I still can’t believe it

March 10, 2012

Please find attached the audience information letter for The Biggest Loser Finale, taking place Monday, March 18th at Sony Studios in Culver City.  You have been approved for 1 ticket to the show.

Please be sure to read the letter in its entirety as it covers arrival time, parking information, dress code and directions to the studio.  Please be sure to arrive on time as everyone must be in their seats no later than 4pm or you will lose your seat and be taken to a viewing area to watch the show.

To prepare for my adventure I decide to contact my friend Jill. She’s been with me step by step on this journey since we’ve met nine years ago and together we’ve lost almost 300 pounds.

300 pounds.

I said 300 pounds!

Now that’s much better!

Let the countdown begin!

4 Days to the Finale – Wardrobe Shopping. Because I’ve transformed myself, my closet is bare. What I do have has been either given to me by friends who are shrinking too, or a gift from my boyfriend’s motorcycle travels.

I purchased a pair of jeans, black dress pants, two lace tops in coral and aqua, two dresses in coral and aqua, some shape ware, a pair of shoes in coral, and two scarves in white and black because it’s still pretty cold in Dallas. My mother could make shopping an Olympic sport, so I’m pretty proud of myself, the bill was only about $230 after tax.

3 Days to the Finale – Hair Color, Manicure, Pedicure, and Jill started to make banners.

2 Days to the Finale – House cleaning (Troy’s mom is house-sitting – I need to make a good impression.) Grocery shopping so my kids won’t starve while I’m gone.

9:00 PM – “I got a few new tops. The audience letter said no logos, and all of the casual clothes I have are from you from your trips, so they all say Harley.” I said to Troy, my boyfriend.

“You can bring the Sturgis ones I gave you.” He replied.

But of course I can, why didn’t I think of that! Got to love him.   ;)

I did bring the Harley jean jacket he gave me because I really love it. I wore a beige denim jacket with my dress to the finale because I didn’t want any logo issues. I’m digging the Harley shirts too, but there is a time and a place, and I didn’t think that was the visual image I wanted to leave with people. When they come to Dallas and pay me a visit and I bring them to a metal concert (my boyfriend manages a heavy metal band,) then they’ll see me in my Harley t-shirts.

1 Day to the Finale – 4:00 AM, CST. Alarm rings. Yawn! Up, dressed, packed – makes me sleepy just thinking of it.

5:30 AM, CST – Troy and I are off to the airport He spent the night to give me a ride in my car. Going on the Harley would have made it awkward with the suitcase.

6:30 AM, CST – I’ve made it through security and I whip out my Nook. I begin to type an article about "The Bachelor" and "Celebrity Big Brother."

9:30 AM, CST – I got a snack from my purse. I brought whole wheat crackers with light cheese for breakfast.  We’re up in the air and the stewardess is offering me a drink. I think carefully. I’m in the mood to celebrate, so I’m going to spoil myself with a Mimosa. Sadly, they didn’t have champagne; I thought quickly on my feet and asked for orange juice and diet lemon lime soda. It was awesome!

9:30 AM, CST – I’ve put about 20 emails in my “outbox” for my sissy, Kim. They contain a few paragraphs each and some managed thoughts. She deciphered my notes and sent them to my Jokersupdates.com editor so y’all could read about how angry I was over the airbrushing of Sean’s lovely Catherine. Seriously? Was that really necessary? I still don’t know what to think about that.

9:30 AM, PST – I’ve landed in LA. Jill is already waiting for me, so quoting Sean’s adorable finance, I just need to “pee and go,” get my bag from baggage claim. I’m walking and walking and walking and I honestly can’t find a bathroom. Don’t celebrities in LA ever need an airport restroom? Oh, I get it; they must all have special bathrooms with special keys. Just wait, I’ll have one of those special keys someday.

9:45 AM, PST – I’ve finally found a bathroom. Off to the baggage claim.

10:00 am PST – And I’m waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting for my baggage, meanwhile Jill is circling and circling and circling LAX patiently waiting for me to get my bags.

10:15 am PST – I now need yet another restroom. I’m walking and walking and walking.

I learned a little something about LAX that I've never noticed before, (I had always driven to LA in the past, even for business since San Francisco isn't terribly far away) in addition to there being very few bathrooms, there are also very few restaurants unless you know the area and you know where to go. More on that key point later.

I finally have my suitcase and I connect with my skinny friend, Jill. It's the first time we've ever seen each other thin. It's almost 10:30 AM, PST.

“What do you want to do?” She asked

I grin, “Downtown Disney.”

Hey, I have my priorities. In the nine years I’ve known Jill; we’ve consistently communicated at least once weekly but only physically seen each other five times. Three of the five were in Disneyland.

On our way to Disney, we head to a store for bottled water, snacks, and wine for the room. I had the funny feeling drinking at the hotel bar would take most of my limited budget.

We then had lunch in downtown Disney. We split a Mexican taco plate and chatted. Mexican food seems to do really well with my Lapband, because I have to actually chew something crunchy, I can't just swallow. Jill caught me up on some of the highlights of earlier seasons of The Biggest Loser and told me about her audition for the first time.

I said in my first article that I didn't really get the Allison Sweeny thing and why she was affiliated with the show.

I get it now. She's taken the journey.

Before we move on, I have a little quiz for you.

The first rule about hanging around with people who have been on a reality show is to what?

A. Don't talk about production
B. Don't talk about production
C. Don't talk about production
D. All of the above

If you answered D. Congratulations you are correct. You've watched enough live Big Brother feeds and/or read enough of the boards on Jokersupdates.com to know contestants are not allowed to talk about production!

This means, I know nothing about production. Zip, nada, zilch!

But that doesn't mean non-contestants can't talk about production. Hey! Where there's a will there is a way. My friend Jill was able to tell me about her interview experience for Season 6.

The Audition

I remember it might have been my sister or her friend that told me about it and how it would be at the Saddle Ranch Steakhouse in LA. I wasn’t going to go because I was embarrassed.  When I finally did go, I was a nervous wreck and got there super early, which was good because the line of us fat people was around the corner. We stood in the hot sun for hours next to this steakhouse that was giving off such good aroma that I swear some people were looking at each other like cannibals. When we finally got to the front we could see that people were being separated into groups. Six to eight at a time, outside at tables, still in the sun and no water offered. It kind of put a silent stress on everyone that watched in line from a distance.  I was close to being the next group called and that's when I saw Allison Sweeney. I've been watching Days of Our Lives since 7th grade so I recognized her when no one else did. I called her name and she smiled at me and waved me over. I asked for her picture and she said, "Of course!" I was greasy with sweat from being in the sun and probably stunk to high heaven. I was so embarrassed when I saw that pic because I looked so much larger than I thought I really was.

Then they called my number with seven others. We sat with our faces in the sun. Two executives of the show were at our table.  They asked questions for five minutes. Each person got to answer one or two questions and then it was over--not much time to make a memorable first impression or get proper contestants for the show. We all got the "don't call us, we'll call you" story. Half the people ran into the restaurant and shoved their faces full of fries, onion rings and burgers.  I just drove home feeling shell-shocked and numb.

Jill’s highest weight was 324. As of the writing of this article, she’s lost close to 150 lbs.


To be continued. . .