Locked away in the Mind of our Poet deVine lives the parallel BB4 Universe of "The X Factor Files"
Jack Mulder sat quietly watching the sky. He knew today was the big day and he’d finally get the proof he needed that there was ‘something out there’.
Dana was running laps in the back yard, sure that Jack was crazy. He’d been bragging for a week now that he had this feeling that there would be a ‘visit’ but she told him it was too much PB&J making his mind wander.
The other agents were getting their disguises ready for the next stake out. Jee was getting his hair cut so he would look like a Korean Telly Savalas. He liked the idea so much he kept asking for a sucker. Michelle, not the brightest agent in the force, obliged him by dropping to her knees and giving him some mouth action. Startled, he jumped back, his little FBI guy stretching to three times it’s normal size. Jun, who used to date Jee, walked in at that moment and screamed “If you’d given ME that much, I never would have left you!”
Down the hall, Erika was donning her Lisa disguise, complete with spider bite and Chihora hickey. Robert, Nathan, Justin and David were practicing their ‘moves’ on the turtles and were soon flat on their backs. The turtles were special agents trained by Steven Segal and Jean Claude Van Dam! You don’t mess with them!
Amanda and Alison were dressed as hookers, they were sure the ‘visitors’ would be attracted to this kind of woman! Besides, it was easy for both of them, they were used getting something for their favors. Alison, boasting now, told the story of how she almost got crowned Miss Pennsylvania, but some girl got to the last judge before she did and she was the winner.
And then there was a loud roar and the sky became illuminated.
“They’re here! They’re here!” Robert shouted as he jumped up and ran across the yard. He bumped into the light pole, tripped over a chess piece and landed in the pool! Dana jumped in to save him and as she dragged him out, she heard a voice coming from the sky.
“Scott! Put your hat back on, your head is blinding us!”
And there stood the alien. He had a woolen head, no hears and was screaming in a language that no one could understand. There were many ‘f’ words and ‘c’ words…the agents all stood and stared at him.
A chill ran through Jack Mulder. This truly was the most frightening alien encounter he’d ever had. He shuddered and turned away.
“Make it go away Dana!!”
Dana ran to the alien and with one mighty karate chop! The alien split in two and ran around the yard. It found the drain under the outdoor shower and split into hundreds of pieces as it slithered down the murky dark holes.
Jack Mulder and Dana sighed. It was over. The alien was dead.