I don't know what it is. There's something fascinating about this show -- particularly this season -- and particularly these episodes. I'm talking about season 3, where Jill and Bethenny have had their falling out. This season from beginning to end gives us an inside view of a gut-wrenching fall out among two friends who were once close. We've all lost friends, and there's something really sad and yet exciting about this season. Picking sides, forming opinions, I love the no-strings-attached drama of it all. I was a huge Jill Zarin fan before this season, but I quickly took Bethenny's side along with Alex and Ramona.
At first it's Jill not speaking to Bethenny, but midway through the season it's the reverse. It opens with a message, "You need to get a hobby." At the reunion later on we learned about the behind the scenes drama which occurred before the cameras started to roll. It added clarity to the fight. Jill was jealous that Bethenny was getting her own show and told the other housewives not to film with her. This leads to Bethenny telling Jill to get a hobby, which is highly offensive to Jill. I can understand this, but Jill takes it way too far.
The whole season is centered around the fight; Jill rejects Bethenny's attempts to reconcile, Bethenny rejects Jill's attempts to reconcile. Finally Bethenny sends Alex on a mission to tell Jill they are done and she never wants to see her again. This gives Jill the chance to direct all her anger at Alex and they in turn become mortal enemies. With the Housewives franchise always centered around petty arguments and sometimes forced drama, maybe this season means the most to me because it is a truly sad and honest fight that tears apart a real friendship. There's no doubt that these women cared about each other and were friends outside of the show, and it's real raw emotions that have me watching this season over and over again.
The "Scary Island Trilogy" is comprised of these episodes: "Housewives Overboard," "Sun," "Sand and Psychosis," and Shunburn. Ramona's 17th wedding anniversary is coming up and she decides to renew her vows to mark the milestone. She invites all the girls to a bachelorette party in St. John's (Virgin Islands.) Both Jill and LuAnn decline, leaving Ramona, Sonja, Bethenny, Alex, and Kelly going on the amazing vacation.
It opens with everyone on a luxurious yacht; Kelly immediately becomes insane. She refuses to acknowledge that Bethenny is in fact a chef and not a cook. I've never been a Kelly fan -- can't imagine anyone ever was -- but I do give her credit for constantly dropping bombs on someone like Bethenny. She's not one to be messed with but Kelly has no problem dropping little comments designed to piss her off.
After the chef debacle, Kelly calls Bethenny a "Ho Bag" because she admitted to having a one night stand in her day. Poor Sonja is constantly the last one standing with Kelly as everyone escapes her craziness.
As the trip goes on, Kelly descends further into insanity. When the girls arrive at their destination, a beautiful ginormous mansion where they can relax, Bethenny gives out some Skinny Girl swag which sends Kelly into a downward spiral. She is so upset and offended by her tote bag that she calls Jill and tells her that she thinks Bethenny may stab her.
The following morning, we find Ramona instructing the staff not to put salt in her oatmeal, and learn Kelly has a new coping method; instructing the girls to write their feelings instead of verbally expressing them. Everyone agrees they'd rather tell Kelly to her face and they all completely dismiss this subtle cry for help.
The place is gorgeous and, as Alex says, they have gone from "the lap of luxury to the arms of luxury." Kelly takes the girls on a photo shoot at the beach. It's a lot of fun with both Ramona and Sonja enjoying having their picture taken in their teeny bikinis, and Ramona pictures Mario making love to her while posing. When it's Alex's turn, the fun outing turns awkward. Alex is so uncomfortable and comes across completely psychotic. I generally like Alex and don't want to make fun of her, but she makes weird psychotic "O" face mouth poses that are hard to look at. Instead of just taking a few shots and putting her out of her misery, Kelly works her pretty hard, trying to get that perfect picture. It's painful to watch, and it only gets worse from there.
The Dinner. Wow. This is where the mental breakdown finally comes to a head. Bethenny makes dinner for all the ladies, and as they wait outside with their appetizers, Kelly gets a phone call from her daughter. Ramona asks her to leave the room while she is on her phone. Kelly loses it and tells Ramona to "Lay Off", which Ramona repeats in shock as if she's never been spoken to like that before. Although I don't see the big deal in telling a friend to lay off or shut up once in a while (I've been told to shut up plenty of times, I'm sure,) it was really awkward and unnecessary -- as is everything Kelly does.
Kelly declares that while she's talking to one of her children, she will murder someone if she has to. Ramona is relaying this to everyone as Kelly walks back in and overhears her, tells her off a little, and quickly moves on to the dinner table. More drama as Kelly doesn't want to sit across from Bethenny, who walks in just in time to hear. She informs Kelly she doesn't have to sit wherever she doesn't want to sit, doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do, and doesn't have to be there if she doesn't want to be there. I think what Bethenny means is, "Kelly, we're all so sick of you no one cares anymore and I wish you weren't here anyway!"
Sonja switches seats with Kelly as the crab cakes come out. Kelly doesn't want her crab cake, doesn't like Bethenny's food except for her salad dressing, so Sonja eats her crab cake to cover it up. When the steaks are served, Kelly of course gets a string in hers and it has to be re-cooked. As the women begin to eat, Ramona decides it's a good time to apologize to Bethenny for the things she said on the Brooklyn Bridge about Bethenny harming her relationship with Jason.
Now Kelly enters another dimension, beginning to laugh hysterically and thinking Ramona and Bethenny might start making out with tongues. Everyone except for Sonja leaves the table to make fun of Kelly and finally confirm what Bethenny has been saying all along, that Kelly is insane. Do you think Kelly is insane, irrational and mentally unstable?
When Ramona, Bethenny, and Alex return to the table, the topics include Alex wearing kabuki make up when she delivered the message to Jill, that she channels the devil, and that Bethenny has made fun of Kelly's good friend Gwyneth Paltrow. Bethenny finally screams at her to "GO TO SLEEP!" Sonja manages to inform everyone not to yell at Kelly; she's crazy and needs their help. They all calm down and tell Kelly they are there for her and aren't trying to hurt her. Kelly says "Thank you so much" and the fight is over.
The next morning there is a note telling them that Kelly has left to be with her daughters and thanking everyone for the trip. We find out later at the reunion that Kelly was asked to leave by producers and everyone was aware of this; ergo the note was just for the viewers' sake.
Sometimes I hate to discover these things; I'd rather believe it happened how I wanted it to happen. But alas, I suppose the producers do have a hand in the show. Of course this is a controversial topic, and I'd love to know what you think, let us know HERE .
The ladies can finally relax and get pedicures: that is until they hear it: the undeniable loud horn "HIIIIIIIIIIIIII" "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII:" "RAMONA". It' JILL! Jill and Bobby have arrived to surprise everyone. They're under attack. Ramona is so shocked: "Why is she here? In all sincerity Jill, why are you here?"
In tears, Alex is shaking, breaking out in hives. Bethenny closes her eyes and goes to her happy place. Ramona doesn't ask Jill to leave, but essentially kicks her to the curb. This is the ultimate rejection, and all the girls confirm that Jill did it to herself. "She wants to get it, but she doesn't get it," says Ramona - summing up Jill Zarin perfectly. Jill is in shock, humiliated, and her plan blows up in her face. Whether her intentions were pure or just selfish, she admits she wanted to make a splash and make up with Bethenny of course. I really do feel for her here and see both sides. Yes, she went about everything the wrong way, as always, but I think Jill is generally a good person and has good intentions. The ladies recover, have a nice dinner, and give each other sex toys to end the trip on a high note.
That sums up the "Scary Island Trilogy", some of the best episodes the Housewives franchise has given us. After that season, Bethenny left; Jill, Alex, and Kelly were inevitably fired, and we were introduced to some new fabulous housewives to share psychotic vacations with. The next season the ladies travelled to Morocco; this year it's St. Barths, both fantastic trips with lots of arguing and venom.
Nothing will ever compare to magical Scary Island, and the mortal enemies that battled there.
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