Tuesday night, Oct. 9: Oh em gee! I’m thinking about what I’ll throw together this week after writing this one. A bit of stressing out because at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow I’m scheduled for surgery, so by 7 p.m. I’ll be watching Survivor in a half-awake, painkiller state-of-mind.

I’m going to go ahead and call it now. Russell Swan will be voted out this week. Granted, you’re going to have to trust me that I’m typing Russ’s name in the night before and not editing it in after the show. On the other hand, Matsing once again losing and Russell leaving is a no-brainer.

Wednesday night, Oct. 10: Surgery went OK, I’m in some pain and feeling a bit brain-addled, but I‘m going to Skupin through and put some words together and hope they make sense.

I was correct!! Russell was indeed sent packing and Malcolm Freberg and Denise Stapley now have their very own tribe. I’ll even go on record and say that both of them will make it to the merge of ten castaways. Matsing is still alive! Barely.

Kalabaw Tribe

Carter Williams speaks! It looks like he could be joining up with Jeff Kent and Jonathan Penner in their four-fingered non-manly handshake alliance. It could be a good move for him, as the track coach had some trouble maneuvering over the mini-hurdles balancing the rice bowls in the Immunity Challenge.

Meanwhile, Dana Lambert, Sarah Dawson and the to-date elusive Katie Hanson seem to realize they might have to add to their shrinking alliance and find other females. Girls, please remember in this game you can’t kidnap other players but you must wait until there is something called a merge. Or, why not find out what happened to your buddy Carter, who has until now seemingly been playing with you guys?

Congrats to Kalabaw (yellow team) for coming in second and wisely choosing a tarp, especially since production in The Philippines has been inundated with rainy weather.

Tandang Tribe

Tandang will be grilling steaks, eating veggies with spices and using new utensils this week after a big win at the Immunity Challenge. Could someone tell me when the rules changed and the same people could sit out more than one challenge in a row? Tandang and Kalabaw went with all guys; a more evened-out playing field very possibly could have given Matsing at least a second place finish. Again, Malcolm and Denise showed that they’re a two-person comp-beast alliance.

Artis Silvester: I hope you’re happy now that your team placed first in the Immunity Challenge. I was watching one of those clips that we don’t see on the show (you need to go to the CBS Survivor site and check them out) and here’s Artis complaining that his team cheered about placing second in a challenge. Oh em gee! I’m sure Malcolm Freberg and Matsing would have happily changed places with you and your team.

It’s good to see Lisa Whelchel looking more positive, but I would like to check out her and some of the other females that sat out the Immunity Challenge tonight (as well as last week!) join in a challenge. Let’s see what they can do!

Michael Skupin: I’m hanging in there. And, so are you! No injuries tonight. I’ll take an extra Lortab in honor of your success.

RC Saint-Amour: I know it’s too late, but again I’m shrieking, “Watch your back!” I saw a clip where you said you’re running Tandang…that you’re the “top dog.” I grimaced.

Abi-Maria Gomes: You’re kinda mean. Or, that’s the character you’re playing on Survivor. I saw the other night when you tweeted a picture of the cute little girl on The Amazing Race who was handing out the next clue. You commented: “Now that makes me melt. Adorable !!!!” And, for a moment I thought maybe you weren’t so mean, but I’m going to need some more convincing.

This week I’m handing out a special award to Pete Yurkowski. A big ole 5-star Dirty Rat Award. You know why. Everyone who watched knows why. And, if you haven’t yet watched Survivor this week, watch it and you’ll also know. Pete, you dirty rat, you!

Finally, it goes without saying--Russell Swan also should get a special mention for his “I’m a perfect creature” oratory tirade following the Immunity Challenge. But the fact that he was booted off the island saves me from wasting any more time on him.

The previews for next week look like we’ve got an injured Survivor. Hopefully, someone doesn’t have to leave the game that way, but if so, hey Malcolm, that gets you a bit closer to a merge.

If you Joker’s Updates people can possibly tear yourself away from watching Big Brother 14 re-feeds, post here and let me know what you think of Survivor this year. I’m enjoying it and you could be too.