Welcome to Aruba—All of You

The show opens with some gorgeous shots of Aruba (as I sit in Chicago where the weather is in the mid-40's despite the fact it's May.).....We see each of the three women (Sarah B, Krisily, and Sarah W) as they are driven (separately) to the hotel, each woman in turn telling the camera how great it will be to be alone with Charlie in Aruba.....I guess the fact that the women are sharing their van with a camera crew diverts their attention from the fact that there is a procession of identical black vans headed toward the hotel....As the women get out of the vans and spot each other, they are not pleased. However, host Chris Harrison appears before any physical violence can break out, and, in a rare understatement says, "I know you're all surprised to see me and each other, so let me explain. For the first time, all three overnight dates will be at the same resort. In fact, the rose ceremony will be here in Aruba, as well.".....Chris tells the women go get settled in their rooms (before they start throwing potted palms at each other), and that Charlie will be calling.

Sarah B has been designated "America's Sweetheart" for this season of The Bachelor, but tonight, we get a few peeks at her more human side. As she settles down on the veranda of her room, Sarah B tells the camera, "What the h*ll? Like, I'm supposed to be here with Charlie, not everyone else. So what's going on? I have to sit around in my room and wait on Charlie to call to tell me when he's ready for his date with me, and I do not like that."...Personally, I'd feel the same way.....But, nothing can dampen Krisily's excitement about being in Aruba, not even presence of "the two Sarahs."

Sarah W's Date—Dirty Feet and No Underwear

Sarah W gets the first phone call from Charlie....She walks out of the hotel wearing a bikini with boy shorts and a twist top, and climbs in the back of an open jeep to meet Charlie for an ATV ride.....As she and Charlie put on helmets, Charlie tells the camera, "The last couple times I've seen Sarah W, she starts to get a little nervous, a little choked up, always talking about (how) the next time, she won't be nervous. I'm hoping riding the ATVs breaks the ice, and we can connect like we did on our first date."....Sarah and Charlie ride the ATVs to a picnic spot that's been set up next to the beach.....It's at this point that I notice that Charlie's khaki green shorts match Sarah W's khaki green bikini, and hope that's it's a coincidence, and not the unfortunate tendency of many couples to dress alike on tropical vacations......Sarah and Charlie go for a swim and share a long kiss, then lie on the blanket and talk. The two of them seem very relaxed together. At one point, Sarah says to Charlie, "You're seeing me in my natural element. Like, seriously, this is me normal. And everyone always likes me, too. So, I don't know, whatever about that whole thing."

All of a sudden, there is a loud bus horn, and a wildly colored bus pulls up. It's the Kukoo Kunuku bus, a party bus that takes visitors on bar hopping trips at night. (Charlie fulfills his product placement requirements very well by telling us the name of the bus at least three times.) Even though it's daytime, and there are only the two of them, Charlie and Sarah get in the Kukoo Kunuku spirit by donning funny hats and playing maracas. Charlie obviously loves goofing for the cameras, so he's in his element here......I enjoyed watching Charlie until he showed the camera his filthy feet. I thought I was the only one who was grossed out by this, but several other Joker's folks independently commented on the same thing. Personally, I prefer a guy who's fresh out of the shower and......never mind. Back to business.

After the bus ride, we get a short glimpse of Krisily back at the hotel, sitting in the pool, looking a little lonely. (Yeah right. As if each of the women doesn't have a handler with her at all times.)....Krisily says in a voiceover, "Charlie is on one of his other dates right now, and it stinks to know that he's on the island with someone else, but eventually it'll be my turn. I'm definitely a little bit of a jealous girlfriend, especially in this situation."

In our next scene of Sarah and Charlie, it's evening, and Sarah has changed into a crossover top and pants, and Charlie has changed into a yellow shirt and khaki shorts (and presumably, washed his feet.)...They walk up to a table set up near the beach, surrounded by torches—a very romantic setting....Charlie says in a voiceover, "Sarah W got the first rose, so obviously there's something about her. I was attracted to her from day one, and that hasn't changed. I don't think we really stress about the serious stuff, because as long as we're having fun, we'll figure out the rest."....Charlie says to Sarah, "I've had a great time tonight. It's like we've been dating for a long time, because there's not much to talk about, you know?" Sarah replies, "I guess at this point, I'm definitely emotionally invested in you, and I just hope that I don't end up being, like, sad in the end.".....Charlie tells Sarah, "There are three great girls here--you being one of them. I had tough decisions last time, and I have tough decisions this time. Maybe the one thing that bothers me about this is that there are no questions. We've connected from the beginning, easily." Sarah replies, "The reality is that on two or three dates, like, if we would already have questions and problems, that would be a problem. I don't think we're there yet, but we're in our grace period, you know what I mean? And I think that's completely normal."....Charlie tells the camera, "I have no problem communicating with Sarah W. And really not that many questions. All I want to do is have fun, and so does she. And that's what makes us a great match."

So we don't forget that the other women are at the same hotel, next we hear Krisily saying that she "decided" to talk a walk on the beach because there is no one out at night and she could think about things.....Yeah sure. "No one" but the camera crew. And, of course, Krisily "just happens" to stumble on Charlie and Sarah W having dinner.....Krisily briefly peeks over at Charlie and Sarah W, then leaves, and tells the camera, "When I saw Sarah W and Charlie together, it's definitely hard, but I have to hope that Charlie's a good man and will choose the right one in the long run."

After dinner, Charlie says to Sarah W,"I can't believe we were in the ocean today and I didn't think of having a swim-off." Sarah is surprised, too, and says, "I'm, like, the swimmer."....So Charlie suggests a swim in the ocean right then. Sarah isn't sure at first, but she unwraps her top, which turns out to be like a long wrap, and takes off her pants, and jumps in the ocean with Charlie as she says, "I wish I would have worn underwear."....After that line, it's not surprising that Charlie is no longer interested in swimming, but instead, he and Sarah engage in some serious "tonsil hockey." And, maybe it's my dirty mind, but Charlie's arms and hands are pretty active while they kiss, and I don't think it's because Charlie is treading water.....We hear a voiceover from Sarah W saying, "Charlie and I have always had a thing right from day one. And I really wanted to just let Charlie know how I felt about him."

And, that's it. Normally on The Bachelor, unless the bachelorette specifically says she doesn't want to go to the "fantasy suite," we get a least a token romantic scene of the bachelor and with each bachelorette in the fantasy suite. We know from comments from past bachelorettes that, sometimes, after the "romantic" scene is filmed, the two people just go back to their own rooms alone.....So why was there no scene of Sarah W in Charlie's suite? Did something bad happen?....At the end of the episode, Charlie alludes to some "awkward moments" with Sarah, but we are never shown those moments....Hmmm, I wonder what happened after the "swimming"?

Sarah B's Date—Sailing and Kissing, But Not All Night

Charlie's next date is with Sarah B, and he calls her room to invite her to go sailing....As Charlie meets Sarah on the beach, he says in a voiceover, "I like Sarah B. I had a great time meeting her family. And I think we're really starting to get along. But as far as kissing goes, we have not done it yet. And I don't mind taking things slow. I respect that. And I know that she knows I'm kissing other girls. But now we're in Aruba. People kiss in Aruba.".....Charlie and Sarah B take a zodiac out to a large, beautiful sailboat anchored out in the harbor....As they relax on the boat, Sarah talks about her broken engagement, "I've already been engaged and called it off. The best decision I ever made." Charlie replies, "It's something that you definitely don't take lightly. I get that, and I don't think anyone's trying to get hurt. But, if you're sitting there trying not to get hurt, then you're not trying."...Then, Charlie and Sarah play for awhile, taking turns jumping out into the water on a sort of trapeze at the end of a long rope.

Afterwards, Charlie and Sarah B cuddle among the ropes at the bow of the sailboat and Charlie finally gets a kiss. He says to her, "I've been dying to kiss you--dying.," and he does. Charlie says in a voiceover, "I've been trying to kiss Sarah forever, and here I am at the perfect time. So, I just had to beg. I'm not above begging." Charlie and Sarah B share tender, but short, kisses (no tonsil hockey here). Sarah kids Charlie, "I'm making you work for it," and Charlie kids back, "I'm doing backflips."

Back on land, Krisily is eating lunch at a table by the beach when Sarah W "happens" by. After asking Krisily how her day has been, Sarah W plunges in and says, "At this point, I'm thinking, like, I just want everything to be cool between us. And I'm cool with you as long as you don't spend any time with Charlie talking about me." Krisily replies, "It's very difficult for me to be cool with someone that the last time I saw them called me a mean, terrible, horrible, drama queen, bitch--whatever else you went into."....At this point, we're shown a flashback of Sarah W's comments to Krisily in the beauty salon....Krisily goes on, "It's not about you and I getting along. It's about Charlie. And I don't think that we even need to worry about anything else." Sarah says to Krisily, "I agree," but says to the camera, "I listened to what Krisily had to say. She is not at the point in her life where she's mature enough to really even know what she's talking about or where it's coming from or why she's angry. If Krisily gets a rose at the next rose ceremony, I don't know what I'm gonna do. But I really don't think that's gonna happen."...Sarah W ends the conversation with, "I'm glad that we got to talk about this and handle it," and leaves. Krisily giggles, and goes on eating her salad.

After changing clothes, Charlie and Sarah B sit down for dinner at a romantic table for two by the pool....Sarah B's nose is a little pink and sunburned from her day on the boat. As usual, Sarah B's pink nose makes her look even cuter (as opposed to moi, who looks more like Ronald McDonald after a day in the sun.).....Charlie is obviously smitten and says to Sarah, "I really do like you. And I could see us growing."....Then Charlie says that location is one thing they'd have to work out. Sarah assures Charlie that her job is flexible and she could move anywhere. She says, "I think that the biggest issue is finding the connection. If I'm supposed to be with you, then I'll do what I have to do. I'm not locked down."...Sarah B tells the camera, "I think that (Charlie) has been able to break down some of those walls that I had and that I held so tight to me."

Charlie then invites Sarah back to his room, saying, "We haven't had a lot of time to be alone. And I don't want this night to end." (I was thrilled that the Bachelor producers finally ditched the lame written invitation to spend the night in the "fantasy suite."....To my surprise, Sarah accepts Charlie's invitation....Charlie shows Sarah his suite, which is beautiful. They go out to the huge balcony, and Sarah says to the camera, "I definitely think that I'm falling in love with Charlie. He really is looking for someone that he could possibly spend the rest of his life with. And that means so much to me, because I'm here for the exact same reason."....Charlie and Sarah sit on a couch out on the balcony, and Charlie tells Sarah that he had been worried that he wasn't showing Sarah that he liked her, because he didn't think it was the right time to fool around.....Charlie and Sarah share some more kisses (although again, not the deep kisses he gave Sarah W—or at least, not that we were shown.).....Sarah then admits to Charlie that she doesn't think she could stay through the night with him....Charlie assures her that there's no point in rushing because he's had a great time, and he doesn't want to blow what they've gotten already....As Charlie says good-night to Sarah at his door, he has a smitten look on his face, but in a voiceover, he tells the camera, "Sarah B knows I like her, but she's definitely challenging me and still holding off a little bit. I definitely have reservations if she's into me or not, because we still haven't had enough time together, and we may be running out of time, because I've only got two roses to give."

Krisily's Date—I Feel Like Cinderella

Finally, it's Krisily's turn, and Charlie calls to invite her for a day on a private island...Charlie says in a voiceover, "I definitely have a crush on Sarah B, and there's a lot of attraction between Sarah W and I, so I'm trying to figure out what Krisily and I have that the other two don't....Charlie and Krisily greet each other, and Krisily is so excited she can barely contain herself....They sit down on lounge chairs and have drinks, and Krisily tells Charlie, "I'm like a little kid. I'm in awe of all of this. It's so beautiful. Mom and dad don't have a clue where I am. They're gonna be completely amazed. We don't travel a lot. I've never had a passport until this year. And (when I heard I was leaving the country), I just kind of sat there with tears in my eyes."

Charlie asks Krisily if she wants to try snorkeling. (Actually, it's snuba—they wear snorkel masks, but breathe through a tube connected to a line.) And, although the preview press release suggested that this was a problem for claustrophobic Krisily, we are never shown scenes of Krisily having any problems. From what we see, Krisily and Charlie have a lot of fun playing under the water.....Afterwards, Charlie and Krisily play and kiss as they rinse off in the outdoor showers.

Since we're not allowed to forget Sarah W for five minutes, we then see a brief scene of Sarah W swimming, and a voiceover where she tells the camera, "I know Charlie's probably on a date with someone else right now, but I've just been chillin' like a villain at the beach. He's gonna have the image of me in his head while he's out on every other date. I'm just really not that worried about it."

At the end of their day, Charlie and Krisily take a catamaran back to the hotel for dinner.....Krisily is a little scared at first when Charlie suggests lying in the ropes at the bow of the boat, but she tries it anyway.....On this date, we see a whole new side of Krisily that, I, at least, found very endearing. For Krisily, every new experience is fun and exciting....She tells Charlie that she has never in her life just sat and watched a sunset...Charlie is surprised to hear this (and so am I. Doesn't Krisily live near the water?) Krisily kiddingly pronounces the sunset "Very romantic" in her best imitation of her Nana's accent.....Charlie tells the camera, "I'm glad that I'm here to give Krisily all these great things that she hasn't done before--her first sunset, her first scuba. You could see that Krisily was having the time of her life.".....Charlie tells Krisily that he's glad she's sharing the sunset with him, and says that they get good sunsets in Montauk, too.

After changing, Charlie and Krisily meet for dinner at a pavilion out in the water...Charlie confesses to the camera that he is having mixed feelings. "There's a definite possibility that Krisily and I could end up together. Maybe that's what scares me, is that I'm still going out with two other girls, and I'm trying to figure out which one's right for me, and she's already fully decided that I'm right for her, and that's terrifying."....Krisily confesses to Charlie, "It's very difficult for me seeing guys that are able to do things that I've never been able to do, and sometimes I feel like they're out of my league. And, when I first met you, I very much felt that way. I was scared to bring you home, because it's like I have the little house and the little family." Charlie responds, "Out of my league? No. This isn't an average day for me. It's absurd to think that this is an average day for me and every day would be like this. Maybe you're out of my league. I'm not perfect. And you are. Krisily is touched, and goes on, "I'm part of my environment, and think I came out really well. But I got great opportunities. I got to meet an awesome guy like you, and I'd do it all over again for that. I feel like a princess. It's like a Cinderella story for me."....Charlie is obviously very relaxed at this point, because his voice is noticeably slurred when he asks Krisily if she'd like to come back to his room.

At the hotel, Sarah W is out for a walk with her camera crew when Sarah B (and her camera crew) spots her from her balcony. Sarah B invites Sarah W up for a drink....The two of them chat a bit about how crazy it is that all three dates ended up being in the same place, then Sarah W asks Sarah B how her date went...Sarah B says the date was amazing, just perfect, and that she and Charlie shared their first kiss...Sarah B tells the camera, "I feel so confident with what I have with (Charlie) that I'm not worried. I'll tell (Sarah W) all the juicy details."....The two Sarahs speculate about what Krisily and Charlie are doing....Sarah B says that maybe they went snorkeling or scuba diving, and Sarah W replies, "No way. Krisily would never go scuba diving" Sarah B agrees, "She would never do that, " and Sarah W goes on, "Sh*t no, dude. She's claustrophobic."....Then Sarah B asks Sarah W if she's seen Krisily, and Sarah W describes how she ran in to Krisily the day before, "(I said to Krisily), 'Let's let bygones be bygones. And (Krisily) responded with some huge explanation, and took, like, 10 minutes of saying all this sh*t about me that she doesn't like me and why and whatever. She was not open to being friends with me. She's like, 'I don't like you. I never will.'"

Back with Charlie and Krisily, Charlie tells the camera, "Krisily's and my date couldn't be more romantic. And with that comes the feelings of 'Could I love Krisily?' And there's definitely feelings that say 'Yes.'"....Charlie (still slurring) says to Krisily, "Today was an awesome day. You've got a big sensitive side that I knew you had, but it's nice to see it.".....Krisily says to Charlie, "I would probably love nothing more than to wake up next to you tomorrow morning. There's certain things that are extremely important in a relationship, (and) being intimate with one another is important. If anything does happen--was to happen--I'd be heartbroken if I never saw you again after that. Do you know what I mean?"....Charlie, sozzled as he is, gets it, and replies, "First of all, I do want you to spend the night. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm not here to play with your emotions, and I'm not here to play with mine. With that said, I would like you to spend the night, and the rest of this stuff we can figure out afterwards.".....I don't know about you, but when I heard Charlie say this, I saw it as a tacit agreement to give Krisily a rose...Krisily says in a voiceover, (which appeared to have been filmed "the morning after" since her makeup had worn off), "My feelings for Charlie get stronger every time I'm with him. There's not a doubt in my head that I'm falling in love with him. I just feel lucky to have been able to meet someone like him, 'cause I didn't think that they really existed.".....The scene ends with Krisily and Charlie getting up from the couch, and Charlie closing the balcony door behind them.....Did Krisily take her Nana's advice? It looks as if she did. And, as we'll see later, apparently it worked.

The Most Tropical Rose Ceremony Ever

This episode, Chris Harrison got his payback for all the times he's had to wear ugly clothes and repeat bad lines. Since he was in Aruba to greet the women when they arrived, that means he's had three days in Aruba before the rose ceremony with no hosting responsibilities......And, for once, Charlie has made up his mind about who will get roses before the rose ceremony. Charlie tells the camera, "Aruba couldn't have clued me in more on these girls and what they're really all about. This time, I got my head screwed on straight, and I can make a confident decision.".....On a patio by the beach, Chris greets each of the women individually, and walks them to their place. I thought it was interesting that Chris called Sarah W "Dubya." Not knowing how Chris feels about the current President, I don't know if this was a compliment or a cut....After Charlie walks up, Chris gives each of the women a chance to make a last comment to Charlie. All the women's remarks are pretty predictable, and boil down to, "I had a great time with you, and I look forward to meeting your family.".....Then Charlie starts to hand out roses, and this time he doesn't look stressed or upset at all.

The first name Charlie calls is "Sarah." To me, it looked like Charlie was looking right at Sarah B when he said this, but the two women are confused, and Sarah W actually starts to take a step forward when Charlie clarifies, "Sarah B." Sarah W is very surprised, but she keeps trying to smile. Then, after what seems like forever, Charlie says, "Krisily.".....This time, Sarah B really looks surprised, and tries not to look hurt.....Charlie walks Sarah W over to a bench and they sit down. Sarah W is fighting back tears as she asks Charlie, "Why?" Charlie replies, "I had a great time with you--no question about it. I know we had a great start. But, um... there's times that we get along, like, no sweat. And then there's other times that there's awkward moments. And, I think, still, that we have awkward moments that we haven't figured out. I had to make a decision today, and that's pretty much why I, um, chose the other girls....Sarah tries to smile, and doesn't say much to Charlie beyond, "Well, I guess that answers why. So, I guess that's it." Charlie hugs her and she wishes him luck....In a voiceover, Charlie explains his decision a little more, "I gave (Sarah W) time and time again to make this connection that I was trying to make, and maybe I wanted it too much, but it didn't happen."

Did you see that coming? As I discussed last week, Sarah W gets on my nerves, so I was hoping Charlie would send her home this week. But, on the fantasy dates, editing is everything, so I wasn't sure who Charlie would choose...Charlie alluded to awkward moments with Sarah W, but we never saw them. If anything, I thought there were a few awkward moments between Charlie and Krisily.....And, I wasn't sure if Charlie would feel that Sarah B was holding back too much emotionally. Charlie is clearly smitten with Sarah B, but the kisses we saw between them were short, "smacking" kisses, and it wasn't completely clear whether the two of them had the chemistry that Charlie had with Sarah W and Krisily.

Lots of commenters were ecstatic that Sarah W was sent home. Every season of The Bachelor has its designated b*tch, and Sarah W was certainly edited that way. I'm sure that Sarah W will say that she was edited unfairly, and perhaps she was, but, the editors can't include remarks that a person didn't say. So, I will let Sarah W speak for herself. (Note: Normally when I give verbatim comments, I edit out a lot of the extraneous words to make them easier to read, but, this time, I'm giving you pretty close to a verbatim transcription.)

In a voiceover as she leaves, Sarah W says, "Charlie just wasted two roses. I mean, what was he thinking? I mean, I'm a way better catch than either of them--no doubt about it. Charlie's made a huge mistake. It just sickens me."....Then, driving away, Sarah tearfully tells the camera, "I'm gonna miss Charlie. You know, to spend, like, that much time, like, thinking about someone, and, like, thinking about, like, how it would be and, like...But, like, I'm such a sweet girl, and, like, I'm such a good catch. And, like, people think, like, I'm surfacey, or whatever, but I think when it comes down to it, just, like, the truth is that, that like yeah, you know, people are mean to me, you know, sometimes because of the way I look, you know? I mean, it sounds, like, so stupid, but, like, people hate me because I'm beautiful, you know, like. And, like, that is, it sounds so horrible, but, like, that is, like, a real thing, you know? And it's...and it's a...and it's a curse as much as it is a blessing to be pretty. I mean, like, no matter what, like, there is a huge, like, prejudice and racist, and when it comes down to it, like, that's why, you know, this didn't work out. Just because, like, if I would have been a little uglier and a little less noticeable. It's just, you know, really sad that, you know, that's not ever gonna happen. So, it sucks."

For the record, I counted 22 "likes" and 9 "you knows," but don't hold me to it....In the end, as much as Sarah W bugs me, and even though she said some hateful and somewhat delusional things (such as beauty being a racial issue), I feel bad for Sarah W. I don't feel bad because Charlie didn't choose Sarah W—that was a smart decision on his part. I feel bad because Sarah W just doesn't get it—she doesn't understand why people don't like her. It has nothing to do with her being attractive, it has to do with how she treats people. Maybe seeing herself on TV will help.

Next Week on The Bachelor

Note: The following preview is taken both from the segment at the end of this week's episode and press releases from ABC.

Next week (May 9) is the traditional "Women Tell All" special. Normally I dislike the "Women Tell All" episode because I'm ready to get on to the finale, and the women don't tell us very much.....However, this time around, only 12 of the women will return for the special. Is this yet another Bachelor budget cut? Whatever the reason, it should make for a better show, because normally, most of the women never get to say anything....And, because of the other womens' strong feelings about Sarah W, the confrontation between them could be good TV. Tacky, but good.....Also, one of the press releases promises that the other women will dare Sarah W to "reveal her scandalous secret" and that Sarah W will get to tell her side of what she said to Sarah B about "the final four."

The finale is the following week (May 16) and this time it's down to two hours. (The three-hour finales of previous seasons were just too long.)...On the finale episode, Krisily and Sarah B will travel to Montauk to meet Charlie's family and friends....One preview clip shows a friend of Charlie's saying, "That one is a handful. She's got a control issue." Based on what the friend is wearing, he makes the comment during Sarah B's visit, but, for all we know, he could also have been talking about Krisily....Charlie continued to date both Krisily and Sarah B after filming ended and will make "the biggest decision of his life" on the live portion of the finale.....This could be the best finale yet. (You'd think that after all these seasons of The Bachelor I'd learn to keep my expectations in check, because, inevitably, the show never lives up to its hype. Oh well.)

Over the credits this week, we see a fairly lame segment of Sarah B and Charlie jumping into the water from the sailboat.

Spoilers and Speculation

There weren't any earthshaking spoilers this week, other than an appearance by Charlie's brother Jerry on Oprah, where he said that Charlie is seriously in love......Despite this, and even if Charlie picks one of the women for the short term, I'm not sure about his long-term prospects with either woman.....I was glad that Krisily brought up the cultural and economic differences in their upbringing. This isn't necessarily a dealbreaker, but let's face it, private schools and rodeo camp are worlds away from Krisily's upbringing....As for Sarah B, I think one important issue will be whether Charlie is really ready to settle down and give up his "party boy" ways. And, even if he is ready, will Sarah B prove to be too conservative for him?....In the end, I just don't know if Charlie won't yearn for a more "glamorous" woman, like his brother Jerry's girlfriend, Rebecca Romijn.

Until next week!