"Throwing a challenge is the STOOPIDEST thing the Drake could ever do." - Rupert Boneham

Ah, what prophetic words. Because as Morgan was thinking along these lines, as Burton (who so ironically got voted out on a challenge he advocated throwing) sat out the plank-walking challenge, man could I see the writing on the wall.

Throwing a challenge in the team portion of Survivor is not absolutely utterly out of the question. Think of how Survivor: Marquesas might have unfolded if the Robfather had been booted episode six - Rotu would still have been up 6-4 on Maraamu at the merge, and they would have got a scheming liar out of the way. But doing so with only a three tribe member advantage is foolish. Suicidal even. And with episode five, we saw exactly why.

Drake could have EASILY won that episode four immunity if they had been trying, had put their best members in. Really, who was going to knock down Rupert? And THEN - being four players up, and two evictions before the merge - THAT was the time to say "Ok...let's maybe lighten the load here. Even if we lose the next two, we're still up 6-4, assuming a traditional merge (and if there are any seasoned Survivor types on the show, they should know Burnett isn't likely to do that awful fake merge thing again) So we're safe doing that."

But no...utter stupidity ensues. The ragtag, clueless at survival Morgan tribe wins one Immunity, Rupert wins a reward for them, they squeak out a second Immunity, and now...they have the momentum! Morgan!!! You know, the tribe that sucked through three plus episodes??? Mark my words - someone from that tribe is going to win this game.

As for tonight, it should be interesting to see how both tribes deal with Tropical Storm Claudette, which is supposed to blow their way this episode. Certainly Morgan is going to be counting its blessings that Rupert convinced them to move their shelter to higher ground - even a minimal storm surge would sweep that thing right off the beach!

With five episodes gone, I can say so far it's been a lackluster season, with none of the personalities really standing out save for (cue the sea shanty music!) Rupert. Oh and I guess Jon but then again fingernails-on-a-blackboard annoyance with a contestant does not add up to entertainment in my mind. Both he and Ryan Shoulders seem to aspire to a Rob Cesternino-like game (the jokester-strategist) which to me is the height of flattery for the Robasu. Well...nice try guys, but to paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen - I laughed with Rob Cesternino. I knew Rob Cesternino. Rob Cesternino was one of the all-time great Survivors. Johnny Fairplay, you're no Rob Cesternino.

Otherwise, aside from digging on Christa (Survivor Hottie of the season for me!) I think the one to watch may be Osten. No really.

Probst talked about "The Greatest Lie Ever Told" before this edition started, and I'm just about completely convinced it's Osten playing up his physical weakness. It seems to get mentioned at some point in every episode - last week Rupert was shown talking about Osten's laziness for instance. Bearing in mind that Burnett doesn't waste a SECOND in his editing, I keep thinking his hammering home of this point must be there for a reason. And if Osten is in fact doing this...then he's brilliant! The pantheon of Survivor alumni is riddled with strong players who were targets come the merge - Alicia, Clarence, Ken, Dave. It's getting almost cliché now. Ken even said in interviews that he tried as much as he could to play down his physical prowess just for this reason. So could Osten be doing the same thing, only much more convincingly? To me, I can't think of anything else worthy of such a weighty title as "The Greatest Lie Ever Told."

But make no mistake about it - like all of America, I am a card carrying member of the Rupert Boneham fan club armada. Is it any wonder this guy is the most popular contestant in the show's history? He's got survival skills, people skills, and he KILLS in the challenges. Plus he can sew. And he wears a skirt...LIKE A MAN! And he takes care of sick snakes (apparently he owns one in real life). He even fits with the pirate theme physically speaking. In other words, come merge time I hope everyone realizes he will have a big ol' target on his back. He is saving this show entertainment-wise from oblivion but really - if you were in this game would YOU want to compete against him in individual competitions? No freaking way. So he's gotta go...it might happen tonight, but more likely it will be right after the merge. And the show WILL suffer for it.

Whatever happens this week, it's going to pale in comparison to the twist that should be coming up after episode six. I don't know exactly how it's going to play out, but Probst called it "the most impactful twist we've done" and according to the spoilers, he ain't kidding. So that at least should liven things up.

Still, I can't help but look at Survivor: Pearl Islands as one big, long opening act for what will either be the greatest Survivor ever or the worst - the All-Star Survivor (with the giggle-inducing acronym of A.S.S.) that is due to premiere next year. Burnett better get Rupert out there for that one too!