Inside the Furball

Regurgitated Preview News from Sakkie’s Caternet buddy Maya Catgelou

 

I finally got an email from my best friend Sakkie. Seems his ‘owner’ finally showed up and straightened out some things about Big Brother. Damn that Sakkie! He got me hooked on the show years ago. It was all he talked about (well, not all but the other stories he told me were so outrageous I didn’t believe him. Nobody’s owner could do all THOSE things and not get arrested!)

Any way. Sakkie had me sitting in front of the computer while he was off saving ‘Ette’s ass… and now I can file my Catblog.

Regurgitate and Cogitate:

Sakkie told me to watch all the HG’s videos so of course I did -  usually he makes me watch stupid dog videos so I can laugh my ass off, so I’ll take his advice on these things. Ok, so this stood out from watching multiple videos : Doesn’t ANYONE realize that even though the HG’s haven’t heard the question before, WE have to hear them 14 times!  I’m so tired of hearing what zoo animal they wanted to be that I gave up listening and just cleaned my butt for 2 hours. It was more exciting and when I was done, I had a really litter free, sweet smelling butt!

Let me tell you right up front. I’m one of those cats that don’t like women. This cast proves why. Not one did anything for me. They looked like they’d lock me out of the bedroom while they slept just so I wouldn’t get fur on their precious bed.  And they seemed so TALL. Most of them looked like they could take ole Jeffy in an arm wrestling match (or a clown shoe hunt). Then after watching them, Sakkie told me the inside scoop on one. She used to be a boy! Apparently everyone could see this but me! Where was I? My face was in my rear I’m sure. Better get it out of there and keep track of these ladies. God only knows if there are more shenanigans going on here. Maybe one is a twin! I better find out fast!

The guys seemed to have better personalities. The screaming dentist, the Asian Hillbilly, the Styrofoam football player, a couple of nerds, the surfer dude (wasn’t he on LAST season?) and of course my favorite, the Big Furball. That is some hairy dude. My paws were itching to get on his naked chest and dig in looking for a soft spot. Whew, he has more hair than the five year furball I have in my closet!

Sakkie just IM’ed me to cut this short so ‘Ette can print it out and put it in their outhouse. Seems like SHE knows the worth of my words. Smart gal. SHE should be on BB; she’d wipe the floor with these HGs.

I hope to watch the season and cough up some gems for you. I’ll eat a little grass to make it more colorful.

See ya by the scratching post!

Maya