It's July and here in BigBrotherLand, we are climbing the walls trying to
guess what is going on RIGHT NOW in the Big Brother house.

We know everyone was sequestered this past Thursday. Michael, Will, Janie,
and Marcellas all but told us that outright on their web pages. What is
going on? Just like the seventh season, we have seven theories about the
situation. And it wouldn't be Big Brother if there weren't twists that the
audience and the houseguests just didn't see coming.

THEORY ONE - THE NO BRAINER THEORY
If everything went off as advertised and expected, then Big Brother 7 would
begin like BB1 and BB2. The show would start on July 6 with everyone in
front of the house, all 20 of them with their suitcases. Probably, there
would be video footage of each one's story both from previous Big Brother
seasons and today.

Then, Julie Chen would announce the names of the producers' favorite 6 and
then the audiences 6 chosen ones. Those folks would run inside to secure a
bunk. The others would look sad, appear the next morning on the Early Show
in a remote from Hollywood, and go home having received another 15 minutes
of fame.

THEORY TWO - NO BRAINER WITH A TWIST
Under this scenario, the show would start just like before. However, after
the names of the 12 houseguests are announced, Julie will announce that two
of the forsaken 8 remaining potential contestants will be given a reprieve.
They will have a battle and the highest or two highest scorers will earn a
bunk inside and a place in the cast. That makes three ways to get in the
house: the producers like you, the audience likes you, or you earned your
way in on your own.

THEORY THREE - THE TWO HOUSE THEORY
Two versions of the two house theory are going around. One version has the
other eight contestants, the ones who don't make it into the house on July 6
as producers or audiences favorites, going into a second house where they
will play the game there. The second version of the two house theory has
the group being split into two groups of 10, each thinking they have the
only house when actually there are two houses.

THEORY FOUR - THE HOUSEGUESTS ARE IN THE HOUSE ALREADY
This concept emulates Big Brother of more recent seasons. This idea has the
12 houseguests selected by both audience and producers in the house already,
since last week, so the show can be in full force when the live feeds go on
July 6. The other eight either are merely waiting to say goodbye on air, or
one or two will fight it out for another bunk live on the premiere show.
After all, the program hasn't been advertised as a live show.

THEORY FIVE - THE RICH MAN, POOR MAN THEORY
Much like the British show "Upstairs, Downstairs" the Big Brother house will
be divided via a caste system. The upper class and lower class members will
be decided by a team competition and since houseguests will choose their own
teams, they are each responsible for their own fate. Another version of
that is either those chosen by the producers or the cast members selected by
the audience will be the upstairs privileged ones while the others will
spend the first few weeks eating peanut butter and answering the calls of
the upper crust. Perhaps the lucky one will ring bells when they want
something; even more reasons for the lower group to win competitions and
vote out their snobby roommates.

THEORY SIX - THE NEWBIE THEORY
After reviewing the tapes of the earlier shows and looking at how the
houseguests have become even worse behaved then when they were first on the
show, the producers decided to scrap the All*Stars idea and recruit 12
newbies for the seventh season. A second version of that is the producers
decide to keep their six picks but since the audience’s choices are too
annoying to ever go back on TV, the production staff recruits six newbies.

THEORY SEVEN - THE REAL ALL*STAR THEORY
This year Julie Chen is going into the house too. She is going to do the
Early Show live from the Diary Room with help from the Houseguests.
Unfortunately for Julie, Marcellas begins fighting her for space to do
Housecalls. Julie gets upset and one by one, the 12 houseguests mysteriously
disappear and are replaced by actual stars: Madonna, Ozzie Osborne, Dan
Rather, Carson Daly, Lindsay Lohan, Billy Bush, Chelsea Clinton, Jackie
Stallone, Tom Cruise, Joan and Melissa Rivers, and Mick Jagger. Now there's
a show worth watching all summer!