Fox is calling this the TV Event of the Year. I guess I missed that awards show. It’s the final of American Idol. It is either Bo or Carrie, or Carrie or Bo. The excitement is underwhelming. It is the most hyped-up event of the year. The judges are all dressed up. Even Simon wore a blazer over the t-shirt. It’s boy versus girl. Two original songs and their favorite song they sang in the competition.

Bo is going first with an original song written for him called the “The Long Long Road“. This song is a mediocre rock ballad. It sounds like it was written to assure Bo loses. The first verse is so low (subhuman) we can’t hear the words; the chorus builds like a big ballad and then turns into a backup singer break. Finally Bo wraps it up with a fist in the air and it’s one song down. He did the best he could given the material. It was just not Bo’s kind of song except in a couple of places in the chorus. It was boring. The judges’ comments, ugghhh. Why bother? Simon says it was a dreary, bleary song. Yeah, so why did you make him sing it? Bait and catch. Maybe the real test was that he was supposed to refuse to sing it and sing something else a cappello. Logic never has been the calling card for this show and it’s sticking to form tonight.

Carrie’s first song is, “Inside Your Heaven”. It’s also a mediocre ballad. It sounds as mindless as Bo’s song. Carrie is singing off-key most of the song. It’s a little like several other songs tagged together complete with key modulations, choruses, bridges, extra chrome and dual headlights. It was a train wreck, maybe the worst song Carrie has performed all season. These songs are horrible. Randy Jackson can’t say enough about how bad they are either. Paula is …oh never mind. Simon is giving round one to Carrie. Big Surprise! He’s covered for her all season and continues to tonight. The hypocrisy is thickening as a lisper might say. They complain about song choice all season long and harp on the importance of picking the right song, then dump this crap in the singers’ laps and expect them to make a big hit out of the sow’s ear of a song.

Bo’s second song is his repeat of “Vehicle”. He is performing it in a straight out style using the band like an experienced singer does. This is where Bo excels above all the other contestants and has all season. His experience and comfort on stage are obvious. He rocks this song. For once, I can actually use a Paula quote, “You could not have performed that any better.” “Welcome back,” snarls Simon. Give this guy a song and he can sing it.

Carrie’s repeat song is “Independence Day”. It’s pure country with an edge, supposedly. It’s not a happy song or a pretty song. It’s about someone that kills her abuser and feels free at last. They left out the verses of the song that say that though, so Carrie really only had to build to the chorus and look like she meant it. It just did not connect for me, even though there was good singing in places. Simon said it was not a good vocal and that Bo wins round two. I think he’s playing the game of looking mean to Carrie so she gets sympathy votes, but I'm a little paranoid at this point.

Round three for Bo is “Inside Your Heaven”. Bo starts low again and it’s hard to hear the words, but it doesn’t’ really matter. It‘s such a clichéd song. “Till the storm blows over“ “Take me to the place you come from“ “I want to be inside your heaven”. It’s how you make a song sound dirty and holy at the same time. Randy loved it, even though Bo croaked it out in a couple of places. Paula…who cares? Simon says it has been an absolute pleasure having Bo on American Idol. At least it’s been different. We’ll never see Bo in a Boy Band or even singing a Boy Band song (after tonight anyhow). That has been the style for the majority of the male contestants up till now. It’s nice to have a full-grown man around the house for a change. Go the Bo.

Carrie is singing “Angels Brought me Here”. This is much more Carrie’s style of song, but Carrie is singing a bit flat tonight. I think nerves finally affected both contestants tonight. Carrie looks great. She’s a producer’s dream I imagine. Pure clay that has never been molded by any other hands. Carrie hits the money note, but not as good as Kelly did I think. If Carrie wins, she could make a great record, but she will never be the strong performer that Bo is. In fact, they compliment each other in many ways and might make a good duo. Simon thinks…hold your breath…that Carrie has done enough to win this competition. I’m so not surprised and really could care less who wins. If you do care, tonight is the night to hit the redial while you watch the rest of prime time. Bo or Carrie. Carrie or Bo. Someone is going to be called an Idol and someone else is going to get another deal, maybe better than the other’s. There’s no competition, anymore. It’s all just cashing in chips now.