Inside the Furball Chapter 4
By Maya Catgelou
Email from Sakkie *get your butt over to the BB house and find out what’s going on. One of the HGs is MISSING*
What can I say? I owe Sakkie for getting the feeds for me so I figured I could do him a favor and investigate. Took me a couple of days recon to get into the house (under bushes, over walls, behind lounge chairs and a close encounter with a sliding door) but I’m here with my laptop strapped to my back, hiding behind the stairs to the HOH room. Boy is it noisy here. Screaming and crying and people running back and forth – with all this activity, I’d be willing to be there are no mice left in here!
Then one by one the HGs all went to bed. It was in the middle of the frickin’ day! Never thought I’d meet humans who could sleep more than me. So I laid my head down on my laptop backpack and fell asleep.
An hour or so later I was startled awake by a woman stomping to the sliding door and saying “ You, you , you and you…come with me”…then a bunch of humans walked single file behind here. Wow, I thought, must be something serious – looked like they were scared..maybe this person was going to whomp on them. I followed behind as quietly as I could and got to a door just as it slammed shut in front of me. I hid under a shirt that was lying on the floor at the foot of an unmade bed and strained my ears to hear what was going on in the other room.
I quickly learned the human version of a cat fight – without the scratching and tail biting. One woman was yelling at another woman and the SHE was yelling at the other people in the room. I was so confused it sounded like a game of ‘he said she said’ with nobody making any sense. I was about to leave when the first woman yanked opens the door and said ‘I gotta leave or I’m gonna slap off your face’…or something like that. I scooted under a bed as the group left the room one at a time. The last to leave passed the bed I was under and threw herself into the corner of a bed and pulled the covers over her head. I thought I heard her crying at one point.
Fell asleep again. Hey! What can I say, old habits die hard. I’m a cat! All I do is nap, eat and poop.
It was dark when I peeked out from under the bed. I could hear sniffling and the rustling of fabric. Usually I’m no scaredy cat. Been around too long to let noise and stuff spook me. But this was eerie. No one was around so I of course thought the Big Brother house must be haunted and I hate ghosty things. I hide under the dishwasher during Halloween..nasty little spooky beggars at the door!
I followed the noise (fool! First rule of scary movies is DO NOT investigate noises). My backpack was pretty heavy so I couldn’t climb up the side of the comforter that was covering the bed in front of me so I sort of stood on my tippy paws.
The covers moved and ARGHHHHHEHHHHH!!!! BIG GLOWING EYES stared at me!! I threw my front legs into the air, screeched like a banshee and dropped a furball the size of my ass on the floor!!
Couldn’t help it..the thing in the bed was coming for me! I turned and scooted the hell out of the room and somehow made it back to the stairs. I cringed, panting heavily and waited for the monster to come and get me.
Nothing came. The other houseguests were all outside talking and laughing. I chose a corner of the space and peed. At this point I didn’t care that there was no litter, I needed to pee so bad!
Hearing footsteps, I watched as someone came out of the room I just left. It was a female human in a pink shirt, hair on top of her head and glasses that made her eyes seem huge. This was the monster I’d seen! I felt a little silly at that point. She must have had to use the human litter box as a few minutes later she went back to her room. When she walked past me, I noticed the wall of pictures and quickly picked her out from the group.
This was a new development. I was stuck in the house and had just dropped a big juicy Furball.
I had to let Sakkie know so I set up my laptop quietly and sent off a message.
“Sakkie! Guess what dude! I think I just found a new way to judge these people for you. I gave out an award today. Yessir. The Big Brother Furball Award.
First Furball award of the season went to Audrey – for stirring shit and scaring me half to death.
I’m gonna hang here for as long as I can and I’ll let you know how things go!
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Meet Maya Catgelou, friend of Jokerette's cat Sakkie and first time BB watcher