In the wake of things, maybe tonight’s theme should be Scandalous Songs. It’s doubtful, but it’s better than the last two weeks choices. You would think there were politicians involved, what with all the accusations and rebuttals going on. He Said, She Said. All I know is what I’ve seen and drugs or no drugs, Paula has been loopy. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Gilda Radner played loopy, Marilyn Monroe played loopy, and Lucy was loopy. All I can say is either own it or drop it. No more excuses and long complicated medical explanations. Just admit to loopiness and we’re all cool. Unfortunately, the real theme is songs from 2000 to the present. Wow. I’m underwhelmed yet again. Maybe they’ll have heard these once or twice and can mimic them better.
Carrie’s preview is more farm stuff. She sings to the cows. Figures. They don’t look for or expect facial expressions. She is singing something country, “God Fearing Women Get the Blues”, a Martina McBride single. It’s one of those sassy, country cute songs; a pseudo-blues song with little vocal range. All I can say is get a gig on Nashville Star. She sang off key the whole song and I couldn’t understand a word she sang. I thought it was a lousy song choice and a very mediocre performance. Randy and Paula weren’t hip to it and neither was Simon but he found a way to kiss up yet again. It’s so obvious he wants her to win. I’m still not sure why. Maybe he’s done the marketing score sheet on everyone and she always comes out on top. I don’t get it.
Clay Aiken is in the audience. Bo is showing his sweet home in Alabama. He’s been at this stuff for a while, playing in road bands for several years now. I’m not sure about white men in dashikis, even short ones. They looked silly on hippies too. His song is “I Don’t Want to Be Anyone Other Than Me”. It’s a good song for Bo and it says just how he feels about this whole thing. He rocks it all the way through and is more connected with the band than most of the other singers. The judges and the audience love it. Lots of extended screaming. Simon complains about the sunglasses. How did he overlook the shirt? Go the Bo. Or something like that. He’s becoming my fave too. I mean he’s nearly middle-aged and he dresses and grooms like I did back in 1972. How could I not like him?
Ryan insists on calling Vonzell “The Vonz”, but she tells us she is really “Baby V”. Shut up, Ryan. Baby V knows who she is. Her family is as cute as she is. She is becoming the soulful diva of the show fo sho. “I Turn To You” is her song choice. She sings it on-key and relaxed and hits the hard notes. Hard to complain about it, but Simon tries. Even he is not sure about his own criticism. Baby V did good….real good.
Anthony Federov is singing Celine Dion, “I Surrender“. I don’t like her either, so I’m sure to hate this. Please don’t send me more mail asking WHY DO YOU EVEN WATCH? I watch because I want to. I want the good ones to do well and win, and I want the bad ones to go home. If we don’t agree on who is whom, so what. I still like to watch. I’m an Idol watcher. I’m the ideal Idol watcher. If they can call it “Idol”, I can claim whatever I want. The six year olds like Anthony. Surprise. Anthony is from the Ukraine, he reminds us for the eleventh time. All these tearful parents tonight aren’t making my show experience more enjoyable. I find it intrusive and cloying. Don’t try to sway my vote. I was right. I hate this performance and this song. Could he look more pleading or annoying? He’s got the suit on, but he still stands up and does the bounce. It’s all just too too too dramatic and over done. Paula makes good sense in saying Anthony finally sang a whole song and paced it correctly from start to finish. Simon agrees with her, says it would appeal to Anthony’s audience (8 year olds), but still admits he hates it. Me too.
Constantine is showing his New York (Brooklyn) Greek upbringing. He was a good boy until he discovered Rock n’ Roll is the (fake) storyline. He is singing Nickelback’s “How You Remind Me”, but Constantine can’t decide whether he’s going to sing it rocker style, or on-key style like the last two weeks. I wish they’d take away the mike stand and deduct points for kicking at the camera. It is irritating. I’d want to kick something too if I couldn’t sing any better than this. This song has around three notes in it. I could sing it. “I’m a bluebird, I’m a bluebird, yeahhhhh”. It didn’t rock. It was a lot of attitude and little singing. The judges didn’t love it, but Paula talks about performance versus accuracy and makes sense again. What the hell? Simon says it was a bad imitation and that sums it up.
Scott is showing his family and his baby. He feels he is representing the average working man in America. That’s OK. I knew the thug thing was just the same thing kids pretend to every day in every suburban neighborhood . He is singing “Dance with My Father”. It’s a really sensitive song, but he misses the high notes, and some of the middle notes, and there aren’t any low notes. None of the judges are impressed and Simon says, “I would pack my suitcase”. I agree. It’s time for Scott to go home. No connection with the audience at all tonight and a struggle all the way through the song. We’ll see tomorrow. Paula has obviously made an effort to look sober and talk in complete sentences tonight. Are we sure we want her this way? Wasn’t it more exciting wondering if she was going to make all the way through the show in an upright position?
