Inside the Furball

By Maya Catgelou


Tweet from Sakkie
#BB17 feeds..did you get them yet bitch?

HUH? What’s a feed? I got food, some snacks, some catnip. Sakkie is so pompous, thinks because his owner is a genius TV person/writer that we all know this stuff like he does. Hell, MY owner crochets for God’s sake. Who does that anymore? So I asked him what he meant and he told me.

Camera’s in the BB house film the HGs 24/7. HUH? Who would be stupid enough to let someone see them like that. Like when they sleep and drool. Or they walk through the kitchen dropping smelly fartbombs? My owner yells at me for ripping one when I sit next to her on the sofa (well I try to sit with my butt in her face so it could be a bit offensive LOL). So Sakkie says they put the ‘live feeds’ on the Caternet and we can watch on our computers. Watch who has regular dumps and who eats the most and who has crabs on their ass.

I never knew this kind of thing existed! My experience with the Caternet is my fav catsoap ‘Catnip Alley’ or that decorating show ‘Flip My Litter’.  Sakkie said I had to pay for access. So I tried to get my owner interested by recording the promos for the show and running them on a continuous tape.  After six hours of Frankie Grande and the Chenbot (Sakkie my man who knows all told me their names), well she turned off the TV and threw a slipper at my head. Ok…so I howled like I was in heat when she did that so the slipper to the head was probably deserved.

Sakkie offered to pay for my live feeds if I’d show him a little tail on Skype.  Sighs….what a girl has to do to get stuff around here. So I paraded my tail for him. Shook it a couple of times and purred heavily into my mic. HAH! Male cats can be so easy. I was signed up in 10 minutes! Thanks Sakkie!

Got my space ready here. Moved my laptop to the floor, pulled my litter box closer. Got my dish of water and food nearby. My little cat bed is right in front of the computer and my catnip mouse is sitting on the edge just waiting for me to notice him.

I’m set. Ready. When does this start anyway?