JokersUpdates resident Queen of Snark on twists, choices, and opinions on how the players are faring.
OH BOY! (insert dripping sarcasm here as it does not come across in print) "Amercia" gets to vote regarding the coaches going in or not. PUHLEASE! We all know how this is going to go. The votes are going to ge counted by the accounting firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe and the coaches are going into the game. I never believe reality show votes. From American iDULL So You Think You Can Dance to Big Brother - if a vote is involved I skip it. I don't believe the results. The only reason I believe the results of such things as Oscars & Emmy's is because a Certified Public Accounting Firm validates the votes. And Typically a pair of accountants are paraded across the stage. Reality TV on the other hand seems to manipulate results to suit their whim and whimsey. Want to change my mind on this? Yeah - hire a public accounting firm who hands you the results on live TV and I'll think about it.
In the GOOD JOB CASTING! department we can put another hash mark on the Big Brother Contestant Wall Crimanals of Shame now that Willie Hantz - out of the house less than a week - has been arrested for DUI. And further good job for apparently giving him stellar mental health assistance after he left the house in such violent circumstances. As much as I loathe Dr. Drew Pinksy these days, I would like to put in an appeal for his coming back to the show (for you late-comers to Big Brother, Dr. Drew was a regular on the nightly show giving viewers assessments of the mental (in)stability of house guests. If he's unavailable, perhaps Dr. Phil could be invited to join in. Either way - it is obvious that many house guests over the years could have used some mental health assitance either while in the house or most definitely after the fact.
Time for a quick assessment by yours truely of game play:
Ashley - oh sweety pie - you couldn't make a spark if you rubbed two brain cells together. And you are playing into productions hands to portraying you as a twit. The good news is your fellow house guests are only going to consider you a threat because you belong to Coach Janelle. And "America" may just take care of that for you.
Danielle - NICE JOB! If Staten Island and The Flipper are going to be stuipid enough to annoy Ian in the have not room by playing a verbal version of kissy face. And apparently annoying him to the point that he tells you about it, then you showed great initiative (that frankly I didn't think you had in you) in let that bomb drop on Frank and Boogie. You are another house guest who might just benefit from being released from a coach.
Ian - You devil you! Not only did you rid the house of Miss Staten Island (and a voice that would do Fran Drescher proud) but you used people stupid enough to talk in front of you to your advantage. And I call that Ian's advantage because he built an ally in Danielle and perhaps Dan. Combined with intelligent game play clouded by an air of dweeby innocence you are in good position. I call neutral on the potential of being released from Coach Boogie. I did love when Dr. WIll Kirby called Ian a junior version of Boogie.
Jenn - Who are you? No really. I'm classifying her as someone trying to pull the under the radar strategy. She's had built in alliances due to the coaching. Will she be able to hold her own without Coach Boogie calling the shots and holding things together? She did show intelligence by knowing that it was a bad idea to be a pawn because pawns go home.
Joe - Two words. SHUT UP! When the forced coaching teams are dismantled, Joe is a walking target. With the coaching teams, well, Joe is a walking target thank you Janelle. And before I move on - SHUT UP!
Shane - Okay you are on a roll with challneges right now. But Big Brother is about to pull the rug out from under you. You've even managed to stay in the game despite lousy coaching. But, dude, you've got one big, honking, target on your back. Game neutral on the coaches going ito the game mainly because he's had to do his own thinking, gamesmanship, strategy and winning to keep himself in. Also because coaches in, coaches out the target on Shane remains more or less the same size.
Frank - I like you - I don't know why, but I do. However Chilltown 2.0 needs to die. The question for me is are you going to stick to Boogie if the coaches go in, or are you going to make a big play and bounce your buddy or Janelle out of the house? Frank's game is going to depend on his ability to adapt and continue making plays that are good for his and not someone else's game.
Wil - I covet thy hair. You've work a pony tail better than Jedi Janie. You're fun. His game and logeviity if the coaches go in is going to rely on the connections he has across the house. And a need (as I see it) to bounce his coach out the door rather quickly.
Dan If the coaches go in, you are doomed. You've thrown your one player under the bus last week. The three other coaches all want you gone and don't want to play with you and I'm not certain you can rally the rookies into backing you. Someone needs to win HOH to stay in this at least the first week he is a player.
Britney Your coaching sucks. Your Diary Room entries are fantabulous. Perfect Jojo imitation. Too bad you can't coach your way out of a wet paper bag because your lousy coaching skills are why you are sitting there with one player left. Mis-handling Willie was your first mistanke. I take that back, it was your second. Your FIRST mistake was going all in with Janelle week one and co-ruling the roost with her. That wasn't a Willie HOH. Week one was a Janelle/Britney HOH with Willie as their puppet. You are not quite as doomed as Dan. Your one remaining player might stay loyal to you and you've managed to make contacts with other players in the game.
Boogie You seem to be coaching well. But how are you going to fare having to play the game? Seriously - after all-stars you're working Janelle and acting like you trust her to not stab you in the back? And do you really think that you have the ability to manipulate the rest of the houseguests into enough numbers to take anyone out? You are another that must win HOH week one in order to survive.
Janelle Time has not changed things - I still don't like Janelle. I'll like her less playing the game. I forecast her first move will be to win HOH and kick Boogie right out of the house after assuring him that he's safe. Unless she didn't learn a stinking thing from her last two times in the house. Janelle's coaching is sufficient. but her players really haven't been in power or in danger. Something I believe is so because she's floated the whole team from power to power in the house. So far we haven't heard the rumbles of 'floaters have to go' but it may begin if she or her team continue the bouncing around the house sucking up to whoever is in power. She might have the ability to rally the rookies. And we've all seen her track record for winning. I'm not going to be a bit surprised if she comes out of this with an HOH win before the other coaches. But frankly, I want all the coaches gone.
Until next time!