Day Seven dawns as Day Six rolls to a close after a long night confab between Amanda and David over cards. Though David is operating with the foregone conclusion that Amanda is simply counting her last days before Wednesday’s eviction, and thus his night with her was purely innocent in his eyes, he takes the first opportunity of the morning to express his concerns to Erika and Jack that the other women of the house may distrust him now. While he can clearly see their time together for what it was, he fears that the women (namely Alison, Dana, Jun and Michelle) are so “immature” that they will believe he is in cahoots with Amanda (is that assumption a product of immaturity or the simple paranoia that comes with being a HG in the Hamster House?).

After the night of mirth and alcohol the HGs enjoyed, BB is kind enough to postpone their morning wake-up call by an hour and the first voice to stir them out of their beds doesn’t sound over the PA until just after 11:30am. Jun is already up and showered as usual and has her face made up to her satisfaction by the time the other HGs are groaning in their beds and cursing the BB gods. Twenty minutes later, BB issues a second wake-up call and everyone tumbles out of their beds, but not including Amanda and David who have had no more than four hours sleep, tops, and only pull the blankets tighter around their slumbering forms. Meanwhile, Jun has begun her day with style as she tidies up the kitchen and complains about the pigsty the house is in. There are too many glasses to clean. These people are slobs. Someone scraped the chocolate off the chocolate almonds and left only the almonds. Wah, wah, wah. Though there may be some weight to her last item of complaint, her general air of disdain for her fellow HGs is less than appealing.

Early morning speculation has it that there will be an upcoming competition today as they are in current lock-down. Over breakfast they recount the antics of last night and laugh at their remembered silliness; Dana comments that they needed to do what they did in order to relieve pent-up sexual frustration. As the HGs mill about, one of them tries the door to outside and realizes that it is open; there is no lockdown, after all (or it is already over), and therefore no competition either. This proves to be intelligence causing dismay as the HGs are already prone to complain about their loathsome boredom—a mere week and two days into their stay with a dozen other strangers (well, minus one for all the exes) and they find themselves without the capacity to entertain themselves at their leisure. On one hand, it is frustrating to watch; on the other hand, it tickles me with the idea that those who make it to the end will entertain us with the delusions and desperation of a mind in search of stimulation (one can hope, can’t she?).

At Jack’s encouragement, Erika, who has said very little indeed about her ex to the other HGs, decides to approach Robert to “bury the hatchet” and ease the coolness that exists between them in the house. Robert’s reaction to her peace-making efforts is less than cordial. “What do you want? Don’t ***** me. We aren’t friends; we never were.” Their break-up was fairly messy and Robert still retains a lot of bitterness from it and various points of conflict arise heatedly in their conversation. When all is said and done, however, Erika states that she is only trying to “be the better person” and not act so “high-school,” and Robert shows the first signs of humanity in a long time when he admits that that is a good idea. He even goes so far to say, “Deep in my heart, I don’t hate you. I can’t. If, because of the past, you hate me, I can’t blame you. I’d hate me, too. But I’ve changed, and I don’t have to prove that to you because we are not dating.” Erika replies, “Of course you don’t—it was three years ago.” Robert then goes on to say that the other ex relationships in the house cannot compare with theirs. Theirs was a truly adult relationship with all the real complications that come with it, while everyone else has only has immature, petty relationships. Erika begins to cry and admits that the stress of the house is getting to her, that what happened with Scott has taken a serious toll on her, and that she is disappointed to realize that her hopes of coming into the house to learn something about herself and perhaps win the money are proving to be rather futile.

As Alie comes out to where Erika and Robert have been, Robert heads in and Erika begins to sing Alison a song, a song we have heard many a time in previous years but has never had such a tender ring of sincerity, a song about going home. She tells Alison that she has been miserable because of the discomfort borne on Day One between her and her ex and she had to make an attempt to alleviate it. Now that she has and it has been met ultimately with a touch of compassion (she thinks), she looks like she can continue on in the house with a measure more happiness.

Inside, however, Robert takes the first opportunity he can to tell Alison and Dana what Erika said, and their comments about her are less than kind. They think she is a liar for telling him that her extended hand of truce was not about the game; as Dana mutters, “If it’s not about the game, why is she still here?” (though I am sure it was a touch—or an avalanche—more crude than I can recreate). Robert tells them that as soon as he is HOH, he will nominate her, yet he is certain that she will do the same thing; he also thinks that she chose this particular time to approach him because he is “so tight with (them) all” (it’s so fun to listen to the Rat Bastard’s delusions). As for Alison, folks, we might be concerned that she is backstabbing Erika throughout this whole process, but to be fair (gosh, that was hard to type) she is backstabbing most everyone but Nathan. Contrary to her conversation here with Dana and Robert, she told Jack earlier that she doesn’t trust Dana, who despite saying she will nominate Justin, they know she won’t, and furthermore that they must win HOH next week in order to prevent Erika from being targeted. She also ~did~ attempt to suggest to Dana that what Erika did was more about “clearing the air,” and less about the game, but Dana won’t hear of it. So really, who knows what Alison actually means until she goes back and obtains instruction from her master?

Somewhere along the morning’s way we learn that the brief lockdown there was was in effect to enable some BB henchmen the opportunity to spray-paint some brown patches of the lawn green (they ought to get some brown paint and spray Michelle to save her the effort of lying out in the sun all day, but I guess she’d actually have to ~do~ or ~say~ something then). The HGs don’t seem to mind crunchy grass, however, as some disperse outside and others lounge around inside, all settling into the general chitchat that is common to the BB day. Erika is off in the DR, Robert is running his hands up and down Amanda’s back (she is up and awake by now) under her shirt and she doesn’t seem to mind (this woman has bad, bad taste in men), while Alison, Jee, Justin, Michelle and Nathan all sprawl out in boredom on the couches around them. They discuss the fact that BB is giving them too much alcohol, which seems ludicrous to this feed-freak who points out that they are adults who should have learned some self-moderation by now, so how “much” alcohol they are given should be of little consequence (as opposed to how “little” as in previous years when Nyquil-swilling was a favorite pastime. I suppose that, too, however, was the result of an inability to moderate one’s own actions—better for BB to take advantage of, no?).

In the kitchen, Jack is making more sense than any HG has so far when he tells Dana that her constant concern about alliances is going to keep her “biting her ass, going in circles.” If she tries to cover too many bases, he says, she’ll end up exhausted and will lose track of what is going on. He cautions that they should rely on themselves and worry less about what the others are doing. Over in the HOH room, Nathan is doing what he does best, which is put down any of his Harem whom he happens not to be in the presence of at the moment. In this particular instance, Alison is the lucky woman whom Nathan says “thinks I am all about her, but I am not.” He freely admits that he is using her and doesn’t trust her at all. Warning to all women who end up in bed making out with the guy: don’t think it actually means anything because the next morning he’ll be singing a different tune. After all, Nathan likes his women sexually adventurous and giving only if they’re not going to be his future, virginal wife. A bit earlier he also mentioned that she seems to be at the centre of every conflict and then mimicked her voice, emphasizing the valley girl lilt to it, and said as if her replying, “That is ~not~ true…what-ev-errr.”

Out on the patio, Erika gets her confrontational groove on when she approaches Dana about the events of the morning. Dana admits that she was “nosy” and overly-suspicious and says that she feels “***** horrible.” She realizes that not everything is about the game for the exes, and as Erika begins to cry again, Dana apologizes for not having pulled Erika aside to talk about it or keep it to herself instead of doing what she did do which was ream Erika out in front of the entire household. Erika is a bit of a mess; she tells Dana that she has been having nightmares and the whole “Scotty” thing really has gotten her down. Dana tries in her usual abrasive manner to console Erika, but her sincerity is wavering on shaky legs as she tells Erika that Robert told her how horribly Erika felt, which in turn caused Dana to feel bad about her actions. I can’t pretend to know how Dana is actually feeling, though I suspect her to be full of crap, but I certainly know that her morning conversations with Robert did not exactly have a whole lot of compassion for Erika in them from either side. At the trail end of the conversation, Michelle comes out and offers to be a crying shoulder for Erika, and the two older women laugh at this notion; “oh to be nineteen again,” one of them jokingly remarks, obviously amused at Michelle’s naiveté.

Dana heads inside and ~!!Surprise-Surprise!!~ she doesn’t immediately begin to bash Erika, but instead repeats to Alison and Jun that she does in fact feel badly for her. Having an ex in the house, she admits, must really ***** with your emotions and she doesn’t envy that in the least. She then laughs at how she feels like she is having to apologize to everyone. Again, surprise-surprise. I’m still waiting for the day she leaves a bag of potato chips on Jun’s bed, and then there will be some serious climbing out of dug holes and apologizing needed. Maybe she’ll sacrifice herself for Justin, then, and we can all breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Nathan’s harem, along with their petted master, then turns their conversation to Amanda. They agree that she is “sooo” nice and Nathan feels “like an ass” for getting rid of her (prepare yourself to live with that feeling for a long time, Nathan). Their generosity and self-criticism, however, only last long enough for their thoughts to turn to more pressing and important matters: how gorgeous their master is. In fact, Dana goes so far as to call him “the hottest man in America,” and Nathan pumps his fist in glee at this idea. When the others exit the room, Nathan dons a serious tone and whispers to Dana that if she doesn’t “chill out,” she’ll be walking out of the house in two weeks. Dana agrees and promises to tone her attitude down, though to guess how long Dana keeps good to her promise one need only estimate how long she can hold her breath before passing out (because that is the only way this woman can “tone her attitude down.” As she is fond of saying, it is the NY’er in her, though Space-Muffin help the entire state if that is true).

By the time three o’clock rolls around, the HGs have taken to the out of doors and lounge by the pool as the normal range of infinite proportions of chatter reverberate through our speakers or headphones. Dana remarks that she has worshiped the sun since she was nine, and though she may not look “like an alligator” yet, she is sure she will soon. Robert resumes bragging about his Hollywood connections. Jun looks at a camera and says, “What’s up Scott?” They all laugh. Rob mentions that he brought a Speedo and the women start discussing which guys they would like to see in such skimpy swimwear; David tops the list. Jun then states that if Jee wore a Speedo, they’d all see that the “myth” is indeed only a myth. When one finally asks if he has a large penis and Rob adds that Jee alleged that he is “nine inches,” Jun guffaws, “What, did he multiply by three?” The stereotype about Asian men is true, she says (and as an Asian female who maintains that she only likes to date white men since Jee, she is an expert on that?).

Later while lying in the hammock, Jun again looks up to a camera but this time muses, “They look down on us as hamsters.” A collective smile of laughter must have beamed throughout all North American feed-freak households at that point. When they all begin to exchange their email addresses, BB goes to FOTH but not before we snag a couple (to view them, go to the updates), and when we come back it is obvious that BB has warned them about sharing this information for all us crazy people to hear. The hamsters being adequately remonstrated turn to bugging David about his late night with Amanda (more than a couple HGs have implied that the two of them got down and dirty in the wee hours of the morning), so he then asks if any of the women present (Alison, Dana, Jun and Michelle) have gotten up to any sexual tricks themselves. They all say no, including Alison who declares that “the group just isn’t into that this year.” She says it with a straight face, too. Maybe she takes her lessons on the semantics of sex from Bill Clinton.

Inside, Erika now takes her turn talking to the camera, and in complete contrast to Jun’s mocking salutation to a perhaps-watching Scott, Erika sincerely looks into the lens and says, “Hi Scotty, we miss you.” There is a brief FOTH (no talking to the camera!) and as we come back, Erika has turned her attention to the game and states that she covets the HOH just so she can “get (Dana’s) ass out.” Though the strategizing gets tiresome to watch, I hope we get to see more of a game player in Erika as the game goes on—she just might have a chance to stick around awhile if she toughens up a bit. And yet her most endearing qualities are in evidence later as she heads outside and laments how she cannot put the turtles in the grass anymore for fear that they will eat spray-painted grass. This woman truly has a heart that extends beyond her own selfish needs, and before someone tells me that they are only turtles, kindness to animals is one of the first indications of a good, compassionate soul (okay, enough of the verbal orgasm over Erika, I swear; but if only we could get a man of her goodness with a face like Will’s, a knowledge like Roddy’s and a humor like Curtis’s, I’d be less apt to scoff at HG stalkers…ha!).

Meanwhile, Jack and Nathan are meeting to discuss the state of the house, and the customary threads of concern weave through their discussion. Dana is a “flake” who has lost all credibility and therefore no one trusts her anymore. They ponder the idea of facilitating her acquirement of the HOH to force her alliance hand. They also worry about Justin whom they think has figured out their silent attack on the “exes” (the very fact that they believe Justin to be a genius for figuring out their alliance is laughable in the extreme), and thus Justin is target no.1 for next week. Nathan slathers on his honey as usual when he tells Jack that the only people he trusts are him, Alison, David and Erika. For someone who criticizes Dana for playing all sides in the house, Nathan is either accepting his hypocritical actions as mere game-play and so absolves himself of any guilt for lying, or he truly thinks that his actions are the exception to every rule. As of now, I am unsure as to which it might be. As their conversation tapers off, Jack asks Nathan to look up the scripture I Corinthians 9:24 which goes as follows: “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.”

Once outside, bible-Nathan morphs into *****-Nathan once again in the company of Robert and together they rip on Alison: she has a good body, but “needs a lot of make-up” to be pretty; they wouldn’t look twice at her outside of the house (it might be important to note that it is Robert making these comments and Nathan is only laughing and agreeing, but does it really make any difference? Scum). More of his lovely personality shines through when a bit later Alison teases him about his alligator shoes and he tells her that they “are worth more than you” (granted, it was a joke, but I fear that Nathan’s estimation of Alison, despite his willingness to frolic with her, is quite low. Of course, mine is too, but I am not the one romping with her in bed at night).

Other afternoon/evening tidbits to take note of: Dana admits to Justin that there is an alliance against the exes. David keeps the house amused with his varied humorous antics. Alison admits to Nathan that she is scared to go to the DR for fear they will grill her about her make-out session with him. Don’t feel too sorry for her yet; she dons a rather convincing bravado and tells Nathan that she knows he thinks he “can blow over any chick” in the house. When talking game, Nathan postures and says that if either Erika or Jack get HOH and nominate him, “their ass is grass.” Dana reveals that it took real effort for her to cry for Scott on Saturday night. The HGs mention that Arnold Shapiro coached them to go into the house and “get close and cuddle.” Alison cuts Robert’s hair.

Erika and Jun are called to the DR together and everyone wonders why—it turns out there will be activities for the night and the two women are chosen to bring out the materials. They come out with buckets, T-shirts, hula-hoops and general tye-dye materials. The HGs assume that this activity will have to do with an upcoming competition, but for the meantime they just lounge around and wait to be told what to do. They play cards, eat, and chatter. Some of them try out the hula-hoops, some with more success than others. When BB tells them that they don’t have to do the tye-dye tonight, they are pleased because bedtime is approaching (this from people who stay up to four in the morning and it is only 10:30pm when they say this!). They play basketball. Nathan comments that he “knows” he will marry a virgin (***** sexist bastard! Oh, sorry, I couldn’t help myself—sometimes my fingers have a mind of their own). Dave sprays Windex in his eye by accident and the others laugh at his whimpers; he then moves on to other idiotic antics and uses a knife to stab around his fingers like in some biker bar game. Jun gets angry because Robert keeps calling her “Jee;” she says it is an “ethnic” thing. Michelle joins in with David to strategize and as the poster says who writes this particular update, “Yikes!” To be honest, it is more David plotting and Michelle answering his questions, but she’s talking game one- on-one and that is worthy of note. She even later ventures to say to Alison, Dana and Jun: “Wouldn’t it be great if it were the four of us at the end?” Oh poor naïve, misguided and stupid Michelle.

There is talk of BB3 (Nathan is called a Jason-wannabe), Robert continues to try to schmooze Amanda, Alison maintains to the other female HGs that “even a peck is cheating,” and she doesn’t want to cheat on her boyfriend (lmao), alliance-talk takes its paramount position in pre-bedtime chatter (of interest is the Harem’s discussion about using Robert as a “pawn,” wouldn’t he be surprised to know), and things settle down a tad earlier than usual with anticipation of a competition and an early vote on the morrow. With a few minor blips of interest (Alie tells Nathan that Justin and Robert surprisingly want to vote Jee out and keep Amanda, and Nathan is not happy; Dana rips on Nathan to Jun), the house falls into a slumber and week one of the feeds is officially over.

Note: Sorry about the wait, folks; there was a fire in my apartment building last night. Due to it being the ~fourth~ one my street has seen in two months, we were all more than a little concerned about it and I didn’t have the presence of mind to continue with the summary. I promise to have today’s recap up nice and early, however!! I hope you enjoyed the read.