The night before Big Brother, the board is insane,
All the Jokers are posting, no trolls causing pain.
The bios were read from beginning to end,
As we all tried to guess, who was who’s special friend.

The Jokers were posting, not going to bed,
While visions of Julie Chen, danced in their heads.
Shapiro’d been spotted, out painting the town,
Reality-show-hopefuls, sucking up all around.

When a rumor arose that caused such a fuss
Big Brother was cancelled! We all started to cuss!
George W. was on tv, spouting the news
There’s ties to Al Queda and here are the clues.

“They live like a commune, like hippies again!”
“They tolerate gays, we all know that’s a sin!”
As he stood blathering on, came a wondrous sight
Six hefty strong men who were all dressed in white!

“Come along Mr. Bush, it’s time for your meds”
They ushered him off, tucked him safely in bed.
The press guy came on and stammered a while
“The show is not cancelled” he sheepishly smiled.

Now April! Now Ashlea!
Now Ivette! Now Janelle!
On Jennifer! On Maggie!
On Sarah! On Rachel!
To the door of the house!
Live inside of those walls!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"

The tension keeps building, with talk of Kaysar
Do you like Beau or Eric, is Michael a star?
Or will it be Howie or maybe it’s James
That ends up the winner of Big Brother games.

So the show is back on, and we all give a sigh
As we breathlessly wait for the time to arrive
When we hear a voice say, like pure dynamite
Watch Big Brother 6! It’s starting tonight.

And suddenly Julie is there on the screen
Her clothing all pressed, her breath fresh and clean
She says it so sweetly, like she’s under a hex
Stay tuned to this channel, Big Brother’s up next!