What’s left to say? Two hours of filler tonight so there is not much new information. The opening number by the losing final 8 reminds us of why those people are not in the finals. They sing more wrong notes than right. Bo and Carrie aren’t in the group numbers yet, but they are singing their songs of choice again. Bo sings “Vehicle” in his usual commanding style, and Carrie sings, “Angels Brought Me Here” again, much better than she did last night. I bet she wishes she sang that good last night. It’s the finale song that was written for the first winner of Australian Idol, Guy Sebastian. Bo and Carrie seem calm on stage. It’s all in the bag now. Might as well enjoy the ride.

Judges interviews reveal that Randy thought Carrie was the better performer last night. He in fact invited her to the dawg pound (roll eyes). The next few minutes are wasted on the Simon/Paula Wars and the horrid flashback of “the kiss”. Paula’s interview is kept light with no references to any of her problems this season. As much as they like killing time, you’d think we could get a half hour segment out of that. Simon is wearing a revealing unbuttoned shirt under suit jacket tonight. He pretends to be sincere as he reveals he is sure that Carrie is going to win the competition. Should we just stop watching now? LaToya London is the on-site reporter from Birmingham Alabama and Simon correctly says she acts like she is drunk. The conversation goes downhill from there. Matt Rogers is in Oklahoma with Carrie’s pawpaw and a puppy. This is marketing at it’s best.

Still one hour and 12 minutes left. Maybe I’ll clean the bathroom. It’s more rewarding and less irritating. Cleaning the toilet might be fun in comparison. When they return from commercial with horrible contestants that didn’t make it, I know it’s time to do something else for a while. Like other countries have in the past, they bring the horrid contestant right onto stage and let her have another 2 minutes of shame fame. It’s becoming popular these days.

Carrie and Bo are doing a duet, which I’ve been hoping for. They are complimentary in style, kind of of like Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. So, they sing, “Love Lift Us Up”. They sound better together than most of the other groupings they’ve tried and they actually get the harmony parts right on the end. I knew they’d be good together. It’s obvious they are friends and not really competitors. They both get brand new Mustang convertibles and well deserved after all those Ford commercials.

Bo versus Carrie. She’s a little bit country; He’s a little bit rock n’ roll. A segment on their “journey”. Carrie is country sunshine; Bo is the southern rocker from Alabama. Do you get the picture yet? One hour would have been plenty for the viewers tonight, but the 36-40 minutes of prime commercial time they sell in two hours could pay for the whole season. Simon needs some new t-shirt money. Paula has legal fees upcoming. Randy wants to add-on at the dawg pound. The excitement builds.

The charity single has been number one for over a month. It’s time for numbers manipulation. They are masters at American Idol. They could make you a star without you ever leaving your house, according to the numbers. More horrible contestants. More horrible. More…horrible…contestants. They have the numbers on them, too. They are crunk. “Can you DIG it, BABY?” Auditions are coming up this summer. More HORRIBLE contestants. More horrible contestants. More American Idol. Time killers, extraordinaire. Even David Hasselhoff shows up. It’s an experiment in excitement. A bonanza of commercial sales. My bathroom still needs cleaning and here I sit.

Thirty-nine more minutes and Ryan finally refers to this season’s controversy. It’s an expose’ of Simon’s supposed receiving “insider” help in his role as a judge. Comedy Central beware. Randy and Paula are cutting a single about Simon called, “Dawg, Dawg, Dawg”. It’s comedy gone crazy. Simon has been getting help selecting clothing including panties. Constantine gets the part of the Italian waiter. The comedy gets lost in the confusing story. Keep it simple stupid. Randy plays his own parents, rooting for the single. It’s all a loaded gun pointed at Corey Clark; a good parting shot at a bad sport. Simon is finally revealed to be in love with, and having an affair with himself. No one is surprised. William Hung is called in as Simon’s replacement. Look for the Emmy for comedy series this year to go to this segment.

Thirty minutes left and scads of performers yet to go. I’m betting it’s one big jam on stage, because at some point, we’re supposed to reveal the Idol. Yep, the all-star medley starts with Carrie singing with Rascal Flats. She fits right in, but the guy out-sings her. He has lots of depth to his voice and they sound great together. Carrie is better in combination with someone than alone. It pushes her to new heights. She’ll have a great career, winner or not. Anthony and Anwar are singing while KennyG plays. They sound pretty good, but I am completely tired of the song, “ I Believe I Can Fly”. The singing becomes yelling toward the end. Next up are Constantine, Nadia, Jessica and Kenny Wayne Sheppard doing “Walk This Way”. This might be my favorite segment. Jessica has no body shame, her top being shorter than Nadia’s skirt. Kenny Wayne was great. Scott and Nikko are singing “On Broadway” while George Benson provides the guitar. They both sound better than they ever did on the show. It’s always better after the competition is over. George gets to sing a verse and show them about phrasing. It’s a master class. Vonzell is singing on the piano lid with Billy Preston playing. This is the most professional pairing so far, and Baby V sounds like a pro up there singing with the Beatles keyboard player, great harmonies and my favorite thing in the show so far. Lindsey and Mikalah are singing with Babyface, poor guy. Never has one of his songs been more tortured. I bet he’s not signing either of them. The finale is Bo Bice singing “Sweet Home Alabama” with Lynyrd Skynyrd. Still, I was most impressed with Carrie and Vonzell out of the entire group. I wish Bo got to sing another song. This one’s been used already once by Ruben. How come Skynyrd didn’t show up for Ruben? Anyhow, thirteen more minutes and we can wrap this thing up for a while. After the break, results live.

Bo, Carrie, and Ryan stand on stage and Ryan reveals more prizes. A private jet service for the winner. The judges have a last comment and then the accountant brings out the results. This year’s American Idol is Carrie Underwood. No big surprise and I think Bo will prosper as much as Carrie from his exposure and maybe get to do it in a more independent manner. Carrie seems stunned. Simon is happy. Carrie sings the horrid single, “Inside Your Heaven” which sounds even dirtier when a girl sings it. Someone get the girl a good song. She goes off singing as flat as she did last night and seeming as uncomfortable with the song as before. A fitting end on flat note. “Thank You America” and goodnight.