Trash Talkin', You're Tellin' Me Lies
While I know you treasure every golden syllable of my prose, let's face it, these Daily Updates are LONG. This year's HGs are up almost around the clock—most days there are only two or three hours in the very early morning where all the HGs are asleep. In reading through all the various conversations, it's easy to lose the big picture of what's going on. (That's assuming a "big picture" even exists, which I doubt at times.) Also, significant conversations or happenings get lost among the reports of things like Howie asking Kaysar whether he masturbated during sequester (which, for the record, happened sometime after 4:00 pm.)
So, as a guide, I'm going to give you some of the highlights and interesting things that happened during the day, along with the approximate times they occurred, so you know where to look in the recap and in the Updates.
Summary of the Day
--You'd never know that there are still 10 HGs, because today's feeds felt like "All April, All The Time." Still, we can only report what they feed us.
--As usual, April spends the day ranting and trashing other HGs. Today's special topics are Rachel, the fact that April feels betrayed because Jenn is being friendly with Howie, and how great it will be in the sequester house. (I know it's evil, but I'd dearly love for BB to decide to save money and hassle by using the former BB house as this year's sequester house. Instead of the beaches and Puerto Vallarta that April is expecting, she'll get a long, hot walk across the CBS lot, lugging her heavy suitcase.)
--About 1:25, the memory wall changes, and shows pictures of the HGs from various competitions, including the HG's time to complete the comp on some of the pictures. At around 4:00 pm, the memory wall changes again, with some of the pictures changed and others moved around. Before 5:00 pm, the memory has returned to normal (the individual pictures of HGs).
--At 3:00 pm, there is a banner! However, it's an anticlimax, because only Maggie sees it. BB sends the HGs inside and tells Maggie not to talk about the banner. Unfortunately, Maggie follows BB's directions, so the other HGs have no idea what the banner said.
--Rachel wakes up cranky, and then later in the day, gets downright aggressive and emotional as she tells the S4 that they need to keep James. (2:00 pm)
--About 5:00 pm, BB gives the HGs two decks of cards.
--In the evening, James is a very busy guy. Around 8:00 pm, he tells Ivette that Rachel came to him and told him that Kaysar is going to be staying, because Kaysar made a deal with the Friendship that he would get James out next. When Ivette leaves to pass the news to the Friendship, Rachel comes into the bedroom and James commiserates with her about how crazy the house is getting. Then, during the 9:00 pm hour, James takes April aside to butter her up, and tells April everything she wants to hear.
--1:00 am is the wildest hour of the day. While Kaysar vents his frustrations outside, in the HOH room the Friendship simulates having serial sex with Jenn. (I wish I was kidding.)
--From 2:00 am to 5:00 am, Kaysar and Janelle have their last late-night conversation. However, it's pretty much the usual kidding around, with mild flirting. I've only included small tidbits of this conversation in the recap—there is a lot more detail in the Updates.
9:00 am—Wake-up call, and Jenn and Rachel are cranky.
Newsflash! Rachel was not awake before the BB wakeup call today....The BB HGs were awakened this morning by the BB musical selection of the day, Pearl Jam's "Better Man" and the announcement that eviction voting would begin in an hour.....Janelle sits up and says, "They played that song for me!"....At 9:30, BB announces in a loud and angry voice, "April, Beau, Ivette, Jennifer, Maggie—I said the bedroom lights must remain on during the day."....Then, BB suddenly turns on the lights in the HOH room where the friendship crew is sleeping.....Jennifer remarks, "It's so rude for them to wake me up when I don't even have to vote."....Maggie says to the HOH group, "We hold the power right now, guys. We. Hold. The. Power." Jennifer asks, "What does that mean?"....Maggie says, in an announcer voice, "Your group is going to self-destruct in nine minutes."
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the house, Rachel is awake and cranky. She is pissed that Janelle/Kaysar/Howie were noisy in the Gold Room last night, and says that if BB had any heart, it would call them first....Still grousing, Rachel says she's going to make herself pancakes and greasy bacon, and because she didn't work out this morning, it's going to go right to her *ss.
10:00 am—April obsesses about the sequester house and trash-talks Ivette
The "friendship" starts to get ready for the day...Rachel's cranky mood seems like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm compared to the conversation going on between April and Ivette....April is going on and on obsessing about the sequester house, saying "I bet it is gonna be ***** next door...Ivette replies, "No Rachel, it's gonna be in Alaska, now shut the ***** up."...April comes back with, "You shut the ***** up because I am not Rachel. And then come back at me when you get my name right."...Ivette says, "I said that on purpose, dumb*ss." April replies, "No you did not."....After some more of this quiet and restful morning conversation April remarks, "Welcome to hell."....April is also continuing to obsess about Howie, threatening that her good-bye message for Howie will be that he is a m*ther f*cker with missing fingers.
The "friendship" goes down to the kitchen, and complains about the dirty dishes. They say that "Alice" (aka Rachel) can clean them up....Jenn walks around looking sad, with her picture of her boyfriend Dan held to her check, asking him to come get her.
A little later, Maggie, Jen, and April are talking (in the BY?) and start trash talking Ivette for her friendship with James. Among Ivette's "sins" are that she wants to win the money and is playing the game in her own self-interest. (How terrible, since everyone else came on BB to make new friends and eat PBJ.)
11:00 am—April rags on Ivette and Jenn, and fantasizes about sequester
The ragging on Ivette continues into the 11:00 hour...April also continues to repeat that she doesn't care if she goes home next week, and she doesn't want anyone feeling sorry for her if she's up on the block, because sequester will be great. April knows there will be field trips and maybe they will let them go shopping......At this point, Ivette comes out of the house and tells April to stop talking about sequester because they're not allowed to talk about it. Then Ivette goes back in the kitchen. (Not sure where that came from. Did Ivette overhear April? Did BB ask Ivette to pass that along to April?)....After Ivette leaves, April asks Maggie where Ivette gets off telling April what to do since April is older than Ivette.....Maggie is still thinking about her hair color problems and April wants Maggie to find out if hair dye is allowed in sequester.
April goes inside, and Ivette comes outside to do a little victory dance about voting out Kaysar for James. (What happened to not being allowed to discuss their votes?)...Ivette says her neck is sore and Maggie attributes it to stress. Ivette denies that she is stressed....BTW, Rachel is outside, as well, and when she tries to join in the conversation, Rachel is frozen out by the others.
About 11:15 Ivette is called to the DR, and Jenn comes out, and sits with Maggie and April to plan the rest of their day....Rachel goes back into the house and Aprils rants that she can't BELIEVE that Rachel had the balls to come outside and lay out right near them......Rachel comes back out and April goes back to yammering about being in sequester....April goes on to explain how the votes will go, and as long as one of them gets to the final two, they win.....All three of them are feeling smug and giddy and April says, "It's fun to have that kind of control."....Maggie gets up and tells the others she is going to the "sh*tter." After digging out her wedge, she pulls the back of her pants down to show April her rear. April pronounces Maggie's rear, "White and hairy."
James and Beau come outside to join the others at the table....April is now making plans for after the show, and says they will make a quick "appearance" at the CBS afterparty just to be nice....Maggie comments that that sounds bad. James kiddingly says, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Don't piss off BB or they will make you look bad on the tapes. April (not kidding) replies, "Let them, I could care less."...Soon after, April is called to the DR.
Noon—More April and Maggie, with some James thrown in
Moving into the noon hour, James/Beau/Maggie are still sitting around the table. (Note: Rachel is still sitting on a lawn chair nearby, but is not acknowledged by any of the others.)....James and Ivette rant that overweight people should have to pay more for two seats on the plane and for health care. Maggie disagrees....But Maggie and James agree in their rant that it's not fair that illegal immigrants come to America and get free health care. Maggie/James try to make Ivette feel guilty for seeking public aid for some $10,000 to $15,000 surgery and burdening taxpayers....Ivette tries to change the subject by talking about a road trip she wants to take with her girlfriend, but the discussion goes back to health care....Maggie says she's thought about getting her doctorate in nursing and had considered going to medical school, but.....April (who is back outside) keeps interrupting Maggie, and says, "The money is so sh*tty now."....Maggie cuts April off and says "The money is good."...Then Maggie says, "I make more money than...." but cuts herself off before saying "the rest of you," and tries to talk around what she just said, and how doctors' hours are bad and its a stressful profession....Ivette tries to go back to Maggie's unfinished sentence and says to her, "You make more money than what?" but Maggie doesn't take the bait and says instead, "I make more money now than a doctor does in their first eight years."
1:00 pm—The S4 finally wakes up and the memory wall changes
The updates didn't include anything on how Howie/Janelle/Kaysar spent their morning. (I don't know whether they were not shown on the feeds, or whether the updaters were listening to the April/Maggie conversation.)...There was one brief mention earlier of Howie coming outside, but nothing after that, so he must not have stayed out long. As of 1:00 pm, Rachel and Howie are in the LR talking (but so quietly that we can't hear what they say). Janelle is outside lying in the sun, a few feet away from Jenn/April/Maggie, who are also lying in the sun....Janelle is called to the DR a little after 1:00....Ivette had been walking around the house, but comes outside to sun at about 1:00....BB asks Ivette, Maggie, Jenn, and April to put on their microphones, and Ivette says, "Shut up."....Kaysar has been sleeping, but got up, and was called briefly to the DR about 1:15.
When Kaysar returns from the DR, he joins Janelle/Howie/Rachel in the LR....Howie thinks that BB does not want to see a "blow out" by the friendship group, and thinks there will be a double eviction to make things even. (I assume Howie means next week.)....Rachel tells the group for the first time that Maggie approached her before the veto ceremony and asked if Rachel would consider using her veto to take Janelle off. Rachel thinks that Maggie asked for this because Rachel is their real target to evict.
About 1:25, Kaysar notices that the pictures on the memory wall have changed. They are no longer individual pictures of the HGs, but pictures from various competitions held so far this season (Match Game, Spelling Bee, etc.) Apparently there are also numbers on some of the screens, such as the time it took a HG to complete a competition....They wonder if the numbers mean anything....Soon after this, Jenn comes over (she just got back from getting the camera) and sees the changed pictures on the memory wall. She calls out to the HGs who are outside to come look at the pictures....BB tells April to put on her microphone, but she says she doesn't care, and keeps on looking at the memory wall. BB then tells her again to put on her mic.....After awhile, the HGs leave to go outside to take pictures with the HOH camera....However, Kaysar stays at the wall alone, with a smile on his face. (Does he have a secret, or does he just think the pics are funny?)
In the BY, the HGs are busy taking pictures....April complains to Maggie that Jenn has been too nice to Howie and that April is taking the brunt of the anger from the H/J/K/R group. April tells Maggie that she is disappointed in Jenn as a partner, and wishes Maggie were her partner. April says she will also never forgive James...Also, April and Ivette get into a shouting match (however, the only part of the conversation captured in the Updates is April saying to Ivette, "I don't care!" and Ivette yelling back, "Be nice!"
Inside Howie/Rachel/Janelle/Kaysar are in the bathroom, discussing the pictures and the numbers on the memory wall. They try to figure out if they are clues and think they will probably be part of tomorrow's HOH comp...In conversation, Kaysar tells Rachel that James is trying to butter up the Friendship. Rachel replies that the Friendship would never vote out James over one of their own, and Kaysar says he knows that....Rachel is convinced that James won't go after one of their group, but will go after one of the Friendship.
Outside, April's whine-fest with Maggie about Jenn and Howie continues....April says, "I don't mind people saying hi and bye and stuff like that, but to let them rub all over you and pick you up. I know Eric wouldn't do that." Maggie replies, "That is why Eric and I do not belong in this game"....April and Maggie agree that Howie is being nice to Jenn to piss off April, but don't like that Jenn is letting Howie do it....Maggie makes a puzzling remark. She tells April that something she(Maggie) did today could cost her the game. When April asks what it was, Maggie is evasive, and answers something that sounds like "you will see on the menu(?)." (That doesn't make sense, but apparently it was tough to hear.)
2:00 pm—Yet more April, plus an adamant Rachel
As 2:00 rolls around, April is still yammering to Maggie about how disappointed she is in Jenn...April says now that she wishes they hadn't put up Kaysar because she is getting the brunt of the anger of the other group...April is told yet again by BB to put her mic on (even though we can probably recite April's comments by heart at this point)...Ivette comes over to April/Maggie and repeats several times that in the eating sweets competition Janelle did not eat anything, but she and Beau were able to eat so much....Maggie and April say they are tired of being in the house....April says several times that she is not there to play a game...Ivette tries to talk April out of this attitude, saying that the Friendship has already won because they have more people but April just keeps whining about how Jenn has let her down by being friendly and flirting with Howie.(While April is saying this, she is watching Jenn and Howie holding hands and laughing in the BY.)....April starts to cry.
Inside, Rachel/Janelle/Kaysar are in the Gold Room talking strategy...Rachel is adamant (and very emotional) about keeping James...At one point, Rachel tells Kaysar to shut up, and that she is sorry, but every time they've followed Kaysar's advice about James they've gotten screwed.....Howie joins them, and reminds Rachel that the game isn't over, and compares it to a chess game....But Rachel says that the other side got them to take out their own people.
Outside, April's rant to Maggie continues. April tells Maggie that there is something else Jenn has done in the house and swears Maggie to secrecy.....April says that Jenn told her that when James was trying to save himself, Jenn made James promise her that if April and Jen were the final two that he would vote for Jenn to get the money. He al says when she and Jenn were talking to Jam when he was trying to save himself that Jenn made James promise that if April and Jenn were final 2 that James had to vote for Jenn to get the money....Jenn also said she got James to swear that if April and Jenn were on the block that James would vote Jenn off.
Inside Rachel and Janelle are talking alone. Rachel continues to try to sell Janelle on her plan to keep James....Howie comes in the room and tells them how Jenn had Howie take a picture of her holding the Queen chess piece, saying that she is the queen of the house now.....Howie is convinced that if one of their group gets HOH, the Friendship will try to convince them to take off games to take the heat off their group. Howie wants to keep James another week and take off one of the Friends.....Janelle goes into the kitchen and when she sees April there, tells April that she is beautiful. April says, "Thank-you" with a confused look on her face...Meanwhile, Rachel apologizes to Kaysar for yelling at him, but says she had to. Kaysar just kind of looks off into space.
Soon after 3:00, we get something we haven't seen for a long time--a banner!....The HGs see a banner plane, and BB tells them angrily (twice) to go inside the house.....James tells the other HGs they are not supposed to talk about the banner because "it will make other dumb*sses on the Internet do it, too." (Whoa James! Them's fightin' words!)....Apparently the banner read something like, "JBlo and Yapril America wants your DOR."
The group inside missed the banner....Just before the lockdown, Kaysar tells the group that one of the women on the other side was told twice by BB to put on her mic, and she gave BB the finger....Rachel says, "BB doesn't like them. BB likes us" and asks BB to let them get HOH next...Immediately after this, BB tells Janelle to stop obstructing her microphone. (LOL!) Howie says it's Janelle's boobies, and Janelle kiddingly asks Howie to reach into her robe and get her mic out for her.....Howie/Janelle/Kaysar sit in the Gold Room.....Kaysar hasn't said much the past hour except that this week has been very disappointed.....Howie and Janelle make fun of Jenn, wondering if she thinks she's going to be a supermodel when she leaves. Janelle says Jenn is too short. Howie jokes that Jenn could be a model for the Midget Wrestling Foundation....They also speculate on what the banner means, for example, whether America is going to get to pick the next HOH. (I wish.)
Elsewhere, Rachel, James, and Ivette are looking at the memory wall.....Rachel tells James that the rest of the S4 is sleeping in the Gold Room.....Rachel/James/Beau settle down to a game of coasters.....James speculates about how many people subscribe online and what they see....They wonder what the price is, and Rachel guesses $29.99....James kids about what would happen if America got to pick the nominees and they chose him....They also speculate on why BB decided to prohibit sleeping on the couches, when Eric and Michael got to do it the first couple of weeks. Rachel says, "Too boring for the bloggers, I guess."
Meanwhile, there's not much going on in the house, except that Ivette tells Beau she's found a place in the barracks bedroom where they can spy on the Gold Room. She plans to tell James later, and see if he can get the S4 into a conversation so they can spy on them.
4:00 pm—The memory wall changes again, and Kaysar gives Janelle a backrub
At about 4:00, Rachel goes into the Gold Room and tells Howie/Janelle/Kaysar that the pictures on the memory wall have changed again.. They are whispering and the conversation is hard to hear, but apparently the numbers were on different pictures before and the pictures are in a different order.... They talk about the pictures, trying to remember as much as they can about the competitions.....As they talk, Kaysar and Janelle are lying on one bed, and Kaysar has been massaging Janelle's back for quite awhile.....Howie kids Kaysar that Kaysar is "jerking it" behind Janelle's back....After Howie says something to Janelle about finger-banging, Rachel scolds Howie for talking about sex too much and that he should be interested in his own sex life, not everyone else's. Howie complains, "But, I'm not having any sex right now." ....Then Howie asks Kaysar "Did you jerk it in the sequester house?" Kaysar laughs and says, "No." Howie replies, "I would've.".....Janelle thanks Kaysar for the best backrub ever. Kaysar says it was awkward because he could only do it with one hand. Janelle asks Kaysar, "Well, where was your other hand?" Kaysar stammers that he was laying down weird. (Ha!)
On the memory wall, the pictures have now returned to normal. (Wow, that wasn't very long.)...The camera zooms in on each of the pictures....In the kitchen, Janelle and Kaysar are flirting. They raid the refrigerator for something to eat, and in the process, Janelle drops a pan.....The noise wakes up some of the sleepers in the barracks room and it makes them mad. Ivette comments, "(Janelle's) such a dumb b*tch."...In the kitchen, Janelle sits down to eat while Kaysar does dishes, and there is very little talking between them.
Ivette/James/April/Beau/Jenn having been so "rudely" awakened are chatting in the barracks room...They talk about the banner plane. James kids that they should have shot down the plane with anti-aircraft weapons, saying, "It only takes one." (Nice)....They wonder about the banner and what it cost. (It doesn't appear that any of the HGs got a good view of what the banner said.)...April thinks someone like her mother or her husband may have paid for a banner for her, saying something like, "Kill Howie." (Uh no, April. Don't think so.)
5:00 pm—The HGs get cards and Kaysar and Janelle flirt
About 5:00, BB gives the HGs playing cards.....Meanwhile, in the Gold Room, Howie and Rachel are talking. Rachel says she's tired of listening to Kaysar, and they can't force Janelle to listen, but will try to talk to her....Kaysar comes in. Rachel says if Kaysar winds up staying somehow, to know that Rachel won't automatically go along with Kaysar's plan to go after James right away...Rachel reminds K that he may not be going home tomorrow....They discuss a strategy of falsely befriending James, and nominating Maggie and Ivette.
In the living room, Janelle and Kaysar flirting, and play cards....Janelle tries to teach Kaysar how to play spades, then realizes she doesn't remember how....Then Janelle asks Kaysar if he wants to play "52 Pickup." Kaysar hasn't heard of that game, so Janelle throws all the cards on the floor (but neatly)....As Kaysar picks up the cards, he says, "That's stupid." Janelle calls him the biggest dork ever and they both laugh.....Next they try to play "Speed." Kaysar playfully grabs at Janelle and kiddingly accuses her of cheating.
Just before 6:00 pm, BB announces that the inside lockdown is over....Rachel and Kaysar go outside to play cards, while Janelle looks on....Howie walks by and announces, "It's the nerd herd!"
6:00 pm—Jenn misses her boyfriend and we hear how Beau got to where he is today
Inside, Jenn is going on and on about how much she wants to see her boyfriend Daniel. She complains that she got HOH the last week that it was possible to go home instead of into sequester....Jenn tries to go into the HOH room, but finds that BB has locked her out. (Wonder why?)...In the exercise room, April wants to talk about the banner. She says to Maggie, "You saw what it said, right? Did you see it?" Maggie tells April she's not going to talk about it...April tries to press Maggie about the banner and we get FISH.....When the feeds come back, April apologizes to Maggie, saying, "I've been a baby this week, haven't I?" (Uh, yup.)
As they work out, April continues to ramble, and Maggie tries not to respond....April says, "I wonder what's going to happen tomorrow." Maggie replies, "Nothing." April tries again, "I mean which side's gonna win." Maggie says, "I don't care" and April agrees that she doesn't care, either.....April keeps rambling and trying to get Maggie to respond. April asks, "Did you hear James said 'April doesn't like me'? Maggie mumbles, "No"....April says she wishes Eric were there. Maggie says, "I don't. I wouldn't put him through this game."....April continues to ramble, this time wondering whether she should change her attitude and play the game, because it's a lot of money..... April tells Maggie that Jennifer had no one else that BB wanted on the show, and the rats (BB) told Jenn that if April didn't do it, Jenn wouldn't get to be on the show....Maggie tells April not to tell anyone else, but Eric never told Maggie about the money that the winner gets at the end of Big Brother until she had already told Eric she'd do it. Maggie says she never would have done it if she knew money was involved. (It seems very hard to believe that Maggie knew nothing about what BB was about, but I guess it's possible.)
In the kitchen, James and Ivette discuss strategy....Ivette remarks that Kaysar's looking ragged(?)...James replies, "Well, he had plans. Big plans." Ivette says, "Huh?".....James says, "They (S4) see you guys as so dumb and pathetic and weak, but their entire strategy for 5 weeks has consisted of getting me out of the house. They see me as a threat. They don't see you guys as smart." Ivette retorts, "Well, I showed them." James replies, "I'd like to think that the whole (Friendship) group showed them. I told (the S4) from the beginning, do not underestimate (the Friendship group)....Ivette thinks it's funny that K left his group with a plan, but Eric didn't leave a plan. He said, "You know what you have to do." James chimes in, "Except getting rid of me." Ivette laughs and says, "Well, yeah."....James says, "Rachel is so much more dangerous than everyone else."
Elsewhere "one-note" April is asking if she can have cigarettes in sequester.....In the BY on the hammock, Howie talks with Janelle and Kaysar about prostitutes and that he might become a prostitute. Kaysar tells Howie, "When I said you will make a lot of money, I didn't mean becoming a prostitute."....H/K/J then proceed to have an April-trashing session, mostly making fun of her looks and her plastic surgery....Inside, Rachel/James/April are cooking.
In the HOH room, Beau tells Jenn how he became who he is today. We hear so little from Beau, I'll give you a detailed summary of his monologue, "I look at myself sometimes and I think 'What did I do to deserve this?' I'm hanging out with ludacris (sp?), Britney Spears, these black Amex clients--you know what the black American express is? On my cell phones they are calling me to go out, and I don't pay for anything. They want me to like show them South Beach or show them a good time. Because I know where to go, I could go into party hosting, charge 1k or 5k a night. I could make that a business if I wanted to,. but I was like, it's too much. I started working at the Delano in South Beach, I started working out in the gym there. Wait... How did I become who I am today?....hmm. Okay I take that back. In South Beach there are a couple of magazines....".....and the feeds switch.
Ironically (deliberately?) the feeds switch to Janelle outside, telling Kaysar and Howie about Beau dancing on podiums on bars and needing people to tell him he's fabulous....Then they trash Maggie. Janelle makes fun of the fact that Maggie has been dating a guy for 10 years and he won't marry her. Janelle says it's pathetic.
7:00 pm—Just miscellaneous stuff
In the kitchen, April tells Maggie that America's gotta see Howie as a f*ckin' nut. (Well, yes April, but not necessarily the biggest, and at least he's funny sometimes.)...April wonders if they did the right thing this week. Maggie assures her they did because "they would have come after us."....Elsewhere, Beau tells Jenn that the BB house color scheme is good for a dorm, but not a "real house." (Gee, Beau is much kinder about the BB house decor than I am.)....Rachel and James have a talk in the BY, with Rachel saying that the S4/S3 need him as much as James needs them to get to the finals.....In the kitchen, Ivette keeps screaming, saying it's stress relief. (Hmm, didn't Ivette tell Maggie earlier that she wasn't stressed?)...Rachel tells Howie that America doesn't want to see sissies. Howie replies, "But America doesn't want to see sissies. America knows about Busto (April). Don't worry America, I'll go what I can to get Busto out of here for you."...Janelle says the best thing that ever happened in the game was Eric leaving and Kaysar coming back. Howie retorts, "No, the best thing about this game was Eric leaving and Eric not coming back." (When he gets his mind off boobies, Howie can be pretty funny.)
8:00 pm—April whines, James lies, and Rachel cries
In the kitchen, April is whining yet again about her "family being attacked." Ivette gives April some grief, "I know you love your Matty Watty. Your MATTY WATTY! Your MATTY WATTY!" April looks pissed, but Ivette tells her, "Oh, you know I love you."....Ivette tells April that she's not supposed to look at the sequester house in a positive light. April then tells Ivette about the BB5 sequester house (in Puerto Vallarta) and Ivette squeals in delight.....Next, April complains that "fatefulness" (Janelle) ate all the ice cream!!!!" Then April tells Beau to stop picking at his face. It's giving her the "heebie jeebies." Ivette tells everyone to regroup—they're falling to pieces. April comments, "Oh, that happened a long time ago." (SO true!)
Then James takes Ivette to the bedroom, and tells her that Rachel told James outside that Kaysar is going to be staying because Kaysar made a deal with the Friendship to take out James if he stayed. Ivette is livid and says Rachel is lying.....Although James told Ivette to keep the conversation to herself, Ivette immediately goes to the HOH room and passes the story along to the others. It's not clear whether the group believes Ivette, at least at first. April tells Ivette that her story doesn't make sense...But, eventually Ivette seems to have sold the group on her story and they move to general trashing of Rachel and Janelle.
James is still down in the bedroom and Rachel joins him....Rachel complains that someone said she was on strike and wouldn't do any more dishes. Rachel says, "I'm not the d*mn maid." She goes on to complain how dirty the rest of the house is...James commiserates with Rachel....The talk turns to game and Rachel once again trying to convince James that he'd be better off if he stuck with the S3. Rachel is in tears, and says how tired and stressed she is. James sympathizes, and they talk about what a pressure cooker the house is.
Ivette/April/Maggie are now in the BY....Ivette complains that Rachel is talking to James...Maggie asks, "Why can't she?"....Ivette recounts a convo she had earlier with Rachel. Ivette told Rachel, "I knew you were shady the second you didn't vote for Cappy." Rachel apparently told Ivette that no one had asked her to vote for Cappy......They talk about swing votes, and April says that at least they can't accuse Jenn/April of that...Maggie goes in, and Ivette/April stay outside and continue to trash Rachel....At one point, April says to Ivette, "I hope for the sake of morals we get HOH tomorrow.".... Ivette says that Rachel is po'd because she can't get close to James. Ivette says, "That b*tch can't get close to (James) because I'VE been close to him since like f-ing week 1."...April goes on her traditional rag about how "the others" don't have a husband or a house to go home to yada. (Uh April, Ivette lives in an apartment and Jenn lives with her parents.)....April starts to talk about the banner and we get FISH.
9:00 pm—James plays April like a violin
In the exercise room, Rachel tells Howie that someone from the other side reminded her that Rachel's key came out after Janelle's in the nom ceremony and the comment hurt Rachel's feelings. Howie makes light of it, and says he can't even remember the order the keys came out. Then Rachel says it isn't bothering her, it's just funny. and it made her feel bad....Then Howie kids Rachel that he's going to join the nerd herd and vote Rachel out. Rachel says she'll do anything to get the veto to get Howie voted off.
Outside, April/Ivette are talking about Jenn....Ivette says that while Jenn is a player, she can be heartless...April says that she only knew Jenn a year and that she doesn't have any friends....Ivette says she is grateful to Jenn/April for keeping her last week....Ivette says that she knows Jenn lies, but she proved to Ivette that she keeps her word. (Huh?)....Ivette reminds April that Jenn is her partner. April replies that Jenn doesn't have her back now and that Jenn doesn't tell her anything....Ivette says that she doesn't see Beau as her partner, either.
Then James comes over and asks if he can talk to April alone. They go over to the hammock....James tells April that he didn't approve of Jenn and Howie being so close today, and that if April needs someone to talk to, she can come to James. James tells April he feels like she got sold out today....April goes into her rant about how she's not here for the money and she wants to go to sequester...Then April rants about how April came on BB because Jenn asked her and BB said that if April was not willing then Jenn could not come on the show. She says Howie was testing Jenn's loyalty to April and it means nothing. "I'm not the type e of person who will let down my morals, and I won't talk to Howie. He attacked my husband. He attacked my dog. (Is it just me, or does April always seem more upset that Howie attacked her dog.)....James tells April that after today, April would have his vote for the money over Jenn, because of the way Jenn betrayed April. (I don't always like James, but he is d*mn smooth.)....April tells James that she knows she's going to be portrayed as an emotional wreck (in the BB house), but at home she never cries like this. (Sure April, I believe that. I also believe that every time a fairy blows its nose, a baby is born.)....April asks James if Kaysar is evil, because April likes Kaysar. James tells April that she'll be disappointed when she sees the tapes of the show. (Okay James, you can insult my dog—since I don't have one—but you can't impugn Kaysar's character, even if you are a smarter game player than Kaysar.)
During this conversation April provides more information about how she knows Jenn....April says Jenn is an acquaintance who went to college with some of April's husband's friends. She and Jenn talked on a monthly basis, but had never met April's husband until right before the show. April has never been to Jenn's house. Jenn and April didn't go to the same college. Jenn went to Christian Baptist college and while they were in the same sorority, at Jenn's college it was the ugly sorority, but at April's college it was in the good looking one. (Of course it was.)
James buttering up of April continues....Among other things, he tells her that she has shown what a strong player she is by taking Howie's insults and walking away. James says that the other group had talked about doing this kind of stuff before.....James also says that "they" were trying to play he and April against each other, and that April's "friend" betrayed her today.....James tells April that it would be stupid for either side to put him up for eviction right now because it would mess up their numbers....James asks April who her side would vote to evict if April and James were on the block. April replies that it would depend on if they wanted to be personal or not....James tells April, "Only a coward would "backdoor.")....April hopes that the other side doesn't get HOH because she couldn't handle the stress. James tells her, "I told you guys I would compete for you."....April says she is going to pray tonight and that she was praying Monday night and the DR could hear her. (Well, yeah, April, the DR can hear you because they have mics.)...James talks about how before he came into the BB house he had no use for religion, but he was reading a Bible passage, and that it's funny that a show about lies and deceit might get him to go back to church. (Uh, James—We know you were a devout Catholic before coming into the house.)...There is more of this, then April and James do laundry without much talking. Then they go inside.
10:00 pm—Not much of anything
Around the house, nothing much is going on....Howie and Rachel try to wake up Kaysar and Janelle because he wants them to be able to sleep later and be ready for tomorrow's HOH comp....Ivette tells the HOH group that they need to have a team meeting, because the next HOH may be questions and they aren't good at them....Beau wonders if it would be bad if he got Janelle fired, because Beau knows the manager of the place where Janelle works....Maggie rubs Jenn's shoulders saying they are very tense...Maggie says there will be a group meeting at 10:45....Beau wonders if the HOH is a blackjack game, because they got cards. He says that would be good for him....Beau tells James(?) that he has "gone commando" 75% of the time in the house, but that he wears undies for competitions.
Janelle/Howie/Kaysar go outside to sit in the hot tub.....Janelle/Howie go over the competitions to prepare for HOH tomorrow....Howie tries to massage Janelle's back, but she says she doesn't want a back massage.
11:00 pm—Rachel talks to James again
In the dark barracks, Rachel is still trying to convince James that sticking with the S3 will get him to the final four. Rachel tells him, "(You hear them,) their primary objective is sequester house. James agrees that that's all they talk about. Rachel says, "Fine. Let's send them there. Rachel reminds James that the Friendship won't let him into the final two.....Rachel gives James some background. She says that the reason Kaysar went for James is because April told Kaysar all this sh*t about how he can't trust James, and Kaysar believed it....Rachel also talks about how disappointed she was with Howie when he was HOH. She admits that she gave the HOH to Howie because he'd never had it before. James is disappointed and mad at Kaysar, and says he doesn't understand why Kaysar believed (Jenn's promise in the HOH comp)....The convo is cut short when first April walks in and then Kaysar. Kaysar has a headache, but won't take a pill. Rachel says she has a headache, too, and has taken a Benadryl...Both Rachel and James are in bed, while April folds her clothes. All three complain about the "night owls" who keep them awake talking.
April leaves, and Rachel and James continue to have a casual conversation...James wonders if the house has any more secrets...Rachel thinks there are no more secrets about the HGs, but that the house has more secrets....James says that Maggie saw the banner and it would be interesting to know what it said.
In the HOH room, they have been playing cards and chit chatting, but their group meeting finally begins about 11:30....However, instead of talking strategy or practicing they continue to trash Rachel and Janelle....April offers the others money to get rid of Howie this week.
12:00 Midnight—Trash to the left of me, trash to the right
In the HOH room, the trash talk continues....April has some comments about "Iraqians" (her words). She says most "Iraqians" who come to this country have a lot of money. She then says "You know, not the Habib at the local store down the road, but.....".....April asks, "Who called Kaysar a terrorist?" Nobody will fess up, and Beau says he thinks Rachel did. "That's so racist!" says Jen. Ivette says she told Kaysar he was a bomber, but not a terrorist, or something. April says that BB thinks that April called Kaysar a terrorist and Mike a sexual predator (Didn't you, April?)....Beau says that Kaysar told him he went to a Bentley (car) dealership before the show, and that if he won BB he was going to buy a $350,000 Bentley (car). April remarks, "That shows you the kind of person he is."....Ivette says that Rachel is trying to get into James' pants now that Sarah is gone. April says that Rachel "has cobwebs in her pants." (That would be funny if it weren't so mean.)....One new factoid: Both Ivette and Beau speak Spanish, but BB has forbidden them from speaking Spanish with each other...Other factoids: April was the fourth partner they considered for Jennifer. Beau was the third partner they considered for Ivette....As far as I can tell from the updates, the HOH group never did have a meeting or an HOH practice session.
Outside, Janelle and Kaysar are playing cards, not much talking....Janelle is in her bathrobe, with her hair up....Once, when Kaysar loses a card game, he tells Janelle he sucks at cards, this game, at chess, at life...Janelle tells Kaysar that's not true.....Janelle/Kaysar kid about the pep talks Rachel and Howie keep giving them....Janelle says she's depressed and Kaysar says he thinks he knows how she feels. Kaysar says he's in a funk...Janelle asks if Kaysar thinks that Michael felt that way when he left, and Kaysar says, "Yes."
Inside, in HOH, April is continuing to trash Janelle, complaining once again that Janelle threw the sweets competition. Maggie (or Jen?) tells April, "You can't really prove that."....The HGs wish that BB would get food sponsor like Dunkin' Donuts or Subway so they could get some new food. But Jen says, "Nobody would sponsor us because we're always fighting and cussing." (Sometimes Jen is very smart.)
Outside, Howie has joined Janelle and Kaysar....Howie says, "That stupid fat bitch (Maggie) came to my room and told me this is how it's going to be. Don't worry Cappy! She'll be coming home soon!"...Then Howie tries once again to give his "this is only halftime" pep talk....Howie says the plot is to put up Jen and Ivette, and backdoor Maggie, to "split their spirits."....Kaysar isn't really listening to Howie.....Howie continues his pep talk, saying how good it will feel when they take the HOH key away from Jenn....Howie wonders whether Beau will be first or second off in the HOH comp. Janelle says, "First."....Howie/Janelle trash Maggie for being fat. Kaysar says that Maggie's legs are like tree trunks....But then Kaysar says that from now on until tomorrow he is not going to talk any more trash.
1:00 am—Kaysar is frustrated and the HOH group gets down and dirty
Kaysar/Howie/Janelle are still outside, and still talking trash....Janelle says, "Can you imagine if April won because her friends are on the jury?" Kaysar says he would throw up. Janelle says America would throw up. (Got that right, Janie!)...There is some more trash talk about April.
Kaysar is very angry and frustrated. He says, "Get me the eff out of here, away from these effing people." (Note: That is a literal quote—Kaysar said "effing" not f*cking.). Janelle reminds Kaysar, "Look at the bright side, you'll always be America's Choice!" Kaysar says, "What if they hate me now? America wanted me to do something. They were rooting for me. And (the Friendship) they were like '***** that, let's vote him out and not let him get any more popularity.' It's *****. I didn't have a chance in hell." Kaysar looks like he might be almost in tears. He pulls the blanket in his lap up over his face....Janelle says, "Aw" and gives Kaysar a hug. Kaysar tells Janelle, "Wow, you smell nice.".....Janelle says, "The people who voted you out are jealous of you." Kaysar is frustrated, "When people are jealous are you not supposed to be you? Not do well? What the *****? What do these people want? I'm so sad." (Note to readers--When you see **** that's the word used by the updater, and I don't have any idea of the actual word used. If I know the word, I usually spell it out, but with an asterisk.)
Kaysar goes on....He says, "I'm sorry I played clean. I'm sorry they voted me back in and not Eric, who was a complete loony. They're evil. They've always been evil. I hope the public sees that." Janelle assures Kaysar that they do. Kaysar says, "(The Friendship) is so proud of themselves, too. It's sad. Now I'm the Marcellas. I'm the one who they'll go 'Hey aren't you Kaysar the..." (Reminder to Kaysar: Despite his infamous mistake, Marcellas is no failure. In fact, Marcellas is pretty much the only former BB HG who's ever gotten a steady paying job in entertainment after BB. )...Janelle reminds Kaysar, " At least you're going out as the nice guy." Kaysar is still indignant, "I'd rather be out for being the nice guy than the *****. I have my dignity dammit. ***** that. All the nice people in the world are getting *****. I just wanted to get through this game without getting ***** by the *ssholes. It keeps playing in my head all the things (Jenn) said that night over and over. These people don't have a conscience. They ate me alive like a bunch of hyenas. Like jackals."....Kaysar continues, "When you guys were treating April bad, she came to me and said how much she loved me. The second you stopped, she wouldn't even look at me. I don't want to think this way, but how else am I supposed to think?"....Kaysar's soliloquy ends when Howie comes out and asks a question about one of the competitions for the HOH comp tomorrow.
In the HOH room, things have totally degenerated....Ivette tells April, "I told you I don't dig big boobs." April retorts, "You better not want to eat my crotch." Jenn tells the world, "I don't like my own pussy eaten, why would I want to eat anyone else's?....The conversation digresses further, and ends up with Ivette wanting to lie on top of April to show her how difficult it is to kiss a woman with big boobs. April covers her crotch and screams, "Nooooo." Ivette ends up on top of April anyway....Then Beau gets in the act and jumps on top of Jen. April pushes Beau down into Jenn in up/down motion. Then Beau gets up and Ivette gets on top of Jenn. Iv gets up and April jumps on top of Jenn. Then April gets up and Maggie lifts up Jenn's shorts. (Hmm, this wouldn't be what I'd be referring to if I called a "group meeting." I'm just glad BB decided not to give the HGs any more alcohol.)....After this, the group loudly yells all the bad expressions they have for each other. For example, April threatens to kick Ivette's *ss. They want T-shirts with the expressions on them....April declares, "This show has ruined my life." (I couldn't top that if I wanted to.)
Maggie tells Ivette not to call people the c*** word because people on the Internet will hear it and not like it. (Note to Maggie—The sad thing is nothing you guys can say would shock or surprise us anymore.)....Beau says that Ivette called him that, too. Ivette calls Beau a fag and he calls her a trailer-park dyke, etc etc....Maggie tells them to simmer down, so everyone goes back and just uses the F word for everything (which is apparently okay.)....April happily says, "At least we can have physical fights in the sequester house. How fun will that be!" (I am very scared right now.)....April keeps wanting to talk, but it looks like the others are quieting down and trying to get to sleep.
Back outside, Howie is still gearing up for the fight....Howie wants to know if he can ban (the Nerd Herd) from the whole second floor. Kaysar replies that you can't ban anybody from anything--just don't answer the door....Howie continues to pep himself up, " Do you think you can wake a sleeping giant and not get stepped on? Are you going to tug on Superman's cape and not expect us to do something about it? I don't think so! The best is yet to come, nerd herd, it really is. Nerd herd, we're coming to evict YOU!"....Then the three of them go inside because Howie is cold. They go into the bathroom while Janelle takes a shower.
In the bathroom, Janie is done with her shower but doesn't come out....Howie continues his rant about the Nerd Herd, then practices competition questions in a loud voice....Kaysar just wraps himself in a comforter, curled up in one of the bathroom chairs.....Kaysar gets a little joy from the fact that April will be known as "Busto" from now on. She'll walk into meetings, and people will ask, "Aren't you Busto?" Kaysar goes, "Can you imagine, five years from now....when she's 50?" (LOL)....Then Kaysar asks if they can show the dancing that went on in the house. Janelle says they can, and Kaysar says, "Great. My mom's gonna see me dancing."...Kaysar kids Howie that they should go in matching suits to the wrap party. "Be pimped out." Howie says he's just coming in shorts and a tank top. (LOL)
2:00 am—Janelle and Kaysar do some last talking and flirting
About 2:00 am, Howie leaves....Kaysar watches Janelle as she goes through her beauty routine... Janelle asks Kaysar if she can borrow his hairbrush, saying, "I love this brush." Kaysar quips, "The brush loves you too." Janelle asks, "Does it really? Kaysar laughing says, "No."....Kaysar hopes that BB is not pissed that he just wants to go home. He asks "What else can I do?"....There is a lot of idle chit chat and mild flirtation, not worth reporting.....At one point Janelle says she spends $400 a month on beauty products. (Yow!) Kaysar kids, "It costs a lot to be buxom."
After about a half hour, Kaysar and Janelle leave the bathroom and go outside to play chess....Janelle asks Kaysar if he'll visit her after the show is over, and he says he will. They discuss the plane fares from LA to Miami.....Janelle and Kaysar wonder why anyone would go on national TV and admit they used recreational drugs. Janelle says, "Remember we're talking about Beau and Ivette here."
3:00 am—More Kaysar and Janelle
Kaysar and Janelle are still outside playing chess, making idle chit chat, and mildly flirting, playing footsie for a minute.....Kaysar does an imitation of what it would be like if Janelle had a live chat after she's evicted. Kaysar in a mock voice says, "Janelle, I heard that you only date guys who make a $250,000 gross income."...Kaysar and Janelle go on the hammock and continue to make fun of each other and giggle.... At one point, they make fun of their "stay up all night, sleep all day" schedule. Janelle says, "We are losers!" Kaysar says, "We get up and go back to sleep." Janelle adds, "Our lives are meaningless." Kaysar laughs, "What have we been reduced to? We're pathetic. You get to around 5:00 and feel gross 'Yeah I should work out' but go back to sleep. And then we eat again."
At one point, Kaysar questions Janelle about the long-distance relationship she had with her boyfriend in New York. Janelle tells Kaysar that he's insinuating that she shouldn't even attempt a relationship with Michael, and that Kaysar has been insensitive lately. Still, Kaysar brings up some of the logistical problems, like the fact that Michael works during the week and Janelle has to work weekends because of the tips. But, in the end, Kaysar say they'll work it out, that true love always prevails.
4:00 am—Kaysar and Janelle's final late-night conversation
As 4:00 am rolls around, Janelle and Kaysar are still in the BY talking....They make fun of Beau for awhile. Kaysar says that Beau makes stuff up about his life experiences, saying "(Beau's) a boy scout, he models a bit, he's in a movie, he saved the world a couple of times...Kaysar says it would be sad to be evicted by America. Janelle wonders who America would evict—James? Kaysar says, "No! April!" (You got that right, Kaysar.)
Finally Janelle and Kaysar go inside because they're cold....They talk about regrets in the game...Janelle wishes she'd stayed on the surfboard longer. If she'd won HOH, she would have put up Jenn and Ivette...Janelle also wishes that Sarah was still there, because she was the only normal girl in the house besides Rachel. Kaysar agrees, "The rest of them make Ivette look normal."....Janelle and Kaysar continue to trash the other HGs....Then Kaysar says, "I blame myself for signing up for this because he knew there would be wack jobs. They're not trying to annoy me. They're just annoying. I hope they show it (on the TV show). I hope they show all their issues."....Kaysar thinks that backstabbing America's choice is going to backfire on Jenn, because she thinks she's going to be famous and well-liked when she gets out of the house....Kaysar also says that the tabloids will have April with a headline, "Half-woman, half-bird." (LOL).....Factoid: Janelle says they went through six people before they found Ashlea as a partner for her. Kaysar says that they went through one for Mike—Kaysar....Kaysar predicts that Eric is on Web sites pretending he is someone else saying good things about Eric. (I know this stuff is mean, but it's so right on it's hilarious.)
Finally, at close to 5:00 am, Kaysar and Janelle head for bed....Janelle asks Kaysar to sleep in her bed. Kaysar says, "No. You might grab my butt."....Janelle heads to bed in the Gold Room, and after saying his prayers, Kaysar goes to bed in the barracks.
Good-night hammies. Kaysar--I'm gonna miss you, buddy. The house will lose something important when you're gone.