequestered HGs (they saw video of them during the HOH competition). Robert thinks Justin looks great and Jack looks better than he did in the house; Erika mentions that they seem to be somewhere “tropical” and “balmy”; Jun remarks that Nathan looks like “*****—dumb and plain”; Erika is tickled pink that Nathan picked her over Michelle as sexiest, to which Jun replies, “He thought Michelle was ‘wifey’ material and you were ***** material”; Alison is shocked that Dana said it was most hard for her to imagine Alie and Justin together, but Erika reminds Alie that because Dana hates her and really likes Justin, it makes sense.

More evening mutterings and happenings as the HGs come down from the high of the live show: Jun, walking around in a pink track suit, spooning Haagen Dazs into her mouth, comments that she looks like “a big, fat, ***** pink marshmallow.” Robert walks around every once in awhile sputtering out, “I can’t ***** believe this! I’m going to the final three. That is money, man.” Erika obsesses on two things: Nathan picking her as sexiest and losing the HOH competition by four hours (she keeps saying it was four, but wasn’t it six? I think she corrects herself later). She also wonders a few times why Jack would say Nathan was more attractive than her, to which Alie replies, “Homo, embarrassed his grandkids on television.” Nice, Alie.

In the meantime, there is also some strategizing going on, but with so few numbers and everyone lying to everyone, can we really believe anything we hear? Alie asks Erika to make a pact with her that, if either of them is nominated while the other is not, that the non-nominated person will use the veto on the nominated person (somehow this seems wonky: if Alison and Jun were nominated, Erika won POV and vetoed Alie, who would go in Alie’s place?). Erika remains non-committal, but it is apparent that the two women are conspiring to get rid of Jun this week.

By now, it’s closing in on eight in the evening, and both the HGs and us at home are wondering when the second part of the food competition is going to get underway. As the HGs wait, they do their usual things, as well as some not so usual things. Erika, tipsy on a couple bottles of beer, begins to flirt with a camera, asking it if it wants to dance with her and buy her a drink. The camera actually nods in reply, much to everyone’s amusement. Perhaps Erika spoils the moment, however, when she continues, “So, do you think I’m sexy even though you see me go poop? I always try to look sexy when I’m doing it.” Erotic, perhaps not. Hilarious? Well, Alison sure is busting a gut at it.

Soon Robert exits the DR where he has been for an extended period of time, leaving the women up to their camera hijinks, and gets to enter the HOH room that will be his for the week. Almost immediately the father becomes a little teary-eyed as he reads a bright yellow letter from his mother that, as the others say, is a letter he can read over and over again (his mother talks about his daughter in it, apparently). He gets Paul Mitchell hair products, Gatorade, Pineapple soda, Doritos, Converse sneakers (which confuse him since they aren’t his), and a fraternity sweatshirt that, again, has Robert looking more than a bit baffled (the letters don’t seem to indicate that it is his fraternity). After much excitement and tears (and chip-crunching by Jun), the HGs leave the room and Robert heads back to the DR to get instructions for the food competition.

At half past eight o’clock, the competition gets underway. Robert hands each of the women colored bags and tells them they have to dress in whatever is in the bag. While Alie is pleased with her outfit (and it ~is~ a gorgeous white embroidered shirt that she gets), Jun complains that hers looks silly. Once Erika shows them her outfit, however, Jun shuts up and decides to be happy—Erika’s blue and white ruffled outfit looks as though it comes from Acapulco, she says, and comments, “Would you like guacamole with that?” Robert, too, gets dressed up and in very little time at all, the four HGs gather outside in the backyard, beautifully transformed into a vision of Mexican beauty, and await the rules of the competition.

The competition rules are thus: each HG must break their own piñata while blindfolded and collect as many pesos as they can from the piñata booty in no more than ten seconds. If they collect only 500 pesos all together, they must endure a week of PB&J; if they collect 600 pesos, they get a regular grocery list for the week; 1400 will get them a catered Mexican dinner; and 2400 will let them choose a daily dinner all week from a menu (you know what is odd about this? They need 500 to get PB&J all week? So what? They starve if they get only 499?). Once the rules are clear, the competition gets underway and it is not long before the HGs are whacking their piñatas with vigor. First up is Jun who collects 650 pesos; next is Erika who tallies a paltry 170 pesos; Alie demolishes her piñata and collects 1060 pesos; and last is Robert who manages to gather 940 pesos. With a total of 2820 pesos, it looks like the HGs will be feasting until their bellies are full for the week. A sample of one of their meals? It includes chicken tamales, salad, crab enchiladas, carne asada, chicken, beef and shrimp skewers, marinated pork, pan-roasted sea bass, black bean salsa, flan, and Kaluha mousse cake.

After combing over the piñata booty for trinkets to keep, the HGs head inside where they are greeted with a surprise: the table has shrunk once again. Now it is tiny table surrounded by only four yellow chairs and as the HGs gather around it, it is time to reflect on the fact that there are only four people left in the house.

…

Okay, now that that is done, the women talk once again about how close Erika was to the tie-breaking question for the HOH. They wonder about the mathematics involved and question if 1434 hours was the correct answer. For a few minutes, they get riled up and ask for a recount, but soon enough Jun does the math and realizes that, yes, BB had the correct answer. Six hours away from winning the HOH, Erika can’t believe it, but when Robert calls her into the HOH room for a discussion, perhaps Erika is relieved to find out that Robert has no intention of nominating her. In fact, he tells her that he never really wanted her out, that his alliance with Jee and Justin was not a personal attack on her, that his fellow Stooges simply thought she was a threat and thus wanted to evict her, and that he is going to nominate Alie and Jun this week. He also tells her that, ideally, he wants to be in the final two with her—it might mean he loses, but he just can’t bear the idea of taking Alie or Jun with him. While Robert wants Alie evicted this week, Erika tells Robert that she thinks Jun should go before Alie, and she is quite honest that her reasoning for such is because she doesn’t think she can win against Jun in the finals. Robert, surprisingly, quickly agrees and asserts that his real motivation in allying with Erika is simply to have “two chances at the final instead of one.” If that means Jun will go before Alie, then so be it. He tells Erika that he would be happy if she won—she is a great “girl” and deserves it—and insists that he is being completely honest (completely, I am not so sure; he is trying to tell Erika that she will have Jack and Nathan’s votes to win in the end, as well as Jee and Justin’s—but how can that be and why would Erika believe him?). Finally, after much discussion and repetition, Robert ends up convincing Erika that Alie should go first, and Erika tells Robert that she will take him to the finals if she can.

Meanwhile, over in the bathroom, things are getting a tad catty as Alison and Jun badmouth Erika and Robert. They are upset that the two are talking alone in the HOH room and aren’t shy in expressing their feelings: “that bitch,” “I ***** despise her,” “he’s a ***** piece of *****,” “I can’t believe she is ***** talking to him after all the things he said about her,” etc. They know that they are going to be nominated and both agree to continue the pretence that they hate each other to try and throw Erika and Robert off.

It’s a night of meetings, it appears, as Alison takes Erika’s place in the HOH to discuss upcoming nominations with Robert. It’s after midnight by this point. Robert tells Alison that she is a threat being the strongest player in the house. Alison is flattered by this, but tells Robert that he would be smart to keep her since she, being so despised, is the easiest player to beat in the final two. Robert insists, however, that he is nominating Alie and Jun and that Erika will make the final decision about whom to evict. Alie then tells Robert that nothing is going to stop her from winning the POV, to which Robert replies that, if that is the case, she can vote anyone she wants out—he would not presume to tell her whom. He also insists that he has no alliance with Erika, only that after trying to get her out of the house twice, he is through with it.

Over in the other bedroom, Erika and Jun are conspiring and agreeing that they should stick to Robert’s plan and have Alie evicted this week—that way the two of them are safe. Jun tells Erika that Alie is pissed at Erika because she thinks Erika and Robert were “in cahoots” for the HOH competition. Alie enters the room, having finished her talk with Rob, and repeats everything he said to her. She also asks Erika whom Robert wants out more, her or Jun, but Erika answers that she simply doesn’t know.

And so it goes. By now, nearly one in the morning, the HGs are yawning while sprawled on their beds, but no one seems to be making a concerted effort to actually go to sleep. Erika, in fact, tosses and turns and ends up rushing to the bathroom at one point to throw up (upset tummy). While Jun chatters away about nothing of consequence, Erika wanders about the house, lounging in the hammock, looking at the wall of HG photographs, chatting with Robert about targeting Jun instead of Alie, etc. Robert offers a couple of times to give Erika a massage, but she either declines or ignores the offer. By this time, Alie and Jun are snoozing in their beds, but the exes talk for another hour at least about what they should do this week. They both believe that Alie and Jun want each other out first; Robert doesn’t think it would look good to the jury to bring someone hated with him; they wonder if they should get rid of Alie since the final three HOH competition usually requires endurance, something Alie would be better at than Jun; they both agree that they must do their utmost to win the veto; Erika is reluctant to target Alie after having given her her word not to (when Alie voted Jack out over Erika); they both wonder if some jurors might vote for Alison thinking she outplayed everyone.

It’s three in the morning by the time Erika and Robert break up their little confab. As Erika heads to bed and snuggles down for the night, Robert goes to the washroom. Thankfully it was poster davidmichelle who heard this and not me: “The capper of the night was when Feed 3 followed Robert to the bathroom and left the microphone on as he walked into the Water Closet. A loud, exhausting fart echoed along with the noise of the urine hitting the water in the toilet. It was a must-hear experience.” Er, maybe for you, davidmichelle, but certainly not for me.

Till tomorrow.