As most of you know, the Golden Globe film nominations frequently foretell the Academy Award nominations. In a recent Entertainment Weekly article, the Globes were listed as having an 80% accuracy rate at predicting Academy Award nominations.

In this spirit, I have added my own traditionally opinionated commentary and predictions to the 16 category film nomination list for your entertainment!
Enjoy!

BEST MOTION PICTURE - DRAMA

Brokeback Mountain (Well, Duh! This is leading the race with 7 nominations & is bound to win most of them, including this one. All but guaranteed for matching AA nominations.)

The Constant Gardener (The best movie that no one has seen except for me, I think. Unfortunately, this should be all the nomination love it receives.)

Good Night, And Good Luck (AKA George Clooney in black & white AND behind the camera!)

A History of Violence (Good enough for a Best Picture nomination, yet neither David Cronenberg nor Viggo Mortensen were nominated? NOT FAIR, and not a good indicator for the AA’s.)

Match Point (Is this a desperate attempt at getting Woody Allen to show up at the Globes? FAT CHANCE at that! He has never won a major award for a dramatic piece of work…though word is that this Hitchcockian thriller is among his best.)


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS - DRAMA

Maria Bello, A History of Violence (Whatever. Not that she doesn’t deserve it, I’m just pissed about the Viggo thing.)

Felicity Huffman, Transamerica (Well, she did win that Emmy. Maybe it’s her lucky year?)

Gwyneth Paltrow, Proof (Only nominated because 1. She’s an Academy Award winner & 2. To get her to come to the ceremony- hopefully with little Apple and Chris Martin in tow!! 3-3-3 Photo Ops in One!!)

Charlize Theron, North Country (More people have see “Aeon Flux” than have even heard of North Country, which isn’t saying very much, is it? I believe Charlize is the most likely winner of this category though I’d rather see ANYONE else win. Seriously- how many “beautiful starlet uglies up for film” scenarios do we have to reward?)

Ziyi Zhang, Memoirs of a Geisha (Can we say “token”? If the industry-beloved Rob Marshall wasn’t even nominated for directing this thing, odds seem slim-to-none of her winning.)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR - DRAMA

Russell Crowe, Cinderella Man (Better known for his appearance in the Manhattan Criminal Court as Third-Degree-Assault-With-a-Telephone-Man.)

Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote (Impersonationomination!)

Terrence Howard, Hustle & Flow (AKA the ONLY African American film actor nominated this year, out of over 30 available acting nominations.)

Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain (But not Jake Gyllenhal? They will make extra room in a category to nominate NATHAN LANE, but not Jake? Again I am forced to scream, NOT FAIR!! Seriously- Heath Ledger will just go right back to making movies like “A Knight’s Tale”, “the Order” and “10 Things I Hate About You” after he wins this, while Jake will continue to make critically loved films. Heath is extremely lucky that Joaquin Phoenix isn’t competing in this category. It will be interesting to see those two go head-to-head at the AA’s.)

David Strathairn, Good Night, and Good Luck (Another impersonomination, however warranted.)

BEST MOTION PICTURE - MUSICAL OR COMEDY

Mrs. Henderson Presents (Judi Dench's annual nomination attempt.)

Pride & Prejudice (A given, right? What is this, the 12th remake to be nominated this year? Hey, let's adapt some NEW old books!)

The Producers (They had to have an ACTUAL musical in the category, but will it make it to the AA’s?)

The Squid and the Whale (This year’s token Underdog film, about two boys dealing with their parents divorce, set in the decade du jour- the 1980’s. Likely winner at Independent Film Awards, not so much for the commercial-heavy GG’s.)

Walk the Line (Got to be the winner here!)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS - MUSICAL OR COMEDY

Judi Dench, Mrs. Henderson Presents (is it just me, or do people MAKE reasons to nominate Dame Judi? I mean, has there been one movie she has EVER MADE that did not get nominated in this country??)

Keira Knightley, Pride & Prejudice (Yes, yes, you’re luminous, we know.)

Laura Linney, The Squid and the Whale

Sarah Jessica Parker, The Family Stone (Another person only nominated to get her to come to the ceremony with her husband!! Sometimes I get the feeling that these nominations were made by the “close your eyes and point” method.)

Reese Witherspoon, Walk the Line (Impersonationomination alert! How could she not win this? A win will solidify an AA nomination, but is this performance AA worthy?)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR - MUSICAL OR COMEDY

Pierce Brosnan, the Matador (?? When I think Pierce Brosnan, I think neither musical nor comedy. Unless I confuse him with Bronson Pinchot, whom is quite hysterical. Let’s just give this to Bronson Pinchot, wadda ya say?)

Jeff Daniels, The Squid and the Whale

Johnny Depp, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (IN-SANITY. I love Johnny Depp and all his eccentricities, but this was hands-down THE creepiest and most disturbing portrayal captured on film since the LAST Willa Wonka! They will do anything to get this man to the awards shows, even at the expense of those more deserving, like Matthew Broderick for example. Why do I feel like there was more focus on casting the GG ceremony than the worth of the nominess? Oh well. Let’s hope Johnny isn’t arrested for biting a photographers nose off before the show…)

Nathan Lane, The Producers

Cillian Murphy, Breakfast on Pluto (Because everyone who cross-dressed in a film this year has been nominated.)

Joaquin Phoenix, Walk The Line (A lock, I’d say, even if it is another Impersonationomination!)


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Scarlett Johansson, Match Point (Joining the “Judi Dench Nominated for Every Performance Ever Club”. Oh yah, I forgot about Scarlett in “The Island”! Just like everyone else did!)

Shirley MacLaine, In Her Shoes (Better than nominating her for Bewitched, I guess.)

Frances McDormand, North Country (Got to be a major contender for this!)
Rachel Weisz, The Constant Gardener (Thank god! A nomination for THE most underestimated actress of our time.)

Michelle Williams, Brokeback Mountain (I love it when real wives portray real wives, it’s such a stretch. But I love it even more when teen-nighttime-soap alumni make it to the “big time”! Do I sense a new celebrity nickname coming? Perhaps “Heathelle” or “Micheath”? Just doesn’t flow like “Tomkat”, does it?)

>This category is tough to call. I’d say it’s between Frances and Scarlett since they have had a chance to prove themselves a bit more than Michelle. But If “Brokeback” sweeps, and it looks likely, Michelle will win due to association.
>I just can’t believe that the Hollywood Foreign Press couldn’t find SOME way to include Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie in this category (And Brad Pitt in another). I thought they LIVED to orchestrate socially uncomfortable celebrity moments!


BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

George Clooney, Syriana (AKA George Clooney in color)

Matt Dillon, Crash (This was lauded as the best film of the year until, like, last week. What the heck happened to all the other acting nominations it should have gotten?)

Will Ferrell, The Producers (YEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! The comic genius of our time is finally recognized in a mainstream awards show!!!!!!!!!!!!I am already looking forward to his presentation)

Paul Giamattii, Cinderella Man

Bob Hoskins, Mrs. Henderson Presents

>Another tough category to call, but I am leaning towards a trophy for George for all his ambitious film work this year. But I cannot rule out Matt Dillon. Did I just say ‘Matt Dillon’ in conjunction with a major award?


BEST DIRECTOR (ALL MEN, as usual!)

Woody Allen, Match Point (If he wins this, I think it would be one of the biggest GG moments in history- locking an AA nomination in the process. How many more chances will he have? The man is 70!)

George Clooney, Good Night, and Good Luck (AKA George Clooney behind the camera. Hollywood LOVES to recognize it’s actors-turned-actor-screenwriter-producer-directors.)

Peter Jackson, King Kong (HOORAY! Finally, the most brilliant director of our time is- oh, wait. The last five years just slipped my mind. Probably just a token nomination anyway.)

Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain (Doing his part to atone for the Hulk, one film at a time.)

Fernando Meirelles, The Constant Gardener

Steven Spielberg, Munich (Token! Sorry Steven, but it is!)

BEST SCREENPLAY

Woody Allen, Match Point (Deserves to win this due to the fact that he is the only one who managed to write a movie all by his wittle wonesome!)

George Clooney & Grant Heslov, Good Night, and Good Luck (AKA George Clooney at a desk. I am starting to see a pattern here…!)

Paul Haggis & Bobby Moresco, Crash (Thankfully recognized. This is the most deserving winner, but how can you compete with the scribe of “Lonesome Dove”?)

Tony Kushner & Eric Roth, Munich

Larry McMurtry & Diana Ossana, Brokeback Mountain (The frontrunner. Westerns are a powerful force at both GG and AA time.)


BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

Alexandre Desplat, Syriana

James Newton Howard, King Kong (We’ll see if James Howard can succeed where Howard Shore apparently failed.)

Gustavo Santaolalla, Brokeback Mountain (Favorite due to association)

Harry Gregson-Williams, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (Oh, how nice for them! A nomination! WHAT THE *^&%$ ABOUT HARRY POTTER???)

John Williams, Memoirs of a Geisha (John Williams would get a nomination for scoring a Mentos commercial.)

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

"A Love That Will Never Grow Old" -- Brokeback Mountain
Music by: Gustavo Santaolalla (The only nominated song also written by the score Composer.)
Lyrics by: Bernie Taupin

"Christmas in Love" -- Christmas in Love
Music by: Tony Renis
Lyrics by: Marva Jan Marrow

"There's Nothing Like a Show on Broadway" -- The Producers
Music & Lyrics by: Mel Brooks (Keep rockin’ it hard core, Mel)

"Travelin' Thru" -- Transamerica
Music & Lyrics by: Dolly Parton (Go, Dolly!)

"Wunderkind" -- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe
Music & Lyrics by: Alanis Morissette . (Need I say more?)

>This category is traditionally impossible to predict. Logic dictates "A Love..." due to association.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Kung Fu Hustle (CHINA)
(THE Kung Fu Hustle? Well, I hope it wins just on principal! Any movie described by Roger Ebert as a “..Mix of Jackie Chan, Tarantino & Bugs Bunny”* is a step in the right direction for foreign film. I mean, did you ever notice how the foreign films nominated are generally depressing, bloody, or both? I thought laughter was universal?)
*[http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/kung_fu_hustle/]

Master of the Crimson Armor aka The Promise (CHINA) (period action/fantasy about a princess, a duke, a general, and a slave. I’m rooting for the duke.)


Merry Christmas (Joyeux Noel) (FRANCE) (from IMDB: “On Christmas Eve during World War I, the Germans, French, and Scottish are trying to make peace, so they bury their dead and play football”. Hey, anything with football is fine by me…Oh- THAT football! Nevermind.)

Paradise Now (PALESTINE) (A tale of two Palestinian friends who are recruited for a strike on Tel Aviv, and their last days together. Cheerful!)

Tsotsi (SOUTH AFRICA)
(from EDFilmFest.org.uk-“After beating one of his own gang almost to death in an argument, Tsotsi shoots a woman outside (his) home and steals her car - unaware, in his panic, that her baby is in the back seat, or that said child will mark the first stage of his long, reluctant path to redemption..." Grim, bleak, insightful- sounds like our winner!)


Stay Tuned for Part II…The Television Nominations!
(Just as soon as I finish constructing my Naveen Andrews and “My Name is Earl” good luck shrines. All I need is an Office Depot Crab Man sign and I am alllllll set.)

See You All Next Year!!



-A.L. Cronenberg is an avid reality TV fan and freelance writer from Denver, CO.