Jokerette recaps the first episode and holds nothing back!
A&E 8PM CST
16 people came to build a house in Harmony FLA. One keeps it. Think "Our House", which is the theme song. George Wendt hosts. Worth the watch?
Being eliminated from the House of Dreams means simply drawing a key which doesn't work: two souls draw red keys. The rest vote on which goes and stays.
They have a contractor, Jo Bukey. He starts right in teaching them about block work. They also get their tool belts and have a lesson in shaving pencils, along with a cheesy cheer. I'm beginning to cheer for the pencils.
Flor, the attorney, enjoys the block laying. The bartender isn't so sure. The waiter from the UK likes thinking someone who needs the house will get it. John, the cop, isn't delighted when Bukey trots over and rips all their blocks down as it wasn't level: seems he's the only one with the level. Now that ain't fair.
They install 2 rows of blocks, and Joe tells them they're coming back for the first Key Fit Ceremony and find out where they're staying. They walk to a nearby campground. It looks lovely: Survivor people would kill for those huts. Flor is already bitching about Mike and Jared, who are loud. New York accents reign in the one hut: that, and laughter. Put me in =that= one.
Matt, who councils kids, says Mike A has just left the frat house and doesn't need to be there. Others bitch about hammock use.
The keys are in a hewn, shined log. The enormous host appears and points to the door. Everyone picks a key and walks through the door, or not. The rest will have 48 hours to pick the loser.
But wait, do I want a house built by a bitching lawyer and laughing New Yorkers? Not sure. I'll be damned! No sooner did I type that, Flor snagged a key that didn't work. Heh. She'll be given a chance to plead her case.
We get down to the last two, Patricia and Tony, who haven't picked a key. Predictably we go to break. Don't know about you, but I'm tired of predictable. BTW Patricia grabs the other non-functioning key.
All the contestants retire to their huts. They introduce themselves. Flor says she doesn't want to practice law any more. She wants to travel. Diggy is a record producer. John does on-line trading. Lisa is a walking self-esteem problem. Her words. Diggy says from there the tone descended, who has the worst problems. And honest to Gawd, it sounds like an AA meeting to me (mind you, not that I'd know. But of course I've seen one on TV.)
Tony, a red hatter, says a lot of you get to go home and I don't, my family is in a shelter. It's hard not to be able to provide for your family. His baby is 4 and has never had a key. This is a husky big fellow. Wonder why he doesn't have a job for four years? He breaks down and cries telling his tale. I squint at my screen. He's building a house =now=. Aren't there plenty of construction jobs out there? If this was supposed to pluck my heartstrings, it failed.
Patricia starts asking folks, next morning, if they're voting for her. Some say yes, some say no. She talks of 5 little kids. Flor sees her doing this, doesn't want to go begging, so to speak. She decides to sit back and watch, and hope poor Patty trips over her tits, so to speak.
We see both people packing in what's become a miserable downpour. 1 hour from eviction and tensions run high? Or not. I am having great trouble feeling sympathy for any of these people.
George gathers the group and asks who, of the red hats, pulled their weight. Who best fits into their game plan. And then, the two Survivor-esque speeches.
Patricia stands to make her plea. Comically, they stand at a design table with a desk lamp (outside, no less) to make their pleas. Hers involves her kiddies. Flor the lawyer hops up, gives one helluva speech of course. Whose story is less threatening to your story? The lawyer who quit or the lady with a cause?
Flor and Patricia are told to stay away. Then the twist. If the jury is tied, the two pick one of them to take their place. If they can't decide on someone, they are both evicted. Finally my interest perks: this is the coolest way to handle ties. Of course, how many ties will there be? And is this show watchable to see who ties in the last ten minutes?
George tells the jury to start deliberating. Patricia and Flor can't come to a decision, for their part. They're both intent on getting someone out of each other's huts. And the decision is made, announced by George (Probst, your job is safe. Really.)
To my amazement they keep Flor the lawyer. The begging mom is out on her ass, she has to hang up her hardhat. Motto: when it comes down to speeches, the lawyer WILL gitcha in the end.
Patricia paddles away, with a surprise $5,000 check from Lending Tree. I paddle back to Jokers, in total relief.